19. Will the Dawning Break
It was hard to believe that the last time I was here I thought that it was hell. How wrong was I.
My chamber was not hell. Hell couldn't even come close to what these last 3 days had been. The contrast between the two experiences waqs alarming. At least during my first time, I could still go out of this cursed building. I still had a warm bed and room and decent food. The time when I had first fallen into Erik's midst had practically been royal treatment. But now I couldn't even call myself nothing. I had sunk below that.
Hell was not scorching hot with fire. Oh no, I would have prefered the flames. My hell was quite the contrary. My hell was a small, dirty, freezing cold room without any heat. Hell had very little light and rations of bread and water. Hell was worrying if you could get out of here in time to save the life of your baby. With the little sustenance I received, I worried that I would not be able to properly nourish my child. My soul would be torn from me if that life was lost. This child was all that I had left. It maintained my will to live. But there were still worse things than my living conditions.
I had never felt so dirty physically and spiritually in my whle life. I was sick of betraying Erik. Every single night I was forced to commit a crime against him that I would have never even dreamed of doing. Every God damned night I was forced into allowing some filthy, uncaring bastard to take possession of my body. I tried so often to force myself to imagine that I was still at home and Erik and I were sharing a passionate and lovin union, but it held neither. This visious, lustful rape I was forced to undergo was nothing like I had known with my husband, but I feared that it would become all I would ever know.
The morning after my third night of painful betrayal I had an unexpected visitor. Instead of Bourais sliding a small tray under the flap in the door, I found Camille peeking her head under it.
"Camille, what are you doing here? If Madame knew, she might lock you up too."
"Don't worry, I offered to take your food to you.Besides, I want to help you."
"I wish you could."
"You know Meg, all of the girls think that you are very brave."
I shrugged my shoulders. They didn't know that my spirit was dying.
"Meg, what hapened to you after you ran away? Where have you been?" she asked.
I looked at her through the flap, wondering if I could trust her with secrets that Madame could never find out.
"Can I trust you with a secret?"
Her eyes seemed honest as she nodded.
"Well, the night I ran away, I knocked out my client. I then found myself into the hands of a man named Erik who first kept me as a prisoner and I hated it. Then I was attacked and nearly killed, but Erik saved me and I found out that he really wasn't as bad as I though he was. We ended up falling in loved and we got married a month ago." Tears threatened to fall as I recalled bittersweet memories of a past that was lost.
Camille looked at me in wonder but her face fell when she noticed how much remembering hurt. "You really miss him don't you."
"God, more than anything in the world. That's not all either. I need to get back to him so that my baby can know it's father."
She gasped and said with a sigh, "you are so lucky Meg."
"Does it look like I'm lucky now? Every night that bitch ties me down and forces me to betray my husband and if I don't get out of here, I'll lose my baby too." Just thinking about it sent me on the edges of panic.
"That's true," Camille replied calmly "but you were able to know what freedom is like. You have someone out there who loves you and cares about you. You have a life to miss outside these walls. I don't. I want to get out of here and find happiness and a good life of my own. I just wish that I had enough courage like you to find it."
I looked at her with gratitude and smiled weakly. "Thanks."
There was a short silence before I got an idea. Though I was confined to this room, Camille was not.
"Camille, could you do me a big favor?"
"Of course."
"Could you bring Erik to me?"
"Sure. What does he look like?"
"He's very tall. He had almost icy clue eyes that make you feel like he sees right through you. HIs hair is very dark, almost black, but not quite, and he usually wears a black suit and cloak and a white half mask. You can't miss him." I only hoped that Camille would not figure out Erik's better known identity. It was bad enough having one of us in a prison already.
"I hope I can find him Meg."
"I hope so too," I said glumly.
A voice called out to Camille and she looked at me anxiously.
"I cannot stay any longer. I hope this works."
"Thank you for everything Camille." And with that, my ally left, leaving me in solitude again.
I could not tell if Camille kept her promise because men continued to come. My mind became numb to everything around me. Days and nights were terribly long and hours wore on slowly. It had only been about a week and already it felt like a month. I started to wonder if I could hold on. Every single night after I had been tied down and raped, I felt like my soul had been killed. That was the problem with living. A body can only be killed once, but a soul can be torn, beaten, broken, and murdered over and over again and every single blow hurts as much as the first. My mind was deteriorating and I was certain that if I was not freed soon, my sanity would be lost without any hope of regaining it. My resolve to live was fading as I realized that my chances of seeing Erik again lessened after each passing day. One way or another, my baby would die, either of my final surrender or of managing to hold on long enough for my pregnancy to become noticable. I needed a miracle.
