The Coldest of Hearts - Part Twelve
"Teal'c!" Cassie berated, as the thudding fear in her heart left her.
His face immediately showed his contrition. "I did not mean to scare you, please forgive me," he said softly.
She drew a deep breath, calming herself down. "That's okay Teal'c, just I'm a little err ... jumpy ..."
"As is understandable, Cassandra. Are you going to visit O'Neill?"
Cassie nodded. "I think so."
Teal'c regarded her with a raised eyebrow and he inclined his head to one side. "Think? Do you not know what you are doing here?"
"Well, what I am trying to do is the right thing ... but I don't know for sure that it is."
"You must do as you think is right. I am sure of that. Also that if you have come so far, you must not now give up."
Cassie gave the man-mountain a tremulous smile, realising he was not talking about the length of the journey from the house. "Were you always this wise, Teal'c?"
"Indeed not. Wisdom cannot be taught. Like experience, it can only be attained through living and learning. I have just lived a little longer than most people you know."
"Indeed," said Cassie, giving the surprised Jaffa a quick hug; however he only smiled and nodded.
Cassie felt a little better ... a little braver ... and carried on resolutely, only to stop a bit further down the corridor, suddenly realising that she actually had no idea which room she needed. Then Teal'c's deep voice issued clear instructions. She didn't turn her head, merely waving a hand in thanks as she followed his directions.
For some reason as the door was in sight, she felt the need to tiptoe the last few feet. Taking a deep breath she raised her fist to knock, then changed her mind and instead began to push the door open – slowly.
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Heart in mouth she peered around the door to see Jack on the bed facing her. His eyes were alert and watching and the foot he had raised slightly flopped to the bed's surface as she bravely stepped further into the room.
For a few heart hammering seconds she wasn't sure of his response, his face showing just a little shock, until the smile that began tugging at his mouth lit his dark eyes and the last few feet to the bed were covered in a remarkably short space of time.
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Jack wasn't sure at first if he was seeing things when Cassie's face appeared around the door. When she stepped in, the uncertainty her face held tugged at his heart. His first and most immediate thought was that she was frightened of him, until the love he felt for her surged up and for one of the few times in his life, he let his heart dictate his expression and he didn't hold back from showing just how glad he was to see her.
He bit down the gasp of pain as Cassie quite literally flung herself on the bed at him, his arms opened wide, hugging her fiercely. His eyes filled with what felt suspiciously like salty moisture as he squeezed them shut, not able to hide the trembling in his limbs.
The tears that shook her young body bled a few of his own.
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Cassie's sudden tears made her entire body tremble as she cried. She cried her heart out, letting go of the pent up fears and threads of self doubt, and the guilt she had trapped inside of her. She cried for everything and everyone ... without quite knowing exactly for what... but most of all she cried for the man holding her, the man who had become so much more than a father to her. He held a very, very special place in her heart and in her life and she was no way in hell going to lose him, regardless of what he or her mother thought!
"Cass," his voice whispered as she began to calm down. His lips touched the top of her head in a kiss and she clung to him harder than ever.
She felt him stiffen slightly and draw a sharp breath and she immediately released him with a hiccoughed apology.
"Jack ... sor hic... sorry... I forgot hic..."
"Sokay, honey, honestly. You okay?"
"Now I am." Cassie spoke resolutely and sat up, scrubbing at her eyes and snotty nose with her sleeve until Jack pressed a handful of wipes into her hand.
"Yew gross!" he whined with a smile as she made as if to rub her nose on him instead of the wipe.
Cassie grinned and blew her nose and then lifted her face to him to accept his touch as he gently cleaned her face with the fresh wet wipe he had snagged from his bedside table.
He then passed her a drink and eased back on the bed against the headboard. She snuggled on the narrow bed beside him, his arm cocooning her safely to prevent her tumbling off.
"Cass..."
"Jack..."
They both began to speak at the same time and then grinned at each other stupidly.
"You first," she demanded.
"Uh, ah ... Cass..."
"Jack..."
They laughed, then Jack gave her shoulder a squeeze and a hand signal to carry on.
"Why didn't you want to see me?"
"Uh? I thought ... oh." The light dawned on him as Janet's last conversation with him – or rather at him – came back to him. "Cassie I..." he hesitated, loath to shift any blame onto Janet because, no matter how he felt, he could see her point of view in wanting to protect her child. In fact if Cassie had decided she didn't want to see him, he would honour that regardless of his own feelings...
