Chapter 20 - Returning Old Favors! The Super-Dynamic Explosive Conclusion to Part II!
The Hyuuga Household 4:45 pm
"Going on another mission?"
"…?"
"Then why are you packing up?"
"Neji-kun…"
"No no, it's fine with me…have fun on your secret mission that you won't tell anyone about, even your own cousin…I'll just stay at home and use Byakkugan while our neighbors are showering…."
"Neji-kun!"
"Uh, what did you say Neji?"
"Oh sorry Naruto, didn't see you there…if you heard anything perverted by chance, it came from Hinata-chan-"
"NEJI-KUN!"
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The Haruno Household 5:00 pm
"Hey Sakura, dattebayo dattebayo! Look at me, I'm sooo cool-"
"Silence, Naruto. You're not handsome or sexy enough to say such things."
"Ohhh, Sasuke! I love you so much…will you go out with me?"
"Let me think over that offer while I take off my shirt, Sakura."
"Dattebayo, dattebayo! Sasuke is a total loser dattebayo!"
"Gaton: Goukakyou no Jutsu!"
"OWWW! My butt's on fire, I should stop being such an ass, dattebayo!"
"Now that Naruto's out of the way…did you want to tell me something, Sakura?"
"Oh Sasuke…will you please have hot sex with me?"
"Well, I cannot resist your perfect body…I guess I have no choice but to commence humping."
"Oh Sasuke-mmphmph…that's the spot…"
"…this is what I've always wanted, Sakura…MMPH…yeah…"
"…mmmphhSasuke, am I making you horny?"
"…oh Sakura…you are guilty of that crime…again and again…"
-KNOCK KNOCK-
"MOM? WHAT THE HELL!"
"Stop playing with your dolls Sakura, someone's at the door looking for you."
"DAMNNARUTO I'M GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU!"
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Ichiraku Ramen 5:15 pm
-SLURP-
Naruto, Sakura, and Hinata sat at the ramen counter sipping their noodles…or wolfing them down in Naruto's case.
"Hehe, sorry for bringing you here early…I haven't eaten anything yet. Plus, I need a head start on my ramen…Kyuubi has to get his share, dattebayo! "
"T-that's okay…N-Naruto-kun," replied Hinata shyly. She was barely touching her bowl, thinking of the thousands of ways she could embarrass Naruto by simply lifting her chopsticks.
"Hey Sakura-chan, eat up!"
She stared sourly at her noodles.
"I'm not hungry."
-SLURP-
"Hehe, this isn't about those dolls your mom told-"
Sakura suddenly picked him up by the collar with one hand, a readied fist in the other.
"Don't you DARE…mention that AGAIN! UNDERSTOOD?"
Naruto whimpered.
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Ichiraku Ramen 5:45 pm
-SLURP-
"Are we DONE eating, Naruto?"
"Sakura-chan, I am appalled! This is just my 147th bowl."
"For the love of…just hurry the hell up!"
"I-it's okay Naruto-kun…I'll w-wait for-"
"Say Hinata-chan?"
"Y-yes, Naruto-kun?"
"Why were you getting ready for this mission so early? You must be really good at mission preparations! Uh…Hinata-chan?"
Sakura waved a hand in front of her face.
"I think her face is about to explode."
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Ichiraku Ramen 6:30 pm
"Jeez…Naruto, just stop – we're already over our meeting time."
-SLURP-
"She's right, Naruto…I think you're taking advantage of our all-you-can-eat offer."
"Hey manph, jus do the damnph cookingph, okayph?"
"…"
-SLURP-
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Ichiraku Ramen 7:15 pm
"Ohhh…I don't feel so good…"
"Yeah, that's what happens when you eat 350 bowls of ramen, Naruto."
"And…even worse…all that soup…is taking its toll…"
Sakura raised an eyebrow as Hinata continued to stare at Naruto, mortified.
"What's your point, Naruto?"
"I need to take a major dump…but I can't move…so, naturally…"
"There's NO way in hell I'm carrying you to a bathroom, Naruto."
"Okay then…I guess I'll…just have to…soil my pants…"
"FINE FINE! Excuse us a minute, Hinata-chan. Jeez…"
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Outside Konoha public restroom 7:18 pm
"THERE…I'm not going in, and I sure as hell ain't carrying you back."
"Thank you…Sakura-chan…"
She cast him one last scathing look and stormed back to the Ramen shop.
"Stupid doll-lover…hehe."
Naruto opened the door gratefully.
"What the-"
He froze. Directly on the other side was a tall figure completely clad in black robes.
"YOU!"
The dark figure immediately climbed out the window and sped off into the night.
"HEY! Get the hell back here! Aw crap…not at a time like this…"
With all his energy, he left his bathroom desires and chased after him. As they blew past the Ramen shop, he motioned to Hinata and Sakura and the three of them continued to pursue the mysterious black-clad stranger through Konoha and beyond. They leapt through the forests, across the meadows, over the brooks…until the black-clad man finally stopped.
DONG-DONG-DONG-DONG-DONG!"Fool! You have run into Jiraiya the Horny, and in the middle of his late-night spying on walking women no less. Now reveal yourself, Pervert Ninja, and tell me your secrets!"
Sakura smacked her forehead.
"You and Naruto are so stupid! LOOK! He has no hat, he's not very out-of-shape…he doesn't fit the profile."
"As expected of you, Sakura," the man in black replied. He took off his robes, revealing a flak jacket underneath.
"Iruka-sensei!"
"Hello, Naruto."
"You escaped! But…why did you run away from me?"
"Because you would've made a loud fuss and waken up half of Konoha."
The others nodded in agreement.
"We know you're innocent, Iruka-san," said Jiraiya. "You simply don't have any talent for perversion."
Iruka smiled.
"While it's great to see you all, I'm afraid I must go off by myself."
"Like hell you will, dattebayo!"
"But Iruka-sensei!" Hinata was on the verge of tears. "You didn't do anything wrong, and we should prove it! You didn't have to break the law by escaping out of jail!"
"I'm sorry Hinata, but others in Konoha don't share your view…and more importantly, I had to break out and discover who this man really is before he is able to unleash his mayhem yet again."
"The Chuunin exam?"
"Right, Sakura…I will not let him harm my village, no matter what. Many leaf ninja are lowering their guard now that they think the culprit has been caught. If I had stayed in that cell, Konoha would be too complacent for the inevitable strike."
"Well, folks," Jiraiya butted in. "I hate to cut into our sweet reunion of sorts, but any moment now, we're all going to be chased by a horde of leaf ninja, so I suggest we get moving."
"Where will we go, Ero-sennin?"
"Let's try one of my 'information spots' first, Naruto."
The others groaned, but they knew staying wasn't going to help. The ninja took off into the night, collectively hoping that perhaps one day, they would be seen not as once missing-nin who abandoned their village, but as its saviors.
End of PART II
A note from the writer:
Looks like midterms were a bigger pain in the ass than I thought, so to punish myself forgetting this up a day late, I've written another sidechapter to bore your mind before I start Part III. Enjoy
Next Chapter: Sidechapter2 – Akatsuki Challenged? A Worthy Rival!