Something is wrong with the cookies on my computer and it has been causing problems with this site. I am trying to work on it now and update chapters that I have had saved for the past couple ofMONTHS or so. Thanks for the patience. Please review!

xoxo Jules

BTW: I dont recall whether or not I said that Peytons father had died, but hewill bein this story more likely than not.

Chapter 14: "There's got to be something better than in the middle"

Peyton leaned back and took a long drag of her cigarette. She had never imagined that life could get so hard. She had been to hell and back though for her children. She had dropped out of school and worked until her feet bled to keep food on the table and a roof over Spencers head, and then Lucas came and everything seemed like it would never be that hard again. He was her protection, her safety. He still was, they just needed to focus on their children. Their fighting and growing apart was only hurting their kids.

"Hey." A voice came from behind her. The same voice that she had fallen in love with years before in the mist of high school madness.

"Hey." Peyton said stomping out her cigarette. "I'm trying to quit, I swear." She said shooting Lucas a small smile.

"I know." Lucas said sitting on the park bench beside her.

"Tomorrow Gunner and I are going to Tree Hill to check things out. My dad is still there, . I think that I'm going to head back there, find a job yanno." Peyton said not meeting her husbands eyes.

"When are you going to leave?" Lucas asked

"The end of Summer. I just want to give the kids some more time here with their friends and all yanno?" Peyton said now squinting in the sunlight to look at Lucas. "I feel like I have a lot to make up for with them."

"Is this about Tessa?" Lucas asked

Peyton tensed up when Lucas mentioned Tessa. Nobody ever really talked about why Tessa was the way she was. Ever since she was a baby she was so sick, and had a severe immune deficiency due to the fact that she was extremely underdeveloped at her birth, or at least that's what they called it. Whenever Peyton looked at her daughter, innocent, fragile, she blamed herself. She blamed herself for smoking during the pregnancy.

"Yes, no, I don't know Luke! I mean some of it has gotta be, but now it is about so much more than that. It's about the fact that Tessa is just getting sicker, and Cody is spiraling downward, and poor Gunner hates ever damn day in this town and there's nothing that I can do to stop it Luke. Shit, we haven't even been around to try!" Peyton said breathless from her rant

"I want to be there for our kids too Peyt, but I can't do that if you guys are in Tree Hill. Please, just stay here."

"Lucas I need to get away from this place, all of us do. I never thought that I was going to be the one to flee back to Tree Hill but in retrospect it wasn't that horrible! Luke you can come with us…"

"The shop is here Peyton, I would never be able to support this family if I left now." Lucas said pained

"I know." Peyton said putting her head in her hands. "I know."

"I guess we each know what we have to do, for at least now anyway." Lucas said kissing her softly.

"Yeah, I guess we do. I love you." Peyton said looking up at her husband with a tear glistening in the corner of her eye.

"I love you too."

Spencer sat in the waiting room of the Tree Hill free clinic. He played with the zipper of his grey hoodie as he slouched back in his chair. Jenny had come in for a checkup.

Spencer watched as the familiar girl flew by him, her arms wrapped around herself. He squinted as the bright sun hit his eyes.

"Jenny!" He said chasing after her, "Jenny!" He tried again.

Ever so slowly Jenny turned to meet Spencer with tear stained eyes. Spencer had wanted to go back to the doctors with her, and be with her through everything… She hadn't let him.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked shoving his hands into his pockets and looking at the ground unsure of what to do or say.

"Am I OKAY?" Jenny asked "Seven tests all pink and a conformation just minutes ago by a doctor and you ask me if I'm OKAY!" Jenny bit her lower lip as she shifted her eyes downward. "I just need some time alone right now alright?" She asked meeting Spencers blue eyes.

"Yeah." Spencer said nodding rubbing the stubble that had just began to form below his chin

"Alright." Jenny said kissing him on the cheek before she headed in the other direction.

Peyton kept her eyes on the road as she pulled into Tree Hill with Gunner in the seat beside her. She slowed to a stop when they reached her childhood home where her father still resided.

"Ready?" Peyton asked Gunner as they stepped out of the car.

"Yeah." Gunner said stepping out of the car slinging his backpack over one shoulder. "Is grandpa here?"

"Should be." Peyton said pushing the door open to her old house. She was surprised to see Spencer sitting alone on the couch with his head in his hands. "Spence?" Peyton asked as she sat down her bag and approached her son. "You alright?"

When Spencer didn't respond Peyton sent Gunner upstairs to pick out which room he wanted.

"What's going on Spencer?" Peyton asked sitting down on the couch next to her teenage son.

Spencer slowly lifted his head from his hands and looked at his mother. His eyes were red and tired.

"Spence…" Peyton said. She had never seen her son like that before.

"I did something really stupid." Spencer said trying to contain himself not wanting to become hysterical.

"What happened?" Peyton asked figuring already that it had something to do with Jenny.

"I, … well, I mean, I never thought that I would have-, it's just… Jenny's pregnant mom." Spencer said finally meeting his mothers eye.

He was surprised when he didn't get a reaction from her, not at first at least, but it was almost more scary that her yelling.

"How could you let this happen Spencer? HOW?" Peyton yelled

"I didn't mean-" Spencer began but he was cut off by his mother

"What have I told you your entire life? What have I stressed this entire time? I never wanted you to have to go through what we did! I told you time and time again Spence. You have no idea what is in store for you." Peyton said resisting the urge to yell.

"It's going to be fine mom, we'll get married and we will finish school and I will get a job!"

"How Spencer? Huh? It seems so easy in your head. You're a child!" Peyton said trying to portray the gravity of the situation to him.

"Well you did it didn't you?" Spencer asked putting his head back in his hands.

"Yeah I did… barely. It was the hardest thing that I ever did Spencer, watching you go without, watching you have to sit in a stuffy diner all day, not being able to give you everything that you deserve. Don't think that means for a moment I regret having you, I just wish that you had come in a time in my life where I was ready, where I was grown up. I was raising myself and you at the same time… I just don't want you, or Jenny to have to struggle." Peyton said forcing back tears

"I'm sorry mom." Spencer said looking at his stone faced mother

Peyton sighed.

"How is Jenny doing?" She asked easing back into the couch

"I don't know. She's just wanted to be alone since we found out yanno?" Spencer said

Peyton looked at her distraught son. He was only seventeen, the age that she had been.

"She's going to need you." Was all that Peyton could say

"I know, she's just not letting me be there." Spencer sighed. "By the way mom, what are you doing here?"

With everything that had been going on she had somehow failed to mention that she was moving back to Tree Hill.

"Your dad and I have been having some issues and so we're taking a little break."

"When you say taking a break is that indefinite?" Spencer raised his eyebrow

"No, I never said that, it's just a break."

"So you are here visiting?" Spencer asked

"No…" Peyton said drawing out her words "I am here with Gunner to show him around before we move."

"What! You are moving to Tree Hill!" Spencer said in shock

"Yerp, at the end of the summer."

"How are Gunner and the girls handling it?"

"Pretty well actually." She brushed a curl from in front of her eye. "I think that Gunner and Cody need a change and Tessa … well Tessa is Tessa." Peyton smiled thankful for the easy nature of her youngest daughter.

Spencer nodded.

"What about Dad… what's he going to do?"

"I don't know hun, I guess that's for your dad to figure out." Peyton sighed and then smirked.

"What?" Spencer asked

"Nothing," She smirked again, "it's just that I am too young to be a grandmother."