"I was a bit ... well out of it, I think your Mom thought it best, especially with Mayer still on the run as well."
Cassie frowned at him. It wasn't as if her Mom hadn't tried that same tactic on her as well ... and it didn't wash. Her Mom's final words to her were what counted.
"No. Mom said that you didn't want to see me."
Jack shifted a little uncomfortable. He didn't want to blame anyone, but he also didn't want Cassie to think that was what he had wanted.
"Mom lied." Cassie spoke quietly and she turned her face to regard him seriously.
"Well, maybe not exactly ..." he began.
"She did," said Cassie firmly. "She shouldn't have."
"Cassie, one day you'll have a child of your own and then..."
"What? I'll turn into a liar?" she asked quite seriously.
Jack couldn't help the grin. "Cass when you're a parent things are kinda cut and dried in your head when you protect your kids, and it doesn't matter at the time if it's wrong - you do just it."
"You love me, don't you?" asked Cassie suddenly, her expression daring him to deny it.
Jack couldn't - he nodded slowly.
"Yet you managed to do the right thing out there, didn't you?"
The guilt and shame flooded Jack so hard he almost gasped. He couldn't respond to that – didn't want to. His eyes slid down to regard his chest before he closed them.
"Jack," she said quietly, then a little nudge and his name again until he managed to look at her.
"You did the right thing. You knew that rescue couldn't have been long coming. You gave me a chance by holding them off for as long as you did."
"Cass, don't I..."
"You think I would want to live knowing that my life was traded for even one innocent? I think my natural parents taught me better than that, and you and Janet have carried on teaching me the same way."
Jack did a slight double take at that. Cassie rarely referred to her natural parents nowadays, but it didn't mean she'd forgotten them. It was also just as rare that Cassie referred to Janet as anything other than 'mom' ... the way she phrased 'natural parents' gave him a glimmer of just how she felt towards him and Janet – parents – and it warmed his worn soul.
"Cassie, I'm honoured that you think that way, but I ... what about Brinks? I saw how you ... when I ..."
Cassie put a finger up to his lips. "Shush. You did what you had to and I am so glad you were there. I don't care about him. It doesn't matter, just that you were there and that you stopped him is enough for me. When Mom calms down and I can talk to her properly, and tell her everything that happened, she'll understand. I know it's been hard for her and I think she feels she wasn't being a good mother by not being able to protect me and she's taken her guilt and anger out on you too."
Jack's eyes widened, then he poked her suddenly on her arm. "Are you sure you're our Cassandra Fraiser ... some alien didn't beam you up and clone you did they?" he asked suspiciously.
Cassie laughed and swotted his fingers away. "Jack, don't be an ass!" she berated, giggling.
"Hey!" he mock growled pretending to be hurt. "Gonna stop you hangin' around our space monkey!"
Cassie giggled harder and leaned into his shoulder until the giggling subsided and she sobered slightly, sitting up a little straighter.
"I couldn't ... I... well I haven't actually told anyone what happened out there properly."
"When you're ready you will."
"Huh, like I bet you told anyone properly. A factual report, Colonel?" cracked Cassie.
Jack nudged her head with his shoulder. "Ah, but I'm sort of allowed to, well, gloss some of the details now I'm soooo much older," he teased.
"Ack," grimaced Cassie. "Sam says you box it down."
Jack's eyes widened a little in surprise. "She did, did she?"
Cassie nodded and carried on. "Yep, that you keep too much inside of you and that it's not good for you. I mean, how would you feel if I did the same thing?"
Jack shrugged a little. "Depends on how you handle the 'boxing'. I don't do emotion, Cass, you know that."
"You're doing it now."
Jack gave her a mock glare and then a rueful grin. "That's doing it? Now that's amazing – see – Sam's wrong then huh?"
Cassie gave him a scowl and a thump on his good arm.
"We ... err, we're okay then?" he asked hesitantly.
"Yes Jack," sighed Cassie with all the attitude of a twenty-year plus, woman – "We're okay."
"That's good."
"Yup."
"I mean Cass..."
"Jack."
"Uh?"
"Shuttup now you're ahead, okay?"
"Women!" he scorned.
Cassie beamed...
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Janet Fraiser sighed as she scrubbed up. She'd had to carry out two operations – one after the other due to the injuries SG12 and 14 had received off world and she was tired. The General had been down quickly to ascertain how things were and apologised at having called her, cancelling her leave. She accepted his apologies with good grace and was thankful that the personnel although needing a lot of care, would certainly be okay. The nursing staff had been running at full stretch for the last five hours and at long last she could now afford to take a break.
