Title: Let Me Dream

Author: tenchisaz

Fandom: Hellsing

Summary: Walter reflections on feeling on a certain someone.

Pairing: WxS (big surprise)

Spoilers: None

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing or any of the characters.

Note: Let me know what you think. Reviews and constructive comments always

welcome. A big thank you to Dracschick for editing this for me.

Let Me Dream

I can feel my heart racing so hard, I'm sure it's ready to burst through my chest. As old as I am, I haven't felt this way before and, frankly, it unnerves me more than a little. You walk by me and smile that sweet smile that, for a creature like you, should not even be possible. How is this possible?

I'm old enough to be your grandfather, never mind your father. But these thoughts, these feelings, threaten to consume me completely. It's making me so tired to try and control them. I glance at you then, showing you that blank, even-tempered smile that I always wear for you. At that moment, I feel something inside twist in pain as you walk away. Always away from me. Yet, that is how it has to be. It's ludicrous that I have a crush on someone like you but I really just can't help it.

Would you believe me if I told you that I didn't even realise that I was falling for you? Yes, even me, the Angel of Death, is capable of such emotion. You totally evaded my defences, stealing my heart before I even realised it. I would gladly give you what's left of my tattered soul if I could. If only I could.

I walk silently a few steps behind you, watching you. Always watching you. Telling myself that I'm supposed to be heading in this direction anyway and that I'm not following you just so I can get another glimpse of you. You walk by some soldiers and nod in their direction before briskly walking on to your destination. I can see them following you with their eyes, nudging each other and grinning. Giving a cough as I walk by, I stare menacingly at them, causing them to avert their eyes and get back to their duties.

If I had been thirty year younger, they wouldn't have stood a chance. I could have shown you what a real man would have done to be by your side. I would have wooed you and seduced you, and you wouldn't have even noticed until you were mine. I would have loved you and adored you. Like it should be done. But, alas, I'm not thirty years younger. If only, if only.

You sashay down the corridor, turning the corner out of my sight but, never out of my mind. I keep walking straight and pass the same corridor you have gone down, trying to control the urge to look down, past where you were only a few short moments ago.

A few hours later, I'm sighing heavily as I sit staring at the computer screen in front of me. The chair I've been sitting in, makes my old back groan in protest as I restlessly shift back and forth. I have been staring at this report in front of me, not taking in a single word, as my mind drifts back again, to you.

I can't stop thinking of your gentle eyes, your soft voice. The way I can feel my head spin, as I smell your delicate scent whenever you walk by me. As I read the same sentence over and over again, I know it's never going to go in as I close my eyes and go to back to one of my favourite daydreams. With you.

We're standing on a balcony, overlooking the city at sunset. A warm breeze is blowing and you are standing in front of me, leaning against me slightly, with your arms wrapped around yourself. I move my hand up, and lightly play with one of your bangs that sway gently. I can hear you murmuring an approval. I lean back a little more so you can turn your head to look at me, smiling and blushing. Leaning in towards you slowly, I smile as I watch your eyelids flutter and close. Brushing against your lips, I can only imagine at the softness of them against mine. Your silky hair tickles my face as you tremble against me. Everything is perfect.

A noise behind me snaps me out of my reverie. The door is flung open and you burst in. Suddenly, you are there. There, in front of me. Your energy radiates from you as you smile and say something to me. I can hardly even hear the words you are speaking, as I can't drag my eyes from your lips. You tell me something about your coffin lid not closing properly and could I please get it fixed? That will mean I will have to be in your room, by your bed. I fight the blush creeping on to my face when you say that I'm that I'm your 'Knight in Shining Armour'. Then, with a fanged grin, you turn and walk out of the room. Your sweet scent clings to the air as I watch you go. I can breath a slightly sigh of relief as the tight smile on my face begins to crack at the thought of just being near your bed.

The thought of that causes less innocent 'daydreams' to crash around my head and I close my eyes once so I can see them playing in the darkness of my mind once again. Just one more time.

My breath hitches slightly as I picture you lying, sprawled sensually across my bed. An outstretched arm, one finger curling, you seductively beckon me closer. Closer. Unresisting, I manage to walk over and sit next to you. Marvelling at my luck, I trace a finger over the ivory skin stretched delicately over your collarbone. Loving your low, throaty purr, I let my hand wander down, over your entire body. Letting it creep lower. Lower. As I reach the hem of your skirt, your breath catches and I splay out my fingers, lightly scratching the delicate skin. I can hear you let out a shaky breath. It's perfectly delicious to see you looking up at me with glazed over, half-lidded eyes. You lay watching me while running your tongue over your fangs, murmuring my name. Just the sound of you voice sends devilish shivers down my spine. Who knew just someone saying my name could make me shake and shiver so? I smile as you say my name again, writhing under my touch. I frown as you say my name again only louder. Then again, louder still.

Blinking away the vision before me, I glance up to see you staring at me, frowning. The concern on your face is touching as you ask if I'm okay. Putting on my best non-committal smile, I reassure you, saying that 'I'm fine'. Though glancing quickly at you again, I don't think you believe me. You say that you forgot to ask if I could look at your Halconnen and thought that you would pop by again later. I can see that you're not convinced by my excuse as you nibble on your lip. I raise an eyebrow at the tempting sight before me and, in a fluid movement that takes even me by surprise, I find myself standing before you. Looking down at your red eyes as you smile up at me, I can feel something inside me spark. Then, the burning starts. Deep. Intense. All-consuming.

I offer you a small smile and a promise that I'm fine and that I'll see to your requests as soon as possible. With that, you beam up at me and walk out the door again. Watching you wave and walk away, all I can think is that this is the third time today you have walked out on me. As soon as you go, I close the door and lean on it, heavily taking deep breaths. I suddenly realise that I've forgotten how to breathe regularly during our short encounter. Placing a gloved hand to my forehead, I close my eyes and calmly tell myself that the situation is clearly and utterly ridiculous. Especially for a man of my age and station. Nothing will ever happen, no matter how much you drive me to the edge of reason. But I have my dreams. So, Miss Victoria, let me dream. Let me dream.