Well, my dear readers, I have decided to torture you (and Meg) no longer and finally gave in to posting this chapter. I will warn you, however, that the next chapter might take a while because there are some things that I want to space out and, as you know, I'm not good with writing in-between stuff, so it might take a little longer for me to think of some decent stuff to write. This will mean that the next chapter might not be as good as the stuff I've posted recently, but what will come after that should be able to make up for it.
Review Replies:
Moonjava: Yay! You returned! I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much! Thanks for your review!
ThePhantomsShadow: I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much. And I wholeheartedly agree with you about torture, though I know that I was kind of cruel (especially to Meg) with the last chapter.Getting back to your question, I am 16 years old.Thanks for your review and here is the update!
Aronoded: Yes, I know that was evil, but I'll make up for it with this chapter. I'm glad you love my story so much. This was actually one of my fastest updates ever. I felt bad about what I did to Meg so I decided to make it up to her and well ended up finishing this chapter in one night. I surprised myself. I hope you like this one!
Little Ballet Rat: Yes, I know that was cruel. I'm sorry. I hope you like this chapter. It should make up for the lack of making out in the last one. Also, I wanted to tell you that I love your one-shot "She's no Christine". It was so cute and the e/m love just warmed my heart.
littledaae323: Oh my goodness! I never knew that I had such an adoring phan as you! I can't believe that you have been reading this since I posted it! (huggles) I'm so happy that you reviewed! Of course I forgive you! As for the reviews, ya, I wish that there were more, but this is the most I've ever gotten before. I know that when my first story (and the only other one I've written) reached 50 I was like YAY! And your little broadcast was greatly enjoyed.
Nameless Waif: Haha, yes, torture if fun, but to be honest, I could never actually kill something. I like your plan for family reunions. I would do that too, but my mom has a tendency to drag me to see people that I don't really know. And it would be cool if you could disappear into the walls. That would be very Eriklike. I'm glad you caught on to that little pose thing too, because that was definitely what I was thinking of. And I'm glad you liked my embarrised Erik. He is cute when he blushes. That's kinda how I wanted things to go for that part. And I like your theory. Erik did realize that he was getting carried away (though Meg certainly didn't mind) and also he just kinda chickened out all together. And you will also see later why he chooses not to seduce her, at least, not yet. Omg you're right! (huggles for being my ninetieth reviewer!) And you really wouldn't mind if I found out your identity? YAY! Don't worry, I won't tell. Because I seriously will drive myself mad trying to figure out who you are. Go to my profile for my email because every time I try to put it on here, it insists on making the whole page bold and it is making me mad.
charity: I know that was evil, but I'm glad you still liked it! Thanks for your review and here is your update.
A Porcelain Victoria: Yay!A new reviewer! I'm glad you like my story! I like Meg a lot too, it's a shame they don't have that much about her in the musical and/or movie. Though I think that her attraction to Erik is hinted a bit when she finds the mask at end but sadly, they end it there. Thanks for your review!
HPROXMYSOX: Yay! I'm glad you did think of those things. That was what I was hoping for. I'm so glad you like my story so much and that you think its like a real romance novel! That just makes my day! Thanks for your review!
Disclaimer: I don't own POTO or the little song that Erik sings.
10. Kiss me too Fiercely
For the longest time I laid on my bed, stairing at the ceiling, watching the reflection of the water dance across it. My thoughts wandered where they wished, occassionally drifting to that almost-kiss. I couldn't stand it! I rolled over, plunging my head into the pillow, trying to knock the memory out of my head, or at least make it leave me alone. I almost wanted to forget it. Remembering the way I had felt when I had been so close to him then the frustration of it being ripped away was driving e to the edges of my sanity. I had to do something, anything to stop the memory from plaguing me endlessly, and lying here wasn't going to fix anything.
I rolled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen to find something to eat. On my way there, I passed Erik's door. I stood there, looking at it.
'Just knock and ask him if he wants something to eat.'
'No! Are you crazy!'
'No, butyou must be if you are talking to yourself. Look,it's not that hard. Just knock and ask him.'
I moved a bit closer to the door.
'Come on, don't you want to see those pretty blue eyes again? He might even let you in.'
'Are you crazy! That coffin isn't big enough for two people!'
'HA! So you admit it! You do want to seduce him! Looks like little Meggy hasn't changed that much after all!'
