Artemis Fowl and the Coastal Crisis

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer does, and I worship the ground he walks on for creating my hero that is Artemis Fowl the Second. Oh how I wish little Arty was mine… and yet… he's not. So don't sue me please.

Chapter Three

Digging Up Old Friends

Holly glared unblinkingly at the door to her cell. Her entire body was practically shaking and her mind was racing. So, a team had been sent to kill Artemis, who knows how long ago and here she was stuck in a cell. She blinked when the sound of the door unlocking reached her ears. Holly's mood worsened when she saw that it was Trouble who came in. She did not bother to stand as he took a few steps towards her; she only rattled her chains a bit. He stopped in front of her and seemed to pause, searching for what to say.

"The Tribunal has voted and it has been decided that you are to be stripped of all rank, and released… when the time comes," Trouble stated.

"As if I would want to be a LEP officer after this. I can't believe you're doing this. You let him go and now you're sending a team to stab him in the back! I didn't think you could stoop so low Trouble," Holly growled and Trouble looked a great deal uncomfortable.

"Holly, Fowl has been more trouble than he's worth. He stole from us, used you for his own personal gain multiple times, imitated Fairy technology … I'm not even going into this recent world war or whatever. But after we released him, he broke our agreement and removed the seeker-sleeper, and destroyed the satellites that were monitoring him, and - " Trouble's voice gradually grew louder.

"Broke our agreement! We never said he couldn't remove it afterwards! And anyway, wouldn't you remove it if you were in his place?" Holly yelled back. Trouble shook his head and threw his hand in anger.

"No! I didn't come here to argue with you again! I came to tell you that you'll be free to go after Fowl is dead. --The assassination team has been dispatched, and has reached Fowl's location. It won't be long now. You'll be a free Fairy soon," Trouble eventually whispered after his initial outburst. Holly slumped back onto the wall as Trouble stalked out of the cell. She threw a few colorful words at the door afterwards but then sighed and quieted. Holly began to retreat back into her thoughts when something on the floor caught her eye: a crack. She twitched a little, and continued to stare at it, she was sure it had not been there before Trouble came in. She stared a few more moments and immediately jumped back, flattening against the wall. The crack grew bigger and the tiles on the floor began to buckle upwards. She paused barely a second before she leapt at the crack. Her chained hands began to pick at it and it bulged up again. Her hand came into contact with something slimy and she rolled back on her heels with an 'ick'.

"Holly?" the barely audible gruff voice came from below and Holly smirked as the crack became a hole and something surfaced from the dirt.

"Mulch! I never thought I'd be so glad to see you," she cried and the dirty dwarf shook his head, his coarse hairs sticking out in odd directions.

"Well, that was a nice Hello, how do you do," he grunted. "We gotta get outta here before they realize what's going on," he pointed to the cameras. Holly stared up at them defiantly as Mulch poured a bit of Dwarf Polish on her cuffs and they disintegrated. "Holly?" he called, as she was lost in thought. She jerked out of her reverie and blinked a few times.

"Right," Holly muttered and took a step towards Mulch. "Let's get going," she said; Mulch turned around and began back through the tunnel he had created. Holly soon followed him. As she left, she heard footsteps running through the corridors towards the doorway to her cell. She did not wait to hear the door open.

After a good quarter of an hour of following Mulch's not so beautiful behind, from several feet away, preferably not actually facing it, Holly called up to him.

"I'm hoping you have a plan, and are actually taking me somewhere, as opposed to just digging around," she heard his jaw pop back into place as he looked over his shoulder at her.

"Hey, give me some credit, I got you out of LEP headquarters didn't I?" he chuckled and went back to ingesting the soft clay in front of them. Holly paused and glanced down, a thought suddenly occurring to her.

"How did you know where I was, Mulch?" she asked.

"Foaly," Mulch replied in-between mouthfuls.

"Foaly?" Holly repeated, a bit in shock.

"Yes, Foaly! You know, the one with the hooves? Munches carrots all day and loves to push buttons?" Mulch continued his trek through the ground, picking a piece of rock from between his teeth.

"I know!" Holly growled and took in a deep breath. "I mean, why would he get you to free me?" Mulch laughed, nearly choking on his current mouthful.

