Chapter 3
At All Costs

She hadn't even gotten out of the car and he was already yelling at her.

You may be a Gundam pilot but I'm in charge around here and you will do as I say! said Rowen, his barking attracting the crew's attention as they all stood around, curious of what would happen next.

She wasn't sure if he was really trying to discipline her or if he was trying to remind everyone who was in charge. Deep down, she wanted to tell him to go to hell, but she could see the warning look on Heero's face, and knew better.

I only wanted to go out for a bit. It's something I always do before a battle. I never know if I will live through one or not, and I wanted to see the bay. I do apoligize if I caused you any trouble. She bowed, an action she was tired of repeating.

Rowen grunted, pleased that she had lowered her head. Next time ask permission. He turned to the crew and spoke, Alright everyone back to work! Tonight we strike OZ!

They cheered with anticipation of the victory. Kasen glared at Heero, her expression making clear what she had not said with words. She stormed up the stairs, retrieving to the room she was temporarily occupying and slammed the door behind her.

Heero knew that he was the last person she wanted to see, but he followed her anyway. He tried the door, which fortunately could only be locked on the outside by a key and entered, not caring if she threw something at him.

She sat on the window sill, hugging her knees, the lower half of her face buried. I can't stand doing this.Kasen if you had just stayed put...

She lifted her head up, turning to face him. It doesn't matter. That's not the problem. Im tired of doing what other people want me to do. i'm tired of being bossed around. I thought that I was free from that, but all I've done is move somewhere else, and be harassed by someone else.Kasen, it's just for one more day. After this we'll leave.And then what? Take more orders?Yes that's what soldiers do.Of coarse. Don't think, don't ask, just kill. That's what you do right? Aren't you tired Heero? Aren't you tired of being a puppet?I know what you want. You want me to forget about the colonies. Just fight for what I believe in. But it's not that simple. What difference can you and I make? Even if they other pilots joined us, that's six against two seperate armies. It's impossible even with the Gundams.

Kasen stared at the floor, knowing that he had a point, though she would not dare admit it.

Besides, I do care about the colonies. That's why I'm here. The colonies want the same thing you do. Freedom.I don't trust the colonies, but I do trust you. That's why I'm here.Then do me a favor, and stay here until I come get you.

She let out a heavy sigh, feeling defeated. Thank you. If this goes off without a hitch, we might stop a war before it starts. said Dagon from the doorway, We need you downstairs.

He looked back at Kasen. Just trust me.

She put on smile and watched the two of them leave. Sitting there alone, the lack of sleep finally hit her as she curled up on the bed, hugging the pillow and she drifting off.

Sir, everything is ready, said an officer.

Good. There's one more thing I would like for you to do for me, said Rowen.

What's that sir?Lock that girl in her room. i don't want any more trouble from her.But sir, isn't she a Gundam pilot? Don't we need her?Heero preferred if she stay here, but I don't trust her. So lock her in so she can't leave.Alright sir.

She woke up suddenly, finding that the world had changed from day to night. She stood up to stretch. Wanting to go outside and feel the cool bay breeze she grabbed the doorknob, but found resistance.

Locked...what in the hell? Well I can fix that. She pulled out two bobby pins from her pockets, using them to pick the lock. After a few attempts, there was a click of success.

Cautiously, she opened the door. Finding the hallway clear, she went down to the warehouse, where chaos had ensued. People ran around shouting out orders. She knew that something had gone wrong.

She ran down the stairs, not caring in anyone saw her. She wouldn't let anyone stop her now. As she headed for the Gundam, Rowen intervined her path.

Now just where do you think you're going?You know where. What happened?Things didn't go as planned. He didn't want to say it but he knew it was the truth. It was a trap.I'm going after him.I'm afraid I can't let you do that. This base is on a lock down. No one is entering and no one is leaving.We'll see about that. Before he could react, she jammed her right knee into his side, sending him to the ground.

