Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 11: fairytales so beautiful, so deceitful

The night was sinisterly dark. He crossed the city to the other end of it in his BMW. The road was clear; this was one of the most prestigious areas in the entire city, besides his neighborhood.

He didn't know what woke him up that night, but he had the strangest dream. He dreamt that Fuji had come to him, to bid him farewell. He was so scared at the calm and cold finality in Fuji's voice. He had lost him that was his first thought when he jerked awake. When he realized that it was but a dream, he tried to calm himself down, but his pounding heart refused to heed.

Fuji, what happened? Talk to me, even if we are still eon's apart, talk to me like you used to, with your heart and your soul…please…

"Ohayo, otoo-sama"

"Ah…ohayo"

He looked up to see Fuji walking into the morning room. He was reading his papers and his first look at his son was shocking. Pale and listless, his face looked too old for his young son. But what truly shocked him were Fuji's eyes, the brilliant blue eyes once shone with love and hope, now dulled into a pale wintry blue.

He knew that losing Tezuka would kill Fuji, but what he didn't expect was Fuji withdrawing deep into himself. And frankly speaking, for the first time in so many years, he feared, with a heart-numbing fear.

Desperately searching for a neutral topic, he opened and closed his mouth several times. But before he could say anything, Fuji had looked into his eyes with his similarly blue eyes.

"Nani…?"

"Ah…that is…"

"I am alright, Otoo-sama. I just need to be alone." Fuji didn't look up from his breakfast, but continued to eat with waning strength. "I…I wish to go to Paris for a little while. This place holds too many memories, memories I wanted to leave behind."

"Syuusuke…perhaps it is time to leave the past in its rightful place, but…I can't bear to see you so hurt…" he never got to finish.

"I have gotten over him. I will never cry for him, ever again! I…I realized that no matter how much I love…how much I loved him, he will never forgive me…I just want to leave and start all over again, without him." Fuji's eyes burned with icy calm and fierce determination.

"Hai…hai…anything you want…"

"Thank you. I will start packing now, I wish to leave on the next flight to Paris." With that, Fuji swept out of the room with a careless grace that mirrored so much like the senior Tezuka.

Fuji my child, what had happened to you?

As soon as he closed the breakfast room door behind him, he collapsed onto his knees. He thought he had gotten over Tezuka. He thought he had. With the three days alone with his thoughts and pep talks, he had finally stepped away from all the pain and misery and started to view all these with cold indifference.

He had succeeded, at least he thought he had, until his father mentioned Tezuka's name again.

For so long, he had linked his name with Tezuka, to him, Tezuka was his other half of soul and heart. Now, he had lost Tezuka, and to finally rid himself of the lingering grief, he had to rip half of his soul and heart out.

Paris, the home he had started from, now he was sickened to his bone, chilled to the depth of his meager soul, he wanted to go home, his real home.

He had grown up with little belief in fairytales. His broken family had jaded him, and then the subtle slights he had always received after people knew that he was an illegitimate child. Bastard, son of a whore, filthy filth these were the words that had rang with constancy in his ears. It took him a while, but he had finally learnt to fend over those words with well-practiced moves and soon he was numb to those hurting insults.

His first encounter with fairytales was the first time he met Tezuka. It was as if, for the very first time, his soul had found respite from the cruel and harsh world. With Tezuka, he had learnt the beauty of fairytales. He lived and breathed fairytales, he was happy, just as Cinderella had with her Prince, Snow White with hers and Aurora with her Prince Charming. Never had he knew such bliss. Never, had he felt so complete and so wondrously blessed.

Yet in the end, it was Tezuka who had taught him about the deceitful nature of Fairytales, again.

Happily ever after was only a lie to soothe children and bring momentarily peace to the weary. Happily ever after was only a fabricated beauty to blind and to deafen the desperate people.

How ironic, love like fairytales was nothing but a dream, yet everyone, me included, wished to live in it forever, hoping never to wake up. Fuji gave a bark of bitter laughter.

Once again, after so many months, he was standing at the same airport again, waiting to leave this place, this time, and his heart wasn't torn with indecision, this time, and his heart was just so cold and brittle, if it was even there he thought resentfully.

He knew that Fuji was leaving today, but he didn't know what to do, what to say, what…to feel. Relief…? Pain…? Or perhaps just a sharp jab of loss…?

He standing behind a pillar, the only thing that now blocks them from one another, but deep down, both of them should know that distance was not the only barrier between them. Betrayal and past hurts were standing in their way, each loomed large and unbending. To get past them would take more time than any one of them could afford.

Slowly, he stepped from behind the pillar and stood directly behind Fuji. All Fuji had to do was to turn and he would see him. He waited and waited, with every passing second his heart clenched a little and his gut tightened a little. Please, I am here…Fuji…

When Fuji finally left for his flight to Paris, Tezuka finally realized what was wrong with their relationship. Actually, he had known, but he was too wrapped up in his own emotions to understand fully.

None of them ever look back, not once. When Fuji had left him, he had left without a backward glance. Similarly, the two times he had left Fuji, he too, left, never looking back. It was as if both of them were desperately looking forward, because both knew that the past was too painful to be reviewed again and again. Also because of that, both had lost so many chances at happiness.

Perhaps it was for the best, this final break-up, perhaps now both of them could move on and it should be for the best, shouldn't it?

He turned, his eyes burned painfully from staring so intently at Fuji's retreating back.

Slowly, as if the entire world was burdening down on his shoulders, he shuffled out. His face hard with fatigue and his heart heavy with pain, he left the airport which always seemed to take Fuji from him.

Perhaps one day, you could be the one saying goodbye to me, but until then, Ja ne, Fuji Syuusuke. Go to Paris and find peace with your life and perhaps if Fate allows, we could be friends again.

He knew Tezuka was there, but he simply lacked the courage to just turn and see the face which had gave him great joys and pains alike. He knew, but he couldn't take that final step. To turn to him, that would be a capitulation, to Tezuka's hold over him, and to his determination to get over him.

He didn't believe in fairytales anymore, just as he would forget Tezuka. Love was a fool's feeling and a drunkard's words. No more, he would no longer be that fool and drunkard.

Author's note: somehow the confrontation between Fuji and Tezuka can't really work out…perhaps the next chapter…this time I will be jumping straight to five years later.

Would Fuji really forget about his love, would he forgive Tezuka, after five years of absence, for a small discretion he caught him red-handed…oops… said too much…stay tune!