Disclaimer: I own a cat, more pairs of shoes than any one person could possibly need and an extremely overactive and inventive imagination. If you recognise it, I probably don't own it.
A/N: Well I've been slacking off on the updates and for that I apologise. I'm a procrastinator at heart so things get done very slowly. Updates come faster when I should be doing something else, like schoolwork, when they are replacing sleep (which is what they do in the summertime) they take longer. Thanks to those who've reviewed, I really appreciate it! (Honestly I do, it makes me want to write more!)
A/N 2: I apologise if this seems kind of disjointed. I've tried to blend things together as well as possible. I've started writing while I'm at work (summer job cut grass and pick litter in parks, not my career but good $$ for school.) Anyways I don't actually write on paper, I write it in my head, dialogue and all, as I work so I hope it turns out okay!
SPOILER ALERT!
there are spoilers (well actually there is one spoiler...) for "Zoe's Phoney Matrimony" in this chapter!
The episode "Zoe's Phoney Matrimony" would fit in in the chapter when they get home (it's sad that I don't remember what chapter that was and I'm too lazy to look it up)
Rebecca glanced over at Taylor as Zoe and Dan made their way upstairs, she rolled her eyes to the younger girl, winning herself a bright smile from Taylor. "Well let's go sit down shall we? I wanted to talk to all of you about dinner last night," Taylor turned and headed into the living room followed by Rebecca, who heard Hannah whisper to Cliff from behind her,
"Uh oh, we're in trouble now!" Rebecca turned and smiled,
"You're not in trouble Hannah," she reassured, waiting while the kids situated themselves onto various pieces of furniture before she began. It was a speech she'd rehearsed the night before, worried that without a script she wouldn't be able to make it through. "I wanted to apologise to all of you for the way I behaved at dinner yesterday. Hannah, you asked me a perfectly legitimate question and I closed down. It's inexcusable and I hope you all can forgive me," the three children nodded in unison as they heard a shower start upstairs. "I suppose you all want to know why I reacted the way I did when you mentioned Katy's father," again three heads bobbed affirmation, Rebecca forced herself to take a deep breath before beginning the sordid tale, "Well when I first found out I was pregnant with Katy I was surprised, she wasn't planned, not that I'd give her up for the world. My fiancé at the time didn't believe that Katy was his and he got very angry with me and he hit me. It only happened once and I walked out on him," Rebecca took a shaky breath, she'd left out some of the details that she thought wouldn't be appropriate for the kids. Not even Dan knew the exact specifics of her last night with Tom.
"Rebecca?" Cliff said, "Thanks for being honest with us, not many adults will do that they want to shelter us from stuff so we find out about it the hard way, by seeing it first hand or something. It's much better to hear about you standing up to him and walking out then having to see someone get beat up 'cause they don't know any better."
Dan came out of the bathroom to find Zoe seated on the edge of the bed, staring at her hands. As he got closer he could hear her quiet sobs and see the tears falling into her lap. He knelt before her and took her hands in his, "Zoe?" she looked up at him, the pain in her eyes made him hurt too, "Oh Zoe," he sighed, pulling her into his arms. "It'll be okay Zoe, we'll get through this, we'll help Taylor get through this," he rubbed her back gently as the sobs subsided into the occasional hiccup and then disappeared completely. She didn't move from his embrace, nor did he move to release her, content to give her silent strength. He felt her breathe deeply, trying vainly to calm her nerves before she had to return to all of the problems that awaited her. Dan leaned back so he could see her face, gently brushing the curls out of the way before leaning down to place a long, sweet kiss on her lips. He felt her relax almost immediately and wished he could continue kissing her until everything was resolved. Zoe broke the kiss and whispered,
"Thank you," softly to Dan.
"Any time sweetheart. All you have to do is ask," he replied, standing before reaching for her hand and bringing her to her feet. The couple proceeded to the livingroom to find Cliff heading out the door to get his ride to practice and Hannah already gone to her Firefly meeting. Taylor and Rebecca sat on chairs talking in hushed tones, stopping when the other adults approached.
"Well now that you two are presentable, shall we get started?" Rebecca asked as Dan and Zoe sank down to the couch, fingers intertwined. "Okay so Taylor is fine with you being here Dan, it's actually a good idea because the more pairs of eyes we have on her the better. So here's the deal; what Taylor has is similar to an addiction, it is going to be very difficult for her to stop on her own. She's close to the age where anti-anxiety meds are an option but I'd rather not resort to those unless it's absolutely necessary, I'm sure Dan remembers how I was when I first started on them."
"Yeah constant PMS," Dan retorted, trying to lighten the mood a little. Rebecca smirked,
"Yes some of the medications have adverse effects and they take about six weeks to start working and that's after a slow build-up to a decent dose."
"Wait," Taylor interrupted, "Why were you on medication?"
"Dan didn't tell you?" she asked, Zoe and Taylor shaking their heads, "Well when I was nineteen I was diagnosed with trich. After three different doctors and as many types of drugs I was finally, well, cured if you want to put it that way. That's one of the reasons Dan called me, an inside look at a recovering trich patient."
"So that's what you meant when you said you remembered her going through something like this when she was younger...I never really thought about that until now," Zoe said to Dan. He released her hand and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her trembling body closer to him.
