Chapter Five
There is no Passion?
As the first rays of light penetrated the branches outside Jahita's window and shone upon his face he began to wake up. He yawned and stretched his entire body as he got up from his bed. He would have preferred to stay in the warm bed, but duty called – if he could put it that way. He scratched his back and yawned a second time. Och, perhaps I got a little too much of the Corellian ale last night. He hoped that it would not affect him for the rest of the day, but he admitted to himself that he would not be surprised if it would. He smiled. They sure had a nice time together last night, though. The quartet of Jedi had gone up on the roof of one of the temples and spent a great deal of time up there telling stories, as well as drinking what was left of Vrilas K'tor's bottle of ale. It was quite a task emptying the bottle with which Eyoul Gaad had been the only one not to drink from.
Jahita put one hand to his head. Okay, it doesn't hurt. That's a good thing, but it sure feels as if I'm walking on a jelly floor. He shook his head, trying to clear it. Perhaps a good meal and a lot of water would help. He began to put his clothes on. He sat down on one of the two chairs and noticed the purple gem, which was lying on the table.
No, Jahita, I don't think it's a good idea for you to build a lightsabre at this point. You have only just begun your training to become a Jedi, the words of Master Solusar echoed through his mind. He had been talking to the Jedi Master and asked him to teach him how to build a lightsabre. This was before he, Shiala, Eyoul and Vrilas had levitated the Z-95 into the hangar bay. For one reason or another, he had gotten the urge to build one of these ancient weapons, which had been the favoured weapon of the Jedi Knights. This urge, no, this passion had slowly crept upon him ever since he had found this little purple gem, which he saw come flying from the sky. Jahita chuckled. It sounded just like an extract from some ancient legend.
Why can't I build one? Why do I have to wait? he asked mentally. There is no passion; there is serenity, the Jedi teaching answered. He let out an almost silent outcry of anger. For some unknown reason I've grown impatient. He halted his thoughts. No, not unknown. If he said that, he would be lying to himself. He wanted to avenge all the people he had seen murdered and butchered in his dreams. Then perhaps their spirits would find rest. As would he – and the girl.
His thoughts were interrupted as his belly made the all too familiar sound when it wanted to be filled. "All right, all right, I'm going. Don't make a fuzz," he said as a smile appeared on his face. I'm really far out now – talking to my stomach and all. He chuckled and left the room.
After having knocked on the door of Eyoul Gaad's room and waiting for the Bith to come out, the two of them went to Vrilas' room – and after having knocked a dozen times, a tired and apparently exhausted man appeared in the door with his blond hair all around.
"Oi, mate, what did you do all night? Get thrown around by a gundark who held in your hair, or what?" Jahita grinned.
"You wish, kiddo," Vrilas grunted cheerfully.
"Well, I know how you feel," a voice said and yawned. It was Shiala Meno, who had popped up from around a corner.
"Hey, get away, you epidemic-carrier, your yawning is hazardous to all of us. Just look at poor Vrilas, you've already given him the illness. Oh, no, me too!" Jahita said and yawned, but barely managed to keep his mask.
"You wish, Hutt butt," Shiala giggled tired and slapped him lightly on the shoulder.
"I'll be right out," Vrilas said and stretched his muscles. "You just go ahead without me. If I'm not out in five minutes, consider me unconscious."
"As you wish, o man with hair all over his head as if it had been pulled by a gundark," Jahita boomed in a manner known for 'extra-polite' diplomats.
Vrilas chuckled sleepily and closed the slide door.
The three of them made their way to the dining hall. After fetching something for breakfast, they sat down by a table and awaited the arrival of Vrilas. Vrilas came just as the five minutes had passed. He put something on a plate and sat tired on the bench next to Shiala. In front of him sat Eyoul and Jahita.
"Remind me of not doing stuff like that again," Vrilas said as he rubbed his eyes.
"What?" Jahita said. "Levitating Headhunters?"
"Or do you mean emptying a bottle of Corellian ale almost by yourself?" Shiala continued.
"The latter," Vrilas said, covering his eyes with his hand. "Man, my head feels like it has been bitten off by a rancor, chewed on and then modelled back into a fashion that resembles my head, and then replaced."
Jahita chuckled. "I couldn't have said it better myself."
"Of course not. You don't have my head on your shoulders," Vrilas said with a smile.