Lt. McPhee however disturbed her with apologies. "There's been two calls while you were in surgery Ma-am, both from your neighbour, Mrs. Byrne."
Janet's heart jumped a little. "Tricia? Did she say what it was?"
The lieutenant shook her head. "I told her you were in the OR and would call as soon as you could."
"Thanks, I will."
Janet quickly made her way to the nearest phone and dialed the number she knew by heart, having frequently had to use it when delayed at the base.
"Hi Janet, sorry I had to call you in work, but I've been over to check on Cassie and didn't get an answer."
"She's probably still sulking, we ... ahem, well we had a few words before I left," confessed Janet.
"I left it a while in case she was in the shower or something, but when I went back I took the spare key and let myself in. Janet, she's not at home. Did she have to go anywhere?"
Janet's heart took a dip into her stomach and her stomach shot down to her shoes, before lurching back up with an essence of nausea.
"No ... I ... she shouldn't have gone anywhere ..." Janet's mouth ran with moisture and she gulped hastily as the bile fought to rise.
"Janet?" questioned Tricia at the sudden silence.
"Sorry, yes ... look I'm coming home. If she shows will you call my cell phone?"
"Sure thing. Be careful driving huh?"
Janet made a quick call to the General to advise him she was heading home and why.
"Are you sure you don't need help?" he enquired gently. "There might be..."
Janet considered what he was saying. "Sir, I don't think it's so much trouble as perhaps she was just a little upset at something I said before I left."
"Will you let me know when you find her, and Doctor - don't hesitate to call if there's anything I can do."
"I promise sir."
Janet left the mountain in record time. She felt the anxiety melting, only for it to be replaced by anger as she suddenly realised just where her errant daughter might be.
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Janet parked her car in one of the on call doctors' spaces without care and practically ran into the hospital. She was seething by the time she reached the wing where the Colonel was. As she entered the corridor leading to his room, she saw Teal'c and Colonel Draper coming towards her and put her hands up to stop them.
"Have you seen Cassie?" she demanded.
Teal'c inclined his head towards her. "Is something distressing you Doctor Fraiser?"
"Where's Cassie?"
Teal'c's eyes widened slightly at her manner, but he inclined his head down towards the Colonel's room.
Janet didn't acknowledge them further, but stormed off in that direction.
"What's got up her ass?" asked Draper, a little surprised.
"If you mean what is bothering the Doctor, then I believe that she has discovered that Cassandra is visiting when she is not supposed to."
"Ouch," said Draper with feeling.
"Indeed. I suggest we wait here."
"Uh, no sh... kidding Teal'c. That woman scares the pants off me," confessed the army Colonel.
"You are not alone in that feeling Colonel Draper."
Draper winced "No doubt. Poor Jack."
"Indeed."
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Janet pushed the half open door wide. She stood with her hands on her hips and glared at the bed...
The Colonel sat up with a start as Janet entered and took in her stern demeanour as she glared at him. If looks could have killed – he'd have died instantly.
"Doc, I ..."
Cassie stirred from the doze she'd fallen into and her eyes opened to find her Mom glaring at Jack.
"Mom?" she asked a little dazed and not just a little shocked at the expression she saw written there.
"Cassandra, get your things, you're coming home!" snapped Janet, her eyes not leaving Jack's face.
"Janet, look ..." began Jack, his voice taking on a pleading tone. He didn't want to lose Cassie, nor his friendship with the doctor.
"Don't! Just don't! Cassie!" she snapped impatiently, stepping closer to the foot of the bed.
Cassie sat up and scrambled forwards over the blankets, looking from her mom to Jack.
Jack heaved himself off the bed, holding a hand out to Janet. "Please, just give me a chance to..."
The flicker of light from the window caught in his peripheral vision and even as he turned to utter a warning he saw the red dot flashing onto to Cassie's head ... right between her eyes.
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Janet saw everything as if in slow motion ... she watched as Jack turned, his mouth opening as if to speak, but nothing but a startled gasp erupted as he flung himself bodily onto the bed, knocking Cassie down – pinning her beneath him...
The crack as the window broke drew her eyes, but before she could even comprehend just what had happened she became aware of Cassie screaming...
Her hands flew up in horror as she watched the explosion of blood that splattered the white sheets ... the redness stark and terrifying ... and the screaming ... her daughter pinned to the bed – screaming hysterically as Jack O'Neill's blood covered her...
