The Coldest of Hearts – Part Ten
Daniel and Teal'c watched as the doctor injected the pain relief into the IV. Jack's face bore witness to the pain he was in. His words as he succumbed to the drug made Daniel flick a look to Teal'c, but the Jaffa's face gave nothing away. Jack's demeanour certainly worried Daniel, but he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and blamed it on the drugs.
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They were finally ushered out of the room by the doctor so that he could complete a thorough examination of the now sleeping Colonel. After a short time they were allowed back in with the affirmation that the Colonel was doing well, all things considered.
When Jack woke again sometime later Daniel, who had been waiting patiently, eagerly pounced, glad to see him awake.
"Whoa!" cried Jack, as he fought off the verbal assault from Daniel. His ears were ringing with the questions Daniel was firing off. "Slow down, breathe," he ordered, his voice weak.
Daniel gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry. It's just so much happened and we really thought we'd lost you this time ... I mean Cassie cutting us off and racing back up there and then Colonel Draper and his team ..."
"Draper?" queried Jack. He pinched at the bridge of his nose trying to quell the huge headache that was beginning to make itself felt.
Daniel nodded enthusiastically and launched into his tale.
Jack lay quietly as he took in Daniel's enthusiastic report of the events that he had missed by being unconscious - blessedly so, he thought...
He half listened to Daniel's tidal flood of words, his mind filling with the memories of what had happened, so strongly that he wasn't aware that Daniel had stopped speaking.
The harsh throat clearing cough brought him back to the present and he regarded Daniel with a puzzled look.
"Have you just heard anything I said?" asked Daniel, his expression showing a slightly hurt look.
"Sorry." Jack gave him a slightly apologetic look, which made Daniel give him a 'what's up' look.
Then a sudden flood of enlightenment brought a rush of shame to Daniel's face. "Ah, no, I'm sorry Jack, you just woke up, ahem, been shot and ... well, I errm, you ought to rest,"
Jack's eyes showed just how tired he was and Daniel felt so guilty at jumping on him as soon as he woke ... after he'd been so close to death. The list of injuries the doctor had given them made him pale in remembrance.
Jack watched the younger man's face through his half shut eyes. "You okay?" he asked in concern.
Daniel smiled a little self-consciously. "Yes, Jack, I'm fine. You get some rest okay?"
Jack could barely nod and his eyes slid shut...
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Daniel quietly closed the door behind him. "Idiot," he cursed himself softly.
"To whom are you referring Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c's voice came from behind him.
Daniel jumped a little, blushing. "Me ... I ... um never mind, Teal'c."
"Is O'Neill still resting?"
"He woke up for a little while, but he's sleeping again."
"Then I shall return later. You have eaten?"
Daniel shook his head absently and found himself propelled by Teal'c to the staff canteen. The staff were gradually becoming used to seeing Teal'c, but he still drew strange looks and he kept away from the visitor's areas as much as possible. The baseball cap that someone had provided him with hid his tattoo and as yet, no one had outwardly commented on his refusal to take it off.
Daniel watched helplessly as Teal'c piled a tray high with food and a coffee and escorted him to a table, whereupon the Jaffa bid him to 'chow up'
Daniel had the coffee half way to his lips when he stopped and gave the Jaffa a questioning look. "Chow up?" he asked with a quiver of amusement.
Teal'c nodded. "Or is it down? I confess that I was not paying O'Neill close attention at the time."
Teal'c took a huge bite out of a bread roll and began to shovel the pasta in behind it. Daniel covered his amusement by taking a sip from his coffee, shaking his head ruefully as he did so.
The conversation, or lack of, was saved by the appearance of Sam. She sat down and began picking half-heartedly at the sandwich she'd bought.
"Janet not joining us?" Daniel enquired.
"No, she's having something with Cassie," responded Sam.
"Has Cassie said anything yet?"
Sam shook her head and let the sandwich fall back onto the plate before she pushed it away, giving up the pretence of eating. "Not really and so far as we know there's no sign of Mayer or Brinks. It's like they've disappeared off the face of the earth. Colonel Draper is coming back tomorrow, the hospital has advised him that the Colonel might feel like talking a little."
Daniel shook his head. "They obviously don't know Jack if they think we'll get some of the gaps filled then."