Shiala giggled. "One point to Vrilas K'tor. So sorry, Jahita. If it continues this way, it'll be your head next time."
Jahita gave her a hurt look. "I thought you liked my head."
"Sure I do," Shiala quickly said. "I'm just not a rancor."
Jahita turned his eyes towards Eyoul and placed a hand on the Bith's shoulder, whispering in a very desperate manner, "What did I do to deserve this?"
"Uh huh, that's nice. Now would you please start eating before I stuff you with that ration-bar and feed you to a bantha?" Vrilas said and started to eat.
"Acknowledged," came the reply.
They began to eat.
"Why do you have to leave now?" Jahita said loudly. "Heck, you two are my best teachers, Master. Why must you head off to Coruscant right now?"
Kam Solusar sighed. "Listen, Krass, I won't lie to you. The Yuuzhan Vong are threatening the worlds of Agamar, Garqi and Dathomir. If they succeed in taking them, then Yavin Four is sure to be next on their menu."
"Then why the Ffib are you supposed to go to Coruscant? That's in the Core Worlds, not here in the Outer Rim where the threat is. Besides, haven't you made an illusion that protects the Academy?"
"I know that, Krass, but Luke – Master Skywalker asked us to come to Coruscant for a Jedi meeting."
"Then why shouldn't I go, too, then?" Jahita snarled.
"Because you're not a Jedi Knight yet, Krass, that's why," Kam replied calm.
"Well, I should be! I've been here for over a month now and I've learned a lot, and…"
The Jedi Master cut him off. "Patience, Krass! Patience!" He sighed heavily. "It doesn't take a month to become a Jedi Knight; it takes a heck of a lot of time. One basic thing a Jedi must learn is patience." He looked firmly at Jahita. "You used to be patient. I even noticed in the beginning of your training that you were holding yourself back from advancing too fast. What happened to you? What changed you? What took away your patience?"
Jahita looked the Jedi Master straight in the eyes. "The death of a girl and other people I've never known, killed by some foul beasts I've never seen, and for what? Just because she was in the way? Because they all were on the wrong side?" His breathing started to accelerate. "Why!" he yelled.
"I don't know, Krass!" Kam shouted. "You're not helping yourself or her for that matter! Be patient! Impatience is of the Dark Side!"
Jahita bit his lower lip. Anger swelled through him. He felt betrayed. Abandoned. "Why can't I just build a lightsabre and join the fight, then? Wouldn't it be great to have an extra warrior in your Order?" The volume of his voice had lowered.
"The Jedi aren't warriors; they are peace-makers, guardians," Kam said and sat down in his chair.
Jahita plumped into the chair that was behind him. Thousands of things went through his mind. He felt helpless, desperate. He wanted to do something. Just about anything. "What good will it do now, Master? You've already said that some planets have fallen into enemy hands. What good will peace-makers do now?"
Kam was not upset by the angry words of the young student. "Now you're sounding like Kyp Durron, Krass," he said calmly.
"Sithspit!" he snarled angry. "I don't want to hear that granitslug's name again!" An angry sound escaped Jahita's lungs as he rose and walked in circles. "I'm just so frustrated, Master. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I mean – uh…" He paused. "I've had a great time here, learning how to use the Force, making friends and stuff, but I want to make a difference." His breathing slowed down slightly. "I want to make a difference now."
Kam nodded and rose up from his chair. He walked over to Jahita, who had finally stopped his circling, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know, Krass, but the way you act has proven that you're not ready for such things yet."
The words 'not ready' rang in Jahita's ears and they had a bitter taste. "Emperor's black bones," he said and again plumped into the chair. His expression signalled a balance between despair and defeat. "What good am I when I can't help with anything?"
"Are you not helping your friends, Krass? Have you forgotten about them?" Kam said as he crouched beside him.
"I don't know – I – I don't know much about fixing old Headhunters, less about modifying them. I feel so useless, like I'm insignificant." He felt a lump in his throat. "Totally useless."
"Krass, don't give in to despair and depression. You're much more valuable than that."
Jahita looked at his Master. "How come?"
"Haven't you wondered why you are Force-sensitive?" Kam said calmly.
"Och, aye, of course I have."
Kam folded his arms. "And your opinion on the matter is?"
