Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 10: winter

Fuji looked at Tezuka with anguish clearly written on his face. Never had he thought that Tezuka would forget about their love so completely that he was able to move on so fast and so thoroughly. Please, don't do this to me; don't break my heart this way. Don't do this to me, don't this to our love, please, onegai, Kuni-chan!

The rich heiress stared at the man in front of her, true, he was charming and so handsome, but to agree to marry him? It was a few steps too far. She was about to reject his less-than-romantic proposal, when she looked into his eyes and saw the desperation. She turned slightly and looked at the other man on the table behind theirs.

Throughout the meal, she had noticed the fevered looks between Tezuka and the other man behind her. By the distinct features of the Tezuka's clan, she was sure that the other guy was the new found son of the rich typhoon. She wasn't interested in the frail-looking guy, no matter how rich he was.

She turned back and looked into Tezuka's eyes again, only to find him looking at Fuji Syuusuke with regret and remorse and something deeper, something which had torn the lovers apart. She decided that she liked Tezuka more as a good friend, so a little sacrifice for friend should be nothing.

"Okay! I accept." When a loud gasp came from the back of their table, she smiled and winked at the unsuspecting Tezuka. Finally comprehending that Ann was agreeing to go along with his plan, Tezuka smiled widely and place the flawless diamond ring onto her third finger.

Tezuka heard a loud scraping of chair against the floor. Fuji was stalking angrily over to his table. He smiled; finally he had gotten a hackle out of his love…his ex-love. The gentle reminder had efficiently destroyed his smile.

"Tezuka, why are you doing this, please…give me another chance…I love…"

"Shut up! Don't say that you love me. You never did, it was all but a trick, a trick for a fool!" all the pain and all the hurt Tezuka had suffered came rushing back. It blinded him and he didn't see the remorse and the tortured regret darkening Fuji's eyes.

Angry that he had lost his cool in front of Fuji, he torn his eyes from Fuji, refusing himself the luxury to look at Fuji's face. Strangely, seeing Fuji and hearing him talking about loving him seemed to be another betrayal.

Pushing himself from his seat, he towered over Fuji, brushing past him as if he were nothing but an annoying pest; he went to collect his partner, his fiancée. Without a backward glance, he walked away with Ann on his arm.

As he walked towards the door of the diner, he could felt Fuji's eyes burning into his back. He walked from Fuji, again. This time, he was calm, this time he was better.

This time, his heart only broke a little. He would survive…he hoped.

It was by sheer determination and strong will that Fuji didn't collapse with the pain in his heart. He looked on as Tezuka walked out, again, this time with his new-found love by his side. The thought cut deeply within his heart and soul. He wanted to sit on the floor and cry; he wanted to howl to everyone who would hear about his pain and his regret.

He knew that he had hurt Tezuka acutely before, but he never believed that Tezuka would forget about him, forget about the love they shared. I love you so, why couldn't you see that and forgive me? Why can't you put away your pride for once?

Slowly, with slightly visible efforts, he pulled himself together and went back to his companion. He was silent as he could no longer concentrate on anything else but his devastated mind and soul. He no longer sees the brightness of the sun and could no longer taste the sumptuous food. He was dead to everything but the heartache. He ignored the calls of his companion. He didn't care.

His father had wanted him to marry the girl. She was the one of the richest heiress; her family owned the chain of the largest and most expensive hotels around the entire world. She was one of the best catch and his father wanted him to forget about Tezuka and move on.

He had thought then, when he was faced with his father's decision, that he wouldn't marry anyone other than Tezuka, he was sure then, that Tezuka was still in love with him and would one day forgive him. He was so sure then, so very sure. Now he was sure that his confidence in their love was misplaced.

Finally he looked up and saw Sakuno flinched. He was unaware of the bleakness within his eyes. He was unaware of the lack of emotions within his eyes; he was unaware of anything except that he had somehow lost himself. He didn't know what to do; he didn't know how to find that part of him again, the part that Tezuka had killed when he proposed to another.

He left the restaurant, he didn't turn when Sakuno shouted for him, he didn't stop when he approached the road, he didn't falter when he stepped onto the road, nor did he react when Sakuno pulled him from the path of approaching cars. He was as good as dead. When Tezuka had left him, he had harbored hopes that Tezuka would forgive him. But that hope had died, that tiny part of his soul had flickered and snuffed out like a candle.

When the day ends, everything went red and orange, but soon it would be grey and bleak. The world would be dark, and I would soon forget how the sun looks like, I would soon lived in the endless night, with no gentle moon beams as companions, I would die and yet live forever in this world of darkness.

The next time he woke up, he was in a darkened room. For awhile, he thought that he had indeed died and came to live in this abyss of gloom. He thought he was free, finally. But that wish was snapped from his weak hands when the door to the room opened and lights streamed in.

"Tezuka…Kuni-chan…you came back…you…" his hoarse voice gave way when he saw that it was not Tezuka, but his father. The little energy he had left slipped silently into the dark pit within his heart. He turned from his father and stared at the dark windows.

He stopped at his son's bedside. His pose so familiar that it brought back painful memories. Although he never admitted it out loud, he had missed Kunimitsu, Kunimitsu with his commanding presence, and Kunimitsu with his stubbornness and his loyalty. He hurt every time he remembered how his harsh words and coldness had driven his broken-hearted "son" to a bleak existence. He didn't want to lose his biological son to the same darkness he had lost Kunimitsu to.

Although he pretended that he didn't care about Kunimitsu, he had read and reread every single article about him. He had smiled proudly to himself when he saw how Kunimitsu rose in ranks in his rival's company. He frowned when he saw Kunimitsu with certain less-than-appropriate female associates. He had nearly cried when he saw Fuji drank himself to oblivion during the first few months. He had nearly given in and went to beg Kunimitsu's return when Fuji drowned himself with the sorrowful music from his piano.

He wanted the both of them to move on and judging by what Sakuno had told him, Tezuka apparently had done so. Suddenly he felt so old, he felt all his 58 years. He never thought that so many things would happen. He never expected to gain so much and lost just as much. He was tired.

Closing the door quietly behind him, he left Fuji to his thoughts, with Kunimitsu, he had no words, and with his own son, he had less.

Tezuka Kunimitsu, I love you, yesterday, today and tomorrow. But after tomorrow, I will forget about you. I will move on with my life. You will be my past, just as I was yours.

Three days later, Fuji emerged from his room. He was thin, he was fatigued and his eyes were cold. Winter had descend upon him, everything that once bloomed in the spring now laid dead and cold underneath the cold, cold snow covering the soul and heart of Fuji.

Tezuka woke up with a jerk. His body was bathed in cold sweat; Fuji's name was a lingering scream in his heart and mouth. Fuji, what happened? You were so cold…