It had been exactly one week, seven days of darkness, lust, and pain. Almost every trace of hope had left me. I did not eat at all on the weekly aniversary of my capture; I only sat in the darkest, coldest corner of that cursed room, feverently praying toGod for death or deliverance. I wanted to weep, to cry like my anguished soul, but there were no tears left and I did not want to feel any weaker than I already was, if that was possible. I wanted to give myself reassurance that Icould get through this and that I would find Erik again, but I just couldn't believe myself. I knew that Bourais had won. I had lost the moment I was in her grasp and the power to change that never was and never would be in my hands.
For a while, during the faint, but blessed light of day, I dreamed of the life and future that had been so brutally torn from me seven days ago. I thought of the Christmas I had so been looking forward to, with carols by the fire, of my husband and I anticipating our awaiting baby, of placing a child that was unmistakably his into his loving arms. I had come so close to knowing perfection. A solitary tear fell down my dirty, sullen cheek. It was soon followed by another and another until it was too late to stop their flow and I released the utter sadness I had been holding in for days. I scowled in self disgust. I was so weak that I couldn't even hide it.
As the shadows in my room continued to stretch themselves, I slowly slipped deeper into insanity. I wasn't even sure if I knew who, or even what I was. Something animal-like had possessed my, making me determined to get out or die trying. My eyes were quick and my knees and fists shoot. I tried to steady myself, but my rising adrenaline made me unaware of how deep my nails sunk into my palms as I fought for control. Madame would have to use every single bullet she had in that damned pistol to kill the beast in me before I was tied to that bed again.
As the sun began to sink behind the buildings, the beast anticipated its release and my heart was beating at an alarming rate. At last the door opened and there stood the old hag and my latest seducer. I lunged at the door, ready to tear through them, that hag was a clever one and she sent a blow to my head with a cane so hard that stars flashed before me. The impact knocked me back and before I even had a chance to react, they grabbed me and flung me down on the bed. My mind dismissed the terrible throbbing headache I now had and instead I thrashed about, fighting with every remaining ounce of strength left. Bourais left after they had succeded in tying my hands and I continued to kick at my client. Even after I was fully binded, I thrashed about, wriggling, snapping and growling like a rabid dog. Somehow or another he managed to get a hold on my dress, fighting with the laces as I fought even harder.
The laces were considerably looser when the door suddenly snapped open. My heart leapt as a familiar shadow swept into the room, tossing a noose around the neck of my customer and with one jerk he was sent flying back with a sickening crack.
"Erik!" I cried, desperately pulling against the ropse. My husband returned to my side, unsheathing his sword and freeing me at last. In a flash, he pulled me into his arms and I clung to him, still unable to believe that he was really here.
"Oh my God, I thought I lost you forever," he panted. I felt tears come to my eyes and a dry sob wracked my throat. I increased my grip on him, never wanting to let go ever again.
Our attention was quickly diverted to the door and my eyes widened as my dreaded warden appeared, ready to take me again.
"What the hell-." Madame's sentence was cut short as Erik shot her a death glare with eyes of hell's anger and she was petrified with fear.
"Time to die bitch," Erik growled, whipping out his deadly lasso. I remained frozen to the spot, frightened a bit as I watched him, once so loving and gentle, become a ruthless killer. Though I most certainly did not feel remorse for the old hag's death, seeing Erik int he actual act of killing startled me in how sharply the man before me contrasted from the husband that I knew. Bourais struggled a bit at the rope before life was strangled from her at last and her body fell limpy to the ground. I was snapped out of my trance as Erik pulled me into his arms and I was relieved to know that his murderous outburst had passed, but a great commotion from downstairs reminded us that we could not linger for long. It also reminded me that there was no other way out.
However, Erik apparently had other ideas. With great strength, he pried off the boards with his sword and broke the window open, sending great streams of moonlight to flood the dark room. He swung the lasso and caught it on a rainspout before giving it a tug to make sure that was firm. Oh God, he wasn't really expecting me to get out that way, did he?
"Come on Meg, we have to swing down."
I looked at him with eyes full of fear, terrified at the thought of plummeting to the ground.
"You have to trust me."
He was right. One of the most important things I would have to learn about marriage was trust. With a complete leap of faith in him, I found the courage to take that plunge and I grabbed onto Erik, tightly wrapping my arms and legs around him. I yelped as we rapidly slid down the rope and I clung even tighter. As soon as we hit the ground I tried to stand, but my knees were so weak and shaky that they gave way and I collasped into a helpless heap in the steet. I knew that we needed to run and get out of here as fast as possible, but how was I supposed to run when I could hardly stay on my feet? Erik swiftly swooped me into his strong arms and managed to run as fast as possible back to our underground haven. Only when we were safely on the shore of our home was I finally able to fall into Erik's arms. He carefully laid me down on the bed and even then I did not let go of him. Tears began to fall down my cheeks as I lost the battle with myself to restrain the anguish that plagued me. My joy to finally be home with Erik and be free from that brothel was cruelly lost in the shame of the betrayal of my body.
