Disclaimer: see chapter 1.

Uncommon Law

By Random1377

Chapter 6

When Misato finally stopped laughing (which took some time) she examined the subpoena, her lips moving as her shoulders hunched with repressed giggles. "Hmm," she hummed, handing the piece of paper back to Asuka, "guess we need to get to the courthouse and clear this up, Missus-"

"Don't even say it," Asuka threatened darkly, "just get your damn keys and let's go! Unbelievable… this was supposed to be a simple procedure, damn it!"

Misato nodded. "Yeah, that's what my doctor said when I-"

Lifting a hand to cut her off, Asuka said, "Enh! Not the time for jokes!"

"No?" Misato said innocently, "And here I thought it was the perfect time… Missus Katsur-"

"I said don't!"

Misato turned to Shinji, ignoring Asuka entirely as she mused, "Your wife has a short fuse."

Without even thinking, Shinji replied, "Which one?"

"Argh!"

"…never mind."

"Keys," Asuka demanded, shaking with rage as Shinji shrank into his seat, "keys, car, go, drive, court, fix!"

As sweetly as she could, Misato said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say."

Seeing that the redhead was on the verge of doing something violent, Misato sighed.

"Fine, fine," she said tiredly. "And here I was hoping for a nice relaxing evening with my husband."

Abruptly, Asuka smiled. "Well, once this is all straightened out, you can have him all to yourself… I've got a date with Kaji tonight."

Misato rose to her feet, shaking her head with mock weariness. "Asuka," she said patiently, "it doesn't matter what you call your ha-"

"I'm serious."

Shinji, who had resumed eating while the two argued, nodded as Misato looked at him. "It's true," he said around a mouthful of food, "I was there when he said he'd take her to dinner."

If she took this news poorly, Misato hid it very well… though she did get her flight jacket and shoes on before Shinji had a chance to finish a second bite, forcing him to leave his meal cooling on the table.

And it was good, too, he thought sadly.

The drive to the courthouse was utterly silent, unless one counts cracking knuckles, and when they arrived, Asuka deliberately flung her door open and knocked it into the car next to them in the parking lot.

"Oops," she said innocently, "looks like I dinged your paint. "Sorry."

Misato replied by 'accidentally' bumping into Asuka on the stairs and knocking her onto the hard concrete. "Oops," she said flatly, "looks like I dinged your ass. Sorry."

Shinji had to walk between the two the rest of the way to the waiting room to avoid any further bloodshed.

"Katsuragi, family of three."

He flinched as Asuka's jaw clenched hard enough to crack. "Misato," Shinji mumbled, "can you… you know, not?"

Misato stared impassively at him for a moment before rolling her eyes. "Alright," she muttered, turning her attention back to the bailiff. "Mister and Missus Katsuragi, and Miss Souryu to see Judge Totowa."

"He's free right now," the bailiff said politely, "follow me, please."

Together, the NERV members followed the man into the court, where they found their judge waiting behind his desk and surveying a small stack of paperwork.

"Katsuragi annulment case," the bailiff said. "Court is now in session, honorable judge Tate Totowa presiding."

Wow, Shinji thought as they waited, they must have a law about judges needing to be born before first impact.

This one, while not as old as the last, was still older than Shinji, Asuka, and Misato put together, and looked to be about six foot seven… though sitting down, it was hard to tell exactly.

"Mister… Katsuragi," he read, focusing very carefully on the piece of paper in front of him, "Missus Katsuragi and… Missus Katsuragi. Interesting… interesting…"

"Sir?" Asuka said with forced patience, "can I ask why we're here? I was under the impression that common law annulment was supposed to be cut and dried."

The judge kept his eyes on the paper, taking in every detail. "Mm," he hummed, nodding more to himself than Asuka, "you've been misinformed. It can be cut and dried… but there are certain mitigating circumstances that require us to consider each case before us based on its own merits and take action appropriately."

"Mitigating circumstances?" Shinji piped up, hiding behind Misato as Asuka gave him a 'shut up' glance.

"Indeed, Mister Katsuragi," the judge said, finally setting his papers down and gazing at Shinji over the edge of his desk. "What we have to ask ourselves is whether or not you and your wife – both healthy, of-age citizens with steady incomes who have lived together for some time – have given this union a fair chance to flourish and grow. We would much rather that you allow some time to see if things could work between you than see you file for annulment the day after receiving your marriage certificate."

Clenching her hands in to fists, Asuka hissed, "So because we might like each other someday I have to stay married to this loser?"

The judge regarded her for several moments, his eyes giving away no hint of his thoughts, until he finally murmured, "You hate your husband that much?"

Asuka flushed. "He's not my husband," she grumbled, "he's just some dork I live with."

"Lived with long enough to be legally bound to when you had other lodgings readily available and easily accessed," the judge corrected. "You do hate him, then?"

Wetting her lips, Asuka glanced at Shinji from the corner of her eye. "Not… hate," she said, suddenly awkward, "but we're not like, really close or anything…"

The judge smiled.

Shinji realized that Asuka had just said the wrong thing.

"Affection can grow, if the ground is fertile enough," the judge said with some satisfaction, "I'm recommending a three month stay on the execution of this annulment, during which time-"

"Three months?" Asuka exploded. "Why?"

The judge continued as if she had not spoken. "During which time the two of you will be given the opportunity to explore your feeling for one another and, with luck, find that you're compatible enough to remain wed."

