Disclaimer - I don't own any characters in this story. They all belong to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Yes, all two of them. Or three, if you include the Bentley. Five if you also include a couch and a bed. Six with the mention of the house plants. But in actual man-shaped creatures, there are only two.
Notes - Yes, thanks to one Lilu's review and the nudging of DragonEyeZ (who doesn't even know who the characters are...), I have decided to continue on with this little saga, even though I originally was only going to have it with the first two. This one has very big references to slash of the Crowley/Aziraphale variety. Or, depending on how you look at it, Aziraphale/Crowley. Includes a rather curious angel and a sleep tousled demon. Yummy, yes? The need to read the other two is not important, this story can stand alone. All those who didn't read the first two need to know is that these two beings have just gone home after going to a new dance club in London. Which leads to said angel's curiosity in such matters. Sexual matters that is. You have been warned that this does include some matter that may offend.
Lay Your Hands On Me: Third Times a Charm
The drive home was maddening. There was no other word for what Aziraphale felt as the two drove in relative silence (the car made a bit of noise, naturally, and the quiet humming of the demon next to him filled the rest of what would be utter silence). They were only now going home, or at least to his book shop.
"So...did you enjoy your time sitting down being bored?" Crowley asked him, while keeping his eyes pinned to the road.
"Er...I suppose," he replied, unable to keep the blush that had finally disappeared from his face from reappearing again. Sometimes he hated his body for being this way. He blushed way too easily.
"So...you want to wile away the rest of the night drinking ourselves under a table, or doing something a little more productive?"
Aziraphale blinked and squirmed uneasily in his seat. "Productive?"
Crowley gazed at him over the rim of his sunglasses and grinned. "You know, read, sleep, that kind of thing. Oh yeah, you don't sleep." An exaggerated look came over the demons face. "You should really give it a try."
This was one of those pointless fights that they got into every now and then about mundane human things. Last time it had been about whether reading glasses were needed if one was an avid reader of old books. It didn't help that this was one of those arguments that was repeated at least once a century. Of late, that had upped to once a week. Aziraphale sighed. "If I do sleep, will you drop this childish manner of yours?" he asked, hoping for a yes.
What he got was a grin. "Oh, I don't know...it depends on whether you like it or not."
"Well then, I better enjoy it," he mumbled, not really wanting to start another argument. Truth be told he was actually feeling tired. Not in the way that usually made humans fall asleep but in the seen-too-much-and-want-to-escape-reality kind of way. He could do with such an escape and Crowley had said nothing but praise (Aziraphale still didn't know if this was a good or bad thing) about dreams.
"Course you will! Mainly because you will be in a nice, comfy bed, not on a couch!"
"What!" Aziraphale asked, a bit too shrilly for his liking. He didn't have a bed.
Crowley grinned wider, in what could only be called a wicked way. "I know you don't own a bed, and I do, and it is much better the first time round to do so comfortably. I made that mistake. Cold sofa versus warm bed, your choice."
Aziraphale hated to admit it, but if he ever was going to try this sleep thing, he would rather be as comfortable as he possibly could be. "Alright. Just...don't try anything, alright?"
He could feel the faked innocence washing over the demon next to him and sighed. He doubted very much that it would be a very peaceful time for him. Crowley chuckled. "Nah, I won't. I will grab a blanket and sleep on the couch. I'm tired."
This wasn't the first time the demon had said such in front of him. The fact that Crowley slept made him a little more prone to sleep deprivation than any angel, Fallen or not, should feel. He hated when Crowley was in a bad mood from sleep loss. He always seemed to seek him out to make his life a...well, a hell of sorts.
Aziraphale just nodded, a little of the nervousness he was feeling fading away. Perhaps this won't be as hard as he was making it out to be.
The rest of the car ride was spent in the silence, this time with nothing but the engine the car made as background noise. In what seemed to be hours later, the Bentley rolled to a stop outside the flash apartment building Crowley lived in. It was big, and looked rather spacious, which is strange for a group of flats.
