The Smell of the Ocean
I DON'T OWN ANYTHING FROM THE SHOW!
a/n- I know she died fast, but I needed that to happen. In the beginning, the her was Lilly, like her cousin and her sister it meant Lilly, I just didn't want to give away it wasn't Shelby yet.
Chapter 3
Shelby yawned and rubbed her eyes as she began to wake up. She turned over and noticed first that the blanket was placed over her, and second that Scott was gone. Shelby slowly got up and walked out of the room; the first thing she heard was Scott's voice. When she continued walking, Shelby spotted him in the kitchen talking on the phone, drinking a cup of water. Shelby turned on the coffee machine and began to make a pot as she silently listened to Scott talk.
"I know...no I know Bob...Tomorrow? Already?...Ok...What time?...1:00 alright...No I know what dress...yea I'll get it down there...yea I know before then...Don't worry, I'll handle it Bob...Ok...thanks...no, yea I'm alright, how about you and Kathy? Yea, I undersand...I'm sorry again...I know...Ok...you too...Bye." Scott hung up sighing
Shelby looked at him, "Was that her father?"
Scott just nodded, "Listen I have to look for one of her dresses because her uncle owns a funeral home and her father made the wake tomorrow. But..umm...would it be possible for you to bring it down there for me? Please?" He asked, eyes begging
"Of course Scott. Tomorrow I'll pick you up and well go together ok? You won't be alone Scott, it's going to be ok."
"Thanks Shel."
"Don't even mention it. Do you want a cup of coffee?"
"No thanks, I have to go and find the dress."
"Alright."
Scott walked out of the room and Shelby turned around and poured herself a cup of coffee, she still needed a cup to make it through the day. She walked to the refrigerator and opened it looking for something she could eat, but the first thing she spotted was a clear bottle. Shelby pulled it out and read the blue Smirmoff label. She looked quickly to the cup Scott had left behind and picked it up. Shelby took a sip and quickly spit it into the sink. Scott had been drinking vodka. She looked at the bottle again and noticed that it was almost completely empty, so she poured the remaining contents down the drain. Shelby looked in the direction Scott had disapeared to and stared sadly at the thought of his pain.
Scott sat on his bed staring at the closed closet door. He couldn't even imagine the Lilly was dead, all he could think of was that if he had just stayed calm like she made him promise, that she would still be alive. Now his wife was dead, and he had to find the blue dress that was her favorite. The blue dress she had worn the day he proposed to her at their favorite restorant.
Scott stared across at his girlfriend, he knew what the little red box in his pocket held, he knew what he would say, the only thing he didn't know was what her reaction would be.
After they had eaten their dinner, Scott looked into her eyes. She was smiling at him and her eyes read nothing but love. Scott knew it was time. He took her hand.
"Lil?"
"Yea?"
"I love you."
Her smile became even brighter, "I love you too Scott."
Scott took a deep breathe, he moved to the side of her and got down on one knee. Her face lit up in shock.
"Lilly, I love you so much, and I know that I am a better man because I have met you. I couldn't see my life with anyone but you. Because of that, I want to ask you a question." He said nervously
She had tears in her eyes, "Yea?"
"I wanted to know, will you do me the honor of spending the rest of your life with me? Will you marry me?" He opened the box and took out the ring.
Lilly's smile was never bigger, she had tears running all over her face, "Nothing would make me happier!"
Scott placed the ring on her finger, and she hugged him tight. Scott's only thought was that he was the luckiest man in the world.
Scott's eyes were full of tears, he was looking for the dress without any luck. He knew she wouldn't throw it out, she always talked about how amazing she felt while wearing it. Scott looked on the shelf on the top of the closet, he saw the blue material, and reached up and pulled on it. Along with the dress, a shoebox fell. When he turned to pick it up, Scott saw that the contents, about twenty letters and cards, had fallen out.
Scott looked at them confused and as he was about to pick one up, the was a noise, when he turned, Scott saw Shelby.
"Hey, what's up?" He asked
"I just wanted to check on you. Is everything alright?" She asked looking at the mess of letters
"Yea, I just...they fell."
"Oh, do you want me to help you pick them up?"
"No, that's alright...I found the dress." He showed it to her
"Here, I'll take it," He handed it to her, "You should try and get some rest ok?"
Scott just nodded, he was looking at the ground.
"Scott?" He looked up at her, "Are you alright?"
He shook his head, his eyes filling with tears, "I don't know what to do." He said sounding like a lost little boy
Shelby walked to him and put her arms around his neck rubbing his back while he broke down. "Let it out Scott, its ok." She kept saying.
