Shout outs!

steffy potter- Thanks! I Will!

livingdead2010- Thank you bunches! I am!

bananaslugg- Thanks. I think so too . Sorry It took abit

Cooroo- Oo okay! I think I'll check it out when I get a chance . Sorry I've been odly busy (haha yeah, me, busy… haha) Thanks!

luvin'it- Thank you!

blonk- Thanks a lot! Im glad you like it!

Oxlac- Woahhh really? I rock? That's so cool . haha thanks

The Magic Bringer- Um… sometime? Lol I can't Tell you!

heartbreakerginny- Thanks!

Ihateharryandhermioneshippers- haha thanks a good suggestion .

FizzingWhizbeez- Thanks! I have completley NO idea how this idea poped into my head.. I have no idea how my brain works .

always-blond- hehe I thot that was clever of me . Mary is Romas sister (as stated in the chapter lol) What did the rug say to the floor? Er… I honestly have no Idea! Lol –places scratch and sniff sticker at bottom of pool- GO SMELL!

Tsar Kelsey- Hah no I'm not frozen –whips sweat off forehead- glad you liked it!

Thanks reviewers! You guys rock my striped emo sox! (haha ok, my friend Tait said that to me today and It made me laugh… Its cuz Emo Kids, like yours truly, are so awsomely Rad . And if your like most other people on this planet, and don't know what Emo is. I might have to Shoot you with my patato launcher (er… not that I have one or anything…) Or hit you in the head with a blunt object!

If any of you have any ideas for chapter names, I'll try to work them in! Thanks to the people that have already given suggestions, I love them .

W0000 now unto the story!

When I was 16 I officialy had a stalker. And, this wasn't just any stalker. It was an annoying 1st year who seemed to think I was god. She followed me around constantly and laughed at nearly everything I said.

She told me she was an aspiring Head Girl, and wanted me to teach her the ropes. Other stories I'd heard around is that She, Jenny, wanted in with my… er…brother.

"So Lily." She asked as I made my way to dinner.

"What, Jenny." I asked irritated. I'd had about enough of everyone today. James had asked me about a total of 11 times in one day, a new record. Opal and Roma had gotten into another feud ending with Roma having green hair and Opals eyebrows being the size of James' ego (I.E. Very big), and some random 2nd year who happened to be walking by at exactly the wrong moment getting his fingernails painted a gaudy shade of brown and green. (That was coming from Opal. The whole world knows Roma cares more about her looks then well… anything. She'd rather die beutifull then have to walk around with her nails painted that horrid shade for a day)

"Why don't you date James?" She asked. "He's so marvy. You could have him too. Everyone knows that." She raised an eyebrow at me.

"You'll understand when your older. Jenny. Say, why don't you hang out with you little 1st year mates?" I asked. Jenny erupted into a fit of giggles.

"Oh Lily. They're much too young for me. I perfer the older people." She said. "And besides, if I'm going to be head girl when I'm older, I need to learn. Your going to be head girl, aren't you Lily?" She asked.

"Doubt it, Jenny. That roles already taken by Erica." I said.

"Oh Ericas brilliant. But your smarter. Wasn't it you and Remus fighting for number one?" She said.

"Jenny just shut up! Somethings are more important than grades!" I snapped on her then entered the great hall, taking a seat across from Cyrena.

"Something wrong, Lils?" She asked.

"Yeah. Fucking first years." I swore.

"Gee, Lily. You don't use that language often." Sirius snickered at me. I threw a roll at him. He caught it in his mouth. I'd swear he was part dog. If Sirius wasn't my brother, and I didn't already have a pet 1st year, I'd adopt him as my pet. It was speak of the devil as Jenny sat down next to me.

"Hi Cyrena. James, Remus. Erica…" She blushed a little then whispered "Sirius…"

The group parted in laughing murmers of "Hello, hi, 'lo, sup," and just plain laughter.

"So wheres Roma?" She asked. I looked at the others and none of us said anything. How could she not know? Nearly the whole school had witnessed it, how did she not see?

I swear Roma attracted fights. This time it was 10 o'clock at night, in the gryffindor common room, with Sirius. This time Sirius had told her off for snogging Hector Futer.

"Its my choice, Black, why do you fucking care so much?" Roma screamed.

"Because your being a slut!" Sirius yelled.

"Yeah? And like your not a man whore yourself!" Roma threw a pillow at him.

"You don't get it Roma do you?" Sirius asked.

"Get what? That you hate me? If you hate me so much why do you care!"

"I Don't fucking hate you Roma! I don't want you being a slut because … I … I … I love you!" Sirius screamed.

"Well I don't want you being a Man Whore because I love you too!" Roma screamed back. The rest of us were staring in amazment. Did they realize what they'd just said? It took them both a moment… and then they just stared.

"I…." Roma mumbled. I saw Sirius blush. That was the first time I'd ever seen that. It was almost cute.

"Er…" Sirius bit his lip. Giggles erupted from many of the second and first years around the room.

"I love him more." I heard Jenny whisper from my side, and then stomp off.

"I told you." James whispered in my ear. I turned around.

"Told me what?" I asked.

"That Sirius loves Roma. I told you." He shrugged and began to walk off.

"He's going to hurt her." I dashed off after him, and out of the common room into the hall outside of the tower.

"What?" He asked.

"Sirius. He's going to hurt her. I can tell." I said.

"What are you talking about Black? Sirius is your brother… you know him as well, if not better, than I do. He would never hurt Roma." James sighed.

"Haven't you seen what he's done to the other girls he's dated?" I nearly screamed at him.

"What? Gave them a nice snog, let them become popular for a day, then send them off to date higher people then they ever would have before?" He asked. "Go and ask any of those girls if they regrette it, Black. Go ahead." James roared.

"POTTER! That's not what I'm bloody talking about! She really loves him! The rest of them just thought he was gorgey! James I'm scared… I'm just scared for Roma. She's never loved someone like this."

"Black… I've never loved anyone like you. But you couldn't give a fuck. You wont even give me a chance." Potter stared at me, I was speachless, then he stormed off.

I walked silently, and slowly back to the tower, then up the stairs, and into my bed.

"Lily?" Cyrena called. I didn't make a sound. I heard the door close, she must have assumed I was asleep.

I sighed into my pillow and let a tear drop out. I really wanted to give him a chance… I just couldn't.

I think I'm going to live my life in mourning over what I'd done to myself.

My life as a Self Hater.

Im sorry this chapters short, but I havent posted in a month, and I want to get it our before I forget. Hope you enjoyed though!

Jen Riddle

now click the review button and type in some blabbering nonsense.. or a nice note .