Disclaimer: see chapter 1.

Uncommon Law

By Random1377

Chapter 3

Shinji found, during the next two days, that gossip somehow traveled faster than the speed of sound. By the time he went in to NERV for synch tests, everyone had gotten the word that he was now Mister Katsuragi… and everyone felt the need to give him a hard time about it – especially, for reasons Shinji could not understand, Mister Hyouga, who seemed particularly grumpy when Misato playfully ruffled Shinji's hair and teasingly told everyone on the bridge that they better keep their hands off her husband.

Add to this the fact that Asuka had been cranky since Misato had out-dialed her the day Shinji had found out about his new name, and you end up with a very nervous, very jittery Third who spent his time avoiding everyone – especially the redhead, just in case she decided to vent her frustrations on him.

He certainly didn't want to be a battered husband.

It's probably a good thing that I'm not going to stay married to her TOO, he mused as they climbed out of the test plugs, she'd find a way to get me to make her breakfast every day, and walk to school with her, and… wait, maybe we've been married since she moved in.

"Tests are done for the week," Ritsuko informed them over the intercom, "you're free until Monday."

"Thank God," Asuka mumbled, "I'm going to get drunk."

Shinji tripped over his own feet, catching himself on one of the thick catwalk railings before he could fall. "Drunk?"

"I'm old enough… in Germany," Asuka pointed out bitterly, "I just need to find place here that'll serve me – or just go home and raid Misato's stash, one or the other."

"But, but…" Shinji tried to find a good argument, "but you shouldn't!"

Quite obviously, he failed.

"It's good enough for your wife," the Second said flatly, "and I definitely don't want to be sober while the two of you are around playing kissyface."

"We're don't-"

"Katsuragi."

Shinji blinked as he realized that he was the one being addressed.

"Hmm?"

"Will you… let go?"

Glancing over his shoulder, Shinji found that what he had mistaken for a railing was actually the First Child's thigh… and a rather high point on her thigh, as well.

"Gahh!"

Yanking his hand away, Shinji toppled over backward, hitting his head on the floor with a rather meaty 'thunk' and producing some very interesting spiral patterns in front of his eyes.

"…ow."

"Idiot."

Shinji tried to rise, but found himself restrained by four surprisingly gentle hands. Blinking a few times to clear his vision, he found both Asuka and Rei kneeling on either side of him and keeping him from moving, their eyes studying his face intently to see how bad the damage was.

"How many fingers?" Asuka asked quietly, holding up one gloved hand.

"Er… six?"

Asuka glanced at Rei. "Concussion?"

"Unlikely, but possible," the blue-haired girl replied. "Katsuragi… let me see your eyes."

"Call me Ikari."

"Hmm?"

Shinji closed his eyes, no longer even aware of what he was saying.

"I like the way it sounds when you say Ikari…"

As he passed out, Asuka threw her hands up in the air. "Super," she muttered, "married to Misato, living with me, hitting on you. Casanova, eat your heart out."

Lifting her eyes, she found Rei gazing consideringly down at Shinji.

"…interesting."

Before Asuka could comment on this, the medical team arrived, strapped Shinji to a board, and hustled him away to the infirmary, where it was found that he had simply blacked out… though when he woke, he was nearly given a concussion as Asuka smacked him several times while hurling incomprehensible German curse words at him.

Shinji had no idea why she was so mad.

…Asuka probably didn't either.

( 0 0 0 )

"So, how are the scores?"

Ritsuko shrugged, pouring over her paperwork as Misato came into her office. "Eh, same as always," she murmured. "Your husband will have to have another test tomorrow to see if that bump on the head affected him at all, but I'm sure everything will be ok."

Misato nodded, folding her arms over her chest as she replied, "Damn, so that means no sex tonight, huh? Or can you do the deed the night before a test?"

Determined not to show her shock at the mere suggestion of the operations director sleeping with the Third Child, Ritsuko coolly replied, "No, synch tests are not affected by minor events, so three minutes of exertion shouldn't affect him too much."

Grinning wolfishly, Misato replied, "Three? I'll bet he could go for at least four."

"Wanna lay money on it?"

"You sure you don't want to ask that a different way?"

Cursing, Ritsuko marked her test sheets. "You win this round, Major," she said icily, "but one of these days, I will make you blush."

"Dream on, Ritsu," Misato said proudly, "making me blush would be like making Rei want to try her hand at acting – only harder."

Ritsuko sighed. "I guess I should just stick to making Shinji's nose bleed, then."

"Hey!" Misato complained. "That's my husband you're talking about! I'm the only one that gets to make his nose bleed!"

Smiling faintly, Ritsuko mused, "Maybe I'll wear that two piece to check the coolant systems tomorrow – I've caught him looking at me before, you know… I'll bet if I even suggested that I was interested he would-"

"Watch yourself, Akagi," Misato said haughtily, "don't think you can horn in on my action just because you work with him. I get to do it with him because I'm his wife."

"Well maybe we should just see who does it better!"

Maya, having entered the room in time to hear just the end of Misato's tirade, and Ritsuko's rejoining comment, gasped in shock.

"Sempai!"

Rounding on the tech, Ritsuko planted her fists on her hips. "Oh, so it's ok for her?" she demanded, having no idea that she was holding an entirely different conversation than she thought. "Just because she's 'married' to him doesn't mean she gets to have all the fun!"

Blushing furiously, Maya stammered, "Well… well some things… you just can't do that!"

"You just watch me," Ritsuko declared, "by the time I get done with him, he'll never-"

She cut herself off as Misato – barely containing herself – leaned over and whispered something in her ear. Pursing her lips, Ritsuko looked at Maya's red face and awkward stance, glancing at Misato from the corner of her eyes as the purple-haired woman finally broke into gales of laughter.

"Ahem," the blonde cleared her throat, "carry on, Lieutenant."

Still laughing, Misato gasped, "You're not… gonna clear that up?"

Ritsuko shook her head as her understudy left the room. "Nah," she said quietly, "let her figure it out on her own, I'm not in the mood to explain it to her."

"Could lead to problems later," Misato said in a singsong voice. "And besides… you didn't even ask why she stopped by in the first place."

"Aw crap!"

As the blonde hurried out the door, Misato broke into a fresh bout of giggles… but as soon as the door was shut, she cut them off, striding out of the room and heading for the infirmary to check on Shinji.

On the way down, she unbuttoned the top three buttons on her blouse, thinking of how many excuses she could find to lean over his bed and show him the view. A challenge had been issued, damn it, and she was not about to lose to Ritsuko, of all people – not when it came to getting a guy hot and bothered.

If she lost to a woman that filled her house with cat memorabilia, she might as well just have a sex change.

Continued…

Author's notes: wow, this one was even shorter than the last! Next one has more substance, though, so don't complain just yet. Well, complain if you want, but it won't really CHANGE anything. Heh

Hawk pre-read again. If I keep him busy with that, he won't have time to write his own stories! Wahahha! My evil plan comes to light!