Replies to Reviews:
Rev: Thanks! Your encouragement and comments are always super-appreciated -smiles-
Rhea Logan: I'm so happy to get a positive response on the ff. net viewing… I was a little nervous about how that would be received, so your comments mean a lot to me. Thanks! -smiles-
Experimental: Oh! Thank you so much for the detailed review -smiles- (and I adore the expression "spot on" -smiles-) I also have an aversion to established Tsusoka, but I felt that I had to do it for this fic, so it means a lot to me to know that you believe it works well in this fic -smiles-
Feythamaat: Thanks so much! -smiles- (And don't worry; someone who wouldn't want to watch isn't a true Tsusoka fan, anyways:P -smiles-)
jennamarie: Ask and you shall receive: I give you 'the Muraki chapter' (and, it seems, some actual plot -smiles-)
a random person: You're very welcome, and thank you much -smiles-
Hazel-Beka: Thank you… both of you -smiles- Here's the update!
Death To Ms. Sue
Angel of the Eclipse
Chapter 3: Something About MaryAfter one very annoying night in a hotel room, Hisoka and Tsuzuki woke up to find that Mary Sue had amazingly solved the case in her sleep. Apparently it had all been explained to her in a dream, because, of course, she was also a dream-seer. Therefore, they were going to the abandoned warehouse that she had found out (though her dream) that an evil doctor was currently being evil and doctor-ish.
"To the warehouse!" Mary Sue declared confidently as she elected herself the leader of their group.
Tsuzuki noticed with a bemused start that, for the first time ever, Hisoka's features visibly brightened at the prospect of running into Muraki.
"We'll need directions," Mary said determinedly as she pounded a fist into her palm triumphantly. "This guy looks friendly…" On the streets of a random city in Kyushu, she walked over to a scruffy-looking man who was sitting at a bus stop, rocking back and forth and staring into space as he mumbled something about the government and UFOs under his breath. His bristly grayish bread and dark eyes made his pale face look even more gaunt and sickening.
"Are you sure we shouldn't ask someone else?" Tsuzuki stepped protectively between Hisoka and the crack-deprived derelict, allowing Mary as much room as she whished. Hisoka smiled behind Tsuzuki's shoulder; he was more than happy to let Mary try her luck with the asylum escapee.
"Don't worry, I'm incredibly street smart. I speak the language of the locals." Mary Sue smiled proudly as she walked up to the drooling, bug-eyed man. "What up, dude?" She started to coolly bop her head to the tempo of the man's rocking. "I ain't no narc, but my ass will bust your cap, straight up!" Mary Sue confidently belted out the mutilated slang as Tsuzuki and Hisoka watched in horror and confusion at what she called 'local language.' "Me and my bros need a shizzle for nizzle. You digging my bark, beotch?" She made some gestures with her hands that looked like she was flipping the guy off upside down.
Tsuzuki quickly grabbed the inept girl when the man turned his head to focus his eccentrically beady eyes on the still wildly gesturing female. "Sorry to bother you, sir" Tsuzuki said hurriedly, quickly stepping back as the wild man hissed at the girl with a toothless mouth.
"The nerve of that guy!" Mary huffed as Hisoka and Tsuzuki exchanged glances of happy-to-be-alive and guided Mary Sue down the sidewalk in the opposite direction of the bus stop. "Don't worry," she sighed, and Hisoka shivered at the ominous smile that was reforming on her lips. "I have a special form of 'locator magic.' I created it myself, because I'm so talented. Uh… This way!"
Since she also had an excellent sense of direction, they were at the warehouse in about 5 minutes and Hisoka shivered at the thought of the hotel that they were staying at was only 5 minutes away from the warehouse that Muraki was apparently staying at.
Opening the large doors that gave a tremendous squeak, they spotted the doctor immediately, seeing as how he stuck out like an extremely sore thumb clad in white against the dank and dirt of the abandoned building. The two Shinigami gaped stupidly at the meager setup the doctor now had.
Muraki had his trusty "Mad Scientists Companion: Traveling Molecular Biology Chemistry Set: Cloning Edition" set up in the corner of the warehouse. It had apparently come out of a small yellow case that had a huge 'Biohazard' sticker on it. The doctor looked unaffectedly up to Tsuzuki's shocked face "Not as elegant as my last setup, I know, but seeing as how you blew up my laboratory in Kyoto, and I never bought Shikigami coverage on my insurance, this is where I am for the time being." Muraki gracefully waved his elegant hand at the dark surroundings.
