Yay!  Here's the next chapter finally!  This story just keeps getting longer, it just amazes me.  Thanks to all reviewers- I hit 200 reviews!! 

CharcoalCat- Mmm… Bakura in nothing but crepe paper… drool

TaleneIsMyYami- I love what you said in your review.  Thank you.

Digimagic-  What do I think of puppyshipping?  Well, it's not my favorite pairing, but I like it when written well, but most of the stories are so stereotypical that it just gets old after awhile. 

Amarin Rose- Oh God, I wouldn't kill Yami.  I'm not that much of an evil writer!  But the thought did cross my mind- just kidding!

Chrysler- Thank you for your review… it wasn't boring.  You will get sort of an answer to the 'how it affects their relationship' question in this chapter too.

Thanks to everyone else that reviewed, I love you all!

Chapter 21

Coming Full Circle

I've come back here again, back to this park bench I always seem to arrive at when I want to avoid the rest of the world and have time to think.  This time though, I have come in the dead of night on the day of a new moon.  The darkness envelops my very form, threatening to consume me if it weren't for the tiny pinpricks of starlight providing the faintest illumination to my surroundings.

I should be home right now, waiting for Ryou to return from the arcade, but I don't think I would be able to stand being in that big, empty house alone at the moment.  I wonder if I even have the energy to walk home any longer.  It's amazing I managed to make it here in my exhausted state.  That magic blast from Yami took a lot out of me, but I deserved it for pushing him too far, too quickly.

Ever so slowly, I can feel the weight of depression creeping up on me once again, forcing down my chest and making it difficult to breathe.  I scarcely have the strength to hold myself upright, so instead, my body slides further into the curve of the bench.  This has turned out to be a wonderfully crappy end to a day that seemed to start off so well. 

While staring up at the stars, I replay the recent events in my mind and realize that I have no idea what is going on anymore.  I can't even begin to fathom why Yami would act in such a way towards me.  Tomorrow, he says, and I will have some answers, but he has kept these things hidden in the first place so there are no assurances that he will reveal everything.

I wonder how far this deception goes, if he has been lying to me about other things.  Obviously, he doesn't have to divulge every minute detail of his life to me, but I think I am entitled to be informed of the ones that cause such a drastic change in his character.  That's not too much to ask, is it?

Though, it could be that I am simply overreacting.  I mean, my paranoia has gotten the best of me before, so this could just be another one of those situations.  Ra, I hope it is one of those situations.  After all, what Yami is hiding can't be that bad.  It's not like he's going to tell me that he is dying or something.  Maybe it doesn't even have anything to do with me or Yami and it concerns one of his friends or most likely Yugi. 

Still, everything loops back around to the conclusion that I don't really know what is going on.  Why should I even bother speculating over all this?  It's not going to get me anywhere.  This is just maddening. 

Without any warning, a hand slides onto my shoulder from behind.  The funny thing is, I don't remember sensing anyone approaching and now, I can't bring myself to react to the unwelcome presence. 

"Bakura!"  A voice says in both a concerned and scolding tone.  Immediately, I recognize it to be Ryou's, but I would rather not face him at the moment, so I turn my entire body away from him and curl up on the bench, resting my arms on my knees and hiding my face behind them.

"Bakura… What happened?"  Why couldn't he have just gone home?  I don't need this right now.  His hand leaves my shoulder and I hear him sit down beside me.

He pauses for a moment and then lets out an extended sigh.  "Why won't you let me talk to you through our link?" 

His question alerts me to the fact that indeed I have put up my barriers, preventing him from even getting the faintest cry through.  It was an entirely unconscious act though, which makes me wonder how long they have been in place.  Ah well, the walls can stay there.

"Are you going to talk to me?"  Not if I can help it.  I would rather not 'talk through my problems' at this point in time.  I think the school counselor routine would lead to some very violent consequences tonight.

