Steady, steady, and… "Ladies and gentleman, we have corn," House said triumphantly, holding a monstrous kernel in a pair of forceps. The satisfaction was short lived, as the kernel was followed by a tidal wave of green mucous.
"ACHOO," little thirteen month old Danny Kreider sneezed, spraying a fine mist of spit, snot and of course, nice plump boogers all over House's collar and worse yet, his face.
House closed his eyes for a second. "Could you hand me a tissue?" He said to the embarrassed mother. She handed him a handful, and he wiped off his face. "Okay, problem solved," he tried to smile.
"I can't thank you enough Dr. House," Mrs. Kreider said apologetically. "And I promise that I will watch him more carefully when he eats."
"Most toddlers go through a stage like this," House said. "You're just lucky it wasn't a contact lens." His pager went off. "And on that note," he got up stiffly. The mother nodded and smiled, taking her little blonde bundle of joy out the door.
"House, please come to exam room 7. A. Cameron." The message on the pager flashed again. Great, he thought.
He walked out of the exam room and headed down the hall. A lab coat clad figure materialized in front of him.
"Dr. House, where exactly do you think you are going?"
"Ahh. Dr. Cuddy. So like the proverbial bad penny. And how are you this morning?"
Cuddy blinked. House was almost, friendly? What the hell? "I believe I asked you a question." Her piercing blue eyes met his.
"You know what, I was doing my job, nice touch on sending me the corn-up-the-nose kid by the way, and I got called in for a consult. So now I have to go and be a doctor and stuff." He leaned on his cane.
"By whom, and it had better not be Wilson." Cuddy said sourly.
"Actually Dr. Cuddy, it was Dr. Cameron. And I doubt that she is calling me away to scope out some babe with a killer rack. Besides, that's why we have you." He smiled and took a deliberate glance at her cleavage.
Her eyes narrowed. "If it were anyone else, I'd say no. But considering that Cameron is one of the few people around here who seems to grasp the importance of clinic duty, then by all means, go be a doctor and stuff." She fixed him with an icy glare. "But be quick about it. You have patients."
"Yes Mommy" He whined, and continued past her down the hall.
Cuddy smiled to herself. He's not so bad lately. I'm glad Dr. Cameron decided to come back. She retreated down the corridor.
House got to the door of Exam Room 7 just as it opened, and Cameron came out. He looked at her with mild interest. "I assume this is good. Malaria? The bubonic plague? Leishmania?" His voice trailed off as he studied her face. She was pale.
"I was just coming to have you paged," Cameron said breathlessly.
"You didn't think I'd come." House stated flatly. "What is it?"
Her eyes were unreadable. "You just, you need to come in here and confirm my diagnosis."
"Do I need to get Wilson?"
"It's not," her voice broke. "It's not cancer. I just. I needed someone else to see this. Foreman and Chase were busy and they… well. Just come in."
House looked at her again and stepped into the exam room.
On the table sat a rather pretty girl, according to her chart she was nineteen years old. Her mother stood next to her. She saw Dr. House and smiled hugely. She was developmentally disabled.
He picked up the chart. "Becky Stevens," he said. She waved at him.
"I'm Becky's mother, Lynn." A rather attractive woman stepped forward to shake his hand. Cameron hovered in the background.
"What seems to be the trouble ladies?" Dr. House asked.
"Becky," Lynn Stevens said kindly, "tell the doctor what is bothering you."
"Ey ummy urt." Becky said rather forlornly.
House looked at her mother for clarification.
"Her tummy hurts," Lynn said apologetically. "I'm sorry. I forget that people who haven't been around Becky have trouble understanding her."
House nodded. "Can I ask what the origin of Becky's disability is?" He said carefully.
Lynn nodded. "Of course. She was…" she gestured with her hands. "She was deprived of oxygen at birth. The cord was wrapped around her neck." She looked down. "I know you doctors probably hate hearing about mistakes. But it was a medical error."
House looked at her with a mixture of pity and understanding. "I understand that doctors make mistakes," he said softly. He looked back and Cameron quizzically.
Cameron stepped forward. "I think it's a UTI, Dr. House," she said softly.
"And Becky has already given the nice nurses a sample," Lynn Stevens said smiling. "You were a big girl, right Becky? You went all by yourself."
"Ay myelf," Becky agreed.
"Well, Dr. Cameron seems to have everything under control," House said. He turned to look at her. Her eyes were pleading with him to stay. He gave her a questioning look, and turned to look at the chart. Something caught his eye.
"Mrs. Stevens, have you ever had Becky in for a pelvic exam?"
Lynn Stevens' eyes widened. "Why, no, I just. Oh my goodness. I never thought, well." She looked over at her daughter, who was looking intently at a poster of the human circulatory system on the wall. "I just, keep thinking that she's a child, you know."
House smiled. "I understand. Do you have any other children?"
"Yes, another daughter. She and Becky are ten months apart." She smiled. "Carolyn, does not share Becky's disability."
"I see," House looked at the chart again. "And I assume Becky has started menstruating by now."
"Oh yes, around thirteen or so." Lynn agreed.
"And her cycles are regular?" House asked.
"Well I, I guess. She tries to be independent you know. Wants to be like her sister."
House nodded. He looked over at Cameron, who stepped forward.
"Hi Becky," Cameron said. "I have to ask you. Do you know what a period is?" She smiled reassuringly at the girl.
"Es," Becky said nodding vigorously.
"And do you have your period every month?" Cameron asked.
Becky's brow furrowed with concentration. She looked up and Cameron and replied.