Crowley lived in the top flat, and as he opened the door to usher in his guest, Aziraphale couldn't help but roll his eyes at how utterly...Crowley the place was. Everything was neat, top of the art, and sparkling clean. Near the large windows, Aziraphale was quite surprised to see house plants. And they were absolutely marvelous specimens. He couldn't help but wander over to them and gently touch some of vibrantly green leaves of the closest plant.
"Don't touch the plants. I don't want to have to retrain them because of your interference, angel."
Thinking that statement a little odd, Aziraphale followed the advice and left the greenery alone.
"Bedroom," Crowley stated, opening one door and waving him through. Aziraphale had never seen a bed that looked so...wickedly comfortable. Satin sheets that were strangely white, much like a lot of the other furniture in the house, were neatly made, a doona carefully thrown over the top. Walking over to the bed, Crowley ripped the doona off and hugged it to him, rubbing his cheek against it in a somewhat cute manner. "If the beds too hot, turn down the heat. I keep my electric blanket on."
Aziraphale had to wonder how it was that the place hadn't yet caught on fire if this was the case. He walked over to the bed himself and touched it. It was amazingly warm and he couldn't help but look to Crowley. "Why do you keep your bed so hot?"
The demon shrugged and grinned rather sheepishly at him. "It's the closest to sunning myself as I can get in a human body."
Aziraphale shook his head and closed his eyes wearily. Crowley was...such a snake sometimes. "So...what do I do? Just close my eyes?"
Truthfully, he had no idea how to start. "Well, yes. Try to empty your mind too, or you could find yourself facing some rather strange dreams..." Crowley finished the sentence off with a yawn. "Well, night angel. I'm goin' to crash on the couch now..." Without even waiting for a reply, Crowley inched his way around him and back out to the lounge room.
Which left him alone in a room with a hot, yet somewhat comfortable looking bed. Shrugging and heaving a quiet sigh, he slowly climbed under the mass of sheets and huddled in the warmth. He didn't know if the electric blanket was a good thing to leave on, but the warmth was...so inviting. And the sheets felt glorious under his hands and feet (he refused to sleep naked).
He must have achieved his goal of falling asleep, because he remembered having odd visions that must have been these dreams Crowley liked so much. He had had three he remembered, the third one having jolted him awake. The first had been one of their dinners at the Ritz, except he had had black wings and Crowley had had white wings. He didn't know why they had both had their wings out. The second was a quick flash of Crowley as he came pelting into his book shop and knocking over a shelf of the new books Adam had conjured up for him to sell. A scene which had happened the other day.
But the third...the two of them had been walking through St. James' Park, and had just finished feeding the ducks their bread. No ducks had sunk, no duck went hungry either. It had just been him and the demon walking along one of the paths, going towards the Bentley so Crowley could drive him home. As they reached the car, he had been gently pushed against one of the old doors, and kissed less than chastely on the lips. It wasn't so much the kiss that had him waking up, more that it was how familiar the act had felt in the dream. Like as if it was a regular occurrence and their bodies had grown quite used to it.
He shook his head free of the strange thoughts the dream had brought to his mind, and slowly climbed out of the now too hot bed and shuffled his way out of the bedroom in search of the kitchen. He needed a drink. He would have made it too, if he had not been distracted by the utterly adorable scene of Crowley asleep on the couch.
Black hair was tousled in a way he had never seen it before, because of the demon's rather possessive need to stay neat and tidy at all times. Eyes were closed to the world around him, oblivious in his own dreams. One arm was dangling from the white leather couch, his pair of designer sunglasses clutched in the hand.
Aziraphale felt a smile of such warmth cover his face. The demon looked so...at peace in this moment. Ever since the Almost Apocalypse, he had been rather on edge, fearing that Beelzebub would make good on his promise and come to collect him to torture for the rest of forever. So far it had been as though both Heaven and Hell just wanted to forget about the whole incident,. and perhaps they had, with a little help from Adam.