Sam gave a shrug. "You know the Colonel, he'll only tell the bare minimum, but he may be able to shed some light on Mayer and Brinks's whereabouts."
"I do not think a man such as Mayer would have revealed his plans." Teal'c spoke between mouthfuls, barely pausing before putting the next forkful in.
Daniel watched the vast amount of pasta reducing rapidly. He'd always been amazed at just how much Jack could eat and yet remained trim, but the Jaffa had the Colonel beaten three fold.
"No, I don't think he would have said outright, but maybe he let something slip ..." began Daniel.
"Or maybe he thought it wouldn't have mattered to say at the time ... given that the Colonel was left for dead." Sam acknowledged sadly, her gaze lifting from the table as she spoke.
Neither of her companions were inclined to comment further on that and they resumed their meal in silence.
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General Hammond knew just how much Colonel O'Neill would hate this particular de-briefing, but he acknowledged the necessity of it and Colonel Draper's presence.
He had limited it to just himself, SG1 and Draper, but even so the small room felt crowded and he knew his 2IC was extremely uncomfortable and not just on a physical level.
Jack seemed happy to greet Colonel Draper and shook hands with the man, giving him quiet thanks for the timely rescue. He seemed resigned to the de-briefing, speaking quietly and to the point. He told them the facts as much as he knew. Draper prompted him for more details at certain points and as much as the story unfolded, they each knew they only had got the bare bones of the story ... right up until Jack spoke of leaving Cassie hiding when he went to scout out the road ahead. His voice died to a sudden halt as he spoke of retracing his steps to get back to Cassie.
"Jack?" prompted Draper.
Jack sank deeper into his pillows. His eyes closed for a moment, before flicking a quick glance at them all, his eyes giving nothing away ... before they closed again.
"Colonel, are you able to continue?" asked Hammond gently.
Jack nodded as he opened his eyes, this time fastening them down, his gaze intent on the bed linen that covered his chest.
"Sir," he acknowledge quietly. "I ..." he hesitated once again, drawing curious looks from his team. His eyes closed, almost as if against his will and his respiration began to increase. "I ..."
"I think you need to rest a little Jack, we can continue this later."
Hammond spoke softly, yet with full authority that no one would dispute. He nodded towards the door and everyone followed his silent request. Even the chairs rasping on the cold floor didn't cause Jack to open his eyes again and one by one they all filed quietly out of the room.
As Major Carter left, Hammond asked her to find a nurse and send her in. He then turned back to the silent man.
"Jack, take it easy. I know you've been through quite an ordeal. We'll continue this later, if you feel able to that is." Hammond didn't expect a response, so he wasn't disappointed. When the nurse entered, he rose quietly and left.
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SG1 and Draper were waiting in their rest room for the General to appear and their conversation died as he approached.
"Sir, I would like a chance to speak with Cassie," requested Draper.
Hammond seemed to consider it for a moment. "Although I would like to know what went on as well, in this case I must defer to the mother's wishes. Doctor Fraiser has reported how upset Cassie was by the earlier attempt to question her and her continued distress when approached by any male."
"Maybe Cassie would talk to me Sir?"
The General gave Sam a slight nod. "Perhaps. Ask Doctor Fraiser if she is agreeable. The rest of us will wait here."
Sam nodded and excused herself, leaving the others to settle down and to wait.
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Sam sat beside Cassie, stroking her hand gently. Janet had moved herself to the other side of the bed, not too close, but ready in case her daughter showed distress.
"Take your time Cassie, just tell me what you can," coaxed Sam gently. The bruises on the girl's face were dark, her eyes still shadowed ... her face showed a slightly haunted expression and Sam's heart bled for the girl, but they had to know what had happened and it would be good for Cassie to unburden herself ... at least that's what she kept telling herself.
"All?" whispered Cassie.
Sam nodded encouragingly, "Yes, start from when the Colonel picked you up."
Cassie nodded. "He called Friday and told me to be ready earlier than usual, said he had a surprise and to wrap up." As Cassie continued to speak, her voice grew a little stronger ... "He'd hidden the sticks in the back of the truck, so I didn't catch on until we were heading right out of town ...
It's beautiful up there ... Lynette's Lake ... he used to take Charlie there ..."
Sam listened as Cassie continued. The girl's enthusiasm for the trip was clear ... the light that lit her eyes as she spoke of their happy antics on the ice showed how much she had enjoyed it ... right up until the moment the broken down truck appeared ...