"I know something happened between you and Yami.  He looked quite pale at the arcade, but I think because of the lighting, no one really noticed.  We all had a good time; I wish that you had decided to come."  Does he really think that I would have enjoyed that sort of environment?  I'm sure that Yami was happy that I chose to stay behind.

Another sigh from Ryou.  "Was it about Yami's announcement that he was not going to participate in the tournament?"

Well, what else was it going to be about, since it was obvious enough that it was as much of a surprise to me as it was to everyone else.  "Well, I'm sure Yami has his reasons.  And though some of Yami's reasoning may be slightly flawed in my opinion, he still thinks that he is doing what is best for you, for everyone."

Hold on, what was that supposed to mean?   Raising my head so that my face is no longer concealed, I stare straight into Ryou's wide eyes, my pupils attempting to compensate for the darkness.  "Do you know something that I do not?"  I say in a low, threatening tone.

Ryou moves a little closer and focuses on something other than my eyes.  "Is that blood on your face?!"

My hand instantly moves to the side of my mouth, brushing over the dried blood I forgot about from before.  I attempt, without much success, to remove some of it before Ryou starts to get hysterical.  "It's nothing."

"Did Yami do this to you?"  Ryou's hand glides towards the side of my face, but I bat it away before it moves too close.

"I told you that it is nothing.  Besides… it was my fault anyway."  He retracts his hand and sits back, returning to his original position, displaying a look of skeptical acceptance.  He'll probably bug me about it later.  "You never answered my question, do you know something about all of this that I don't?  Yugi certainly acted as if he did."

"Uh… well, I have my suspicions, but in the end, it's not really my place to say."  Ryou shifts uncomfortably where he is sitting.  Ra, what is this?!?  Am I the only one out of the loop here?

I stand up from the bench and face a startled Ryou.  "Not your place?!?  You are my hikari!  I think that obligates you to tell me about anything critical that involves me or anyone that I concern myself with!"

Dammit, I shouldn't have yelled at him.  In his eyes I can detect the slightest resurgence of the fear that has not shown itself for a long time now, the fear that I am going to hit him.  I must look really pissed off. 

After a second, I turn and sit back down on the bench, facing forward with my arms crossed.  "I didn't mean to yell."

"It's okay."  He exhales slowly, but quietly, probably trying to prevent me from noticing.  I wonder how long he'd been holding that breath.  "I think I can understand a little of what you are going through."

Steadily he rises from where he is sitting and stands square in front of me, extending a hand outwards.  "Let's go home.  It's already much too late to be sitting out here like this and you'll feel better after getting cleaned up and some sleep as well."

Might as well do as he says, considering the amount of stress and worry I've already put him through today.  "Fine."

I take hold of his hand and pull myself upright.  As we walk along back to the house, he hooks his arm around my own, as if to let me know that he is still beside me.

Shutting you out wasn't entirely on purpose.  I tell him, after reopening our link.

I know.  It's alright.  Why is he always so damn forgiving?  How does one person sustain that sort of mentality?

I don't know how much more of this I can take, Ryou.  I hear a slight hitch in his breathing and feel his hand tense momentarily on my arm, but I decide to continue anyway.  I'm tired.

Whatever is going on between you and Yami, I'm sure it's not all that bad.  Besides, he can't keep you in the dark forever.

He told me that he was going to give me some answers tomorrow.

That's good.  Just remember to listen to everything he has to say before making a judgment.  Don't jump to conclusions.

I will try.

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Sleeping alone is odd.  It has been a while since Yami and I have been apart like this.  I've become so accustomed to his presence next to me that now, I find it difficult to drift off to sleep, even though I am utterly exhausted.  Even when we wouldn't see each other for the entire day, we still managed to end up at either of our houses at night, sometimes not until well after midnight.

I really should go to sleep though and stop my mind from playing out all of these disastrous scenarios in my head.  The worry is building up so much inside of my stomach, it is on the verge of making me ill.  The scary thing is that I can't even tell myself that everything is going to be fine after all of this is resolved.  The 'what if' questions are plaguing me like an impenetrable swarm of locusts.