She rode the lift up to the cockpit and closed it once inside, starting the engines up.

You better open the door because if you don't I'll blast it open and then you'll be completely defenseless. She said over the intercom.

Caught, they opened the door and let her go, having no choice in the matter. The Gundam sped off. She tracked the other Gundams on the radar. Thankfully, all five of them showed up. She only hoped that she could get there in time.

Lady Une, happy that she had an advantage over the gundams, spoke loudly on the intercom. Attention all gundam pilots. We have a missile attack targeted on one of the colonies. We will fire unless you give up your gundams.They've targeted the colonies? said Quatre.

Lady Une, we are receiving a message from one of the colonies. said an officer.

Put it on. An image of an old man appeared on the base's screens.

I never would have guessed that OZ would have gone so low. Then again, I see that you will do anything to win.You must be the one who is in charge of the meteor project. Well, will you surrender?Yes, I surrender, but I will not give up the gundams.

Heero knew only one way to fix the problem. He would not surrender, and the task would give the others some time to reteat.

A sixth Gundam appeared, stopping where the others hovered in the air. He knew it was her, but he went witht he plan anyway. Stepping out of gundam, the detonation device in his hand he said something that no one could hear, and pressed the button. The gundam exploded into millions of pieces, parts shattered everywhere on the black stained field.

Kasen's heart had snapped. Her eyes filled with tears, and her breathing stuttered. She put her hands over her mouth, in some way to calm herself. No...he's not dead! He can't be! She opened the door of the cockpit and leaped out.

What the hell is she thinking? said Duo.

Kasen ran off to her right, just hoping that she would find him. A hill stood in front of her, but she kept going. Even as that hill seemed more like a mountain, she crawled her way up. It was really a mount of dirt and dust, which surrounded the entire area. Each time she dug her hands into the hill, dust flew, and sand skittered down, making it difficult to even climb a few inches. But she would not give up. She was driven to go on, no matter what. Going faster, she could finally see over the top. She glanced everywhere, but it wasn't until she looked to her far left, that she found Heero, lying on the ground on his back.

She was in such a hurry that her foot slipped and she slide down the hill. Tumbling and rolling, making a cloud of dust as she fell. The sand got in her mouth making it hard to breathe. She didn't stop rolling until she reached the very bottom. For a few seconds she lied there, trying to catch her breath. The dust made her cough, but it was her stubbornness that made her get back up and help Heero.

Kasen crept up to the lying body. By his side she sat next to him and carefully picked him up into her arms. Still conscious, he looked up at her and said,

He raised his hand, as if he was going to touch her face, but he had no more energy to do so. Instead, the hand dropped and he went unconscious.

She started to cry as she hugged him, Don't leave me again.

Everyone else remained in silence, shocked by what he had done.

Why did you do that Heero? said Quatre to himself.

How strange. That boy self detonated and then she runs after him, said Lady Une,
Stiles, take her out now that she is vulnerable.No Cornel. Nione stopped her, You've done enough damage today.The only one who should be taking orders is you.Trieze is the one who said it. He said to leave the girl alone.Oh really? Next time you will let me know right away if you speak to him. I don't need a messenger to tell me what he said.Perhaps next time you won't make orders against Trieze's own wishes.

Lady Une ignored her comment and left the room.

Kasen stayed there, pouring her broken heart out. She had wished that she could have found him sooner, and been able to stop him. She wanted to yell out loud and curse the stars, but she was so overwhelmed with sorrow that she couldn't form any words.

Her wailing was drowned out by machinery as an enormous shadow looming over her. She looked up to see the Heavy Arms standing a few feet away.

Kasen, if you can pull yourself together, I might be able to help him.

Nodding her head, Kasen calmed herself, left Heero and headed to her Gundam, while the Heavy Arms picked Heero up in it's gigantic hand.

As she closed the door, a voice came on the intercom.