Cassie's voice wavered as she told them what she could. Tears ran down her face as she revealed how Jack had been hit ... then their escape...
Sam listened carefully, keeping her emotions hidden the best she could as she passed Cassie a handkerchief to wipe her tears and then a drink of water. She stroked the girl's hand gently, encouraging her to continue.
She felt the trembling growing worse as Cassie got to the point where Jack had left her to scout ahead, then suddenly the girl stopped speaking.
Sam hesitated for a moment, but her curiosity got the better of her and she pushed the girl to speak a little more. "What happened after that, Cassie? Did the Colonel come back for you?"
"He ... he ..." Cassie's tears flowed and she drew a snuffled breath.
Sam was aware of Janet edging closer, but she put out a hand to forestall her. "It's okay honey, go on."
"He grabbed me ... I tried to fight him ... I really did ... I was so afraid ... Jack left me ... and ..."
"That's okay Cassie, you're safe, it's okay ... what happened next?" Sam drew closer to the trembling girl.
"I saw the knife ... oh god ... Jack ..."
"Who had the knife Cassie?"
"I'm glad he's dead!" burst out Cassie.
"Who died Cassie? What happened?" Sam fought to keep her voice calm, despite her distress for the obviously upset girl.
"He's dead and I'm glad ... you hear! Glad!" Cassie broke free from Sam's hand and drew her knees up, rocking and sobbing.
"Jack killed him with that knife and I'm glad ... he ... he ..." she mimicked her fingers drawing across her throat, "There was a lot of blood, but I'm glad!"
"That's enough!" burst out Janet and climbed onto the bed, trying to calm her daughter. She encircled the sobbing girl in her arms, holding her tightly.
"It's okay Cassie. You did well. It's okay," whispered Sam, feeling very emotional herself.
Janet eventually managed to calm Cassie down and the girl's tears subsided to hiccoughs.
Sam reported what she had learned to the others. Draper immediately went to order a search with dogs to be carried out in the vicinity where they thought it was likely to have happened ... they needed to know just who else was out there ... dead or alive.
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The doctor attending Jack had refused to let them continue the de-briefing and had sedated the Colonel. The elevated readings he'd seen had shown clearly that his patient was under stress and he blocked any further chance of interview and visitors until at least the next day.
Cassie settled for the night with Janet lying beside her. Sam disturbed the woman in the early hours, urging her out into the corridor so that she could speak to her without waking the teenager.
"Janet, they've located a body. They're bringing it in."
Janet felt the last ravages of sleep leaving her. "And ... do they know who it is?"
"They've identified it as Brinks."
"How long before it arrives?"
"Thirty minutes ... Janet, the General has requested you assist at the autopsy."
Janet nodded. "That's okay Sam, don't worry. Will you stay with Cassie in case she wakes ... I don't want her to be alone just yet?"
"Of course I will," said Sam at once, feeling pleased that Janet had asked her.
Janet went to freshen herself up and Sam took her place in Cassie's room, watching the girl sleeping. Cassie's face didn't seem relaxed even in sleep, and Sam wondered what horrors the child had had to face over the last days.
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The hospital mortuary had a well equipped lab. Nothing but the finest equipment ... with the SGC just a little way a way, it needed it. The hospital had been home to more than one refugee from another world, not that most of the staff were aware of it...
The soldiers that laid the body on the slab quickly helped the Doctor assigned to do the autopsy and Janet to debag it before leaving at their request. The cause of death was quickly apparent to both doctors as they looked down in horror at the man's throat. The body had barely suffered any decomposition, the cold keeping it more or less as the life had left it ... the moment that the Colonel's knife had ended it
Almost on autopilot, Janet helped record their findings. A bloodied and broken nose ... bruising to the immediate area ... disarranged clothing ... "He grabbed me ... I tried to fight him ... I really did ... I was so afraid ... Jack left me ... and ..." her daughter's terrified speech bleached out further thoughts ... there wasn't much point in taking it any further ... the body had bled out quickly, the man dying instantly from the well placed blade.
Janet thanked the doctor and excused herself, leaving the doctor and his assistant to clear up, and pulled the gloves from her hands. She hurried through to the washroom, barely making it to the sink before losing the scant remains of the last meal she'd eaten. If she'd asked for a painted picture of that scene she would have fared no better ... her mind's eye could clearly see the man looming over her daughter ... Cassie fighting him ... all alone...
