Chapter Seven:
The journey back to Hadrian's Wall was clouded with a sense of loss. The knights had fallen into silence, each dealing with the loss of Dagonet in their own way. Kelleigh sat in the carriage with Lucan and Guinevere, listening to the little boy's sad tears. Kelleigh pulled the little boy into her arms and held him, soothing away his pain. Finally, Lucan fell asleep and Guinevere took him away.
Kelleigh stared out over the landscape from her perch in the carriage, her mind thoughtless. She had tried to save Dagonet, but failed miserably. He still died. Pain assailed her body, and Kelleigh felt the tears stream down her cheeks. Guinevere put her hand on Kelleigh's shoulder, offering what comfort she could.
It had been three days since the ice battle; three days since Kelleigh had almost lost her life trying to save another. No one talked about it. No one was willing to admit how close they'd come to losing someone so dear to them. Arthur and Lancelot had made a point to make sure that she was comfortable, but it seemed that they were avoiding her. Neither of them had talked to her much in the last three days. Kelleigh didn't have to wonder why, for she knew it had to do with what she'd done.
Hadrian's Wall came into view, and Kelleigh felt a sense of dread rise in her stomach at an alarming rate. She sat up straighter, wishing that the knights had allowed her to ride. Arthur hand told her she couldn't ride because of her fall. They didn't seem to care that she'd recovered with amazing speed. Upon their return to the Wall, the knights would receive their discharge, leaving them free to go home. Kelleigh sighed, knowing that all she loved was leaving, and her future would be left undecided.
"Ride with me?" Kelleigh heard Gawain ask. She looked at him with a sad smile.
"I'm sorry Gawain," she said. He gave her a smile.
"At least you're responding to us," he replied. "Arthur and Lancelot may not admit it, but both are afraid that you were hurt worse than what it seemed," Kelleigh nodded her head.
"I'm as fit as can be," she said, looking out over the land again. The sky was overcast with clouds, and the air was growing colder by the minute.
"I know that, Kelleigh," Gawain said, and gigged his horse forward. Kelleigh stared after him and then went back to looking at the sky. The clouds had a dark grey colour to them, and they seemed imposing.
Lancelot rode up to the carriage and held out his hand. "Come ride with me," he said, looking at her. Kelleigh gave him a smile and reached out to him. Lancelot lifted her from the carriage and onto his horse in front of him. Guinevere glared at them, but Kelleigh didn't care. She settled comfortably against Lancelot, and sighed. Lancelot gigged the horse and they sped toward the wall, followed by the caravan.
Bishop Germanius was outside waiting for the caravan when the knights entered the Wall. He ran out for the carriage. "Ah! Good! Christ be praised! Against all the odds Satan could possi—Alecto!" Lancelot dismounted and helped Kelleigh down. Kelleigh immediately went over toward Dagonet's body. She saw Lucan rush toward the body.
"You! Boy!" The Roman soldiers went after him. Kelleigh swiftly grabbed a dagger from the horse beside her and pointed it at the men who came toward Lucan. She glared at them, daring them to come toward her and take the boy. Lancelot stepped beside Kelleigh and the soldiers backed away, not wanting to have an altercation with one of the famed Sarmatian Knights, especially when that knight was Lancelot. He was the most volatile of the knights, as the rumours said. He would defend the woman he loved until the ends of the earth, as the others went. Guinevere looked at Kelleigh as she skidded to a halt beside Lucan. Kelleigh nodded and then looked at Arthur, who looked past her at Guinevere.
Bishop Germanius chuckled nervously. "Great knights! You are free now!" He motioned for the soldiers beside him to move forward. Kelleigh noticed that one man had a gold-lined box in his arms. "Give me the papers. Come, come!" The man opened the box and showed the knights their discharge papers. "You papers of safe conduct throughout the Roman Empire! Take it, Arthur!" Arthur moved to stand in front of the bishop, giving the man little breathing room.
