The doorbell rang. Boone put down what he was doing and went to answer it. He opened the door to reveal Shannon who was carrying Zara in her car seat.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," she replied. "I was bored so I figured I'd come see you seeing as you're a fellow housewife."
Boone gave her a look. He hated it when she did this. "I am not a housewife."
She laughed a little. "Of course you are. Jack goes out to work and you stay here all day and look after the house. You're a housewife."
Boone was going to come up with some kind of retort but he thought better of it. Getting into an argument with Shannon seemed too much like hard work right now. And he was pretty sure she was gonna win which he really wasn't in the mood for.
"You wanna come in?" he asked, moving slightly out of the way.
She smiled at him and walked past. Boone followed her through to the living room where she put Zara down on the coffee table and sat down on the sofa.
"You mind if I take her out?" Boone asked, walking over to Zara.
"Knock yourself out," she replied, sitting back on the sofa.
Boone leaning over Zara as he started to undo her safety straps. "Hey, sweetie," he cooed. "How are you today, huh?" He lifted her out of the car seat and placed her on his hip, rocking her slightly. "You just get bigger every time I see you, don't you?"
"Tell me about it," Shannon said. "She's not so easy to lug around all the time."
"Oh, but she's so cute," Boone replied, more to Zara than Shannon.
"Yeah, wait 'til you've got one of your own," Shannon warned. "You can't just hand them back when you're done playing."
Boone looked over at Shannon. "Actually, me and Jack have been talking about that," he began. He had decided not to talk to anyone about it until he and Jack had made a definite decision but he was having a hard time making said decision and Shannon was a mother so maybe she could give him some advice. But then he remembered that Shannon got pregnant because they were living on an island that had long since run out of any protection and it was pretty much take the risk or take up celibacy.
Shannon looked up, intrigued. "Really?"
"Yeah," he said, not sure where he was really going with this. "I know Jack wants kids and I think I kinda do so, y'know."
"Cool."
"Actually, we went to see a surrogate a couple of days ago," Boone admitted.
Now Shannon looked really interested. "You did?" she asked. "So you guys are serious about this? You're really gonna do it?"
"Well, we don't know yet," Boone replied. "We're still deciding."
"If you decide 'yes' you better get this house sorted out," she told him.
Boone looked around his lovingly renovated home. It was a hell of a lot of hard work getting it to look as good as it did and he tended to take any slightly negative comment very personally. Which he should perhaps be worried about but he was choosing not to be.
"What's wrong with my house?" he asked. It came out more wounded than he intended.
"You need to baby proof it and stuff," she commented.
"Hey, this place is safe for kids, what are you talking about?"
"Right, I'll just let Zara go play with those drill bits, shall I?" Shannon asked him, clearly laced with sarcasm.
"Well they wouldn't be there, would they?" he replied. "And anyway, four month old babies don't even play with things."
Shannon laughed. "God, you are so clueless, Boone," she commented. "How did you even get this far in life?"
Boone looked at Zara. "What does she play with?"
"Mostly my hair and earrings," she replied dryly. "And don't let her size fool you, she's got a mean grip."
Boone smiled at Zara. "Gonna grow up to be a hair-puller like your mommy?"
"I am not a hair puller," Shannon said, sounding a little annoyed.
Boone didn't bother to reply. He wasn't a housewife so she deserved it. Just because Jack was a doctor and he, strictly speaking, had no profession and spent all day in the house, that didn't make him a housewife. Even though he guessed, in the strictest sense, he probably was Jack's wife. Or husband. He still wasn't sure how that worked. Anyway, he was pretty sure that, if they did go ahead with this parenthood idea, he'd be the one left holding to baby, so to speak, while Jack went off to the hospital. Which is why Boone had to be sure before he gave this whole plan the go ahead. If he thought Jack would be main carer of the baby, or even if they were taking equal parts, he'd say 'yes' to Jack in a second. But if he had to spend all day with this baby, he had to make sure that he wanted it.