Twenty minutes later, Shelby was gone and Scott stood in the middle of his bedroom in the middle of his empty apartment. He had no idea what was expected of him now. Scott looked down and saw the letters and cards that had fallen from the closet. He sat on the floor and grabbed a card that had a bear on the front, he turned it around a read:
Lilly,
I miss you already and it's only been one day. I can't wait until you can get more free time so we can be together again.
Love, Marc
Scott's hands started shaking, these were love letters. These were the letters another man wrote his wife. The free time was time away from him.
Scott stood up immediatly and backed away. He stared at them and then walked ot of the room and into the kitchen; His drink was gone, the bottle was gone. Scott started to search the cabinets for something...something strong. He came upon more vodka, lots of vodka. Lilly's favorite drink was a screwdriver, so they had kept alot of it in the house. He grabbed as many bottles as was possible and brought them into his bedroom. Scott sat on the floor infront of the letters and opened the first bottle. He took a long sip and opened a letter as the harsh liquid burned his throat:
Lilly,
Last night was so amazing. Can you believe it has been two months already? I'm so excited for April 27th, a whole weekend together!
Scott's put down the letter. April 27 Lilly had told him that she had a buiness trip. He took a few more sips a continued to read the letters of his wife's secret life. The life she had kept hidden for so long. Scott picked up a final letter, he had gone through two bottles, and seemed in no way finished. He took the letter addressed to his wife out of the envelope...
Lilly,
This is the last letter I will write to you. Although you have decided to end our relationship, I want to ask you once more if you will reconsider? Please, I love you, and I know you love me. Won't you just leave him for me?I know your not happy with him. Please write me back and tell me you have changed you mind.
Love(now and always)
Marc
Scott stared at the letter. As he read each word, hate grew inside of him. The hate was directed at this man, this Marc. He wracked his brain for any Marc that he knew of. Then it hit him:
Scott had just arrived home, to his suprise, he walked into an empty apartment. He entered the kitchen and grabbed a coke from the fridge and walked over to the tv. As he watched it, Scott's fears began to grow. His wife was always home before him, and it was not like her to just not call. Twenty minutes into watching the news, the phone rang. Scott raced to pick it up.
"Hello?" He said nervously into the reciever
"Scott?"
His fears vanished, "Lilly! Are you alright?"
"Yea I'm sorry, I lost track of time."
He smiled at her tone of voice, it was engulfed in sorry, "Don't worry, everything's ok...So what are you doing?"
"Oh...I'm umm...getting ready to come home actually. I had to stay late to do some work for a presentation tomorrow."
"I hate the thought of you being all alone in your office." He said sweetly
"Oh, actually I wasn't...one of my collegues...Marc...stayed too."
"That's good, I'm glad." He said honestly
Scott was saddened by his naive hopes of her innocent sounding voice. He hadn't taken notice to how she would stay at the office later, how buisness trips seemed to pop up more, how when she had introduced him to a Marc at her Christmas office party, she had disappeared for some time; telling him later she had gotten sick.
He didn't want to think of Lilly or Marc, the wake or the funeral. Scott wanted all of his pain to go away, and for the second time in his life, he gave up the idea of dealing with it in the "right" way. He wanted instant comfort, and the only way he could seem to find any lay at the bottom of the vodka bottles. When he finished them, Scott began grabbing any and all containers that held any percentage of alcohol.
As Scott's intoxication grew, he was forgetting all of his problems, and when he tripped over a bottle in his bedroom and fell, the only thoughts that were passing through his mind as he began to black out were of Shelby. There were no thoughts of Lilly or Marc or the letters, he could only think of Shelby.
"Scott?" He heard a voice calling him, "Oh Scott, come on, wake up." He felt someone shaking him gently, then start to tap his cheek, "I knew I shouldn't have left you alone."
Scott opened his eyes, the curtain had been pulled back and the room was light, he immediatly closed his eyes to save himself from the headache already building up.
"Here." He felt two small pills being shoved into his hand. He wished for them to be anything strong enough to make his feel like he did only a few hours ago, but when he looked into his palm, two Advils were present. Their orange color mocking him in saying that he would have to suffer.
"Drink this with them." Scott took the cup of clear liquid and was upset to find out it was only water.
He slowly sat up on his floor and leaned against his bed watching Shelby as she threw countless empty liquor bottles in the garbage can she carried. When the can was full. She walked out of the room. Returning minutes later with two cups that were steaming. She handed one to Scott and sat down beside him. He stared at anything other that her disappointed gaze.
When she realized he wasn't going to speak, Shelby sighed then said, "What happened Scott? You haven't drank since you ran away that first time," She said referring to his first day at Horizon, "What happened?" She asked in a tone that told him she was upset for him and not at him.
Scott finally looked up into her blue eyes, "I don't know." Was his answer
"Scott talk to me!"
"I don't know alright! Not everything has an answer ok?" He said frustrated
She looked at him and rolled her eyes, "Scott you are so thick headed, do you know that?"