"I figured it had to be the…the will of the Force."
"Then why do you feel invaluable? Just because you can't go out and fight the bad guys?"
The last remark touched something within Jahita. He could remember when he first arrived at the Jedi Academy, how he and all the other students were gathered at the Grand Audience Chamber for an announcement. After Master Skywalker had talked a little, a kid had said, "We can be out fighting the bad guys." He remembered the others laughing or just smiling at the comment, as was Master Skywalker. He did not get it then, but now he had the same wish. He really wanted to go out there and fight the bad guys. Alas, he was not ready according to the man, whom he trusted so sincerely.
"Krass?"
"Oh, sorry, Master Solusar, I just lost my – my concentration." He coughed.
"And my question?"
"Huh?"
Kam sighed lightly and smiled. "You didn't answer my question. Why do you feel invaluable?"
Jahita looked at him and then turned his gaze towards the floor. "Because I felt that I'd done nothing of value."
"So, you're forgetting about your first test when you levitated a cup and landed it into your hand?"
"Uh, I…"
Kam did not wait for Jahita's answer and continued, "Or what about when you went to Tionne for a history lesson and recited all the lyrics of a song, even though you'd only heard them once?"
"Uhm…"
"Or what about when you, Shiala Meno, Eyoul Gaad and Vrilas K'tor lifted Shiala's Headhunter and placed it into the hangar bay?"
Jahita did not say anything. He knew there was more.
"What about our little trip into the jungle where you managed to make some piranha-bees believe that it was going to rain, thus dispersing them and ignore us? Surely you can't have forgotten about that, have you?" Kam smiled.
Jahita kept his silence, but could not resist the urge to smile, if not a little.
"And what about the test I gave you by letting Gaad ask you what you would say if I'd asked you to build a lightsabre?" Kam looked straight into his eyes.
But Jahita did not reply. He had lost his speech, but he finally understood. He bowed his head. "I understand, Master," he whispered.
"I'm glad you do, Jahita," Kam said and padded him on the shoulder. "I knew you would, because you've got some insight that I wish some other people had." His face made a slightly sad expression. He turned towards the table and walked over to it. After picking something up and placing it into his backpack, he turned towards Jahita again. "Don't worry, we'll be back."
Jahita nodded. "I know you will" – I can feel it. He smiled again.
"Besides, Tionne will stay here for another day or two, possibly more, so that you won't be so alone just yet." The Jedi Master shook Jahita's hand briefly. "Farewell, Jahita Krass. May the Force be with you."
"And with you, Master Solusar, and with you."
Jahita stood on top of the Great Temple and watched Kam Solusar fly away in his shuttle en route to Coruscant, the capital of the New Republic and Jahita's homeworld. He already missed his tutor – and even though they had had a talk about Jahita's wish to build a lightsabre and Kam tried to persuade him to wait, he still wanted to build one. But where do I get such information? I could ask Eyoul, perhaps even Shiala or Vrilas, but they'd probably try to talk me out of it. He sighed heavily and looked around him. Everywhere there was jungle and a few temples sticking out of the green horizon. Temples. He suddenly noticed the lone temple quite far from the Academy. It was the same one he had seen when he and his class had been on a trip into the jungle. Again, he felt drawn to it in some mystical way. He felt an urge to go there and explore it. The young Jedi stood for a moment pondering on what to do. Should I go? Should I ignore it and stay?
He made his decision and jumped down from the roof. He slowed his descent using the Force, stopping only a brief moment on each step of the large ziggurat before landing securely at the base of it. He tapped on the Force and jumped onto one of the trees nearby. He continued from one branch to the other, from one tree to the other. Just like Master Skywalker's morning exercises, he mused.
How long have I wandered? Hmm, must have been nearly an hour or so, he thought as he halted on top of a tree. The only thing he knew for sure was that his muscles were tired of jumping. He decided to descend to ground level and continue on foot. Occasionally he jumped up into one of the trees to check if he was on course. From time to time, he ran into some animals, but always managed to make them ignore him or chase them off with the aid of the Force.
Ffib, it's hot! He panted and stopped for a while. Why, o why didn't I bring some water with me? Perhaps this was all a mistake. He then noticed that the top of the lone ziggurat towered above the tree line. He felt the curiosity return and started to walk again. Well, I made it so far. Wouldn't hurt checking it.