"Oh come off it Holly!" he laughed. "You think just because LEP and Trouble are against you, we are too?" he chuckled a bit more, clutching the sides of the makeshift tunnel for support. "Foaly would've helped you escape if he weren't under 24 hour observation just in case he tried. So instead, he let me know the situation through uh…some rather creative means," he cackled and once again to a bite of the ground in front of him. Holly shook her head. She did not want to know.

"Where are we going?" Holly asked and Mulch sighed.

"With all this talking, it's going to take forever for us to get to the hangar," he replied.

"The hangar?" she repeated.

"We're going to borrow a ship and - "

"Borrow a ship? You mean steal it!" Holly cut him off.

"I prefer the term borrow!" Mulch stated abashed. "Anyway, how else are we to get to Nice?" Holly bit her tongue to refrain from repeating 'Nice'. Of course they were going to Nice. They had to save Artemis.

"Fine, dig faster," Holly ordered with a tip of her head. Mulch 'humphed' before continuing forwards. Holly entertained herself by attempting to formulate a plan of how to save the Mud Boy, no (she really had to get used to him being full-grown) Mud Man.

After a few more minutes of digging Mulch informed her they were about to breech through the wall of a hangar close to the chute that led to southern France. Soon enough they were creeping behind crates in the hangar. There were a few fairies around, but luckily not too many.

"How about that one?" Mulch pointed to a rather expensive looking cruiser. Holly 'tsked' and shook her head.

"Maybe if you want to be sitting in the lap of luxury when the LEP catch us," she scoffed and scanned the hangar. "Aha," she muttered and jerked Mulch to her side. "There," she stated and heard Mulch groan as she dragged him behind the line of crates towards a small amphibious one. Its gray plating was waterproof and the seams were flawless.

"You're kidding? You want a stylish dwarf like me to make a getaway in a hideous ship like that?" he clasped a hand over his chest as if his heart ached.

"In," Holly commanded and the dwarf reluctantly complied. She tugged him out of the pilot's seat and he sat down with a plop into the copilot's. Holly quickly readied the computers.

"Shouldn't you turn on the engine?" Mulch piped as Holly fiddled with several instruments.

"Not until we're absolutely ready to leave, unless you want to get caught, that is," Holly muttered as she finished calibrating the last systems and strapped herself into the chair. "Hold on," she stated, as she wrapped her fingers around the steering and flipped the ignition. The craft around them shuttered and roared to life as it began to hover minutely. She eased the shuttle forwards, maneuvering around the other crafts in the hangar. No one had seen them yet, thought Mulch. They were almost out of the main hangar and into the loading bays. Maybe they would get out unnoticed?

Maybe not. Alarms started blaring, causing Mulch to jump in his seat. The lights turned off and their shuttle was suddenly the object of four spot lights. "Gr," he heard Holly humph slightly. He didn't have time to laugh at her simple statement, for he was soon pushed back into his seat by the force of their sudden acceleration. They escaped the spot lights and hurtled towards the door to the loading bays. With the shuttle going full speed, they blasted through the doors before they could close and tore though the barrier to the sea. Water rushed past them, into the hangar behind them, and Holly struggled to keep them going forwards. The craft fought the oncoming wall of water and Holly dared to take one hand off the steering controls. She pushed the pressure equalizer and the whole ship shook and whined as it darted away from the hangar.

"What's that for?" Mulch quipped, poking at her hand. She quickly slapped his hand away and returned her hand to the steering controls.

"Equalizer," she stated, and checked the altimeter.

"Huh?"

"It doesn't matter to you," she added and he shrugged, leaning back in his chair. There was an awkward moment of silence.

"So, Holly, now that we're both convicts…"

"Mulch," Holly growled. "Don't get me started."

Author's Note: Ho-hum, no one informed me that there was a mistake within two sentences of the beginning of this chapter. Arg. I really need a beta.:-( Anyway, fixed the mistake.

And If I ever finish this incredibly annoying Foreign Policy paper, I'll get back to work on the next chapter.

I got seven reviews on the second chapter and only four so far on this one – come on, show me the love! Give me some incentive here.

Anyway, I'll be back! (someday)