Disclaimer: I don't own starocean
Karin: Shoyu Ramen.
Good enough.
Fayt awoke with a start. Cold sweat dripping down his forehead. His head hurt, his arms were sore, his legs were in pain and all in all, his entire body was in a wreck. Getting up, Fayt noticed that he was back in his room in the 'Eternal'. He tried to remember what happened, but it only contributed to the pain in his head. The door slid open and Kanai walked in.
"Are you alright, Admiral?"
She asked, placing a tray she brought in on the table. It contained some food and drinks that mostly likely were from the kitchen.
"How long have i been out?"
"About twenty minutes."
"And the excutioners?"
"All exterminated. Thanks to you. We're right now in bound for the rip gate to moonbase."
"How long till we reach?"
"Another five minutes."
"Right, i'll be at the bridge soon."
"Understood."
Kanai saluted and left the room. Fayt rubbed his forehead. So they defeated the excutioners and freed Vanguard III. But was all of this worth it? Fayt took the tray of the food and looked at the food. It looked simple enough. Nothing special about it. Mash potatoes, sausages, eggs and a steak managed to find its way onto the plate as well.
Fayt poked at his food, his mind completely occupied by her. He wanted to be by her side, he wanted to hear her voice, wanted to feel her warmth, the soft smooth texture of her skin, the soft yet firm touch of hers.
"Maria..."
Fayt murmered. He took a spoon full of mashpotatoes and slowly ate. At the very least, he hoped for her safety. Fayt managed to finish the plate quickly and he got up, put on his coat and left the room. Making his way to the bridge, he stopped by the kitchen to thank the cook. He bumped into Karin just before reaching the bridge. The girl had a bandage around her head and Fayt wondered just how many more of his friends did he have to place in danger before it was all over?
"Fayt?"
Karin looked at him with an odd look.
"Huh? What is it?"
"Nothing. I was just wondering why were you spacing out?"
"Oh, it's nothing."
"It's hardly nothing. Come on, let's go some place we can talk."
Karin smiled, pulling Fayt away from the bridge area. Karin dragged Fayt all the way to viewing lounge. The viewing lounge was at the far end of the ship, having a view of the entire space surrounding the ship and currently, no one present besides them. Karin sat herself on a sofa, gesturing for Fayt to sit as well. Fayt sat himself on another sofa, wondering how the conversation was going to go.
"So, Fayt, tell me what's on your mind. Sometimes it's good to talk to other people about your problems."
"Well, it's about this whole war thing."
"Ah, i see. You're worried about those under your command, right?"
"Yeah."
Fayt guessed it was obvious. Karin giggled slightly.
"Well, i understand what you're thinking. Being a squad leader, i only share about a tenth of the command you're having. But there isn't a difference when it comes on
the battlefield."
"How can there be no difference? I have more responsibilities as the leader of this fleet, than a squad leader!"
Fayt lost his nerve.
"There is a difference in the number of people you're responsibile for, that's obvious, but when it comes to the battlefield, the number of men do not count. The main point is that you are in charge of other people's lives. What every commander, whether squad leader or not, all have this fear and duty."
"Fear? Duty?"
"Yes, fear of the deaths of their subordinates, and the duty to ensure the safety of their men."
"That's easier for you than it is for me."
"But it is all the same. Let me ask you this, why do people join the armed forces?"
Karin asked. Fayt thought about this for awhile. There certainly were many answers to this questions.
"I guess different people have their reasons."
"Correct. Most join to protect what is dear to them. Why do we protect what is dear to us?"
"Why?"
"Yes, why? You, Fayt, of all the people i know, should know this best."
"But-"
"Is your family dear to you?"
"Of course!"
"Is Sophia dear to you?"
"Sure, but what-"
"Is Maria dear to you.?"
Fayt stopped. It was true. He knew where she was getting at.
"Is she dear to you?"
Karin asked once more.
"Yes."
"Then what would you do to ensure their safety?"
"I would... what would i do..."
Fayt never knew what he would do to protect his loved ones. Fighting? Was that the only way? As if reading his mind, Karin spoke once more.
"Fighting is not the only way to do it. There are many ways to express your love, your urge to protect. But in times of war, the only way to truely show your love, is to do what is right in your own terms."
"My.. own terms..."
"Yes, your own terms. I'm guessing that your dad gave you that symbol to do just that. In your own way, you want to protect those you love, same goes to all of your men. They all want to protect something, or someone. As a leader of these men, you must understand this. No one wants to die, but no one is just going to do nothing to protect their loved ones."
Karin paused for awhile, making sure that Fayt was following. Fayt just simply stared at the ground.
"I guess... that is true, but-"
"The guilt? Sure, everyone has it. Even your men have their own guilt. Guilt of not being able to save their comrades, guilt of not being able to fulfill their obligations, guilt of not doing enough. Everyone has it. Just don't let it get to you. You may build it up high, but sooner or later, you'll just have to let it all go."
"But what if i can't? There isn't a way for me to just forget all of this!"
Fayt found himself standing up and shouting at Karin before he could stop himself. But Karin did not seem surprised in anyway.
"There is, you just have to find it."
"Find what?"
"Ask Maria when you see her. Now, i believe the bridge called for you."
Karin smiled, getting up.
"Wait!"
"What you need to remember is that you are never alone in this world. There would always be someone who is suffering the same pain, the same fate as you. Just remember it."
Karin waved as she left the room. Fayt stood there, unable to understand what the whole conversation was for. But Karin reminded him of something that he must do.
"Hang on, Maria, i'll coming."
AN: I decided to make Karin a more important character. She acts as Fayt's confidant, advisor and basically, good friend. This chapter is in honour and respect to all great leaders out there. To be a leader, you must know the risks and pain of having the responsibility of the lives of men in your hands. To George Bush, get your troops out of the middle east, face it, you may have won against Sadam, you're losing in the long run. Why not you go down there yourself and face a bullet rushing past your face? That way, that way you would know how it feels like.