So, here's the next chapter! I was so sad that I only got two reviews last week… is anyone still reading my story? Oh, I read your story BloodShedRed and I thought it was cute. I can never think of any parody things like that and I've tried really hard in the past. Keep writing! Anyways, for those still interested, this chapter is where some things are finally solved. Enjoy and please review!
Chapter 9
Reconciliation
As I step into my house, everything is dead silent. It's probably about 10:30am by now; I would expect Ryou to be up and about. This absolute quiet is rather unnerving. I'm afraid to make any sort if noise, so I softly take off my shoes and cautiously move into the living room. Hmm, no one is here. I search the entire first floor and find no sign of either Ryou or Yugi. I don't think they would have left the house for any reason. Ryou had to have known I would be back this morning, why would he have left?
I guess I should go check Ryou's room. I try as hard as possible not to step on any creaks in the stairs. It's getting to the point that I have to remind myself to breath because I'm so scared of breaking the silence. I don't even know why I'm acting like this… I guess I just don't know what I'm going to find.
I come to Ryou's room, the door is open about halfway and I look through to the one side of the room. Yugi is there, sleeping in Ryou's bed peacefully, but where is Ryou? I step over a few feet to change the angle of the room that I can view and I finally find Ryou standing with his back to me. My heart races as I realize he is looking down at something in his hand. I act on my first instinct and push open the door the rest of the way, running up to him and stopping a few steps away.
Ryou obviously hears me and turns his head to face me. He looks tired but surprisingly calm. I enter a total panic, assuming that my worst fears are about to take place in front of my eyes. I'm about to call out to him to stop what he is doing, when he turns the rest of the way around, revealing that in reality, he is holding his dueling deck in his hands and not a knife or anything that could hurt him.
I stop, utterly stunned, but relieved at the same time. Adrenaline still coursing through my body, I quickly take Ryou into my arms in a tight embrace. I was so afraid. I never want to let go of him.
Ryou slowly wraps his arms around me and I finally find my voice to speak to him. "I'm so sorry." I tell him in a whisper.
Why don't we go somewhere else and leave Yugi to sleep here. He says to me through our link. I release him slightly and look down into his eyes. It feels so much better to share our link once again. His arms drop from around me and I let go of him. He sets down his deck on his desk and starts to leave the room. I follow him downstairs to the couch in the living room.
We sit on the couch facing each other. Ryou sits slightly slumped forward, with his head hanging down. He stares up at me with half-opened eyes. He looks just about as bad as I did this morning, only more dejected somehow. I guess I am just not used to seeing his usually cheerful demeanor totally nonexistent like this.
"I'm so sorry for what I've done to you." I repeat the apology again. I'd repeat it a million times if it would just make him smile again. I can't believe that I've done this to him.
"I know," he responds, without saying anything else. I can feel the waves of depression flowing through our link and he must be able to sense my fear and sorrow, though he doesn't seem to be reacting to it or much of anything at the moment.
"I know what I did was selfish and I wasn't taking into account your feelings at all, but I realize that I was wrong and I will never do anything like this to you again." Ryou is unmoving and his expression doesn't change as well. He says nothing, only continues to stare back into my eyes.
"Please understand, I've come to realize how important you are to me and that I want you to be happy. You are the other half of my soul and… and I love you." Now that I think of it, I don't think that I have ever said that to him before. If he will just forgive me, maybe I can start to like this life again and not hate myself as much as I do right now.
My last statement seemed to spark his attention and he refocuses on my eyes. His expression changes and I can detect a slight amount of relief through our link. Can't he feel how sorry I am, shouldn't that account for something?
"I know you are sorry and afraid for me, but I can still feel some regret and doubt within you about continuing to live your life. I don't want you to go on living just because of me. I want you to do it for yourself too." I'm taken aback at his last words. But what do I have in this life besides him? What point is there, besides his happiness?
