Disclaimer: see chapter 1.

Uncommon Law

By Random1377

Chapter 2

For a while, nothing changed. True to her word, Asuka sent her paperwork off the next day, after watching Shinji sign it to 'make sure he wasn't trying anything funny,' and that weekend, Misato took all the Children out to dinner. Not steak dinner – she did use most of her check for bills – but dinner nonetheless.

Asuka never even questioned where she had gotten the extra cash.

Shinji found it rather easy to forget that he was a married man, partly because Asuka and Misato had made so little fuss about things, and partly because there really wasn't anything to make a fuss about.

As he had said – nothing changed.

Until the next Tuesday.

"Ayanami."

"Present."

I wonder if I should make Italian food tonight, Shinji wondered as the teacher took roll that morning, Asuka mentioned something about not having good lasagna since leaving Germany

"Burton."

"She's out today, sir."

I think I have a pan big enough to bake it, I just need a recipe.

Shinji continued to ponder over dinner as the roll went on, unaware that his name had not been called.

"Karisawa."

"Here."

"Katsuragi."

Shinji blinked and looked up from his musings.

"Katsuragi… Shinji," the teacher called, adjusting his glasses as he looked at the roll. "Oh… I see," he said, nodding as he read whatever was noted on his sheet, "Sorry about that, Ikari… you're probably not used to your new name yet. Oh, and congratulations."

Had class not been about to start, everyone would have been staring… as it was, Shinji's computer laptop practically exploded with instant messages, and he was very, very thankful that Asuka had been called in for a synch test.

He could not even imagine the bloodshed that was to come when she found out.

As discretely as he could, Shinji edged his toe under the desk and kicked the power cord until it came loose. "Sensei," he called, raising his hand and getting to his feet, "my laptop's broken – may I be excused to get a replacement?"

The teacher sighed. "Fix it after class," he said tiredly, "just use a pen and paper, Ik- Katsuragi… it was good enough in my day."

"Y-yes sir."

Bowing his head, Shinji made himself very small.

It didn't save him.

"You're banging Misato?" Touji demanded the second the teacher had left the room for lunch break. "You lucky bastard!"

"I'm not… sleeping with her," Shinji insisted, noting (with much appreciation) that his two friends had positioned themselves rudely in front of his desk and glared until the curious crowd dispersed, "I'm just married to her."

And for reasons they could not explain, men everywhere suddenly sneezed.

"But you could."

"Well, yeah," Shinji said helplessly, "but so could you. I mean, you don't have to be married to have sex with someone."

"Sure helps, though," Kensuke observed. "So you're just doing it to help her out, huh? Better not tell anyone that part."

"Yeah," Touji agreed, "people might think you're a fag."

Kensuke rolled his eyes. "Well, that's not quite what I meant," he mused, "but Suzuhara's got a point."

"Shh, shh," Touji said suddenly.

"What, is someone coming?"

"No, I was just thinking about something Shinji just said."

"What?" Shinji wondered.

"The part about me having sex with Misato."

Kensuke snorted. "Yeah, in your dreams."

"Exactly," Touji said with some satisfaction, "and it's hard to dream with you yammering, so shut up."

Shinji and Kensuke exchanged disgusted glances as the other boy closed his eyes and laced his fingers behind his head. By mutual accord, they left without another word.

( 0 0 0 )

Misato yawned as she stepped into the apartment and slipped her shoes off. It had been a long day, but not terribly stressful, so she was tired without quite being exhausted. And hungry, she realized as she caught a whiff of whatever Shinji was cooking.

Very hungry.

"Honey, I'm home!" she shouted, taking great pleasure in hearing two pans knock into each other.

Man I love playing with that kid.

"Is it done?" she asked, finding Shinji rearranging things on the stove as she came into the kitchen.

"Not yet," Shinji said, taking off his apron and gesturing for her to follow him into the living room. "Needs to simmer."

Misato pouted, glancing longingly at the stove before accompanying Shinji. "What's up?"

"My name," Shinji blurted. "I'm Shinji Katsuragi now!"

"Oh?" Misato said. "Is that part of the common law deal?"

"I don't know," Shinji protested, "they just… changed it." Frowning, he said, "Why mine and not yours?"

"Probably because I'm older," Misato observed. "Name changes usually go female to male, but sometimes, if the woman is-"

"I don't mean to interrupt," Shinji interrupted, "but can I change it back?"

Misato shrugged. "Do you really care that much?"

Mulling it over for a moment, Shinji whispered, "Yeah, I do… Ikari was my mother's name."

"Oh, right… sorry," Misato said, "umm… do you mind keeping it until the divorce? Changing names is almost as much paperwork as divorce."

"As long as it's temporary," Shinji agreed. "You're right, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to get so worked up."

Misato waved a hand. "Forget it," she said brightly, "actually, it's kind of cute." She gave him a lopsided smile. "Seeing you get worked up kind of relieves me… you're not passionate about very much stuff."

"I'm not?"

"Huh uh."

"Hmm."

Shinji's eyes widened as the front door to the apartment opened with a bang.

Misato tilted her head as a string of German words (curses, she guessed) filled the air.

"…and speaking of passionate."

"Thiiiiiiiiird!"

Though his knees felt a lot like they should be knocking, Shinji stood his ground – mostly because Misato was between him and the clearly irate redhead, and the coffee table was between him and his room, making it so that if he made a run for it, he would trip and break his neck.

Which may, he thought, be preferable to facing Asuka's wrath.

"I-in here."

Asuka stomped into the living room. "You cheating little bastard!"

Shinji moved further behind Misato. "Ch-cheating?" he sputtered, "but you filed the paperwork yours-"

"It's not final yet," Asuka cut in, jabbing a finger at Shinji, "which means you're mine until then. Now as your wife, I demand that you take me to my room and ride me until my bedsprings squeak and my toes curl!"

Misato rolled her eyes as Shinji swooned. "You know his heart can't take this kind of abuse," she sighed, "and were you aware that you can't keep a straight face when you're lying?"

Asuka shrugged. "Eh, I wasn't trying that hard," she said absently.

Recovering his wits, Shinji timidly said, "You're not… mad?"

"Why would I be?" Asuka snorted. "Like I care if you two are screwing the system – puh-lease." She grinned suddenly. "Though with Misato married, it does leave Mister Kaji completely available. Now if you'll excuse me… I have a phone call to make."

Shinji watched her glide into her bedroom with her head held high, pausing only to pick up the receiver for the cordless phone before closing the door and turning the simple lock she had installed herself. "Huh," he mused, "guess everyone's a winner."

Turning around, however, he found Misato frantically dialing her cell phone.

Well, he thought, almost everyone…

Continued…

Author's notes: short chapters, rapid deployment, that's my motto for this fic. You'll know I'm running short on ideas when the chapters get further apart. I figure I have about 6-7 chapters worth of scenes for this one, but hey, I've been wrong before.

Hawk pre-read again, cuz he's helpful like that.