My attention turns to the faint creak of my door opening.  The dim light in the room reflects hauntingly off of Ryou's white hair as he glides towards where I am lying in my bed. 

"Can't sleep?"  He whispers.

"It's not that much of a concern.  I'll get over it."

"Move over."

"What?"

"I said, move over."  I really don't need him worrying about me anymore tonight.  I suppose he would be angry if I denied his request though.

"Don't get used to bossing me around like that."  I mutter as I comply with his demands, shifting my position in my bed.

He slides underneath the sheets and snuggles right up next to me, gazing into my eyes.  "You know, I will always be there for you no matter what happens, that I am your constant."

I reply by gathering him in my arms, clinging to his unwarranted devotion.  Gradually, my worries seem as if they never existed at all.  The ones that persist, I could care less about now.  Nothing matters anymore.

And I fade away into the darkness.

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"…kura…. Bakura…"  A voice calls to me, dragging me back from the bliss of unconsciousness.  Damn, that voice is being persistent.

Once regaining a little bit of focus, I turn in the direction of the voice to see Ryou in his normal clothes.  "Yami is here to see you." 

"What?!"  His statement an obvious surprise to me.  "At this time in the morning?"

"Actually… it's almost noon.  I figured I'd let you sleep in, considering what time you finally fell asleep last night."

"Shit."  I jump out of bed and throw on some random clothes, forgoing even an attempt at brushing out my hair.  Ryou frowns at my ragged appearance, but lets me go without a word, despite it.  I could care less at this point.

I stroll down the stairs with Ryou silently in tow behind me.  I turn the corner and spot Yami still standing in the entryway with his arms crossed in front of him and an emotionless mask on his face, attempting to hide the obvious turmoil behind his eyes.  We make eye contact, silently analyzing each other's current state before Yami finally decides to speak.  "You look horrible."

"So do you."  Unfortunately, neither of is exaggerating.  I'd be surprised if Yami got any sleep last night and it's taking every ounce of concentration for him to hold himself upright like he is.

Silence again, a silence which Ryou apparently finds rather uncomfortable.  "Uhh… Why don't I leave you guys alone to talk?"

With that, he goes back upstairs to his room.  It probably is better that he leave us alone for this. 

"I'm not here to apologize."  Yami tells me flat out.

"Good, because there's no need."  He stops short, cutting off his prepared statement to a reply which was different from the one I gave.  It takes him a second to sort out in his mind his next course of action.

He sighs loudly and his mask falls away.  "Can we go sit down somewhere?"

I nod slightly and lead him into the living room, taking the chair across from the couch where he sits.  There is yet another weighted pause, one which begins to grate against my nerves.  "This is all up to you, Yami.  I'm not going to interrogate you."

His eyes widen and he turns away from me.  "I just don't know where to start."

"Why don't you start with last night?"  I suggest calmly.  Neither of us needs this to turn into another physical fight, so no point in aggravating the situation with a harsh tone of voice.  I just hope he doesn't say anything that would merit an otherwise calm reaction.

"Ah… that one's easy.  My reason I gave was true, but also I don't want to go because I don't want to be away from you for an extended period of time."  I wait for him to continue, but he just stares blankly.  Okay, he's not being cooperative and I am already getting irritated.  I know this isn't an issue of separation anxiety.

"I think you need to elaborate on that a bit."  I say, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice.

"Right, well… you see, I didn't want the power of my Puzzle away from you for so long and at such a great distance."  Hm, that seems odd.  But, I promised myself I would be patient and wait for him to explain everything before I reacted, so I simply say nothing and keep my face blank.

"So, it would be hard for me to support you if I were to travel far away to the tournament."  Support me?

"Yami, you aren't making any sense."  I lower my brow in confusion, which only seems to make Yami more uncomfortable.  He doesn't show it physically, but there is fear behind his words, even though he is managing to keep them calm and controlled.  He's been using all of his tremendous talent at keeping cool in front of great opponents, but this is new territory for him and his gathered expertise is about to become useless.

