Chapter Five: Falling

Disclaimer: I do not own the TT

(Three weeks later)

Raven hid a giggle behind one hand as Beast Boy rolled around the hard rock floor of the cave laughing. He sat up wiping his eyes still laughing

"Oh man, he really said that?" Raven nodded trying to keep from laughing her guts out. Instead she smiled

"He really did." she replied. Beast Boy shook his head. They were laughing over a joke Cyborg had made up and told Bumble Bee who had taken extreme offense over it. Now she was mad and wouldn't talk to him for a million dollars.

"You hungry?"

"No. You use the food. I'm not very hungry." Beast Boy gave her an odd look then tossed her an apple. Raven caught it hastily and looked at him

"You're skinnier than usual Rae. Eat." Raven sighed in defeat and bit into the apple. So far no one had discovered Beast Boy's hiding place.

Raven made weekly visits to the cave to tell Beast Boy the news. She had brought a radio the last trip and right now it was playing songs softly in the background. She always wore civilian clothes and made sure to take off her belt and brooch. Both were signaling devices that Robin could track her through. She made the excuse that she was going to the library but she knew that Cyborg suspected she was visiting Beast Boy behind Robin's back. But he said nothing when she left every Saturday morning and came in late in the evening. Often after dark

"Raven?"

"Yes?"

"When the Titans first started did you ever think anything like this was gonna happen?" Raven finished off her apple before answering

"No. I thought my father would come to Earth and destroy everything. I didn't even think I'd live to see my seventeenth birthday."

"That must've been hard. I mean knowing that you were going to do something like that and you weren't sure if you could stop it."

"It was. But you know what?"

"What?"

"You gave me the courage to at least try. You were always so happy and full of life even when things were as dark as they could get. You were always bringing me back into the light." Beast Boy's cheeks turned a light red color and he rubbed the back of his neck

"So, you guys haven't had any emergencies?"

"Just the usual. Nothing with that man."

"Cameron. His name is Cameron." Raven looked at him. He was lying on his back looking at the ceiling of the cave

"How do you know?" Beast Boy rolled onto his stomach trying to find a way out of the hole he'd just gotten himself into. Raven touched his shoulder

"Beast Boy, look at me." he obeyed hesitantly "Whoever you were before the Titans was not the annoying, happy go lucky, green changeling I know. I don't care who you were. I like you just the way you are now." Beat Boy smiled exposing both fangs. Raven returned the grin then leaned against the cave wall

"Thanks Rae. I like you the way you are now too."

"What do you mean?" Beast Boy looked at her

"You're just so much more open with me now. I mean before I couldn't talk to you without getting a death threat in the process."

"I know and I'm sorry for it. It was just so strange to have… people around me. People who tried to make me laugh until I was ready to put them through a paper shredder." Beast Boy laughed

"I would've deserved it. I really should've given you your space." Raven smiled at him

"I'm glad you didn't."

The two continued talking until the afternoon sun made their eyelids droop. Beast Boy yawned and turned into a dog and curled up in a ball before drifting off to sleep. Raven soon followed suit, laying down on the sleeping bag next to him.

Beast Boy opened his eyes and yawned

"Dude, what time is it?" he wondered out loud seeing that the whole cave was pitch black. Nearby Raven stirred and sat up. She gasped

"It's almost midnight!" she said jumping to her feet "What am I going to say to Robin?" Beast Boy frowned and stretched out putting his arms behind his head

"Don't worry about it Rae. Just stay here for the night." Raven looked at the mouth of the cave then at her green friend. She slowly lowered herself back down on the sleeping bag

"We don't have enough blankets for two people." she pointed out feebly. Beast Boy shrugged and sat up slightly

"So, I'll turn into a dog. It's no big deal Rae. I'm inviting you to stay the night." Raven sighed and finally gave in lying down on the blankets

"You're sure you don't mind?" as a response Beast Boy turned into a large hairy dog and curled up a few feet from her.

When Raven woke up she heard music playing. They must've left the radio on. To her surprise Beast Boy was no where to be seen and there was a CD playing in the CD player just loud enough for her to hear

I was alone in the dark. Let down by God. Closed the curtain on my heart. So the world could not see all the demons in me. Told myself I was free.

And you showed me how wrong I could be.

Now I'm standing on a mountain of rubble that once was a wall. Took years to build around me. And you came along and you tore it down like it was nothing at all. Now it's a little scary… Learning to fall.

When you looked in my eyes. Past the fear and false pride you saw goodness inside. I can't believe how I feel I believe love is real and I'm ready to heal.

And you showed me how right I can be.

Now I'm standing on a mountain of rubble that once was a wall. Took years to build around me. And you came along and you tore it down like it was nothing at all. Now it's a little scary learning to fall.

I was holding on. Now I'm letting go. I was holding on. Now I'm letting go. I was holding on Now I'm letting Go…………

Now I'm standing on a mountain of rubble that once was a wall. Then you came along and you tore it down like it was nothing at all. Now it's a little scary. Learning to fall…………

Raven was speechless after the song ended. It described her to a T. She lay back down for a moment to think.

She wanted someone to care for her like she was special. Like no one else in the world mattered. But who was the person who could knock down her wall?

"Raven? You up yet?" Beast Boy came in dragging a few large branches behind him. He smiled at her then set around to building up the fire.