Cameron and House both looked at Lynn Stevens. "I'm sorry," Cameron said, "I didn't catch that."
Lynn smiled. "She said she didn't have her period yesterday."
The continued to look perplexed. Lynn offered further explanation. "Becky doesn't have a clear concept of time. Everything is either today, tomorrow, or yesterday. So yesterday means anything in the past."
Cameron nodded. "Becky, how many yesterdays since you've had your last period?"
Becky pondered the question. "Ete irfay," she said finally.
"Pete is her sister's boyfriend." Lynn said with a smile. "So Pete's birthday, was… let's see… about two and a half months ago."
"Two and a half months with no cycle," House said. He felt a faint wave of nausea. "And you didn't notice?"
"Well, no."
He looked at the history that Cameron had gathered. "It says here that she's been having abdominal pain. Mood swings, painful urination. Any nausea?"
Lynn's smile was starting to fade. "Nausea? I don't…" she looked at her daughter. "I don't understand."
"Has Becky been sick in the mornings?" Cameron said gently.
"Well, I leave for work before she gets up. Her sister stays with her in the mornings and after class. And we have a caretaker that comes in from hospice."
House turned to Becky. "Becky," he said gently. "Do you like Pete?"
Becky nodded. "Eet ice."
"Is Pete ever alone with you?" House said quietly.
"I don't understand what this is all about." Lynn Stevens said, discomfited.
"Dr. Cameron, please take Mrs. Stevens into the hallway for a second." House said softly.
"Please follow me Mrs. Stevens." Cameron said dully.
Lynn Stevens followed Cameron into the hallway. "Dr. Cameron, is my daughter seriously ill?"
Cameron's heart sunk. "Mrs. Stevens," she said softly. "There might be some complications. But I asked Dr. House in to be sure."
"Why can't I be in there with her?" She asked pleadingly.
"Dr. House feels that it might be more comfortable for Becky to answer some questions without you present."
"But he won't understand her," she said plaintively.
"He's going to conduct a pelvic exam. Draw some blood. All very routine things." Cameron said reassuringly.
"Well, that's fine," Lynn Stevens said softly. "She isn't sick is she?"
"No." Cameron said firmly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to speak to a nurse about your daughter's samples. Please take a seat. We'll get you in a few minutes."
Cameron walked over to the lab station. "Hi, Amy." She smiled as brightly as she could at one of the nurses. "Do you have a urine sample for a Becky Stevens?"
The nurse looked up. "I was just getting ready to transfer it to a tube. What's up?"
Cameron smiled at her again. "I need you to run a really quick test."
Cameron got Mrs. Stevens and walked back into the exam room. Becky was smiling, sitting in a chair now, and Dr. House was writing in her chart.
"Becky," Dr. House said softly. "Could you and Dr. Cameron go wait outside. I need to talk to your mom about a few things."
Becky jumped up and smiled. Cameron walked over to House with a small, covered plastic tray. He met her eyes and she nodded. Then, smiling brightly at Becky, she walked her out into the waiting room.
House sat down in a chair, holding the tray in his hand. Mrs. Stevens sat in front of him on the table apprehensively. He handed her the tray.
Lynn Stevens opened the tray and stared perplexedly at the contents. "I don't… I don't understand." She said finally.
House looked up at her. "It's a pregnancy test, Mrs. Stevens." He said quietly.
"I can see that. I don't understand."
House tightened his jaw. "This is going to be very hard for you. Your daughter Becky is pregnant."
Lynn dropped the tray, which crashed to the ground. "That isn't… that's not possible."
"You need to go home and call the police," House said steadily.
"The police? What?"
"I asked Becky if she was ever alone with Pete and she said, at least I think she said that when Carrie is studying Pete goes to the basement to play games with her."
"Carrie. Carolyn, my other daughter?"
"I guess. She said Pete gives her sodas. Sometimes the sodas make her very sleepy." He stared at her.
"What are you… oh my sweet Jesus. You don't think…" She burst into tears.
"I performed a pelvic exam. It's apparent that Becky has been sexually active." House felt his anger cresting in a wave. "It's apparent that your daughter's boyfriend is a son of a bitch who likes to date rape pretty girls because don't know any better."
Lynn Stevens sobbed.
"I am very sorry." House said somberly. "Now, you have to talk this over with your daughter. You can either choose to terminate the pregnancy, or have her carry it to term, and raise the child."
He stood up. Lynn Stevens stood up as well and flew into his arms sobbing. He held her awkwardly for a few minutes. "Go home, and call the police. That bastard needs to be locked up." He felt like he should be saying more, but was at a loss for words.
When Mrs. Stevens composed herself, she looked up at Dr. House. "Thank you," she said firmly. "Thank you and Dr. Cameron. I have to go home now. I need to make some phone calls." She walked out of the room. House collapsed back into the chair.
A few minutes later, a red-eyed Cameron walked into the room. House looked up at her. "What tipped you off?" He said.
Cameron shrugged. "Becky's mother said something about her having all these weird… cravings for food. Like on the way here she wanted a spicy bite from 7-11, even though she always hated them in the past. She thought Becky was just trying to imitate her sister." Her shoulders slumped. "What kind of sick son of a bitch would rape a girl who is mentally a three year old?"
House shook his head. "I don't… I don't even know. Sick fuck." He looked up at Cameron. "Cameron," he said hoarsely.
She looked at him with sad green eyes. "I need to go. I have to… I have to think. Thank you for coming House." And with that she turned and left the room.