As the heaving settled Janet felt the anger and fear building more...
Janet was a soldier true, but first and foremost she was a doctor, and in her heart she just couldn't find any pity for the man killed by the hand of the Colonel. She'd seen some horrors over her time at the SGC, and even before her posting there the brutal acts of mankind had always sickened her, but the fear that Mayer hadn't finished with them, that he was lurking somewhere waiting to take revenge chilled her.
She set out at a good pace to the Colonel's room, the guards letting her enter without contest.
Janet felt quite calm, considering...
She'd spoken to the Colonel's doctor earlier and he'd reassured her, that all things considered, he was doing quite well, and if he'd thought it odd that she'd taken a back seat in the Colonel's care the doctor certainly hadn't mentioned it, thankfully, Cassie's well-being was accepted as her first priority.
She stood in the open doorway for a moment, staring at the pale imitation of the Colonel that she knew ... correction – she thought she knew, as much as anyone was allowed to...
He seemed to sense her presence and stirred, his eyes opening slowly from slumber.
Taking a slightly deeper breath than usual, she stepped in, allowing the door to close behind her.
"Colonel," she said stiffly, by way of greeting as she approached the bed.
"Doc?" he queried, his voice quite low and raspy, his tongue flicked out to moisten dry lips as he struggled to sit more upright, the aftermath of sleep leaving him.
"I need to know what happened out there."
The Colonel's face showed a flicker of surprise before he recovered his composure, but he remained silent.
"Cassie isn't saying much at all, she's still ..." Janet cleared her throat. "Tell me what happened."
Jack's eyes slid down to the sheet covering him. "I ..." he stopped speaking abruptly, his eyes remaining downcast.
"Why?" she asked suddenly, the word bursting out before she could stop it.
He looked up startled. His eyes narrowed briefly and he shifted his weight in the bed again.
"Why is it you can protect your team so well, but not Cassie?" Her voice rose higher as she spoke.
He looked taken aback for a moment by her question, but feeling nothing but a buzzing anger building, Janet stormed on.
"Can you answer me that, Jack? The heroic Colonel O'Neill, decorated for bravery ... how many times? But you couldn't help Cassie ... you abandoned her to those men ..."
"Janet, what ... it wasn't like that ... I ..."
"I trusted you, Colonel. Just like your team trust you out there."
His eyes opened wider, a slightly shocked expression lit them. "God Janet, I did everything I could to ..." his voice broke a little and he paused for breath.
"I shouldn't have trusted you with her, I shouldn't have expected her to be safe with you ... you couldn't keep your own son safe."
Jack stared at the petite bundle of seething hurt that stood before him ... except that he didn't see the hurt ... he only felt his own. Her words sliced through him like the cruellest of knives and when she mentioned Charlie, the knife swept back through him, cutting him to the very core. The ice that crept down through his veins began to mesh with the anger that surged as he snapped. He only felt the need to return the hurt, to slash back at the woman that was cutting through him.
"You were willing enough to use me as a convenient babysitter when you had better things to do!" He pushed himself more upright to face her, oblivious of the pull on his injuries.
"Bastard!" snarled Janet and her hand struck out at him.
The resounding slap echoed in the room, but he barely flinched. The ice in his veins and in his heart didn't acknowledge it. "Get out!" His voice was cold and calm. "Get out," he repeated when she didn't move at first.
"Oh I'm going Colonel," she spat at him. "But before I do you need to know that I won't make the same mistake again – I'm not going to give Mayer or anyone another chance at her."
Janet turned abruptly as she spoke the last word. Jack barely saw her leaving ... the ice settling down ... the numbness began to take over ... shutting him down.
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Jack let his head fall back with a thump. His heart was thudding painfully in his chest, the pain he was in was nothing to the overwhelming sense of shame he felt. He knew he shouldn't have retaliated the way he had, but he had been taken by surprise by the whole episode and had lashed out without thinking. It seemed to his tired and drugged mind that Janet had discovered that he had been prepared to sacrifice her daughter's life ... that must have been what it seemed to Cassie, that was what it was – he left her ... he did nothing to save her - was that what he was good at? Killing children?
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