Mary stepped forward, staring entranced at the doctor.
Upon noticing the girl, Muraki gave an annoyed sigh.
Slowly walking the rest of the distance up to him, she ignored the foul-looking liquids that filled beakers, the oddly benign odors his experiment was emitting, and the easy-listening station that his radio was set to. "You are such a beautiful man!" She stopped a mere foot in front of him, apparently forgetting about her Tsuzuki-infatuation.
"Why, thank you," He smiled charmingly as he turned off his E-Z Bake Oven before his hydrochloric acid boiled over, and then regarded the girl seriously. "But I think you might be malfunctioning." He eyed her contemplatively, and then shrugged as he continued to himself, "It's a pity, I haven't been able to create a single one that lasts very long."
"What do you mean?" she asked with innocently dimwitted wonderment as her fascination turned to suspicion. "Do I know you?"
Muraki smiled warmly. "I made you. But no, you don't know me." He paused a moment and furrowed his unnaturally silver eyebrows. "Before I could introduce myself after your animation here in this warehouse, you threw a beaker of deionized water at me and yelled 'Super Sonic Hydro Attack!'...It was quite vexing," he recalled disconcertedly as he tapped his chin.
"What?" she asked in a scandalized tone. Suddenly the doctor wasn't nearly as attractive to her and she backed away a step.
"Wait" Hisoka's features sobered in mild contemplation as a thought struck him. "Do you mean you made her the person she is today, or you made her… like a pie?"
Muraki thought on it for a moment and then replied with a serious nod, "Pie would be the closer explanation, I suppose."
"Wow…" Tsuzuki's features fell into awe, and amazement. "That's the worst plan you've ever thought up." His mouth hung open moronically from the shock over his rival's latest scheme.
Oblivious to anyone that was not conversing about what she wanted to talk about, Mary rudely blurted out in her worry for herself, "What do you mean you 'made' me?"
A look of 'weren't you paying attention' shadowed Muraki's features before he smiled maliciously and said "Don't you wonder, girl, why you are so uncreative, unoriginal, far-fetched, and overly perfect to the point where people vomit a little if they so much as hear you name?" Muraki grabbed the girl's little wrist and held her firmly in place. "It is because…" The doctor drove his index finger straight into her ear, making the real Shinigami empathetically flinch with disgust at the squishing sound the action caused. "…It is because you have no brain!" And true to his word, when Muraki pulled the finger back out it was covered in a lumpy, brownish colored glop. He watched the girl indifferently as she stared, horrified, at the substance that resided within her skull. She was completely oblivious to the fact that she just had a finger jabbed into her head and was still alive.
Hisoka seemed to be the first of the observers to find his voice again, and offered his own intelligent assessment. "Ew! Gross!"
Tsuzuki was suddenly ecstatic at what they had just found out and he beamed delightedly at Hisoka "See! She's Muraki-made! It wasn't my fault I fell in love with her in chapter one! It must have been some spell that Muraki put on her to make me--"
Hisoka whacked him hard on the head. "Idiot! We're not supposed to know we're in a story." He continued in a more defeated tone, "But other than that, you're right. I suppose you're forgiven."
Deciding against pushing his luck and pointing out that Hisoka actually owed him an apology, Tsuzuki grabbed up his shorter partner in an affectionate hug as Hisoka turned his attention back to their third member and the doctor.
There were now several yards of adequate battle space in between the two psychos as they stared each other down. "You, my dear, are a Mary Sue. Created for the sole purpose of bringing Meifu down from the inside."
"That's a lie!" She quivered in her frustrated anger. "I am NOT a Mary Sue!"
"Honestly, denying it only makes it worse," Muraki mildly scolded her, waving a glove-clad finger disapprovingly.
"Liar!" Mary shook with rage "Gloria! Super Flame Blast Tornado Explosion Attack!" she screamed, pointing dramatically at the intended target.
Gloria looked up at the girl with one fox-brow raised in question. 'Idiot, you made that attack up, didn't you?' he said in fox language, but since Mary Sue couldn't talk to animals, it just sounded like mewling squeaks to her.
"What did he say?" Muraki asked with a knowing smile that made her erratic shaking intensify with furious denial.
From the sidelines, Hisoka gestured angrily at the pair locked in combat. "How did those two manage to steal the spotlight?"
Tsuzuki and Hisoka sat on the floor dejectedly, with no clear idea of which side to root for. Not wanting to waste time trying to figure it out, Tsuzuki started peppering little butterfly kisses down his partner's neck.