"See!" His voice breaks, "There it is! You need to find a reason to live your life for you, something that makes you want to live. You will never be happy if you are only living for another's sake. I want you to be happy too, you know!" This is something I had never considered before and a grave error on my part. I had convinced myself that I hated everything in this miserable world and that I no longer belonged in it, but in the end I came to the conclusion that I had to live for Ryou. What else am I supposed to do in this horrid existence? Ryou sighs, obviously monitoring my confused emotions through our link.
"I want you, to want to live, even if I weren't here. I can't be happy if you hate this existence and are only remaining for me. I don't want to see you suffer. If you really want to die, then I'm sure there is some way for you to accomplish it, if that's what you really want." Is he giving me permission to kill myself? I can't believe this. There is a fleeting moment of temptation, but I instantly suppress the desire and push it back into the farthest reaches of my mind. Ryou is just doing this to be selfless, but I can't help but wonder how he would react if I actually said yes.
"Making you happy, makes me happy, and that is why I live now." I try desperately to give him a satisfactory answer, but I'm sure my doubt is slipping through to him. It's not like I can really cut off our link now, it would be much too obvious that I was hiding something from him. I just have to hope that he accepts my reasons and believes that I'm not going to try to kill myself again.
"Okay, Bakura. I know you can't have the same life you once had in Ancient Egypt, but you can try to have an enjoyable one now, for your own sake. You've adjusted pretty well to modern life given the circumstances, but I can still sense the hatred you have within you, for practically everything but me."
"What do you expect me to do, turn into some "peace on earth, good will towards man" loving dolt? Even if I have lost my darkest personality traits, I will never be like that. I am a yami for Ra's sake; I am supposed to be evil!"
"Now you are the one who's blowing everything way out of proportion. I just want you to enjoy life, that's all, even if doing evil things is what makes you happy." He smirks slightly, "But not too evil of course." That was certainly a gift from the gods. At least he can still be a little lighthearted about some of this.
"I know that what you like and what I like are practically opposites, but that's the principle behind us isn't it? Do what you want to do and I will support any decision that you make, no matter how bad I may think it is. I'm glad that you have started to consider my feelings, but I don't want them to be the determining factor of everything in your life."
"I will try to appreciate life… for myself." That is all that I can give him. I can't promise it, because I don't want to lie to him again.
"Good." He leans over and hugs me, while I become aware of the growing presence of relief from his end of the link. I think he was a little afraid as well, afraid that I would not want to live, but I can't really blame him for that. There is still some doubt and sadness coming from Ryou, but it is negligible at this point. He is mostly just tired now.
"I can never say how sorry I am for all of this. You of all people certainly don't deserve to have to go through something like this." I say as I hold him tighter.
"It's okay, don't worry about it anymore. I forgive you." A tremendous weight lifts from my soul and I feel extremely relieved. I certainly needed that said aloud from Ryou. I don't think that I could have ever moved on if he hadn't said those simple words. I draw him impossibly closer as he sends the words through our link once again.
"I just have one more issue to clear up." I let him go and look back into his chocolate brown eyes, questioning and confused.
"You stayed at Yugi's house the
whole night, right?"
"Yeah."
"And is Yami still alive to see the light of day? I won't have to tell Yugi any bad news will I?" His eyes brighten and he smiles softly as his entire expression lightens.
"What would I ever do to Yami? Haven't I always been the nicest person to everyone, including him?" I reply, trying to sound as innocent as possible, with a relieved smile on my face. Ryou quietly laughs to himself and settles down next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder and falls asleep.
I hope Yugi doesn't wake up for a while.
To be continued-
Okay, I know there was no Yami/Bakura stuff, but just wait until the next chapters! I have a lot of stuff already planned out in my head and a romance fic was what the kind of story I wanted to write in the first place. Anyways, I will have pretty much all of the characters in the rest of the story in about the next two chapters probably, I know it has been kind of centered around the four up until now. Hope you liked it!