"I've been supporting you with power from the Millennium Puzzle.  I believe that is why you get dizzy every once in a while and I am constantly tired.  Because subconsciously, you are not willingly accepting the energy and it creates a sort of backlash between the both of us."  How can I accept it if I've never known about it?!?  Okay, don't yell, don't yell, don't yell.  There must be a good reason for this…

"Why?"  I ask through gritted teeth.

"Because you were dying!  I had to do something!"    

"You mean this has been going on for that long?!  Why the hell haven't you told me about it before now?!  That was months ago!"  Shit, I guess there's no turning back now.

"Yes, it has been a long time now, hasn't it…?  I have been sustaining your Ring since I carried your battered body back to your house.  I had to make sure you were at least breathing before Ryou saw you.  I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would react like this, because… because you would interpret it as being dependent on me and it would bruise your ego.  I-"

"Bruise it?!  Yami, that practically destroys it!"  A wave of fear and concern comes flooding through Ryou's side of our link.  I'm sure he can hear me yelling.  Yami reflects much of the same fear and panic, but with guilt blended over his features.

"Why didn't you stop after I regained consciousness?"  I ask, changing the subject in an effort to keep my anger level down.

"Well, that's the problem, you see.  I did try, a few times.  But that's when you would pass out or not be able to heal yourself and I could feel you slipping away from me."

"How did you do this without me noticing?" 

"Ah, for that, I used one of your own tricks."  He tries to smile, but it dies before it becomes an actuality, absorbed by the melancholy that is underneath all of his other displayed emotions.  "You remember how you took a piece of my Puzzle and put a fraction of your soul into it a while ago, right before Battle City?  When you were unconscious, I did the same thing with the Ring.  Only, I used it in a different way than you did."

"So, you totally disregarded my own wishes, dragged me back to this hellhole called existence, and have been forcing me to continue on living, all for your own selfish reasons." 

"You completely misinterpreted my actions!  I did it for you and Ryou first off.  Only later did my own feelings truly come into consideration.  Besides, can you honestly say that after all that has happened since then, that it would have been better had you actually died from falling off that building?" 

"Sometimes."  I said that much too quickly, without really thinking.  Quick enough that the look of hurt from Yami is making me feel incredibly guilty.

"Do you really mean that?"  He asks in a slow, soft voice, never breaking eye contact.

"No… I mean, sometimes, I can't help but let my mind dwell on certain things.  Things that make me feel guilty for being alive or things that make me angry or frustrated or hopeless.  It's always there underneath everything.  Usually being around you is a temporary relief, but I just can't help myself sometimes.  It all comes back to the same conclusion though, every time, that this is all pointless."

"I don't know what to say, Bakura, I really don't.  Just tell me how to help and I will do it."  His shoulders curl inward a fraction of an inch, making him look as if he has been beaten down and is in fear of another attack, bracing himself against the inevitable.

"I don't know either… The one thing I do want to ask is, are you doing this out of love or guilt?" 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, did you save me because you felt guilty about practically ruining my life or because you had feelings for me?  If that had never happened would we still be in this relationship as we are today?"  His eyes widen more than ever before and there is a lengthy pause as he searches for the right words to say next.

"I think that when I first found you after you fell, saving you was a matter of instinct.  The only thought that was going through my mind was that I couldn't let you die.  Afterwards, I did feel bad that it seemed like I was one of the major causes of your depression, but also, I didn't want you to leave Ryou alone.  I can't know what our relationship would be if that had never happened.  Admittedly, your actions allowed both of us to see a side of each other that we probably wouldn't have seen otherwise in the beginning, but I did have the vaguest attraction to you beforehand.  I just couldn't stop thinking of you as an enemy, not one that I was bent on destroying of course, but an admirable foe of sorts."
"An admirable foe, eh?"  I smirk casually to lighten the mood a bit.  Yami looks like he is going to collapse from all of the strain and the last thing we need is him having a total breakdown.  I think he has been holding back all of these fears and emotions for so long that now, he is trying to prevent them from all flooding out at the same time.

