A Harry Potter Fanfiction

Knowing

By: Aria DC al Fine

Genre: General/Romance

Rating: T

Disclaimer: not mine.

Synopsis: To know is to suffer. SLASH HPDM

Warning: SLASH and Language Errors.

Everyone always wants to know about everything and anything, from redundant fickle gossips to life decisions made secretly for them. They think that knowing will bring them anywhere, that knowledge is power. That it will make them happy.

They never realise how wrong they could be.

People who know things are the people who suffer the most.

After all, curiosity kills the cat, and ignorance is bliss.

I never once stop cursing the day I acquired this ability. My family seems so proud that I get to be the one whose Legilimency skill is higher than the whole family's combined. The thing is: being able to read people's mind is no joke. I try not to use it at all at any times. Yeah, I know you're laughing at me, telling me that I should extract everyone's deepest, darkest secrets so that I can use those to blackmail them in the future instead of behaving like a Hufflepuff in Slytherin's clothing. But you never know how much I suffer, do you? Knowing all those hatred and anger and repressed one-sided love and jealousy and bitterness directed to one another lurking beneath those masks when I see all those faces in the Great Hall? You have no bloody clue, don't you?

And they're not helping me either. I mean, they're obviously strong wizards, why don't they cover their minds with Occlumency, at the very least? Some days, Malfoy is better – he puts on a wall so strong that I may not be able to see through it even if I want to, but the bloody Boy-Who-Lived who had killed the Dark Lord when he was still in his nappies has the lowest guard around his mind among the whole school, first-years included. Don't be surprised at all, give those first-year Slytherins more credit, won't you? But sometimes, even the Ice Prince…or, should I call him, Draco Darling, since we had been friends even before he met his current girlfriend, the dunderhead Pansy Parkinson – hey, I hate her for a reason, okay, and despite what you think, it's not jealousy, thank you very much! I don't love Draco. Not that way. Oh, shut up, would you?

Whatever, the point is, sometimes, even Draco lowers his guard too. Not a wise move, I know, but that is how I truly know.

Truly know what, you ask?

Are you sure you want to know?

I warn you once again, that some things are left a secret for a reason. And in this case, it's a very good reason.

All right, since you insist…

Potter is fucking Draco.

Uh-oh, that came out all wrong…scratch that! Let me rephrase…Potter is not only fucking Draco…they're in love with each other.

B-but, you say. Remember, I've warned you. You're the one who want to know this desperately.

Like most relationships made our age, it started with lust. After all, Rita Skeeter said it once herself, didn't she? That everyone loves to rebel?

Both of them know that they are each other's Eden Apple – sweet, enticing, and sinful (which only make it more alluring, mind you). They are intoxicated by one another; it becomes an addiction for them. A strong one. I didn't even need to see the inside of Potter's mind that day; the lusty looks he was sending Draco's way were so apparent I was surprised that almost nobody noticed them. Is there anyone else, who knows this, you ask? Are you kidding? Yes, of course! Pansy Parkinson and Ginny Weasley know.

Sigh stop with the goldfish look, won't you? It doesn't look attractive on your face. Yes, their own respective girlfriends know. And why don't they say anything, you ask? God, are you the Hufflepuff in Slytherin's clothing one now? Don't be ridiculous! Everyone knows that Weaslette is smitten by Potter! Was, actually, but you know that they are so poor they need Potter's money, don't you? How do you think she got a brand new set of textbooks and robes and such? Like the expensive-looking maroon sweater she was wearing the other day? No, no, she's not entirely materialistic either – she is just tired. If Potter still wants to hide it from her, then she'll play along with him and pretend that she doesn't know. The same goes with the Parkinson bimbo. Fame, money, life of pleasure, these things are what matter in this materialistic world now; you and I should know that, and doesn't the name 'Malfoy' promise all those?

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I remember. It started with a lust and a game of power. But you know, one cannot fuck each other so passionately in bed and keep hating each other – it's not healthy. Besides, they both are not as strong as everyone thinks they are. Their hearts are not made completely of ice and bitterness.

A breath of this to the public and I may be blurting out all your darkest, shameful secrets.

So they began to trust each other, since Draco confessed to Potter that he did not want to be a Death Eater. As time passed they tell each other their innermost secrets, ones that I cannot even find out even if I try, and seek each other for comfort; it is mostly Potter who cries to Draco though, but Draco also cried to Potter once when his father died and he asked for help from Dumbledore.

And it is love in its purest state. It is merciless, they do not expect anything from one another, but I know that they will die for one another. They keep each other on their toes, with their insults and their competition in Quidditch; they balance each other like nothing else can. They kiss each other like there is no tomorrow. Fuck each other like that too. And perhaps, for them, there really isn't tomorrow.

It's fucked up, I know. Believe me, I know. There isn't anything I don't know about, if I bloody want to. One look into the Dark Lord's red eyes and I'll know his deepest weakness. That's why I am quite high in his list. Don't you know that I am a Death Eater? A spy, for Dumbledore, of course. I can't be on Draco's opposite side of the war. I love him; he's like a brother for me.

That's why I'm very sad now. Sad enough to break and spill these things to you. But watch out, won't you, we're still Slytherins, and my threat still stands, so keep your bloody mouth close or else…well, let's just say that your mudblood lover will not be able to give you a blow job anymore, shall I?

Back to my melancholy. Draco and Potter are very much in love with each other, but those two stubborn boys won't declare it. They'd rather have these stupid hide-and-seek games, trying to lie to people who have already known, trying to lie to themselves that they need to hide and have a wife and – not to mention how much I want to punch Pansy and Weaslette and scream to their ears until their pretty but useless heads burst off to let the two boys go. It's stupid, it's really stupid, and it's killing them both…

Now is the time you pay me for this secret. What do you think I should do to stop this? To stop them wasting the love they share and themselves?