Hey Kasen...Don't bother me Duo. Just leave me alone. She turned the intercom off and flew after the Heavy Arms.

Hey guys. Let's get out of here. There is nothing we can do right now, said Quatre.

Yeah, your right, said Wufei. He left out on his own, as he always did.

Duo, you want to come with me? asked Quatre, I know a place we can hang low for awhile.Yeah sure. It's not like I have anywhere to go anyway.

The Heavy Arms was loaded on a truck. Trowa drove, and Kasen held Heero in her arms. She would caress his hair, gently touch his face with the back of her hand.

All the while Trowa couldn't help but wonder. Why is she so attached to him? They must be more than just friends...

Two months had flown by, yet Heero never woke. Although, Kasen didn't care. She would wait a million years for him. They had been staying with a traveling circus, some friends of Trowa's for the time being. When she wasn't watching over Heero, she was petting the animals. They gave her some minor joy even though she hated seen them behind cages. The days began to become an enemy as they slowed down each time the sun rose. Every night she would go outside and look at the stars. Just looking for some form of hope.

Catherine made some soup, if you want any, said Trowa.

No, but thanks anyway.You can't just not eat.It doesn't matter if I do or not. I have lost everything. She acted as if she was a Juliet ready to die.

What makes you say that?It's the truth. You know, I have never wanted anything, except to be free. To be happy. It seems that I can't even have something as simple as that.If it was so simple you would already have it.I use to have everything. But I threw it all away. I was so stupid back then.What happened?I ran away from home. Though, by the time I left it wasn't a home any more. Just a house. My home burned down a long time ago.I would be grateful to ever have a home.I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound ungrateful...It's okay, I know what you meant. Tell me, why did you run away?Because I felt useless, just like I do now.You know, people use to think the moon was useless, but it plays a key role in all of our lives. Just because we don't directly recieve its rewards doesn't mean that they aren't there. He glanced a smile her way, trying to cheer her up, The Moon can change our world dramatically.But the Moon is scarred. Kasen looked up at the dim sun, hating their similar traits.

He could see that it wasn't working. So it is.I'm sorry for being so morbid. I suppose I don't make very good company.Don't worry about it. You have a good reason to be.Hey you too, why don't you come inside and have somethin to eat? said Catherine, her head sticking out past the door to keep out the chily night air. I didn't make it for nothin ya know.Unsecond thought, maybe I will. I wouldn't want your efforts to go to waste.Well at least someone appreciates me. How bout you Trowa? Or are you gonna stand outside in the cold all night?I would never pass up your food Catherine.

Kasen went past Catherine, who stopped Trowa before he could enter.

Hey Trowa, is there something going on between Kasen and Heero? I'm mean, she seems really worried about him.I'm not sure. But I have a feeling that in time we will find out.

Blackness. It was all he could see until he opened his eyes. The light stung his eyes, having gone so long without color. Tilting his head sideways, the first thing he saw was Atassa, her head resting on the edge of the bed, sleeping still.

Hey, you're finally up, said Trowa, You know, she has been there every night. She must really care about you.Yeah, I know. How long have I been out?Two months.Mind filling me in?Nothing has really happened. OZ is still at their plans, but not one of the others have fought back.

Kasen woke up, and her face lit up to see him. Oh Heero! She hugged him.

Ow, take it easy.Oh you deserve it. What were you thinking?Seemed like a good idea at the time.You almost broke your promise. I thought I had lost you forever.You worry too much. She glared at him for such a remark, but he only laughed.

It was only one day after Heero had finally awoke, and yet he wanted to leave. He and Trowa loaded up a truck, the car idling as Kasen ran up to the passenger side.

Where are you going? she said.

There is something I have to do.Let me guess, you want me to stay here.Don't worry it's nothing dangerous. Why don't you go and have fun like you said you would. He and Trowa drove off towards the morning sun.

She watched the car disappear into the horizon, thinking out loud. Maybe I will..