"Yeah… I mean that in the best way possible."  A faint smile graces his lips, but his hands clench into tighter fists, his knuckles turning white.  I'm surprised Yami hasn't exploded yet.

Deciding to be exceedingly nice, I rise from my chair and sit down next to Yami on the couch.  I wrap my arm around him and he buries his face in my chest, grateful for the affectionate gesture.  "Do you remember what I told you a while ago… That no matter what happens, I will always love you.  Can you say the same or is what I've done too much?"

I begin to consider his muffled query, but apparently the wait was too much to bear for Yami.  He looks up to my eyes in a way that I can only think that my response could shatter his very soul.  "Well, say something!  Are you mad at me?"

"No… Much to my astonishment, I'm not angry."  Yami's body slightly relaxes against my own, indicating that I relieved at least a fraction of his anxieties.  "But I guess I am just disappointed about the fact that you didn't tell me everything from the start.  I'm not quite sure how to feel about the other things."

I must just still be in shock over this entire conversation.  I can't really feel anything right now.  Yami simply stares back at me, enthralled in every syllable that I speak, making sure he doesn't miss any hint to my underlying emotions. 

I take his shoulders and push him back from me, giving me a clear view of his face.  "This is what I want to happen, Yami.  This week, you will go to that Duel Monsters tournament and have fun with your friends.  I will stay here and have some time to myself, to consider all that has happened.  I think it's best that we had some time apart and after you get back, we will figure out exactly what needs to happen in our relationship."

"But-"

"No.  I want time alone to think!  This way, both you and Ryou will be gone for a few days."  He considers this for a moment, mentally debating whether or not to accept my terms.

"Fine, but while I'm gone, if you start to feel worse than you already do, you must call me.  Yugi will have his cell phone and I will give you the number before we leave."

"Fine."  Yami is still unblinking in anticipation, waiting for something I have left unanswered.

"Don't worry, this won't be anything drastic… I still love you, there's no changing that."  That's exactly what he was waiting for.  He slides out of my grip and tackles me, throwing me down on the couch and knocking the breath out of me.  Despite this, he pounces on me, locking us into a deep kiss filled with relief. 

After finally releasing me, I instantly gasp for air.  "Ra, Yami, are you trying to suffocate me?"

He props himself up on his arms and beams back at me with a new found energy.  "It wasn't on purpose."

"I'm sure."

"Why don't I make us something to eat?"  He begins to get off of me, but I grab hold of his slender waist and pull him back down.

"You're not going anywhere… This is my house after all.  I should be the one to cook."

"If that's the case, then I certainly won't let you up from this couch."

"Okay, maybe Ryou will cook for us."

"That would be better, considering his cooking probably won't kill us or cause severe illness."

"Hey, my cooking isn't that bad!"

"Whatever you say."  I exhale loudly and let the insult slide.

"You just take a nap and I'll tell Ryou."  Yami smiles lightly before lying his head down sideways onto my chest.  After I ask Ryou to make something for us through our link and a few minutes of silence, Yami shifts slightly. 

"I can hear your heartbeat."  He mumbles quietly.

"Really?"  I reply softly with a certain disinterest.  I suppose it's not surprising since he has his ear against my chest right above my heart.

"It's so quiet." 

I feel my heart skip a beat and I hold my breath for a second.  I honestly don't know how to respond to that observation.  I move my hand up to his shoulder, attempting to distract him.  "Just go to sleep."

His body relaxes and shortly afterwards, I hear Ryou sneak past us to the kitchen, giving me a warm smile as he passes.  There are three days until Yami leaves for a five day tournament.  It will be interesting to see how this all works out, if it does at all.

To be continued-

So, next chapter will come sooner because I have some time off from work.  Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review!