Sidechapter 2 – Akatsuki Challenged? A Worthy Rival!
Zetsu, Deidara, Itachi, and Kisame walked down the dirt path in unpleasant moods.
"I'm hungry as hell…"
"Me too…am I insane yet, am I insane yet…"
"Will you two shut up?" Kisame stormed. "Look at Itachi, he's not complaining."
"That's because every word I say is painful due to the lack of nourishment I'm getting."
"See!" Deidara groaned. "Even silent bob knows Akatsuki doesn't get food benefits."
"And I'm getting tired of cannibalism," groaned Zetsu. "I need my vegetables, dammit."
"You call yourselves, Akatsuki?" roared Kisame. His stomach growled in response. "…fine, we'll go eat at some damn restaurant…cowards…"
Deidara whooped and pointed in front of them.
"Hey, what's that in the distance?"
"A barn, woohoo," muttered Itachi.
They walked closer and looked at the sign – The Curry Shop of Life.
"What's curry?" asked Deidara.
"You don't even know what curry is?" shouted Kisame incredulously.
"Neither do you," Itachi muttered.
"So? I don't waste time improving my food-recognizing skills."
"It's obvious," added Zetsu. "That because we spend all our time training in the deadly arts, we forgot about our basic needs."
The others looked at him oddly.
"Let's just get something to eat."
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"Sanshou-baasan, we have visitors!"
"Oh me, oh my Ranmaru! Anyone we know?"
"I don't think so…they're fierce-looking ninja dressed in ladies' clothes."
"…better get them some good curry then."
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"Mmm…somethin smells vewy good!"
"Stop acting like a little girl, Deidara."
"…I used to be a little girl, asshole."
The Akatsuki walked up to the bar, where they were greeted by Karashi.
"Welcome to the Curry Shop of Life…can I please take your order?"
Kisame slammed some money on the counter and squinted at the menu.
"Four bowls of…coo-rye."
"Uh, you mean curry...on plates?"
"JUST BRING ME THE DAMN FOOD!"
"Y-yes sir!" Karashi scuttled into the kitchen.
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Ten minutes later…
The Akatsuki looked at their bubbling plates in tepid interest.
"Wow…just looking at it makes me dizzy."
"Can it, clay-wuss…just eat it and go!" yelled Kisame.
"That was cruel." Deidara picked up his fork and took a bite, half rice, half curry. The others watched silently as the food fumbled around his mouth and down his throat. Suddenly…
"SO HOT! HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT-"
Kisame punched him in the face.
"What a dumbass…you can't stand a little spice?"
"Yeah," Zetsu added. "You're lucky your village newspaper didn't catch that."
Deidara did not settle down.
"You don't understand! Eating this…thing…is like fighting copy-ninja Kakashi!"
"So you're saying it's easy as hell," said Itachi.
"NO! It's…jeez, just try it yourself!"
Zetsu, Kisame, and Itachi spooned some curry into their mouths.
"So, what do you think?" asked Deidara, secretly hoping at least one of them would share his fate.
"I think you're a wuss," Zetsu replied. Kisame and Itachi nodded their heads.
"A huge wuss."
"This isn't spicy."
Deidara stared at them and pointed an accusing finger.
"FREAKS! You're all freaks! Wait a minute…none of you swallowed it!"
True enough, the curry bites the others took were stilll in the back of their mouths.
"Who's the wuss now? HAHAHA-"
Zetsu looked at him coldly.
"Let's just eat it so he'll shut up."
The others swallowed the curry tentatively and waited as Deidara stared at them.
"Well…?"
Itachi was the first to stand up.
"Excuse me for a moment."
He opened the door and walked outside as Zetsu and Kisame followed him quietly. Deidara watched them leave with in puzzlement.
"What the..."
He was interrupted. Suddenly. Loudly.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
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Two months later…
"What are you going to do to me, Deidara? Death by explosion? Hahaha…"
"No…death by CURRY! HERE YOU GO, ASSHOLE!"
"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"