After a few metres, he reached a clearing and finally got a close look of the ziggurat. It was a ruin. The temple was almost totally destroyed by either time or something that had bombarded it. Upon closer inspection, it seemed to him that it had taken some hits from a turbolaser or something of that magnitude. Details of history appeared in his mind. This is another of the temples, which Exar Kun built, or something like that. He remembered that Kyp Durron had met the spirit of the Dark Lord in one of these. Nevertheless, even though the Dark Lord of the Sith was gone for good, Jahita felt certain that the place had a taint of evil still lurking around. He went closer to the rubble of the ziggurat. Even though it had been blown up, it still had some features of a ziggurat, which could fool anyone to think that it was whole.
After looking more closely, Jahita noticed an opening between the broken walls. He was glad to find out that he had brought a portable glowlamp with him, so he ventured in through the gap and looked around. It was dark and filled with moisture. Small ponds were almost everywhere and it was cold, so cold. Jahita pulled the zipper all the way up to his throat, but even that did not help. Some markings on a wall caught his attention. Upon closer inspection, he saw that the markings were some kind of hieroglyphs, but he could not read them. He searched his pockets for the translator-module he had used so often at home in Coruscant. He had forgotten it in his room.
Anger filled him and smacked his hands on the walls. "Sithspit!" he cried out. It was then he noticed that some pictures accompanied the hieroglyphs – depictions of warriors holding fiery blades. Lightsabres.
"And I just had to forget my translator-module." He again smacked the wall and sighed angrily. He looked at the wall again – he suddenly understood something of it. The hieroglyphs seemed to shine with a dark blue colour and unfold themselves into understandable words.
"What the Ffib…?" he said in surprise. Then his curiosity took over and he began to read.
Vrilas was torn out of his nap as someone knocked on his door continuously. He rubbed his eyes. The knocking continued relentlessly.
"Hey, don't knock your hands through the door!" he said irritated. "I'm coming!" He opened the door. "Oh, hi, Eyoul. What do you want?" He then noticed that Eyoul's face had a worried expression – a very worried expression. "What's the matter?"
"Have you seen Jahita?" he said and looked into the room, as if hoping that he was in there.
"Uh, no, not since Master Solusar left." He paused. "Have you looked in the library?" Eyoul entered and walked in circles in the room. Vrilas closed the slide door. "Okay," he said, "I guess he isn't there, either."
"No, he isn't there. He's not in his room; not in the Grand Audience Chamber; not in the dining hall. I've even looked for him on the roofs of the temples. I can't feel his presence here at the Academy."
"Don't worry; he probably went for a walk in the jungle or something like that." He placed a hand on Eyoul's shoulder and gestured him to sit down. "He's a big boy; he can take care of himself."
"It's not that, Vrilas," he said with a nervous tone in his voice. "There's something wrong. I can feel it. There's something bad going on and I know it involves Jahita."
"Okay, hold it, hold it." Vrilas pulled a chair sat down in front of him. "Listen, I have barely begun to know Jahita, but when I make friends I tend to stick to the friendships I've made. Especially after having some drinks with them." He caressed his forehead a little, remembering his hangover. "Don't you worry; I'll help you look for him, okay?"
Eyoul nodded. "Thank you, Vrilas."
"Now, please relax. You're making me nervous acting like this. You always seem that calm, you know. Seeing you like this, heck, it's close to scaring me," Vrilas grinned.
Eyoul could not help letting out a chuckle. "In that case, I trust you know what you're talking about." He suddenly paused. His eyes seemed to stare at something, but Vrilas was not able to pinpoint the location. A smile erupted on his face. "I can sense him," he said slowly. "He's back from wherever he's been." He rose and left the room.
"You're welcome," he said and leaned back in the chair.
"Won't you be coming?" Eyoul's head popped into the room.
Vrilas almost jumped up by surprise. "Emperor's black bones! Don't ever do that again!" he shouted and felt how his heart was pounding fast.
"My apologies," Eyoul said, hinting a faint smile. "Come now, Vrilas."
"Okay, okay! I'm coming!" He rose. "Barving lunatic," he mumbled as he grabbed his jacket, went out, closed the door and hurried down the corridor in an effort to catch up with the Bith.
