Second Best
By LateSleeper
Beta-reader: Yuki N Shuichi 4Eva
Disclaimer: I don't own anything…coz if I do…Shuichi wouldn't be hurting and Yuki would do the chasing.
I wonder why I didn't notice it then.
"Yuki did you see my favorite white sleeveless shirt?"
Yuki heard his lover behind the door of their bedroom. Loud clattering soon followed the question. Eiri felt some vein began to twitch in his head in exasperation.
"You're wearing it Baka!"
An eerie silence envelope the whole house after a few seconds.
"Gomen, Gomen! It must be the stress. I'm getting forgetful."
"Whatever brat. Just clean the damn mess you've cause." 'Che. Stupid gaki.'
Why didn't I foresee it coming?
"Mou, Yuki? Are you going to come to my concert?
Eiri pulled his paper down and look at his annoying lover for a minute or two, irritation evident on his handsome face.
"I already answered that. No. Baka, how many times would I tell you that I won't be caught dead watching your concert. You've ask that a million times, every fucking fifteen seconds."
A blush tinted Shuichi's face but the writer shoved all thoughts about it and continued with his reading. A perplexing silence followed suit.
"Yuki, are you coming to my concerts?"
Why didn't I see the signs? I live with him for pete's sake. Why am I the only one who doesn't realize…Fuck!
DAMN IT!
I should have listened to Tohma.
"Eiri-san, I really have to tell you something of grave importance. It's about Shindou-san."
Eiri glared down at the smaller man in front of him. He puffed some smoke then turned on his heels and walked away.
"I don't want to hear it."
Tohma hurriedly followed the novelist who was now about to enter the elevator up to his apartment.
"But Eiri-san, Shindou-san is…"
Without warning Eiri stopped on his track making the other man collide on him but before Seguchi's body could touch the floor Yuki grabbed hold of the keyboardist wrist, but non too gently that gave shivers to the famous president of NG.
"Quit ruining my life. My life and the brat's are none of your fucking business."
"But Eiri-san…"
Yuiki releases his hold on Tohma making the smaller blond fall on his butt with a soft thump. Tohma was wide eyed at what just transpired. For the first time he was actually scared of the blond novelist but he knew he had to do something, but before he could even utter a sound the author opened the door.
"I warn you, didn't I? One more word and I'll going to end every connection you have on me."
Yuki threatened Tohma without even facing the blond man as he closed the door of the elevator. He was damn piss at the man right now. He wondered what Tohma has against his Shuichi. "Pesky brats."
I should have listened to them: Nakano, that gaijin guy they call manager, my annoying brother Tatsuha…Mika.
Maybe it's all my fault…
Day by day his personality changes…he becomes more unpredictable and emotional …
Why didn't I see the sign…his sudden forgetfulness, his inability to keep track of time, his mood swings…and it was been going for two years and I didn't even suspected a thing. Fuck!
Then when I finally realize it, it's too late…he's gone. The Shuichi I know is gone…his's illness has taken him away from me.
I didn't expect it… I didn't realize….
I was confident that the brat wouldn't leave me…
I'm going to be stuck with him like a glue-gun-plastered-thing.
It was over confidence…
I was too sure of myself that I taken him for granted 'cause I know he'd still be there. I put my work over him cause I know he'd understand…even though he whines a lot and cry, deep inside I know he understand me. He understands…and he would just let it pass.
I could go anywhere, sometimes without notice…no goodbye, no reason, no phone calls, no nothing, but he would always wait for me. He would be there waiting at the sofa, alert on every single sound that would signal him of my arrival. He would be there, waiting patiently…and when I come home he would welcome me with open arms, he would sometimes wails and cry, telling me how worried he was and that I should never leave him again then he would tell me he loves, a declaration of his undying love with my sins already forgotten, as if I never had left him and made him worry.
I would say horrid things but still he's still with me. Every insult he would just take in….of course he cries after that but I know he had already forgiven me when I close my mouth shut. He always does forgive me.
Even if I'm the one who's wrong, he sometimes took the blame for himself.
I'm the most important person in his life. Nothing and no one could replace me.
He sees only me.
I'm his main man.
No one could ever fill that position.
I'm the number one in Shuichi's chart.
I rule his world.
His whole world revolves around me…no… I am his world…
…then.
Now…I no longer know where I stand. He got his little world of his own.
It's kinda funny that I was suddenly replace by some blue bear and a carton box he called a truck. My position that even his god- Ryuichi Sakuma didn't even qualify was given to his pathetic toys he got from our trash.
And the more hilarious thing is…now that I have time for him, he doesn't have time for me. I badly wanted to be with him but he would push me away from an absurd reason that I was making the blue bear –which he refer to as Kodaka-chan—cry.
It's driving me nuts to see him like this. To see him wear his favorite costume in bed and change after wards to his pajama and asking me to drive him to his concert before K kill him.
It's total mental torture.
But all I can do is to watch him silently. Watch him as he stir a glass of water he called coffee. Watch him as he pace thru and fro the room looking for the little blue bear he'd been clutching in his arm the whole time. Watch him shower with his clothes on or use anything he could grab on as soap. Watch him as he call he's friend from his preschool years on the remote control.
I had to stay calm as possible whenever he snaps at me because I shut off the T.V. when he himself did it. I tried hard to keep my patience as he screams at me for no reason at all.
I'm going crazy with rage with him sometimes… but I love him. I really do. So I patiently stayed with him and took care of him.
I would take him to the park when he goes on a tantrum, he always smile afterwards after he plays with the kindergarten kids…and it's worth the pain and irritation to see him smile like that.
I even make it to the point that I played with him when he ask me too. He would jump up and down our bed with glee as I try to tickle him. Sometimes he would pounce on me and demand to take him on a horse back ride. I would gladly oblige. We often times ended panting on the sofa where he would lay on my lap and fall asleep. I would then brush his hair off his face and steal a kiss from him as he lay there.
Sometimes we play 'playing-house', I would be the uncle and he would be the daddy and he's baby is his Kodaka-chan the blue bear. In our play I would sometimes tell him that I love him. There are times he would just ignore me but I continue proclaiming my love for him so that he'll remember that I do. There are also times he would answer me…he would say that he loves me too, and that he loves Kodaka-chan too, Hiro-chan and his baby sister Maiko. Whenever he answers that I could feel my heart swell and I want to cry.
There are times I would just randomly proclaim my love to him while eating or even taking a bath or watching T.V. I'd caress his cheeks and gently kiss him on the lips and say those three little words that he'd be dying to hear. He would tell me then that I was silly that he was a boy and boy shouldn't love another boy and I would tell him that it doesn't matter because I still love him and he would pout at that.
Whenever he cried I tried hard to restrain myself on crying with him. I often ask god if this was a punishment from all the wrong deeds I did. But no matter how hard it is I won't give him up…I'd still take care of him. I'd take care of him because I don't want them to take him away from me.
Yes, them. His family. They even went here one time to fetch him. They reasoned out that Shuichi might be a bother to me and my work and that they should take care of him.
Of course I refuse them. I don't even care if they want to settle it on court…Shuichi's staying with me. I won't let them take him away from me. I'd die if they do.
I want to be the only person he'd see whenever he had has his fleeting moments of sanity. I want him to see me…to recognize me, to be his universe again even for just a second.
Whenever we pray at night before I tuck him in our bed I would silently plead god to grant me two wishes and those are:
For him to remember who I am…and that he loves me.
:OWARI:
LateSleeper: Whaaa…my muse left me again…sigh