"Umm, excuse me," Asuka ground out, jabbing a finger in Misato's direction, "he's already married to her!"

"Oh, we're aware of that."

"Huh?"

Steepling his fingers, the judge stared down at the redhead. "Times have changed since your parents' day, young lady," he said quietly. "The survival of our race demands drastic measures, and outdated ideals of what constitute monogamy and partnership must be shelved until such a time as they can be reinstituted without threatening our continued existence. I understand your hesitance, I really do," he said earnestly, "my generation shudders at the burden yours must bear… but we do not shy from-"

Clenching her hands into fists, Asuka snapped, "Oh shut the hell up – I don't need a goddamn sermon about keeping our species alive, I pilot an EVA for Christ's sake!"

"And we appreciate that," the judge said, all trace of compassion now gone from his voice, "but once the angels are gone, the rest of us lowly citizens will be left to pick up the pieces… and as a citizen yourself, it is your obligation to look towards the future as well, Missus Katsuragi."

Asuka opened her mouth to lodge another protest, but the judge banged his gavel so hard on the desk in front of him that Shinji was sure he must have broken it.

"This court will not grant an annulment to this marriage until five months hence. Good day to you all."

The man was on his feet and out of the room before Asuka's indignant cry of, "FIVE?" had finished echoing through the chambers.

( 0 0 0 )

Asuka, Shinji knew, was not one to suffer in silence, so when she immediately went into her room and shut the door he knew she was planning something big, and probably very loud.

Seeing his concerned face, Misato said, "Don't worry about her, Shinji… nothing you can do can make her happy right now."

"I should still try," Shinji said guiltily. "I mean, I am her husband."

Impulsively, Misato reached out and ruffled his hair. "You're mine too," she said playfully, "and as your wife, I should tell you that Asuka will calm down if you give her enough time, though them sticking her with my last name must really get under her skin. Hey, I wonder how come they changed it so fast for-"

"Did you really forget to file the paperwork?"

Misato froze, unprepared for the bluntness of the question. "Of… of course I did," she said uncomfortably, "you don't think I'm really that heartless, do you?"

Averting his eyes, Shinji mumbled, "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that."

"We'll get the divorce soon, ok?" Misato said, awkwardly putting a hand on Shinji's shoulder. "I shouldn't have let it go on this long."

"We can't," Shinji reminded her, "they'd sue us for fraud." He brought his gaze back up to hers, lowering his voice to a whisper as he added, "And I said I don't mind, Misato… if I'm useful to you, I'm happy."

"Don't say useful," Misato laughed nervously, "you're not just some… hey, Shinji, come back."

Throwing a weak smile over his shoulder, Shinji continued towards his room, saying, "I'm kind of tired, so I'm gonna go to bed. Night."

"No you're not."

"Wha-hey!"

Shinji nearly fell to the ground as Misato took three quick steps and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly to her chest.

"There will be no angst in this house, 'husband,'" she said, smothering him up against her and hustling him into the living room, "there's too much of that shit at work. Sit down, shut up, turn on something funny, and I… will get you dessert."

"D-dessert?" Shinji stammered, trying not to notice that while Misato was arranging him on the couch, he was exactly at eye-level with the open top of her shirt.

"Yes, dessert," Misato said firmly, "now – the TV and the shutting up."

Obediently, Shinji closed his mouth and turned the television set on, finding something light and vapid while Misato went into the kitchen, returning several minutes later with a small container of ice cream and two spoons.

"Haagen-Dazs," she said with some satisfaction, handing him one of the spoons as she curled up next to him on the couch, "dig in, Shinji, because I will not hesitate to eat this whole thing."

Shinji looked uncertainly at the ice cream, tentatively dipping his spoon in and taking a bite.

"It's… good…"

"'Course it is," Misato said happily, "guaranteed to demolish depression within three spoonfuls – provided you don't mind an extra ton of calories and fat. It's from my secret stash, so don't tell anyone. Ritsuko would never let me live it down. The single woman slurping down ice cream to beat the blues is so pre-Impact."

Staring at his loaded spoon, Shinji whispered, "Th-thank you…"

Nudging him in the ribs, Misato gave him a dazzling smile.

"Well, you are my husband," she said matter-of-factly. "I can't have you moping all the time – people would think I'm neglecting my 'wifely' duties, ya know?"

She laughed with delight as Shinji turned bright red.

Moving a little closer to him, she held the ice cream within easy reach of both of their spoons, turning her attention to the sitcom Shinji had turned on and allowing herself to fall into its easy, lighthearted plot.

The next few hours passed by quietly and comfortably, and when the ice cream was gone, and the primetime comedies gave way to news programs, Shinji was sound asleep with his spoon still clutched loosely in one hand, and his head resting lightly on Misato's shoulder.

Continued…

Notes: yeah, yeah, I know – cliché and sappy… shut up. Oh, and on the subject of name changes – marrying allows for a very quick and easy name change in present day, involving a simple notification of the social security administration and DMV (at least for women), but changing one's name back or just changing it because you feel like it, costs money, and involves more paperwork. Trust me on both of these, or, you know, go try and change your name and prove me wrong.

Hawk pre-read again… but he still managed to release like, 32432 chapters of his own work! My plan of keeping him occupied seems to be a failure…