As soon as they got outside they met Jahita, who was all sweaty and a little bruised from occasional branches he had run into, but he did not look like he was hurt or anything.
"Where've you been, kiddo?" Vrilas asked.
"Uhm, just a walk in the jungles. I – uhm – just wanted to be alone for a little while. That's all." He smiled.
"Well, you could have told us," Eyoul said and patted Jahita on the shoulder. "Braving the jungle can be rather hazardous.
Vrilas nodded. "Sure is."
"If I did tell you, would you have let me go all alone?" Jahita said with a grin.
"That depends," Vrials said and smiled.
"On what?"
"How good you are at persuading us." He chuckled.
"Riiight," Jahita simply replied, but in a funny manner. "However, I don't have any Corellian ale, or whiskey, for that matter."
"I sure hate to interrupt you guys, but since you're all here now, why don't we use our spare time in working some more on the Headhunter?"a familiar voice uttered behind them. It was Shiala, dressed in a work jumpsuit with grease spots scattered across it. In her hand she held some sort of tool. "If it's not too much trouble?" she added, smirking.
"No, no, not at all, but if you wouldn't mind, I would appreciate if I just could clean myself a little bit before I get all greasy," Jahita said and moved slowly towards the entrance.
"Okay, but hurry, all right?" Shiala said and started to walk backwards to the hangar bay.
"You won't even notice that I'm gone," Jahita replied and started to run into the temple.
Vrilas turned towards the hangar bay and walked up beside Eyoul as they followed Shiala. "See, there was nothing to worry about." He clasped his hands together and rubbed them a bit. "Now, let's fix us a Headhunter."
Eyoul smiled as only a Bith can, but it was a false one. Deep inside of him, something told him that not everything was all right. He could sense something – a sense of wrongness. He could feel it. It seemed to come from Jahita. But what is the cause of it? he thought.
The cold of the night did not bother Jahita, as he sneaked down the corridors of the temple, which contained the library wherein there were stored many valuable books and other scriptures concerning the Jedi Order – including instructions on how to build a lightsabre. This Jahita knew after having tried to look through many of the books on the occasions he was there for a history lesson. He had managed to keep his concentration, though the ever-pressing hunger for building a lightsabre often popped up in his mind. And now with Kam Solusar in Coruscant for some Jedi meeting, Tionne had taken over Kam's class. He did love those hours of hearing and learning the story of the Order, though – he was still the youth, who was a bookworm. When looking through the books there, he had stumbled upon this particular book, which explained in details how the lightsabre could be built.
Hadn't it been for Shiala, I wouldn't understand half of it. He smiled for himself. Finally, I can get to work. He took forth a special datapad of his, which contained a camera. With it, he took a picture of every page – he did not want to risk being caught with the book in his room. The idea of seeing Tionne hurt would be too much for him. Actually, he now tried to avoid hurting anybody. The image of the dying people in his nightmare still affected him – especially the girl.
A sudden commotion nearby alerted him of the presence of someone coming into the library. Sithspawn! Luckily he remembered what he had learned in class – how to quiet your mind and make yourself invisible in the Force. He inhaled deeply and let the air come out very slowly. Not a sound escaped him. He was totally still.
A figure walked over to a table and turned on a glowlamp, but did not notice Jahita, who was hiding behind a shelf filled with books. He risked a glance and recognised the person to be Tionne. Perhaps she has felt my presence here. He swallowed hard and felt sweat appearing on his forehead, but Tionne only fetched a book, turned off the glowlamp and left the room. Jahita sighed in relief, but maintained his concentration. He reached out with the Force and felt Tionne's presence moving further and further away.
She didn't notice me. Good. Now back to business. He used the datapad to take another picture and a second one. He had gotten what he came for. A smile went across his face. Now he only needed to find the components. That won't be hard, but I had better do it tonight, while I'm at it. He walked out of the library and down the hall, while looking at the information gathered in his datapad. Hmm, let's first get a power source. I'll bet something is at the hangar. He suppressed a chuckle. Almost too easy. He shook his head. No! Never underestimate anything! Anyone could pop up at anytime. I have to be careful.
He made his way to the hangar bay and picked up the necessary components. They were all there – it was easy enough. Now for a metal cylinder large enough for this stuff. He decided to visit his shuttle. Perhaps I'll find something there. He turned around to find it. It was in the hangar somewhere, for sure. Since the entire hangar bay was very dark and he was only equipped with a small portable glowlamp, it was not easy finding the darn thing, but the Force helped him, though.