"Meg, please don't cry. We are together again," he whispered.
His words made me cry harder and he held me even tighter. After this past week, how could I be sure that we would truly be together from now until death do us part? Besides, would he still want to be together with an adulteress?
"Oh God, this is all my fault. I promised you that you would never have to go back. I promised to keep you safe. I was supposed to protect you. Oh Meg, please forgive me."
I sat up for a moment. Erik's words had torn through me like a knife. He had done nothing wrong, yet took the blame for everything. This crime did not belong to him.
"Erik, please don't say that. I don't blame you; there's nothing to even blame you for. I..." Oh God, how do you explain such an ordeal? "Please try to understand that I never wanted to do it. But every time they tied me down and... oh God Erik, every night! Every night... I was forced to betray you."
Erik kept his gaze calm and unwavering, piercing my battered soul with them and it unnerved me more than his anger. "Please forgive me Erik. Please understand that it was not my choice."
With loving care, Erik drew me back into his arms and delicately whispered into me ear. "What is there to forgive,mon amour? You did not do such things out of your own free will. I just wish that I had been able to prevent this from ever happening." He gently pressed his lips to my forehead and soothingly rubbed his hand over my back. I leaned further into his embrace, feeling utterly blessed to be with him again, and for that brief moment, I found peace. My head fell onto his shoulder and I sighed, completely exhausted.
"Come Meg, lie down. You need your rest."
Erik went to his room to get some clothes while I changed into a soft nightgown. But as I pulled it down over my head, a hand stopped me and I turned to find Erik with a worried look in his eyes as he studied my body. His eyes widened in horror as they darted to the bruises I had accumulated before I hastily pulled the nightgown down.
"They did this to you?"
I nodded my head, keeping my eyes downcast and quietly slipped into my own, familiar bed. Erik sat on the other side and stared blanklyat the black curtain.
"I should have been able to stop her Meg. I should have been able to protect you and get you out of there sooner."
I warily leaned over and took his hand. "Erik, please don't blame yourself for this. We are together again and that is all that matters."
He looked at me and from the cold look in his eyes, I knew that it would be a long time, at least, before he would forgive himself. Slowly Erik crawled beside me and I curled up into his arms with a sigh. Oh how I had missed his embrace, and to thing that earlier it seemed as though it was lost forever. He planted a soft kiss on my cheek, but even in the safe circle of his arms I knew that nightmares would still find me.
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry this took so long. I haven't really had much of a chance to get on here and type everything so forgive me. I am quite sure that you guys are happy that Meg is finally safe and back with Erik.
To help make up for this delay, I have decided to add something. My dear friend, Nameless Waif, suggested the idea ofMeg weilding a chainsaw in her review and I found that I actually really liked that idea. So, here is a shorter version of this chappie with a chainsaw (and me) incorporated.
Meg- LIFE SUCKS! I am sick of getting raped and tied down every night. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME!
Camille- Hi Meg! You are awesome! I'll help you kick Madame Bourais' ass!
Meg- Yay!
(Few hours later)
Meg- I'm depressed again. My baby is going to die. YOU ARE KILLING MY BABY!
(Authoress randomly pops out of nowhere).
Meg- Who the hell are you?
DragonheartRAB- I'm the person who put you here, idoit.
Meg- DAMN YOU! DIE!
Dragonheart- (cowers in fear) WAIT! I have a present for you! I will give it to you on the condition that you do not kill me. (pulls out gigantic chain saw).
Meg- Oooooooooo shiny!
Dragonheart- (revs it up)
Meg- OOOOOOOOOOO! VERY PRETTY!
(Door opens)
Madame Bourais- I have come to make you miserable!
Meg- (grabs chain saw) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE! DIE DIE DIE!(begins to saw Bourais and client into little tiny bits and proceeds in sending bits of blood and flesh all over the room)
Dragonheart- 0.o
Erik- (comes in and sees blood and gore everywhere) no fair, you already took away my fun. Oh well, I have taught her well!
Meg- Yay! You rescued me. To celebrate my awesome murder, lets forget about all of those depressing and sucky days and make wild animal love to eachother!
Erik- OKAY!
(Meg and Erik tear off clothes and make wild animal love to eachother on the bed).
Dragonheart- 0.o ... I am so outta here.