"I'll tell you now that this will not be easy for her to beat and she will have to at least unconsciously fight it for the rest of her life. Trich is similar to anorexia in that she will always struggle with it but with a supportive family she can get through it. Zoe, you and Taylor need to discuss whether it would be a good idea to tell Hannah and Cliff what is going on or if it's best they don't know." Rebecca turned to address Taylor, "Okay so for treatment, I'm going to put you on a low dose potassium supplement, there are some recent studies out that show a correlation between trich and potassium levels. I'm going to monitor you very closely for the first few weeks on it because high levels of potassium can cause heart problems so we'll have to be careful. The dosage is low so there shouldn't be any problems but it's always best to air on the side of caution. I'd like to continue having sessions with you over the next few weeks, about once a week but we can do more if you feel you need them." Rebecca handed Taylor a shopping bag, "This bag is what sufferers call a 'Bag of Trichs.' It's a bunch of things that will help you keep your hands busy once we pin down your triggers. There's some info I printed off the net last night that you and your aunt and anyone else can read if you feel so inclined." Rebecca returned her attention to Zoe and Dan, "You two, and Hannah and Cliff if you tell them, are charged with the task of keeping an eye on Taylor. If you see her hand gravitate towards her head, point it out to her, much of her pulling is done subconsciously. Okay that about does it," she checked her clipboard quickly, shifting Katy in her arms to free a hand, "Is there anything any of you can think of that you want to ask me about?"
"Can I go now? My friends are gonna be here soon to get me," Taylor asked.
"Yeah sure Tay, be home by six," Zoe replied, watching her young niece trudge up the stairs.
"Zoe?" Dan said softly in her ear, "I have to go run some errands and I should probably go home for a bit. Do you want me to come back later? I'll bring dinner."
"Okay," she replied, Dan noticed that she seemed distracted but decided not to push her to talk right then. He leaned in and kissed her forehead tenderly, "See ya soon." Zoe turned back to face Rebecca as the door shut behind Dan and Taylor, who had raced down the stairs at her friends insistent honking. Rebecca was sitting cross-legged on the couch, feeding Katy and looking at Zoe expectantly. "What?" Zoe asked.
"What is it you want to talk about?" Rebecca looked down at Katy and smiled as the baby's eyes slipped closed before turning her attention back to Zoe.
"What do you mean? I didn't say I wanted to talk about anything," Zoe was confused, "Was I really that obvious?"
"Zoe, I get paid to read people and I do it well. There's obviously something on your mind, wanna talk about it? Not doctor to patient, woman to woman." Zoe nodded resignedly, "Shoulda known she'd read me like a book."
"I feel...I feel guilty about something I did recently," Zoe paused, "God I feel like I'm confessing my sins," she joked, trying to calm her nerves. Rebecca smiled encouragement and Zoe continued, "Ever since Sue, my sister, died I've been trying to set a good example for the kids. I left my wild child days behind me in Vegas, or at least I tried to. For a while I dated one of Cliff's teachers, he asked me to go away for a weekend and at first I said yes but then I worried about what kind of example that would be for the kids, Taylor especially. I changed my mind and then a while later he asked me to marry him. I turned him down," Zoe paused to take a breath, "This is leading somewhere, I promise. Then Dan and I go to Catalina and things heat up between us and after we get back we go on the other assignment where we actually got married," Zoe absently fingered the rings still in place on her left hand, "And we still haven't really dated. It was all such a whirlwind courtship and everything has been so crazy but we didn't consummate the marriage because I wasn't ready. Then last night I was really upset and so was Dan and we finally made love together and it was possibly the most incredible experience of my life. The only problem is, now I feel like I did something wrong by looking for comfort in his arms like that. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it for a second but there's still a nagging guilt..." Zoe sighed, it felt good to pour her heart out to another woman.
"So you feel like you shouldn't be able to seek solace in Dan's arms because Taylor doesn't have an easy escape like that," Zoe nodded, "Well hon I have to tell you, what you did last night was perfectly acceptable. You needed an escape, a few hours where the problems of your world just fade away. You're a woman, you have needs and when you are as in love as you and my brother are there is nothing wrong with going to him for comfort. Taylor will need an escape, it's something I'm going to talk to her about in our sessions, I've got some recommendations of some activities she might enjoy." Rebecca's cell phone rang at that moment, the sweet melody of Moonlight Sonata calling her attention to it, "Sorry Zoe I have to take this," she said, looking up from the caller display.
"That's okay, I'll just be in the kitchen," Zoe moved from the couch, feeling much better now that she had talked to Rebecca. She worked quietly, overhearing the other woman's conversation.
"Hey hon, how are you?...I'm good, Katy's just having a nap...No, not yet...No Mike. Please don't. You know the danger I'm in just being here with Kat, if you were here too it'll be too obvious!...Michael he'll find out...Mike please..." Rebecca let out an exasperated sigh, "Fine...No I will not be happy about this...We'll talk about it later...No Mike we are not having this discussion now...Goodbye." Rebecca ended the call with an furious stab to her cell phone before she threw it angrily at the ground, "Fuck, Mike! What is wrong with you!" she seethed, trying to keep her voice low, though she sensed Zoe had probably heard much of what was said anyways.
"Rebecca?" Zoe's voice drifted from the kitchen doorway, "Wanna talk about it?"
"No," Rebecca replied bluntly, "I need some time to wrap my own head around this. I have to talk to Dan about this anyways so later okay?" She noticed the slight hurt look on Zoe's face, "I really appreciate the offer but I'm kind of between a rock and a hard place at the moment. It's just going to take me a while to get it all sorted out." Zoe nodded her understanding and the two women parted ways for the day, with Rebecca promising to return at six for dinner with the family.