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Lunian blinked as Legolas looked at her. What was that? She had no more answer now than she'd had the morning she'd first been able to clearly see the soft light shining in his eyes.

She didn't have much longer to figure it out, since he'd been called back to Mirkwood. He would leave in five days, and she still didn't have a clue. It was driving her crazy, to put it mildly. Since she always picked up on emotions, she thought she would know them all, but it appeared she was wrong.

She frowned as she walked, the stone being worried in her hand as she thought about it, and all the feelings she was picking up to go with it. Joy, hope, peace, almost ecstasy, but it was all being constantly countered by pain, sorrow, fear, defeat. Grief. Yet the positive emotions always seemed to be winning, keeping a sparkle of a smile in his eyes along with that light.

Whenever she was near him the feelings washed over her, and sometimes just seeing his eyes was enough to engulf her in them from across the garden.

Oddly enough, it made her think of comfort, warmth and security, like being wrapped in his cloak and arms had done on the trip back home. Remembering that feeling made her feel cold and empty, so she absently wrapped her arms around her.

A cloak settled over her shoulders, smelling of the forests. She smiled and looked over her shoulder to see him, drowning in that blue glow. "Thank you."

His smile warmed her as much as his cloak. It said he was glad to be able to do anything that pleased or helped her. "You are quite welcome, Milady." After bowing his head slightly he remained where he was, though she began walking on.

When she realized he hadn't followed, she glanced at him over her shoulder. "Walk with me?"

"As you wish," he agreed softly, coming to her side in an instant. The good half of the feelings she was picking up from him overwhelmed her, lifting her spirit even though it increased her confusion.

They walked in silence, broken only by the birds that flew over their heads or the skitter of squirrels who were frantically getting ready for winter. "Aren't you usually practicing now?" she asked suddenly, for the idea had just occurred to her.

"Usually. But I'm expecting a messenger to arrive from Mirkwood today. I wished to be on hand when he arrived."

"I thought you were going home soon."

"That's what the message will decide."

"Do you want to stay, or go?"

He frowned faintly. "While I would like to see Mirkwood and my father, I would also like to remain here for a while."

She started to ask why, but she had a feeling it would only confuse her farther, so she remained silent. Before they had finished their round of the gardens the sound of hooves entered the courtyard, so they walked there together.

The messenger bowed to Legolas, then handed him a paper sealed with wax and the royal seal. Legolas broke it quickly, scanning the message. He sighed softly, refolding the message. "Very well. If there is no pressing need for your return, we shall ride out together." The messenger nodded and turned away, following a serving elf to the room prepared for him. Legolas folded the paper over again and took her hand, leading her back into the garden. "Father wishes me back when planned."

Confusion washed over her again, so much so that she finally stopped, facing him squarely. "I don't understand."

"What's not to understand?" he asked, lifting a brow. "Father wants me back, so I have to go back."

"But it is your home."

"Yes."

"So why don't you want to go?" Then she frowned. "But you do want to go." She lifted her hands to her face, swamped by his emotions, concern for her coming through most dominantly as he gently pulled her hands from her face.

"Picking up my emotions, I see," he murmured softly, kissing her knuckles. "Why does it confuse you so? Haven't you ever been in such conflict? Wanting to do something, but wanting to do something else at the same time, both having their good and bad points?"

"Of course, but never so intensely. It feels like it's a decision between life and death for you," she lowered her head so she didn't see his eyes any longer. She couldn't stand all the powerful emotions washing through her because of one look, the touch on her arms as he kept her from covering her face again.

He sighed softly and drew her against him, holding her tightly when she would have pulled away. He released her arms only to draw her fully against him, pressing her head against his shoulder.

As he held her, the emotions running through him began to calm, so she was able to calm down as well, slowly relaxing into his gentle hold. He sighed again and released her, cupping her face in his hands for a long moment before leaning closer. He kissed her forehead, briefly closing his eyes as he did so, and then drew back.

"Elladan will be expecting me on the field," he murmured softly, before he bowed his head slightly and walked off.

The look in his eyes stayed with her, haunted her steps as she wound her way through the gardens again. Finally, needing some solace of some kind, she climbed up into the large tree Elrohir had jokingly called hers one day. She'd taken him up on it, and still climbed up from time to time to think. Usually, though, she was wearing leggings when she did so.

But it didn't matter. All that mattered was she was here, out of sight, where she could think.

So why couldn't she think?

Her thoughts made no more sense now than before, her only viewpoint the same one she had had while walking in mindless circles in the garden. She sighed and rubbed the nail of her thumb over the stone as she tried to figure out what the new look in Legolas's eyes meant. Something told her that if she only knew that it would explain everything else, but its truth remained elusive even as day slipped to evening, and fell into night.

Hunger gnawed cruelly at her stomach, but she didn't heed it, listening instead to the sounds of the night as she tried to come up with some precedence for what she was seeing. Had she ever seen it before?

Not directed at her, that was certain. She would remember seeing such a light before. So, how about towards anyone else?

Lunian stared at the stars above with a soft sigh, her eyes seeing but her mind not knowing. It had wandered from her body back to the time when she had found out about her mother.

"Little one, come back!" Elrohir called, his voice distressed and pained. "Lunian!"

But she didn't go back. She couldn't. Her stomach felt empty, clenched horribly tight, her chest ached with the breath she couldn't take, her throat tight. A pained breath managed to enter her lungs through the obstacles, leaving mere instants later in a low sob.

Without thinking where she was going she ran on, not really surprised when she came to her tree. She swung up into the branches, ignoring the way they beat at her face and arms as she didn't look for the easiest way to get up, just going as high as she could as quickly as she could manage.

Once there she wrapped her arms around her knees, which were drawn to her chest. She rocked back and forth, her mind not comprehending what had happened, what had been said. Finally her confusion and pain overcame her, letting her sink into welcome darkness.

She woke with the sun coming in through the window of her room, the covers drawn about her. A figure was sitting next to the bed, and stirred as her breathing changed.

"How are you feeling?" Elrohir asked, pain, worry and guilt tied up in his voice and eyes.

She said nothing, letting the darkness take her over.

For the next weeks it was much the same. She would wake once in a while, but had no will to speak or move.

Until she heard Estel speaking with Elrohir. They were discussing the path to… Mordor? Surely that couldn't be right. When Arwen came in to see her, she was assured it was right, that Estel and Gandalf, along with Legolas, a man from Gondor, a dwarf and four hobbits would be leaving soon to destroy the one ring.

Arwen's face had been composed, but her eyes were worried. And happy, and pained. At once full of joy and sorrow, lighting up when Estel entered the room…

"NO!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ah…. The realization. But what will she do with the knowledge?

Dunno. Guess you'll have to wait…

Probably until Weds or so. (Horror! A wait! J )