He silently made his way over to the couch, slowly lowered himself to the ground and took the sunglasses gently from the hand holding them, before placing them on a table not too far away for safe keeping. The demon didn't so much as stir as he did so. He looked down at Crowley then and felt the warmth radiate through him. Crowley just looked...angelic like this. Wincing at the arm that was splayed about on the ground at an awkward angle that would hurt like...anything when the demon woke, Aziraphale carefully picked the arm up, pulled the doona down a bit and stared. While he had had felt self conscious just thinking about sleeping naked, it seemed that Crowley had no such qualms. Whether the demon was wearing pants he didn't know, but Aziraphale had a great view of his firm chest, rising and falling softly with breaths not even needed.
He must have squeezed Crowley's arm, as soon he was looking into the blinking yellow eyes of a snake. In a display that seemed so unlike him, Crowley gave a small yelp of surprise, grabbed at the blanket and covered himself. "Wha' you wan'" he muttered, leaving out the t's in his sleep muddled voice.
"I had...strange dreams and wanted to get a drink. You looked uncomfortable. I was only trying to help," he stated, suddenly feeling very foolish.
"'S alright. You just surprised me. Not used to having people in here but for me," Crowley stated, as his head cleared a bit. "A drink?"
Aziraphale nodded. Well, it had been his purpose of coming out here to begin with...wasn't it? Perhaps this was all some warped dream he was having and he hadn't yet woken. Suddenly the thought of being stuck in a dream terrified him. What if he wasn't awake? What if by some freak accident, he had died in his sleep? He didn't need to breathe, but his throat and chest were beginning to feel tight with lack of air.
"Breathe, angel," Crowley said, dragging his body against his own. For some odd reason, it began to make him calm down a bit, though he was left panting for breathe before he was able to follow the gentle rise and fall of the demons unnecessary breaths.
"What just happened?" Aziraphale asked when he was as calm as he was going to get.
Crowley buried his face into his hair and took a deep breath. "Panic attack. Or something like it. Damn you smell good right now."
"Er," Aziraphale answered, unsure as to what the demon was going on about. "Well, every once in a while I do have a bath..."
"Fear, angel. Not something I like on myself, but on you it is very nice...er, in a bad way of course. I mean, it is a bad thing what happened, but it makes you smell really good. Ngh, I will be quiet now..."
"Oh," was all the reply he had to that. So, it was a demonic thing. Well, that explained a bit really. The demon did seem to get excited over strange things. It was probably just in his nature.
He would have been able to forget about that if he wasn't suddenly uncomfortably aware of the fact that Crowley was indeed wearing no pants under the blanket. The way he discovered this was even more awkward and as usual his face began to flame bright red. He squirmed.
"Is that necessary?" Crowley asked, his voice a little tighter than normal. He had gone extremely still.
"Perhaps if you let me go I wouldn't be in this position!" he squeaked out.
Crowley laughed slightly. "Perhaps I want you in this position." This was followed by a kiss to the top of his head. And a shifting of hands and a slight movement of hips.
"Crowley, please...I cannot. I don't want to."
Crowley hissed slightly in his ear. "Then get off me then." The arms holding him down disappeared, and he found himself able to get off of the demon's lap. He stayed still for a few minutes longer before moving away from Crowley. He sat down on the couch next to the frowning demon.
He couldn't help it. He was...curious. "What does it feel like?" he asked, looking down slightly, a deeper colour red infusing his cheeks.
Crowley raised an eyebrow at him and smiled, the pupils of his eyes widening slightly, so they looked a little more round than their normal slitted selves. "You want to know what it feels like do you?"
"Not in that sense of the word...just...what does it feel like?"
Without another word, Crowley's smile become wicked and his hand shot out to grab his wrist and his hand met with bare skin that should by all rights not be as...hard as it was. His eyes widened.
"You can touch me, I don't mind at all," Crowley stated, his voice a bit breathless than usual.
