Why hello there! I'm General Subwoofer, here to share my first fan fiction ever! Now, because its my first, feel free to give constructive criticism so I can improve my work in anyway. So about the fic… well, I was thinking the other day, "I wonder if the bad guys underlings had other, stupid reasons for attacking our beloved group of heroes?" and "I wonder what Nergal does in his spare time when he's not taunting our said band of heroes?" So I put 2 and 2 together, and got the idea to write this. So anyway, please read and review

Disclaimer- I do not own Fire Emblem. Nintendo owns Fire Emblem. Please do not sue me.

Well, here goes nothing…

Chapter 1- Evil Plans Aplenty

(1 year before Lyn's adventure)

It was a dark and stormy night on the Dread Isle, Valor. In the forlorn citadel of the Dragon's Gate, a figure in dark robes was sprawled out over a rather uncomfortable- looking armchair in a deep sleep, snoring very loudly. All was still in the room, with large black books thrown all over the ground, when suddenly, in the dim light, a man with a dark hood walked in.

"This is a message from kitchen staff: Your roast duck is finished, Lord Nergal." The mysterious man said in an obnoxiously loud, robotic tone.

Nergal bolted out of sleep and fumbled for his copy of Ereshkigal. "Wha… what… Oh, its you, Denning. Yes, thank you for your message."

Denning quickly walked out of the room, and Nergal was left slumped over his desk.

"Sheesh." He thought. "My life is so boring! I haven't thought of an evil plan in years!" He then looked at all the books scattered over the ground. "And I haven't read a new book in ages. My old pen pal Teador's always telling me to read Eclipse, but it's always sold out at Ostia Book Emporium…" Lost in his own thoughts, Nergal slowly got more and more drowsy. (He didn't have to eat his dinner, because he wasn't really mortal. He just did it to put his morphs to work.) Finally he fell into sleep, dreaming evil dreams…

"Denning! Get over here!" Nergal hollered. Nergal had woken up, and he had a look of urgency and excitement on his face that just read "I have a really evil plan cooking up…"

Denning quickly came to his master's side. "This is a message from Denning: What is it you request, my lord?"

"Go and fetch Ephidel, Limstella, and Sonia. I have assignments for them." Nergal said

Denning went off again, 10 minutes later, came back with Nergal's best morphs.

"I hope this is important, Master Nergal! I was in the middle of gloating my superiority and insulting all of the others." The whiny Sonia complained.

"Oh, don't worry, my servants. It is very important. You see, recently had a most peculiar dream. It involved these Dragons, and some person with green hair…, and some shadowy assassins, and two other guys with the green haired one… and me getting wicked powerful and burning all my enemies to a delightful medium rare crisp."

The morphs were silent for a long time as Nergal smiled and waited for an answer.

"Are you sure that turban doesn't have some sort of magical hallucination dust sprinkled in it?" Ephidel said with a sneer.

Nergal became enraged. "HEY! No sarcasm! I thought Kishuna was the only one I made with a personality!"

"Where is Kishuna, by the way?" Ephidel asked.

"Chapter 23x- Genisis, if I'm not mistaken. Which I never am, mind you." Sonia replied.

"Or it could be Chapter 22x if you're playing Hector mode." Limstella said monotonously.

"He also might be in Chapter 19x- Imprisoner of Magic." Ephidel added.

"This is a message from Denning: Don't forget about Chapter 32x- The Value of Life."

"WILL YOU SHUT UP AND ANSWER MY STUPID QUESTION! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT." Nergal yelled in a fit of rage, then proceeding to annihilate an armchair with his dark magic.

There was a long pause as the dust cleared, until Limstella spoke up. "Master, what does your dream have to do with us?"

"Ah, yes. So I went through all the tidbits of my dream, until I realized what it meant: I'm going to take over the world!" Nergal yelled as he struck a dramatic pose.

"Lord Nergal, you always try to take over the world, but your plans are always destroyed by the laws of physics!" Sonia whined.

"Ah, but this will be different! You see, I figured a few things out, and I need your help to bring my prophecy to life." Nergal turned to Ephidel. "First, Ephidel. You will get as many generic fighters under my command as possible. Bandits, mercenaries, anything. I will give you further instructions after you have completed the task at hand."

"I don't understand why I doing this, but alright." Ephidel muttered as he did his teleport thing, vanishing in a puff of smoke.

Nergal then turned to Limstella. "Limstella, I need you to gather lots of quintessence for me. That means murdering pretty much everyone you see."

"As you wish, my Lord." Limstella said in her usual robotic monotone voice as she suddenly vanished from the room.

Sonia ran to Nergal and put on a puppy dog face. "Lord Nergal! You have a job for me, right?"

"Of course Sonia! You will find the nearest group of assassins, and pretend to love their leader. I don't care if he's the ugliest man in the world, we need to get the assassins on our side."

"That's pretty specific…" Sonia began

"Silence! It is part of…The Prophecy!" Nergal announced, adding a dramatic pause in his proclamation. (It's a little known fact that Nergal wanted to go to the Araphen Academy of Arts and Theater, but was rejected. That began his slow descend into villainy and/or incompetence.)

"Hmph! I hate this job, but if it serves you well, Master, I will do it. I am your best servant, after all! Tee-hee!" Sonia also disappeared in a flash.

"Denning!" Nergal cried. Denning rushed to his side. " Check to see if any of my book orders came yet." Denning gave a salute and scurried off.

Nergal walked out to his balcony overlooking the island and sea and smiled. "Yes, soon, all of Elibe will be mine. And this time, I won't make any stupid mistakes… like the last three hundred and… what was it again"

'Seventy- three, if I remember correctly." Ephidel said dryly behind Nergal.

Nergal bolted up and spun around, confused. "What… Ephidel! I told you to leave! Stop listening to my private ramblings all the time! Wait… how much do you hear! Are you always skulking around like that! You… don't know about the whole Denning thing… do you? …Ephidel… Where'd you go!"

Of course, Ephidel had already fled the place, chuckling at his master's insecurities.

Nergal continued to search for the shadowy morph, but then just gave up, disgusted. "Ugh! I'm going to bed. No one respects me around here…" he growled as he marched off into his room.

What are Nergal's plans? Will he ever get the respect he deserves? And why is Sonia always so scorned and annoying? Find out (maybe), in the next chapter of… The Dark Ways of Nergal!

Short chapter, I know. If you want please review. It would really help me out. See you later

-General Subwoofer