"Does she ever drive you mad?" Boone asked, gazing at Zara.
"You asking me or her?" Shannon questioned.
Boone looked at her. "If I was asking her I'm sure she'd say yes in an instant," he quipped.
Shannon gave him a look. "Not really," she replied. "I mean, there's times when I'm on my own with her and she won't shut up and I'm just at my wits end. But then I'll finally get her to sleep and I'll just look at her, so peaceful, so beautiful, and I forgive her of everything in a second."
Boone thought about her answer. "Strictly speaking that was a yes, though, right?"
Shannon smiled. "Right now I can't remember the last time I was mad at her, even though it was probably only a couple of hours ago," she replied. "I mean, when you're in the moment it kind of sucks, but, I don't know, overall, I guess it's kinda great being a parent."
Boone looked back at Zara. She was very, very cute. But, like Shannon said, it's different when you can't hand them back when you're done. He wasn't sure if he could picture looking after a baby all day, everyday. Now that the work in the house was getting finished he knew he'd have to do something with his time though. He really couldn't stand the thought of general unemployment again, he was bored out of his brain sitting around Sabrina's house all that time after the rescue. Plus, he was pretty sure that he really would be a housewife in that case. A bored, bored housewife. Which wasn't exactly how he saw his future. His chosen occupation was to 'make a house a home', that was his mission statement. He guessed that children would come under that heading. And, like he told Tayla, their family home was missing a family. But he was also aware of the fact that he'd said that slightly for effect.
"If you have to think about it so much, maybe it's not for you, Boone," Shannon suggested, bringing him out of his daydream.
He looked back over at her. "Tell me the truth," he requested. "If you weren't on that island. Or if you'd had some protection. Basically, if you'd had the choice, would you have gotten pregnant when you did?"
Shannon considered the question, which Boone appreciated. The last thing he wanted was some fairy tale answer or crap about how sometimes you don't know what you want until you get it.
"No," Shannon replied after a long pause. "I didn't want a baby. I'd never thought about having a baby. I don't like kids. Remember that stupid French brat? Nightmare. And she wasn't planned. It's not even like I thought about it that much. I was trying not to think about it. Whenever I was with Sayid I just pushed it to the back of my mind. I told myself that some couples try for years to get pregnant so the percentages probably weren't really that high." She paused. Boone could tell that island memories were coming back to her. "Then I missed my period. And I wasn't very happy about it. And I didn't tell Sayid. I waited until I missed three periods before I mentioned it to anybody. It was Jack. I..." she stopped, looking pained. Boone never knew she'd spoken to Jack about it. He always figured it was Sayid she told first. Why wouldn't she? "I asked him for an abortion," Shannon rushed out, looking incredibly guilty. Boone didn't know what to say. "He said he couldn't. He said even if he wanted to he couldn't do it. Not in the jungle. Not with what we had. Not without doing me in too." She stopped again, tears threatening in her eyes.
Boone put Zara down in the car seat and sat down next to Shannon. "Shan, why didn't you ever say anything?"
She looked at him levelly. "I wanted to kill my baby," she said. "It's not the kind of thing you bring up over lunch."
"But, I mean, when you came to me, when you told me, you were really excited," Boone stated, getting a little lost. He guessed Zara wasn't planned but he never knew Shannon actually didn't want her. She never gave that impression. "What changed things?" he asked.
"Sayid," she said simply. "Sayid wanted it. He got all excited. The look on his face was just amazing. And I did that. With this thing that was growing inside of me, I did that. He really wanted it. Wanted her. And I guess that made me want her too."
Shannon was looking fondly at Zara now and Boone could tell how much she loved her. So maybe there wasn't some thing that you were born with that determined if you were going to be a good parent or how much you'd love your kid when they came along. Maybe it just happens. And maybe there's more factors than that. After all, it's not just you and some kid. It's you and your partner and your kid. It's family.
Shannon turned to look at Boone. "I think you should go for it."
Boone smiled at her.