"He's gorgeous," Boone said, looking down at Noah in his arms.
"Well, y'know, look at his dad," Shannon mused. Boone smiled. "I wasn't talking about you, loser."
"That's okay, I wasn't thinking about me," Boone replied. "You wanna hold him?"
"You know I don't like kids," Shannon stated. Boone looked over to where Sayid was playing with Zara on the floor. "So I like mine, doesn't mean I like yours."
Boone rolled his eyes. Shannon still knew how to be difficult as hell when she wanted, but Boone wasn't quite sure why she wanted to be. Sure, he gave up on trying to work out the enigma that was Shannon quite a while ago now, but that didn't mean she couldn't still bug the hell out of him.
"They're not a whole lot of fun at that age," Shannon commented, looking down at Noah. "They don't do a whole lot."
"What do you expect him to do?" Boone asked.
"I just mean that it gets way better than this. In a couple of months he'll have his own personality and you can play off each other. He'll have a sense of humour and he'll have a favourite toy," Shannon explained. "Then you feel like you're really interacting with a person and not just tending to someone's needs."
"I don't feel like that," Boone pouted. But then he realised he was doing a total Shannon so he tried to stop.
Shannon sighed a little. "It feels pretty great now, right?"
"Yeah, I'd say that's an understatement," Boone replied.
"So when you start getting stuff back imagine how that's gonna feel," she said, raising her eyebrows.
Boone never really thought about having a child that way. Surely the point of having a child was to give them something, not to be given something in return. So did he give something to his parents? He was fairly sure he never gave his father anything, not that his father particularly deserved anything from him. What about Sabrina? Did he her give her anything? Well, besides three years as loyal employee and general office godsend. But did she get anything out of his childhood? Boone doubted it, she missed practically as much as his dad did. Well, no, that was unfair, she sometimes made time for him on evenings and weekends. Let's face it though, she never made a huge effort to gain anything from his childhood so he wasn't going to feel too bad about not giving her anything.
Jack came back into the room and handed Shannon her drink, taking a seat next to Boone. He leaned down to Noah. "Hey, little guy," he cooed.
Boone looked at Jack. "If you check his heartbeat then I swear to God..." he threatened good-naturedly.
Jack looked up at him. "I'm not going to check his heartbeat, I was just saying hello." He sounded a little annoyed.
Shannon looked at the pair of them. "How old is he? Five days?" Boone nodded. "Already you're arguing about what you're doing with him."
"You guys never had a difference of opinions?" Boone asked.
"No, my job was made much easier by Shannon failing to have an opinion," Sayid stated, which Boone thought was very brave of him. "About how to best raise a child that is," he added. "You ask her about Italian designers you find she has quite a lot of opinions."
"I agreed with you cos what the hell do I know?" Shannon replied. "Whatever you were doing seemed to be working so why would I butt in? You let me have all the fun bits."
"Yes, I think we make a good team," Sayid agreed, helping Zara out in her attempt to stand up. Well, dismal attempt if Boone was honest but he guessed he wasn't so perfect at everything first time around either. Or second. Or often third. Screw it, everyone had weak spots, right?
But then Boone got to wondering if he and Jack made a good team. He really wouldn't have thought Shannon and Sayid would complement each other so well when they first crashed on the island and started to get to know the other survivors. In fact Boone was sure that Shannon was just going to use him for as long as he could be useful like she did with him or when she wanted to prove her worth by getting Charlie to catch her a fish and then dropped him like a stone the second he did. And, actually, Boone still didn't really get how Shannon conning some eager to please rock reject proved she was a use to anyone but her own wants. So when she started being friendly with Sayid he thought she was out for herself again. And he still cringed when he thought of those warnings he gave Sayid, though he knew they were more for his own benefit to keep Shannon on the market than to save Sayid any heartbreak or inconvenience. But Shannon proved that Sayid was more to her than her latest flunky and Boone wound up being happy for them, which was perhaps the most shocking thing about the whole situation.
Boone never thought he stood a chance with Jack but that didn't stop him daydreaming about what might happen should Jack suddenly decide to hell with sexual preferences, Boone was worth the switch. But he had to admit that he never saw the pair of them as much of a team. He thought that Jack was someone who could look after him and take care of him. Boone spent all his time worrying about other people and clearing up everyone else's messes and trying to take care of Shannon and Sabrina and whoever else decided he was a good shoulder to cry on that week but all he really wanted was to have someone who would wrap him up in their arms and tell him that it was okay to relax and let someone else take care of things for a little while. And every time he looked at Jack's arms with those cut off T-shirts he thought they looked pretty damn perfect for his daydream to come real in.
But things were different now. Things had to change. Adjustments had to be made. Jack's arms were for looking after Noah and Boone's arms were to share the workload. And Boone didn't want to sound jealous or bitter because he really, really wasn't. He loved Noah and he wouldn't change a thing about him for the world. But the fact that Jack and him made a good couple didn't necessarily mean they made a good team. Team suggests equals but Boone wasn't entirely convinced that was how their relationship worked. Jack had always been more dominant in the relationship and Boone had always been more than happy to let him be. In fact, Boone wanted him to.
So, because of the last what was nearly four years now, Boone was a little out of practice being the one in charge. Well, if he ever really was. Shannon let him believe he was in charge when it suited her but ultimately he knew how helpless he was. And Sabrina gave him the CEO position but proved on more than one occasion that she could go right over his head if she so wished. Regardless of those facts, now he and Jack had to work out a way to make this whole parenthood thing work.
"Give him here a sec," Jack requested, putting his arms out.
Boone looked at him. "Why?"
Jack looked a little confused. "What do you mean 'why?' He's my son, I want to hold him a minute."
"He's my son too," Boone stated and he swore he saw something flicker across Jack's face which sent him into an internal panic of just what the whole biological thing meant to Jack.
"I'd like to hold him if you don't mind," Sayid cut in, clearly sensing that something was going on. Boone wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
He gave Sayid a little smile. "Sure."
Sayid stood up and picked up Zara, handing her over to Shannon who put her straight back on the floor between her legs, leaning down to beep her on the nose. Boone carefully handed Noah over to Sayid who started rocking him. "Hello there," he said. "I'm your uncle Sayid."
Boone sneaked a look at Jack to see if he was mad but found him looking at Zara. "She started to communicate with you guys yet?" he asked.
"Sayid claims so," Shannon replied, playing some kind of game with Zara's hands.
"She asks for her bottle," Sayid explained. "And she asks for me."
"Yeah, she asks for you but not for me," Shannon stated. "Kid's got brains at least," she smiled, ruffling Zara's hair.
How could Shannon be so okay with that? Boone didn't think he'd be okay with Noah wanting Jack instead of him. He kind of expected it but he wouldn't really be okay with it. There was a line between resignation and acceptance and Boone knew which side he'd firmly stood on his whole life. But he didn't want to make do when it came to his son or his relationship.
Boone wanted everything, and he kind of thought that he maybe deserved it this time too, so he was just going to have to hope Jack wanted everything too because surely a baby should only be as important as the person you have it with, no more, no less. Boone watched Jack out of the corner of his eye and hoped his values weren't skewed.