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Janet was frozen to the spot in absolute horror for what felt an age, but in reality was only seconds. She watched as the body covering her daughter rolled suddenly and brought them both crashing to the floor, rolling to keep himself between Cassie and the window. The cry of pain from the Colonel brought Janet to her senses.
Cassie's screams cut off suddenly, the sounds of her gulping for breath, beginning to hyperventilate, rent the air.
Janet's instincts clicked in and she dropped low, even though the angle she stood at shielded her from the window.
The Colonel put out an arm, rolling back from Cassie slightly just as a second shot rent the air. Janet screamed out as she watched the Colonel jerk in agony as it hit him in the back. Cassie's screams echoed through the room again and Janet shot forwards grabbing at her daughter's outstretched arms, pulling with all her might, sliding the helpless girl across the floor to safety. As soon as Cassie was within her reach Janet scrambled against the wall, hauling her daughter with her.
Cassie struggled against her, her breath beginning to whoop again as she fought to speak. "Noooooo!" she screamed and struggled to be free of her mom's arms.
Jack's slight movement drew Janet's eyes to him. "No... Cass... stay..." he gasped, one arm extended towards the crying child, then his head lolled and he stilled.
Cassie's struggling ceased as the door slammed fully open and Teal'c's huge outline appeared.
Janet screamed a warning to the Jaffa who dived to the floor, followed rapidly by an SF, rifle at the ready.
"The window!" shouted Janet.
A third shot rang out, hitting its target with deadly accuracy and the Colonel's body reacted, his head snapping back with the force of the bullet. Janet realised the jerk was purely a reflex – the Colonel was already dead.
The SF snapped a couple of quick shots through the window as soon as the third shot had given him a line to follow.
"Gunman on the east wing roof," he shouted and fired again.
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Teal'c looked down at his friend's body, instinctively knowing the Colonel was no longer alive. The resounding silence since the SF had fired told him that the gunman was fleeing and he burst into action. He almost knocked the crouching figure of Colonel Draper off his feet as he ran at top speed out of the room.
Draper got to his feet from his position in the doorway, and gave a shocked glance at the body on the floor, however one look at the murderous expression on Teal'c's face as he barrelled past him, told him to follow the man.
Teal'c's fast pace took him by surprise and he had to push hard to keep the man in sight. More SF's were beginning to converge on the scene and he shouted hasty instructions at them to get security out into the grounds, not daring to stop.
Mike Draper ran as though his life depended on it, hot on Teal'c's trail.
For just a couple of minutes he thought he'd taken a wrong turn, then the sound of gunfire drew him a little way up a flight of stairs. Panting, he came to a halt as he saw that Teal'c had cornered a man on the landing above him. Teal'c was clutching one hand to his side, the other held the man by the throat.
"Teal'c?" called Mike as he neared them. The rifle that had killed his friend and colleague Jack O'Neill, lay on the floor, obviously cast to one side in the struggle that had ended when Teal'c caught up with a man he recognised as Mayer.
"Do not attempt to interfere," spat Teal'c. His voice was low, a dangerous tone to it, one that Draper recognised as very serious.
Mayer uttered a choked cough as the Jaffa's huge hand tightened on his throat.
Mike Draper eased himself carefully up the last of the steps. "Oh, I have no intentions of that Teal'c." His voice was low, and just as dangerous, and his words deadly serious. "In fact, if you don't do it ... I damn well will."
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Cassie fought free of Janet's arms and scrambled over to Jack's body, kneeling heedlessly in the pools of blood. "No ... no ... mom help him, help him!" she begged, pulling at his arm to turn him.
Janet seemed to wake up as if from a sleep of horror and she helped Cassie to turn the Colonel over. Janet had seen death too often to not recognise it and she knew the Colonel was gone, but something in Cassie's eyes made her begin CPR. She could hear the commotion outside in the corridor and then a doctor slid into the room on his knees and joined her beside the Colonel. His questioning look made her shake her head briefly, but he nodded and began to try and give the Colonel air.
Janet kept up the compressions for a while, much longer than she would have normally before, with a sinking feeling of despair, stopping and sitting back, a sob rising in her throat as she watched the blood still pooling from the bullet wound to his head.
Her daughter's heart rendering scream of denial shot through her.
"No Mom, help him ... you can help him ... don't stop... he can't die ... he can't!" begged the hysterical girl, her hands clawing at Janet, trying to shake her arm as she screamed.
"Cassie he's gone..." began Janet quietly.
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