'No! I'm not a whore! I stopped being one a long time ago!'
'Fine! Just knock!'
With a deep breath, I rasied my hand, fighting whether or not it should make contact with the door.
'JUST DO IT!'
'I... can't.'
My hand dropped as I sighed to myself. I really was losing it. How bad was it if I was already talking to myself, let alone losing an argument with me? I sighed again. This really was driving me insane. I wondered if Erik happened to have any liquor.
I went into the kitchen, searching the pantries until I came across some bread, cheeze, and coincidentally, a bottle of wine. I took my findings with me, making a picnic for myself. After a few bites, I was beginning to get thirsty. I uncorked the bottle. I had never tried any kind of liquor before. This ought to be interesting. I took a sip and instantly my mouth puckered. It tasted sour. But at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to drown out everything in alcohol for a while. I could manage to deal with the taste and escape the voices in my head and that damned memory. It didn't seem too bad. I raised the bottle to my lips...
'No,' I thought. I wouldn't go that low. I wouldn't lower myself to the level of those drunken bastards I had been forced to seduce. I was beyond that.
On my way back to my room, I found myself looking at Erik's door again. Why couldn't I find the courage to talk to him? I knew that I would have to do it soon, but I was still too weak.
So yet again I found myself stairing mindlessly at the ceiling, fighting with myself whether or not I should just bite the bullet and do it. This just couldn't go on. I was slowly loosing my sanity from wanting Erik and I knew it. 'Please maman,' I prayed, 'Teach me to be brave and strong like you were. Teach me to love him like I should.'
In the silence of the cavern, a souldn, crystal clear and haunting like the coo of a mourning dove quietly resounded throughout the lair. I had never heard something so beautiful, so pure in my entire life. I tiptoed down the stairs with extreme care, trying to be as silent as humanly possible. I crept around the corner to find Erik sitting on the shore. It seemed as though the sound was coming from him, yet how could he sing with a vioce so pure and angelic that even God's most perfect angel could not produce a sound that could compare to Erik. As I moved a bit closer I was just able to pick up the lyrics, with words that made my heart melt and caused my soul to weep along with my eyes.
"And in my twisted face,
there's not the slightest trace
of anything to even hint at kindness.
"And from my tortured shape,
no comfort, no escape.
I see, but deep within is utter blindness.
Hopeless,
as my dream dies.
As the time flies,
love, a lost illusion.
Helpless, unforgiven.
Cold and driven to this sad conclusion.
"No beauty could move me
no goodness improve me.
No power on earth, if I can't love her.
No passion could reach me,
no lesson could teach me
how I could have loved her
and make her love me too.
If I can't love her, then who?
"Long ago, I should have seen
all the things I could have been.
Careless and unthinking, I moved onward!"
Suddenly the song stopped and a few tears fell down Erik's cheek. 'Oh no, don't cry Erik,' I begged silently. It was breaking my heart. I wanted to comfort him, to love him, yet something was still holding me to my hiding place. The way he had sang so reverently made me realize that he was praying. I was ready to asnwer it too, until he rose, facing the lake, his eyes bent heavenward, belting out his prayer.
"No pain could be deeper!
No life could be cheaper.
No point anymore, if I can't love her!
"No spirit could win me!
No hope left within me,
hope, I could have loved her and that she'd set me free.
"But it's not to be.
If I can't love her,
let the world be done WITH ME!"
The last pleading note reverbrated through the walls, the last verse shaking me deeply. 'Oh Erik, don't believe that. Don't give up on me. I love you!' I watched from my hidng spot with tears streaming down my face as he sank back to the ground, hisvisible cheekglistening from weeping. I wanted to wipe his tears away so badly, or better yet, kiss them all away. Yet as he sat there, he let his head fall into his hands and I heard him whisper a prayer.
"Please dear God, I know you have not listened to the pleas of a demon before, but just this once... Oh God in heaven, let me love here, please have mercy and let me love her. Don't rip her away. I can't live if you take her away.Just once, let this monster learn to love! Please, just once, let her love me."
I put my hand over my mouth to stifle my sob. The bittersweetness of his words was overwhelming. I counld't hide any longer. I got up slowly moving away from my spot. As soon as Erik saw me, he made a hasty retreat to his room. 'Oh no you dont!'