"Stop that!" Hisoka tried to halt his partner's advances as he eyed his grimy surroundings, and his two most hated people fighting in the distance.
"Come on, it's plenty dark in here. And Mary's been interrupting us every time we get close," Tsuzuki whined with an adorable pout that was much more attractive than Mary's pouts.
Hisoka relented, finding nothing wrong with his partner's logic. It really had been an annoying few days with sabotage-happy girl lurking around every corner whenever he felt frisky. Now, with both his old enemy and his latest enemy currently locked in mortal combat with one another, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to get indecent.
Hisoka shrugged. "Sure, why not. Nothing else has made much sense lately." Hisoka jumped his surprised, but hyper-eager partner.
"Are you sure lemons are allowed here?" Tsuzuki asked as he quickly and aggressively tried to expose more of his partner's skin so he could cover it in wet kisses, marking his territory in saliva.
"Don't worry, we'll censor the good bits," Hisoka said as the past several days of mojo-suppression where forcing his teenaged libido into an assertive overdrive, and they where soon both wrestling on the warehouse floor, fighting aggressively for the seme's position…
"That's it…!" Mary's expression turned murderous "… MOON PRISIM POWER!" Mary Sue's clothes instantly transformed into a slutty, yet colorful, little sailor girl outfit, which her impeccably shaped female body filled perfectly.
Muraki raised an unimpressed eyebrow "Wrong anime, idiot."
"No, its not!" Mary growled like an angry child and struck a pompous pose. "I just happen to have a magic bond with the Sailor Scouts. I can call upon their magic at anytime!"
"You can't use their power," Muraki stated factually as he crossed his arms across his chest, preparing for the verbal battle to end all verbal battles.
"Can too! How do you explain the outfit Mr. Smarty Pants?" she snarled and put her fists hard on her pleated skirt-clad hips.
"You were wearing it under your clothes… you just ripped off your other outfit," he replied with calculated coolness.
"How dare you…" Maliciousness coated every syllable, though a small speck of despair was staring to shimmer through the air around her, vibrating with unruly power.
Muraki smirked. "Admit it," he said coolly. "You don't have that kind of power, you wear contacts, dye your hair, and if you really could talk to animals you would now that Gloria is a guy."
…Not wanting to be the uke on the warehouse floor, Hisoka was getting increasingly worried as he was losing the 'keep your pants on longer than Tsuzuki' game. Though, when he lost altogether, he was happy to note that he had ended up on Tsuzuki's huge, ever-present trench coat that had been discarded during the rather violent foreplay… Though, Hisoka was even happier when his mate quickly dipped his head between the boy's thighs…
Gasping in worry at the last accusation, Mary looked down at her Shikigami who was nodding in agreement with the doctor's comment. "But… but Gloria is so fluffy, and mint colored…" Her resolve was breaking along with her voice as the pain of getting repeatedly slapped hard in the face by reality started to sink in. He eyes widened fearfully as she watched her uncontrollable, violently shaking body.
"You were never meant to exist." Muraki picked up a large blue container from his biohazard case as he eyed his prey hungrily.
…Swallowing deeply before declaring happily through glossy lips "My turn!" Tsuzuki took the convenient advantage of an afterglow-weakened partner, swinging the small, pleasure-dizzied body around, raising unresisting legs onto his shoulders. Hisoka let out a startled yelp when Tsuzuki suddenly slammed…
Knees quivering, she sunk to the ground. "No, don't." He voice was growing increasingly weaker as she fought to speak against her ferocious quivering,
Muraki continued his verbal assault regardless of her pleas. "The entire fandom despises you. You're not meant for this world." He saw her small body shaking erratically and smirked pompously.
"Don't… Please stop!" She grabbed her head painfully, the pounding growing more intense.
Readying his container of sweet-smelling liquid, the doctor smiled predatorily at his inevitable victory. "You don't belong here and you never will!"
She clutched her head tightly as she began to shake uncontrollably "Stop! Noooooooo!"
… Harder, sweatier, stickier, noisier, fiercer, faster, stronger, and quickly losing any semblance of pattern, the intense spasmodic pleasure mounted inside them both until…
"Aaarrggghhhhhhhhhhh!" was the final earth-shattering cry that echoed throughout the warehouse as Muraki chucked the contents of the container at the girl, sending a slimy substance flying across the small battlefield and landing all over Mary Sue, covering her in a thin, sticky film of transparently pink, flower-scented liquid that sizzled on contact.
Tsuzuki fell, from lack of energy, atop Hisoka, squishing his little partner as the boy felt around angrily for his pants underneath the dead weight of his partner.