Raven looked the changeling up and down for a moment. Beast Boy was her friend. Maybe he could give her advice. She sighed and stretched out deciding to ask him later

"What time is it?" she asked popping her neck one way and then the other. Beast Boy shrugged and tapped his wrist. Raven looked down and sighed again. Nearly noon

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Beast Boy shrugged 'Because you looked like an angel' he whispered in his mind

"You looked like you needed some sleep." Raven had been looking paler and a little thinner lately and his gut told him something was wrong. He stood and face the girl

"Raven, you're not hurting yourself or anything are you?" Raven shook her head "Because if I had anything to do with it I'd want you to tell me. Okay?"

"I promise I'm not doing anything Beast Boy. I just haven't been feeling to well lately." she admitted. He didn't believe her. She could tell. She rolled up her sleeves showing her wrists

"See? No scars. I promise I haven't been doing anything to myself. I swear." Beast Boy smiled and nodded

"Okay Raven, I believe you. I just don't want you upset on my account." Raven shook her head

"The only person I would be upset with is Robin. And that's for treating you like he did."

Breakfast or rather lunch was a plate of tofu for BB and two PB&Js for Raven. The two talked about anything that popped into their minds until Beast Boy changed their current subject

"Raven, do you think that you could find those rings that Cyborg used on that undercover mission at the HIVE?"

"I suppose so. Why?"

"I was thinking that if you found them, I could use them and we could go out in town and do something. I'm going to drive myself crazy if I stay here for another week."

"I told you living in a cave would get to you after awhile." Raven teased. The changeling stuck out his tongue and to both his and Raven's surprise she did the same. She quickly stopped

"I'm hanging out with you too much. You're rubbing off on me." Beast Boy chuckled and looked down at his frayed jeans and ratty looking tee shirt

"Well my clothes are in need of a wash. If you get the rings I can take them down to the Laundromat and wash them. I probably need some new ones too. These jeans were bought for me when I was four foot nothing." Raven giggled behind her hand

"Alright. I'll try to find them. I'll come when I get them."

"Bye Raven." Beast Boy said as she floated off the edge of the cliff where the cave was located. She waved and took off towards the Tower.

Robin was pacing in the main room as she knew he would be. She came in, once again in her uniform. Hood up, blank, bland expression in place. She pulled out the pans without a sound and started making tea. The others still had to realize her presence. Robin was pacing and Starfire and Cyborg were watching him go back and forth

"Robin, sit down. I am sure Raven is fine. She id perfectly capable of taking care of herself." the alien beauty said pulling him down on the sofa

"I can't sit down Star. She could be hurt or captured. And she doesn't have her link or anything else so we have no means of tracking her."

"Aw I didn't know you cared Robin." Raven said sarcastically as she floated into the living room with her tea mug. Robin was on her in half a second

"Where were you all night? What were you thinking taking off like that?" he continued to rant and Raven just stood there until it got to be too much.

She slapped her hand over his mouth and gave him her famous "The Glare of Impending Doom." as Beast Boy had called it. In other words Robin knew he was in trouble. She rarely glared anymore. At least until Beast Boy had left that is. His disappearance had changed Raven's whole demeanor back to the cold person she had been when the Titans had first met

"Now," she said in an icy monotone "I am going to remove my hand from your mouth. And when I do you will stop yelling and we will discuss this like young adults. Understand?" Robin nodded and she removed her hand. He sat on the sofa and she did the same. Cyborg and Starfire moved to one end of the sofa and hid behind it peeking over the edge watching and waiting

"Where were you all night?" Robin asked through gritted teeth. Raven took a sip of tea making him wait for her answer

"I went to the library until it closed. I didn't feel like coming home so I went to my café and wrote some in my poetry book. Then I came home."

"When? We were waiting up all night for you." Raven gave him that look that said 'are you really that stupid?'

"I teleported into my room. It was probably around midnight." Robin considered this story for a long time until he finally nodded

"Alright. But next time tell us when you're coming home." Raven just sipped her tea looking at the rocky ridge where Beast Boy was probably bored out of his mind.

Later that afternoon while Cyborg and Robin played video games and Starfire was cooking Raven slipped into her meal friend's room. She felt guilty for stealing from him. She had no doubt in her mind that Cyborg would be more than happy to let her have the rings. He missed Beast Boy. He was his gaming buddy. His brother of sorts

"Raven? What are you doing in here?" Raven's whole body went into shock as Cyborg stepped into the room

"I… uh…" the teen looked down at her while she tried to think of an excuse. Nothing came to mind. Finally Cyborg held up a hand

"I'm going to guess you're looking for these?" he asked pressing a button. A panel flipped out from his work bench displaying two pairs of holographic rings. He handed them to Raven

"I know you're visiting BB."

"I figured you did."

"I'm not going to tell Robin." he said closing the panel and sitting at his desk. Raven stood

"You're not?" it was a statement. She had known he wouldn't tell

"Nope. If he's happy that's fine with me. Now listen." he pointed to the silver rings "These are for you. I made them in case you wanted to go to the mall and not be recognized for some reason. Just think of whatever you want to look like and that's what'll happen. They don't change your eyes though. Anyway, the blue ones will work for BB. Tell him I said Hi."

"I will." she said hiding the rings in a pocket on the inside of her cloak "Thanks Cyborg. You're the best."

"I know. Now go see the grass stain and have some fun."

"I will. Tell Robin… I dunno. Use your imagination."