I caught him by the arm and instantly he spun around, his questioning, tear-glazed eyes hitting me full force.
"Erik... I"
"No Meg, no. I won't, I can't. I can't lose again. Please." He started to turn away, but I grabbed both of his hands, feeling myself shake as I held onto him.
"Erik, you are not alone. I heard your song and... Oh God, how do I explain this. You mean so much to me; your voice, your eyes, your face, your heart, your soul, you. There is just something about you that I can't escape. Something that draws me to you. Something." I took a deep breath. This was it. "Something... that makes me love you."
His eyes flashed with surprise and I felt his hands suddenly grow cold and tremble.
"But Meg, I'm such a monster. How can an angel of dance like you possibly love a demon like me?"
Hmm, angel of dance, I liked that. "Because you aren't a demon Erik. You are the kindest, most loving man I have ever known. You have such a beautiful soul Erik, I just wish that you could see that."
I noticed that more tears had begun to fall from his sapphire eyes and I couldn't bear it.
"Erik, please don't cry my love," I said, drawing him into a tight embrace. Somehow he was making me stronger and weakening me at the same time. "Please, please don't cry." Yet as I held him I found that I could not stop my own tears.
With slight hesitation, I raised my mouth to his cheek, gently kissing it, tasting his salty yet soft skin, intermingling my tears with his own. I pulled back, reaching up to unmask his other cheek, yet Erik's firm grip caught me. I silently pleaded, trying to let him know that I loved him justthe way he was, without a disguise. At last he released me and I peeled the mask away, showering his face in kisses and tenderly tracing the ridges of the deformity with my lips. I went lower, coming in contact with the corner of his mouth. Oh God, his lips were so soft soft and warm like a rose and I wanted them so badly.
With my heart ready to beat out of my chest, I pulled him into a kiss. I gasped against his mouth. His lips were so soft and perfect, it was almost sinful to kiss him. We broke away for a moment, still trying to adjust to the feel of this new sensation. Erik looked at me with eyes that could outshine the stars.
"Oh God, I love you so much!" Erik whispered in a broken voice.
"I love you too," I managed to say before he claimed me with his upper lip and tongue. I moaned against his mouth and instanly his tongue darted out and danced a wicked tango with my own. He then released my mouth, instead kissing the tear tracks on my cheeks.
"Erik," I breathed, unable to say that glorious name enough. "Erik, Erik, Erik!"
I jumped into his arms, kissing him ardently and I felt us spinning, his cloak and my dress billowing around us, then falling, falling, until SPLASH!
Freezing cold water was suddenly soaking every inch of me. I sputtered and coughed and thankfully Erik pulled me to my feet. The temperature of the room had dropped considerably now that I was so wet. I looked up at my beloved and both of us blushed from getting so carried away.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"No, it's alright. I didn't mind," he added coyly. "You'd better change before you catch a cold. I'll make a fire."
I scurried back to my room, desperate to find some nice, warm clothes. I hastily changed out of my wet ones and put on a pretty powder blue nightgown before going to Erik, finding him in a small room with some large cushions covering a persian carpet and a fireplace. Erik had already changed into asome rather becoming black silk pajamas and was working on a roaring fire. I was starting to feel a little warmer already.
Erik reclined on the pile of cushions and I snuggled up next to him, very content. He leaned down, placing a chaste kiss on my lips, yet immediately desire for more flooded me. In a flash, I had deepened the kiss, sliding my tongue into his mouth and pulling him down on top of me onto the soft cushions. My hands began to search for the buttons of his shirt, but Erik broke away.
"Not yet Meg," he whispered softly with a twinkle in his eye. "We will, but not yet."
WIth a twinge of disappointment, I settled down again by his side, resting my head against his chest and listening to his heart. I looked up at Erik as his eyes met my gaze and he smiled lovingly, kissing my forhead and drawing me closer. Between the warmth from the fire and Erik's own warmth, sleep was too inviting to resist. I gave in, finding it to be one of the most comfortable nights I had ever known.
Well, now I have ceased to torment you. I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter, cuz I certainly enjoyed writing it. And, as Erik has stated, don't worry, they will, um, get together fairly soon.
(a/n) Erik's little song was taken from the broadway version of Beauty and the Beast. The song is called "If I Can't Love Her" and has got to be one of my favorite songs from that show, so, I couldn't resist!