Sorry I didn't update last week, I really meant to, but I haven't had internet access for over the past week and a half. Internet deprivation really sucks…
Anyways, so now my fic is officially Bakura/Yami and I'm sorry if that's not what you expected. And no, I won't change it out of perversity or anything like that for all you who like darkshipping. I'm glad I got a lot of positive feedback for this pair. I thought I put enough little hints throughout the first chapters that it was obvious, but I was apparently wrong because some people still thought it was going to be Ryou/Bakura. Well, if you like Y/B then read on, but it won't get too serious for a while, there's still some other things to take care of first. And if you don't like that sort of thing, you could still read the next couple of chapters and be safe! As always, thanks for the reviews and let me know what you think of this chapter!
Chapter 6
Startling Conclusions
I come around the corner and peak my head into a room. I see Ryou standing there with his back to me, apparently not noticing my presence. It looks like he is staring down at something. There is a wrenching feeling in my chest as I realize he's holding a knife in his hand.
"Ryou, what are you doing?!" I am overwhelmed with panic and fear because of what he might do with that knife. He turns around slowly and looks up at me with surprisingly calm eyes.
"It's okay Bakura, I'm not going to be a bother to you any longer…" His voice is completely without emotion as he raises the knife he is holding.
"No, Ryou!! Please don't do this!" I run towards him in a useless attempt to stop his action. Just before I reach him he plunges the knife into his stomach. He falls to the floor and blood spills out of him, staining the beige colored carpet a brilliant crimson.
"Ryou, why?" I ask as I kneel down to his side. He reaches up to my face with one hand and wipes the tears that I didn't know I had shed. He smiles briefly.
"Don't worry, I know you'll be sad at first, but you'll get over it." I am shocked, this is all wrong, it has to be!
No, he can't be doing this to me! Why is he leaving? This is not right. I need him! His hand falls from my face as he closes his eyes. His body is totally limp as I wrap my arms around his shoulders.
"Ryou! Ryou, please don't leave me…" I hold his lifeless form closer and closer hoping that he's not really dead, that what just happened wasn't real. But I feel so empty. The other half of my soul is gone and I will never be able have him back. My tears fall freely while I gaze down at Ryou's peaceful appearance. I brush a few stray strands of hair from his angelic face and start crying all over again. This is all my fault.
"Ryou!" I cry to him.
"Ryou…."
"Bakura! Bakura!" I am shaking and everything turns to black. Ryou is gone and I am left with only my emptiness and solitude. Hell must be calling to me. Coming to drag me down into its depths because of what I have done to Ryou. But it is what I deserve after all.
"Bakura!" I am still shaking and there is suddenly a pain on my face. I gradually open my eyes again. It is blurry but I can see black, red, and yellow. It looks like fire. There are eyes, gleaming fiery eyes staring into my own.
"Bakura!" My vision clears slightly, enough so that I jolt upwards when I realize what I am truly seeing.
"Bakura, are you alright?" Yami asks me with concern in his voice as well as his eyes. I blink a few times trying to desperately get rid of the images I just saw, telling myself over and over that it was all just a dream.
"You cried out while you were sleeping and it looked like you were having a nightmare. I tired to wake you up gently, but it wasn't working so I had to be a little more forceful. Sorry…"
I put my hand to my face where I felt the pain from before. As I touch it, there is a slight sting that remains, but more importantly, I realize that my cheek is wet. Great, not only did Yami have to hit me to wake me up, but he also saw me cry. How humiliating…
"It's alright…" I tell him in a rather annoyed manner after crossing my arms and turning away from him. I will not give him the pleasure of seeing me so vulnerable.
"Are you going to be alright?" He asks as he reaches to wipe the tears from my face, but before he can, I bat his hand away. I give him one of my signature evil glares to make up for the weakness I just let him glimpse, but the expression instantly falls from my face as I see Yami's own expression change from one of concern to one of hurt. Damn, I've upset him again. Why am I so stupid?
I hear a faint noise from another room and see Yami turn his attention towards it. "I'll go answer the phone." Right, that's what it was… He gets up from the couch and leaves the room. There is a sudden chill throughout my body; I guess I didn't realize how close or how warm Yami was. I almost miss him not being there… But what the hell is wrong with me? When did I start thinking things like this towards the Pharaoh?
I shake my head a few more times in an effort to clear my head of all that has just taken place, but one horrific reminder remains. The image of Ryou, lying dead in a sea of crimson, consumes my every thought. I have never had a dream that real or that terrifying before. Still shaking, I wrap my arms around myself, hoping to get back under control before Yami decides to come back.
Reluctantly sifting back through the memories of my dream, I recognize the words that Ryou spoke as my own, uttered at two different instances but still my own, almost exactly. I am haunted by the phrase I voiced to Yami before I fell off the building and the one I only thought of telling Ryou. Is this what Ryou would have felt had I tried to kill myself in front of him? Oh Ra, or is this what he is going through now? I have caused Ryou all this despair and pain- I don't deserve to be called his yami, the other half of his soul. I have failed to be his guardian, even from the very beginning.
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to rid myself of all these thoughts, but the attempt fails and I start shaking more violently. Tightening my hold around my waist, I detect Yami's presence enter back into the room. I refuse to look at him though, considering the miserable state that I am in right now. I hear him glide quietly across the floor and stop in front of where I am sitting on the couch.
"Bakura…" he whispers to me in a soft voice. I can't look at him. I can't bear to allow him to see me like this. I will not let him see me cry again. I am strong and I am in control of every one of my emotions and actions. I am in control, really I am.
Yami's hands slowly wrap themselves around my upper arms. "It's okay, whatever nightmare you had is over now." I open my eyes gradually as I listen to the irony of his words. No Yami, I have been in a nightmare for some time now and it probably won't end any time soon, I think to myself. As he sits there with his legs underneath him, examining my face, I harden my expression as much as is possible in my current state, but I have no idea what I actually look like. I probably resemble some ridiculous stubborn child.
He gives me a sad smile as he rises up on his knees and moves his arms around me. He is so warm. The shaking throughout my body subsides. But why is he being so nice to me? Just a moment ago, I rejected his kindness and he instantly returns to offer it once again. Am I really that pitiful that he can forgive me so easily? With his head resting on my shoulder he tells me, "You know, you don't have to be so strong all the time."
I must be so transparent right now. But this is so comforting; maybe I can let my vulnerability through just this once. I think that I need this right now, this one time. I need some sort of release. I relax my arms from around my waist and lower them to his own. They linger for a moment, but I decide in the end to give up. I enclose his waist with my arms and bury my face into his shoulder. Closing my eyes, tears fall freely and silently, but I don't care anymore, I have given up.