"Bishop Germanius, friend of my father," Arthur said and walked away. Lancelot left Kelleigh's side and walked to the soldier with the box. He ripped the papers out of the box and turned to hand them each knight. When he came to Bors, the oldest knight just stared blankly ahead.
"You are free. You can go," Germanius told them.
Bors stared the Bishop down. "Bors," Lancelot said. No answer. "Bors!" Lancelot held up two papers. Kelleigh moved to stand beside Lancelot. "For Dagonet,"
"This doesn't make him a free man. He's already a free man," Bors snarled, sorrow filling his voice. He took the papers from Lancelot and threw them at the Bishop's feet. "He's dead!" Bors took the reins of Dagonet's horse and led him away.
Lancelot put his hand on Kelleigh's back, leading her away, following Galahad. Gawain approached the Bishop, who stepped back in fear. Gawain bent and picked up the papers Bors had thrown on the ground. Beside him, Tristan inspected the gold-lined box, and took it from the hesitant soldier. Both men walked away, preparing themselves for the funeral of one of their own.
Kelleigh stood beside Lancelot and Arthur as they looked over the grave of Dagonet. Tears streamed down her face, unrestrained. Beside Lancelot, Gawain put Dagonet's papers of discharge in the box that Tristan had taken from the soldiers. Tristan closed the box. Gawain took the box and placed it on the freshly placed dirt of Dagonet's grave. "Goodbye, old friend," he said, "We'll be along soon,"
Lucan stood across from Kelleigh with Guinevere at his side. Kelleigh watched the little boys face contort with sorrow, and tears started to fall down his face. Guinevere placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort the boy. Arthur and Guinevere shared a look before Kelleigh watched her friend walk off. Fulcinia put her hand on Lucan's shoulder, and she, Alecto and Lucan walked off back toward the wall. Guinevere followed Arthur, leaving Kelleigh and the rest of the knights to watch over Dagonet's grave. Kelleigh felt Lancelot take her hand and squeeze. She cast a sidelong glance at him, and watched as he watched Guinevere walk toward Arthur. Kelleigh felt a small twinge of jealously clutch her heart.
Lancelot looked away from Guinevere and Arthur and let go of Kelleigh's hand. He walked off toward the edge of the forest and sat on a moss-covered log beneath a pine tree (whatever type of trees they had back then, might be a good thing to look up, huh?). He rubbed his face with his hands, and felt someone touch his head soothingly.
Kelleigh pulled softly on the curls of Lancelot's hair with a soft smile. She sat beside him on the log and pulled his chin until he was looking at her. "I never got to thank you for saving my life," she whispered, touching his cheek tenderly with her fingertips. Lancelot stared at her, his eyes never leaving hers.
"I'd do anything for you," he whispered back. "I'd give my life for yours," He moved until Kelleigh was sitting on his lap and in his arms. "You have my heart, my soul, my everything. If I lost you, I'd die,"
"Lancelot…" Kelleigh looked into his eyes, her love for him shining in her own eyes. Lancelot cupped her cheek with his hands, drawing her face to his, lifting her lips for his kiss. His kiss was gentle at first, a soft fluttering of hesitant touches and timid gestures; but suddenly, it became an untamed fire, coursing flames through their blood streams, willing them to act on physical urges. Kelleigh clung to Lancelot, just as he pulled her closer into his body. She gripped his shoulders with strength she never knew she had. In the throes of passion, only the need for air separated them. Kelleigh stared into Lancelot's eyes, letting the love she had for him flow into every fibre of her being. Lancelot held Kelleigh close, cuddling her in his arms as they sat on the log, looking out over Badon Hill and the surrounding area, thinking about what their future held. Neither cared that the first rays of the setting sun had begun to turn the sky purple, neither did they care when Lancelot saw Guinevere leave, and Arthur walk away shortly after, back toward the wall.
Arthur knelt beside his father's grave, watching the sunset, sending purple rays across the sky. Guinevere crouched beside him. "A grave with no sword," she said.