He turned on the lights inside the small spaceship and started to look around for a metal cylinder, which could be useful. If only I could find anything in this piece of junk! He snarled angrily and occasionally smacked a hand into the floor, which he crawled on, trying to see if anything useful was underneath the control panels. Sithspit! Nothing…
He rose and smacked his head into the pilot-seat, which he had not noticed. "BY THE FFIB!" he cried out and hauled the chair up from its place, though it had been securely bolted into place several years ago. The chair was thrown down on the floor again. He breathed heavily and looked puzzled at the chair. I just pulled a chair up from the deck, with bolts and everything. He looked at his hands. Wow!
He then noticed that the chair had several small pipes, which were at the base. They were actually a kind of cylinders. Jahita smiled. That'll do nicely. He crouched and pulled one of the cylinders loose – violently. Just the right size. Excellent. Now I can get down to business. He grinned almost silently and walked out of the shuttle.
After making his way to his room and sitting down by the table. He tapped on the Force and started the delicate 'operation'. All the tools had been acquired before he went for the instructions and the components. He managed to open the cylinder with an adamant-cutter – a very delicate cutting tool, which he had inherited from his father. What his father had used it for, he did not know. Actually, now he did not bother wondering – he was too busy in making it right. He sure as heck did not want to go down to his shuttle again and pick another of these metal pipes. The cylinder was held firmly in place as he carefully cut through its metal body. A nice long square was removed, but not thrown away – it would serve as a lid.
However, he would still need to open the whole thing to put all the components into place. The lid would serve as a doorway to the precious purple gem, if a new gem ever should replace it. Jahita hoped that it would not be the case in the future, but he still loved to look at the beautiful stone, which he had had in his pocket every single day since he found it. The procedures were slow, but rewarding. He finally managed to figure out how to get his power source in place. Luckily, the cylinder doesn't lack space. He dried the sweat off his brow. Now came the most difficult part, which would crave his uttermost concentration. He should put the purple gem into place.
All right, my beauty, now I'll put you in to your permanent lair. He opened himself to the Force and drew strongly upon it. The Force flowed into him like a raging sea – a sea that could smash anything in its wake. Power of unseen heights filled him up. He almost felt one with the universe – and though this sense of omnipresence filled him, he managed to keep his concentration on the task of placing the gem into the correct alignment. This would ensure that the energy blade would not detonate an explosion, which could be fatal in the worst cases. He closed his eyes and looked with the eyes of the Force. What he saw, he could not explain. He had never seen anything like it. Several images flashed before his eyes, which meant nothing to him, though he occasionally recognised himself and saw flashes of Eyoul, Shiala and Vrilas, as well as Kam Solusar and Master Skywalker. He tried to ignore them, but he felt a voice crying within him, as if warning him of impending doom or something terrible.
He snarled angrily and forced himself to focus on his objective. The gem slowly descended into its chosen resting place. He quickly found the correct alignment and put on the lid after having fastened the gem securely. A lock had already been made, so that the lid would not leave its position.
Jahita rose from his chair. He dried the sweat off his face and prepared for the final test. His right thumb went slowly down the hilt, which he had covered with leather, taken from the pilot seat in his shuttle, which had been so violently ripped up from the deck. He heard the button make an almost silent sound of being turned on.
Snap hiss! A bright purple energy blade came to life. Its middle was light while the surrounding and dominant colour was purple, while a thin white stripe made the borders of the energy blade. It gave the room a pleasant purple colour as Jahita turned off the glowlamp.
Finally! He was filled with pride and great expectation. Now for the next step…
He suddenly began to tremble all over his body. Sithspit! I'd forgotten about what happened the last time I let the Force flow so strongly through me. Jahita quickly turned off his newly constructed lightsabre and hid it in one of the drawers. He staggered towards his bed and plummeted into it. The tiredness of having the Force completely filling him up was almost unbearable. After a few puny attempts to cover himself with his blanket, he gave in to the tiredness and fell into a mixture of dreams and nightmares, which all seemed to try and warn him of something, but they were too far fetched and too strange that he could not interpret them. He only knew that something was to happen in the near future, but an answer for what was to come eluded him.