Starting to pull his clothes back on as quickly as he could, Hisoka watched the still-screaming girl go into rabidly intense convulsions while coated in the flower-scented pink slime Muraki had thrown on her. Pushing his still flushed and plenty heavy partner off of himself, he prepared for the worst as the air thickened and reverberated with unstable energy as he noticed Muraki carelessly chuck a lit match at Mary Sue.
Hisoka had barely gotten his pants back on when that blood curdling scream of "Aaarrggghhhhhhhhhh!" that had been ripping its way out of Mary Sue's mouth started to falter and break up into ominous, chill-inducing chokes as the slimy pink liquid that Muraki had doused her with very slowly began to catch fire. The room still quaking with volatile energy, Mary Sue's convulsions became terribly erratic and her skin was literally crawling over her body.
In the next second, Hisoka shielded his eyes as Mary Sue exploded instantly from a mix of skin weakening fire and the impact of the intensely malicious but altogether true lecture Muraki had given her.
Mary Sue's body burst into a million little pieces, sending small bits of her flying in every direction. Hisoka, unfortunately, caught the brunt of the maelstrom of flying chunks of flesh and was thrown on his back by the force and amount of slop that hit him.
"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki was over his sex daze and looking down at his partner with over abundant Tsuzuki-worry before the last of the Mary-chunks had even hit the ground.
"Ew!" Hisoka sat up shakily, trying to pull the chunky slop from his hair and face. "What the hell? Is this… oatmeal?" Hisoka asked disgustedly, while unattractively spitting bits of Mary out of his mouth.
After zipping up and making himself decent, Tsuzuki stuck his finger in the goo on his partner's still shirtless chest and tasted it, smacking his lips together at the gooey texture and making a sour face. "It is oatmeal… with raisins," Tsuzuki confirmed in wonderment but then added with forced brightness when he noticed Hisoka didn't seem very comforted by that fact, "Don't worry! Oatmeal is good for your skin."
Hisoka just looked even more shocked and revolted. "It used to be a person, you idiot!"
"Not really…" Tsuzuki started with calm stubbornness "You honestly can't convince me that a person like that actually exists…" Tsuzuki's expression immediately became surprised with a sudden epiphany "Of course! Oatmeal!" Tsuzuki internally cheered himself for his deduction then turned back to Hisoka as he continued meaningfully, "The most bland, unappealing, flavorless, crap-tastic food of all time! It was the most perfect thing to construct Mary Sue out of!" His smile was happily mischievous as he rubbed his chin at the doctor's devious plan.
Hisoka looked at him with an unimpressed expression, but wasn't about to argue the logic that, in all actually, sounded quite plausible.
"Dammit!" Came an annoyed voice from the corner near the Traveling Chemistry Set, and the two half-naked Shinigami looked over and saw Muraki dripping with the same girl-turned-breakfast-meal that was scattered all over the warehouse. The doctor growled at the slop that covered his favorite suit, daring it to get any messier.
"Wait," Tsuzuki called over to Muraki. "What did you do to her?" Tsuzuki was amazed at how both he and Hisoka had not managed to come up with a way to get ride of Mary Sue, but Muraki saw her for no more than 10 minutes and he had reduced her threat level to that of rolled oats.
"Obviously, I weakened her with truthful insults." Muraki started in an annoyed tone over his shoulder as he began to gather his things to leave. "I then covered her in the most flammable fluid that came with my mini-chemistry set, and then set her on fire. Everyone knows that insults and flames kill a Mary Sue." Muraki quickly threw a few pieces of equipment in his yellow biohazard case, before angrily whipping a rather large lump of goo from his collar. "And this was my last clean white suit! And I know I'm out of Oxyclean, how infuriating!" He instantly vanished in an aggravated puff of white swirls and feathers.
Tsuzuki stared perplexedly the place that Muraki had just disappeared from, still looking very confused. "That… makes sense, I guess." His features twisted in puzzlement, causing a deep frown in his normally happy brow; it was obvious that 'contemplative' didn't suit Tsuzuki's face very well. "Does this mean that the case is solved?" He looked hopefully at his smaller partner.
Hisoka sighed, rubbing his forehead in annoyance "I'm not even sure I knew what this case was about to begin with. Lets just get back." His sentence was followed by a faint 'pop' sound, as they both vanished into thin air.
To Be Concluded…
There's only one more chapter after this, so be sure to get that review in while you still can -smiles- -puppy eyes- -smiles-