"It was my father's wish that if he died on this island," Arthur replied, "he be buried with his knights,"
"He died in battle?" Guinevere asked.
"It's a family tradition," Arthur stated, fiddling with a piece of grass within his fingers.
"I can see why you believe you have nothing left. Except," Guinevere stood up, "what you and your knight's have done. You have your deeds,"
Arthur stood up and stared at her. "Deeds in themselves are meaningless unless they are for some higher purpose," He snapped. "We have waged a war to protect a Rome that doesn't exist. Is that the deed I am to be judged by?"
"You stayed and fought when you didn't have to. You bloodied evil men when you could have run," Guinevere argued, "You did all that for no reason?"
Arthur looked away sadly. "Pelagius told me once there is no worse death," Arthur's voice broke as he spoke, "than the end of hope,"
Guinevere looked at Arthur, disbelief on her beautiful face. "You and I are not the polite people who live in poems," she said. Arthur looked at her. "We are blessed and cursed by our times,"
"Perhaps the curse is of our own making," Arthur said cynically, "and the blessing,"
"What are you afraid of, Arthur?" Guinevere asked. Arthur looked away without answering. "You are like this country. Britons with a Roman father," she said as Arthur looked back at her. "Rome is dead," Arthur looked away from her for the second time. "This place, this land—your home—is the last outpost of freedom, of everything you hold dear," Guinevere cupped Arthur's chin wither hand gently as he looked at her. "These are your people," Guinevere dropped her hand, leaving Arthur to stare after her as she left him in mouth-open awe.
Gawain and Galahad sat at an out of the way table at the alehouse, observing with grim silence the happenings around them. They watched as men groped at loose women, trying to get them to give them favours. Vanora moved about the house, distributing wine to the customers who wanted it. She felt the weight of Dagonet's death on her shoulders, Gawain saw, for she moved about the house with fake smiles and forced laughter. Galahad sat beside Gawain, sipping his wine, not really noticing anything but a few feet away, where men were playing a game with dice and coinage. Both men drank their wine, and said nothing to Vanora as she refilled their glass every so often. It seemed that the entire circle of knights had fallen into silence since receiving their discharge papers and the burial of Dagonet.
Gawain was the first to see Bors stumble in the direction of their table. He nudged Galahad and cocked his head as if to say look at Bors. Galahad watched as Bors stumbled around, running into a wench, and then a soldier. Both Gawain and Galahad looked at each other as if sharing a thought that Bors had been drowning his sorrows in wine. Both men knew of the close relationship of Dagonet and Bors, and neither could blame the oldest knight for trying to make his pain disappear with the simple taste of wine.
Bors plopped down next to Galahad, opposite Gawain and took a sip of his wine before wiping his mouth with the back of his chubby hand and scoffing. "I don't know…" he said, looking from Gawain to Galahad. Both wondered what he was talking about.
"You don't know what?" Gawain asked, sipping his wine. He nudged Bors with his foot when he saw Arthur walking past the alehouse on the street. Guinevere followed him, but she didn't seem to be interested in where he was going.
"Arthur and the Woad," Bors snorted and took another generous chug of his wine. "She's going to make him choose something this night," he said, wiping the excess wine with his hand.
"Maybe he'll choose on his own," Galahad stated, not wanting to think that the woman Arthur had rescued could take away the man that had been their leader for fifteen years. He looked to the street and saw Kelleigh and Lancelot walking together, slowly. He gave a smile.
Gawain noticed Kelleigh and Lancelot too, and looked at Bors. "What of Lancelot?"
"He loves 'er. Of that, I have no doubt," Bors replied, still slightly slurring his words from the amount of alcohol.
"She loves him," Galahad said with a smile, "Even I can see it in the way she acts around him," Bors and Gawain nodded their heads in agreement.
"He's a grown man," Bors said, looking at Gawain and Galahad. "Life has suddenly changed for them," He added.