Aziraphale was way out of his league here and he knew it. "What do I do then? I have never..."
A hand covered his own, and made it into a gentle fist. "Just...move."
He wasn't sure if he was doing this correctly or not, but he took the cue, and did as Crowley told him. A shiver passed its way through the demon. "Oh yeah, like that."
Somewhat heartened that he was doing something correctly, he let his muscles relax slightly and let them go on automatic pilot. This was so...repetitive. But, by the sounds the demon was making, it was also good. He hoped it was better than good, and immediately froze. Did he just think that?
"Damn you, don't stop!" Crowley managed to cry out, his arms coming up to clench at his back. If Crowley had had claws, they would have ripped into his flesh. As it was, his shirt tore.
A bit angry, Aziraphale began to move his hand again, frowning as it became damp. He found he could move his hand easier that way. Crowley's hands began scrabbling at his back, and he knew that he would have scratches there, claws or no. Was Crowley always this...violent? Hips began moving, thrusting into his hand.
What had started off as moans, which had turned into groans were now coming much sooner together, and Aziraphale couldn't help but snort in laughter at how much this suited the demon. He almost stopped again at the way his thoughts were working. He had to stop that now, else he may find himself just as Fallen as Crowley himself was.
Looking down at the demon, as his sweaty face looked up at the ceiling, a strange look of bliss on his face, Aziraphale wondered if he would want that? Not to Fall, but to...feel like that. It didn't look bad. Messy perhaps, but not bad.
"Oh...God!" shouted Crowley, before collapsing back to the couch. "I did not just say that," he panted a few minutes later.
Aziraphale glared. "You did." He looked down at his hand and grimaced. "Is it always so messy?" he asked, getting up and padding his way to the kitchen to wash the sticky mess off. He got a slight grunt as an answer. While he was in there, he got two glasses and miracled up a bottle of brandy. He needed that drink more than anything right now. He was still the colour of scarlet.
Walking back into the lounge room, he noted that Crowley was now dressed in a pair of pajama bottoms and was waiting for him, his sunglasses once again firmly in place over his eyes.
"You don't have to wear your glasses in front of me, you know," Aziraphale stated, handing the demon a glass and taking them off.
Crowley just shrugged, drank his glass, grabbed for the bottle and filled it up once again. "How do you feel about this?" he asked.
Aziraphale blinked. "I am unsure of what made me even accept the offer. I just...did."
Crowley smiled, and it wasn't like his usual ones either. It was more warm to begin with, in a good way, not infernally. It lit up his face from inside, and for the second time that night (or that morning depending on how you take time versus how dark it is outside) he was reminded that Crowley had used to be an angel. "Thanks. I needed something to help me relax. This whole night has done wonders for my mood. Hell will probably be wondering why I feel all warm and fuzzy inside."
Aziraphale couldn't help it. He laughed at the mental image of the bewildered look on the face of Beelzebub, who he had seen. Not a lot of demons had wandered by his path before. It must be very similar to the look on the Metatron's face when he had been having that chat with Adam. "If you get into trouble, say you were being...thwarted by an angel."
Crowley looked at him and begun laughing himself. "Will do."
All of a sudden, Aziraphale felt a whole lot more relaxed with what had just happened. And, as far as he knew, he hadn't fallen. He quickly let his wings out and checked their colour, just to be sure. They were still white.
Perhaps he wouldn't Fall for thinking like this and doing such things after all.
An entire world full of opportunities rose in his head.
The End...or, more fitting, the end of the beginning.
A/N - Thanks again goes to DragonEyeZ who got me writing this in only a few short hours (spanning a two day period) and got me thinking of a whole series of these things. Even though she has no idea who the characters are (she just seems to like them, which she right to do, I think.) Anyhow, as you can plainly see, from now on, these stories are going to be slashy in nature.
Well, hope you at least like this story (it IS a bit strange, but coming from my mind, that is to be expected). Please r/r if you liked it.