We got to the hotel and Mark, Glenn girlfriend Lisa (Ivory), Amy, Matt and Jeff were all in my room (Of course I would be the only one unattached)…why everyone picked my room was beyond me…but they did…As usually the girls ended up on the floor around my laptop…and the guys were in some kind of deep heated discussion about wrestling…naturally…I connected to the internet…and checked my e-mail right away…and sure enough there was another one from Vanessa…this one said:
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Lala,
I'm going to be in Washington the same time you will…let's hook up and see the sights, maybe I'll even let you take me to one of those silly wrestling thingies…I'll give you a call tomorrow and we can set it all up...miss you…by the way here's another list...you know, they girl here the stone all watch that stupid wrestling every Monday and Thursday…we've been coming up with some really good lists…
Vanna
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All I Need To Know About Life I Learned From Wrestling
I've learned that elderly people can still be active.
I've learned that mentally insane people attach themselves to inanimate objects Example: A severed mannequin head or mop.
I've learned that pimpin' ain't easy.
I've learned that women can only wrestle in mud, water, snow, gravy and pudding.
I've learned that during a marriage, when the wrestler walks down the isle their theme music must play.
I've learned that poontang pie is the best pie that a man can have.
I've learned that you never cross the Acolytes on a bad or good day.
I've learned that drunken old women are the funniest people in the world.
I've learned that when the Mean Street Posse states "Everyday, someone's gotta pay," they are referring to themselves.
I've learned that to succeed in life I need to follow the 3 I's…. there are….umm…I forgot!
I've learned that when Jericho says "never eeeever!" he means what he is saying.
I've learned that The Rock is the most electrifying man in sports entertainment today.
I've learned that it doesn't matter what my name is.
I've learned that the Rock is not the best at remembering things.
I've learned that depends are now available as edible.
I've learned that it is okay for a man to dress in drag.
I've learned that it is perfectly acceptable to grab another man by his crotch if I have a sock on my hand.
I've learned that you should n-n-n-never make fun of a s-s-s-stuttering problem and that it is a part of Ten Commandments.
I've learned that it is okay to mispronounce people's name that shows their insignificance.
I've learned that it's okay to throw someone off a bridge, hit them with a chair a dozen times, hang then from a noose, drug them, hit them with a sledgehammer, kidnap them, try to embalm them, hit them with a car, drop a cement block on their head, throw them down a flight of stairs, abduct them, throw them through a table, throw them off a stage, kill their dog, hit them in the face with a hammer, drug them and then marry them, throw tear gas in their locker room, break their hand with a hammer and bury them alive. But if Vince McMahon goes within 50 feet of Triple H, then damn it, he's going to jail.
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By the time we got to the end of the list we were laughing so hard, and e-mailing it to everyone in the company…Amy went ahead and read it out loud for the guys, who were cracking up so hard they had tears sliding down their cheeks…After everyone had left me and Mark were the only two left and were sitting on the couch talking…
Mark said, "You know that friend Vanessa of yours, she's a spit fire…I can't believe all the funny shit she came up with…" I said, "Well, that's just Vanessa for you…she's been like that since college…" Mark said, "Well I can see why you guys have been friends for as long as you have…" I said, "Yea, she was the one who made me more confident about things…and she's the one who every time I thought about the way my mother treated me, would go out of her way to make me laugh my ass off…she's really not into the whole wrestling experience…but she supports me cause she knows I love working here…" Mark said, "Well, I'd say she's a keeper as a best friend then…" I smiled and said, "Yea, actually she is…" We talked a little more and then Mark left for his room…