Chapter 15 – Fighting Without Chakra! Will I Really Defeat the Monster?

"You! I thought Ibiki-san…"

"OH IBIKI? I SEDUCED HIM WITH MY MAN-CHARM, AND HE LEFT ME WITH HIS CELL AND HOUSE KEYS. I'M TOO MUCH OF A PLAYA FOR KONOHA TO HANDLE, BABY."

"Hold on, I forgot to-"

"PREPARE TO EAT MY BLADE, PITIFUL FOOLS…NOBI NO JUTSU!"

The impact sent them flying like dolls. Naruto got to his feet weakly, just in time to see the imposing figure of Itadari towering over him.

"NOW IT'S JUST ME AND YOU…MAKE GOOD ON YOUR PROMISE!"

"But…uh…thing is…I don't have any chakra left so…"

"DO IT!"

Naruto shuddered. He didn't like the prospect of facing this monster…especially without any chakra left.

"How the hell am I supposed to do Kage Bunshin no Jutsu when I have no chakra!"

"FIND A WAY TO PLEASURE ME, OR ELSE I'LL CHOP YOU TO PIECES!"

"Okay, okay! Just gimme a sec…"

Naruto turned around and sat down cross-legged among the injured shinobi, thoughts racing through his head as he slowly recovered his chakra.

Think dattebayo, think! I need an opening…oh, what's the use…I'm just a loser like Neji always says I am…a useless loser, like those two large, round rocks over there………wait a second…

10 minutes later...

Itadari picked up his sword in one hand and the back of Naruto's collar in the other, seething.

"THAT DOES IT, I'M GOING TO END THIS ONCE AND FOR-"

"Hold on, Itadari-san," Naruto interrupted. "W-why do you like little boys like me so much?"

Itadari dropped him, stopping for a moment.

"THE QUESTION IS, WHAT DO I NOT LIKE! I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOUR PETITE FIGURES, YOUR SMOOTH, HAIRLESS CHESTS, YOUR-"

"But what if my lovely boy chest is like this!" Naruto turned around, displaying two large, bouncing objects under his shirt.

"AAAH! WHAT…W-WHAT ARE THOSE!"

"Would you like to see, mister?"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO!"

"Okay, I'll give you a little sample…" Naruto slowly pulled up his shirt.

"NOOOO!" Itadari covered his eyes and backed away from Naruto, tripping over himself in the process. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Now's my chance! thought Naruto."Rasengan!"

Though he had not recovered much chakra, the sphere blew Itadari nearly a quarter mile away. Naruto grinned and turned around…just in time to see Kakashi and Jiraiya running in his direction.

"So you two were watching me – pretty impressed eh, dattebayo!"

Kakashi suddenly grabbed Naruto by the collar.

"We're going back to Konoha…something horrible has just happened."

Next Chapter – Emergency in Konoha! The Pervert Ninja Within Our Grasp!