The Pervert Ninja
PART II
Chapter 11 – Understanding the Madness! Help, Shikimaru!
Back at Konoha…"Damn, 10 minutes!"
Naruto sped through the streets of Konoha, knowing full well he would be tardy anyways. Suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks, hearing three familiar voices…
"Come on Moegi, be my love slave…"
"Konohamaru, you're such a weirdo!"
"Don't refuse the number one pimp of Konoha, baby."
"What the hell's going on here…have you gone mad, dude?"
Konohamaru turned around broke into a grin. "Hey Naruto! How did the mission go?"
"OK, I guess…why are you and runny-nose hittin' on Moegi?"
"Well, you do it to Sakura-chan all the time," Konohamaru answered, looking at the ground.
"Yes, but we're ADULTS. Look at you three, you're like…the size of my hand!"
"Naruto, maybe you haven't noticed, but we're all almost 5 feet tall, and we can probably read and write better than you-"
"Whoooa! Five feet! I ate five pounds of ramen before I got here, you should too-"
"Uh…don't you have somewhere to go, Naruto?" asked Udon. "We shouldn't be keeping you waiting."
"Oh yeah, whoops." He zoomed off for the academy teacher's lounge, shooting one last puzzled look at Konohamaru.
"Hey Naruto! Late again, huh?"
"Ah shaddup, Shikimaru. What do you got for us?"
Naruto sat down at an oval table between Jiraiya and Kakashi. Also seated were Shikimaru, Shizune, and Tsunade.
"We're ready when you are, Hokage," said Kakashi. Tsunade stood up and began to speak and jot notes down on a small blackboard simultaneously.
"As you all know by now, the written details sent to those who participated in the Facility 12 mission did not have my authorization. Apparently, someone snuck into my office and stole my Hokage document seal-"
"What's that?" Naruto whispered noisily to Kakashi.
"It's a symbol for authenticating orders to noisy, hyperactive ninja like you, Naruto. Now sit your ass DOWN!"
"Whoa, calm down, granny Tsunade…"
The Hokage continued.
"As I was saying, my document seal was stolen, so Kakashi-san and Jiraiya-sannin thought the order had come straight from my office. I believe the thief is the same man who hired Itadari to defend Facility 12, so we can assume that this thief set the trap for us. As of now, we don't know how many of these distribution warehouses still exist, containing possibly thousands of photos of our…naked leaf comrades. The national Chuunin exam will be held here in 16 days, so I don't need to tell you how imperative it is for us to capture this pervert ninja before Konoha is disgraced beyond belief. Now Shikimaru-san, if you would…"
Shikimaru got up lazily.
"Although I find the whole thing troublesome, I am, at least according to Konoha, a super genius who can figure out anything. So, here are my thoughts of the situation."
Naruto yawned and turned his attention to Tsunade's breasts. A small grin began to form across his face, much to the disgust of Shizune.
"First off, we know the following from Morino Ibiki after his interrogation of Itadari. The man who hired him was tall, a bit out of shape, and had a very odd voice, possibly a falsetto. He also wore a black cloak and his face was covered with a dark hat. Itadari was ordered to guard the distribution facilities of photos that the man said he had taken himself."
"Hmm…there aren't too many ninja who sport that look," noted Kakashi.
The rest of the shinobi nodded.
"Go on, Shikimaru."
"Right-o, Kakashi-san. We also heard from Itadari that their meeting took place in the Hidden Sand village during the return of Gaara, but of course, that is no guarantee that the village is the Pervert Ninja's permanent residence."
"Correct," Shizune added. "Tsunade-sannin often brings along fellow shinobi from Konoha on her visits to Hidden Sand. This ninja could be from any village."
"Right. However, the fact that Hidden Sand is quite a distance from any food or water sources, moreso than any other village, allows us to at least speculate that the Pervert Ninja visits Hidden Sand to keep himself nourished, or at least hires someone to do it for him. According to our records, he cannot visit Konoha, due to the fact that none of our shinobi or visitors fit the profile described by Itadari."
"So, what are you suggesting we do then?" Naruto asked.
Shikimaru put his fists down on the table.
"You, Jiraiya-sannin, and Kakashi-san will go to Hidden Sand and look for the Pervert Ninja."
Next Chapter - The Kazekage In Good Health! Naruto's Odd Sensation!