He smiled, "So I've been told."
She smiled too, but soon her mood became serious again, "You can't deal like this."
"Shelby can we just talk about something else right now? Please?" He didn't want to listen to her preaching to him
She sighed again, "Alright," Looking at her watched she began to speak again, "You need to get ready."
"What time is it?"
"12:45."
Scott jumped up but quickly sat back on the floor, feeling quite natious.
"Are you going to throw up?" Shelby asked quickly
He just nodded, and Shelby helped him up and into the bathroom. She stayed with him and rubbed his back until he felt better. When he was finally able to stand by himself, he went into the shower bu only after promising Shelby he would call her if he needed her.
When Scott got out of the shower and walked to his room to get dressed, he found a black suit laying out already. He quickly got dressed and was soon sitting in a car silently next to Shelby.
Shelby kept glancing over at Scott with a worried look on her face, and soon he started to notice.
"What is it Shel?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing? You've been looking at me every five minutes, what's up?"
"I'm just trying to read what your feeling."
"My wife is dead, how do you think I'm feeling?" He snapped and immediatly felt bad
"Scott I know you're hurting, more than I can even imagine, but I would appreciate you not snapping at me." She said not angry
"Sorry." He rubbed his temples then dropped his hands and stared out the window.
When they finally reached the funeral home, Shelby pulled into a parking spot but neither of the two moved. Scott stared at various people walking into the building, wanting to pay their respects. Then Scott began to wonder if some of them knew that she was cheating on him. Maybe everybody had known, maybe he was the laughing stock of all her friends, that he couldn't figure out what was happening right in front of him. Then he felt a hand in his, he turned to look at Shelby.
"I meant what I said, you won't be alone in this," He just nodded, "Ready?"
"Not really, but I don't think there's really a choice."
She smiled sypathetically, and the slowly got out of the car and walked to the building, through the doors, and found the room, with Lilly's name on it. He walked through and went he looked towards the back of the room, he could see her laying there. His breathe caught in his throat, the tears were beginning to form, he could feel his heart being ripped out again. Shelby could feel his body tensing, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it, when both of their names were called, they turned around to be met with Peter's sad face.
"Scott, I'm sorry for your loss." Peter said
Scott just nodded, not trusting his voice, afraid it would be the leader of the tears falling. Sophie soon joined them, but she immediatly took Scott in a hug, like a mother would do for her son, as Sophie felt like Scott was. He held her tightly, his mother not able to attend, living in New Mexico, he had always felt that Sophie was like a mother; she had raised him and had been there for him during the toughest time of his life. As she hugged him, Sophie rubbed his back supportinly, "I'm so sorry." She whispered and again Scott couldn't stop them, the bitter salt water that fell from his eyes. His tears fell silently, and he tried to squeeze his eyes close, forcing them back to no avail.
When he opened his eyes, Scott saw something, someone rather that made his blood boil. Anger rose, he could feel the hate through out his entire body. Slowly, Scott backed away from Sophie and without looking at her, Peter, or Shelby, he said, "Excuse me."
As he walked away, Peter turned to Shelby, "How has he been?"
Shelby sighed,"Horrible. He's a mess, and it's just getting worse."
Scott stormed over, across to the right side of the room, ignoring his name being called, and walked right behind the person he felt nothing but hate and disgust for.
"Marc." The word was said with venom
The man turned around and before he could even blink, Scott had punched him and was ready to jump on top of him. Two men grabbed Scott and held him back as another helped Marc up. Scott was in hysterics, screaming and crying.
"HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK TO COME HERE! YOU BASTARD, YOU DISGUST ME."
"Scott calm down." Peter had stepped in between the two men
" CALM DOWN? THAT SON OF A BITCH SLEEPS WITH MY WIFE THEN HAS THE NERVE TO COME HERE, I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" He was fighting with the four men now trying to how him back, Marc staring at him horrified, and the rest of the people staring between Marc and Scott shocked, not sure whether or not to believe what Scott had said.
Scott was finally dragged outside and he sat on the steps trying to calm down, but he was far too worked up. Scott jumped up, ran to Shelby's car, and sat in the driver's seat. He found the keys under her seat, started the ignition, and was soon driving aimlessly. When he had driven more than an hour, Scott spotted a sign that read BAR in bright red flouresent letters with a bright blue backround. Scott pulled into the parking lot.
When he walked in, the bar was dark and empty, just as he hoped it would be. Scott ordered a Scotch, and waited for it to take it's effects like the other drinks had the night before. Like the drugs had so many years ago.
a/n- thank you for all the reviews! please review for this chapter also! i'm going away on Sunday, I'll probably be able to review, but not post...if i get a chance to i will though for either this or Promises:-) I hope you like this chapter!