I'm so sorry, everyone. Life has just caught up with me and smacked me in the face and then chained me down into its filthy pits of busyness.

I'm not going to say much more, so we can get as quickly as possible to the story, but I have posted many new poems on my fiction press account.

I have also been working on improving my writing ability, and I have been writing my own stories, no fan fictions.

Now for the wonderful reviewers who mean the world to me:

Hazel Maraa- I know! I'm sorry, this one will be long!

drumer girl- All I have to say is I'm sorry!

FizzingWhizbeez – Hah, well she'll tell… sometime. XD

Kayane Joel- Thank you

always-blond- You blonde people make me giggle

steffypotter- Well, this chapter is very much-so longer x.X

fab- Hah, no, its just me and my stupidity showing.

Teehee- yay :)

cooroo- Its okay! Sorry it took me so long to update!

oxymoronique- hah, okay! Thanks :) And really, I can't be THAT good… or can I?

cec123- Hm… A very big mistake. If I was her I'd probably have killed myself by now…

LaughingManiac- I think you're the reason I just updated, because of that review. Everyone else owes you a big thank you.

THANKS REVIEWEE'S!

Now, I'll try to stay on top of things, but no promisies. This chapter is long and I hope you enjoy it. I hope the chapter title gives you some nice clues… Annnd maybe It will help you go insane wanting to read it. Sorry if you have to go back and read the rest of the story before you read this chapter. I know, I'm mean. I still love you guys though.

Also, this chapter might seem like it has a different writing style. I think this is purely because… I'm… BETTER! W0000. ENJOY!

Chapter 7

My Life, A confessional

One of my favorite things to do is take walks late at night when it's quiet and dark. It's insanely peaceful. A problem with this is curfew. I'd always been too scared to go out late at night, my fear of being caught would always succeed over my need to clear my mind.

Another thing is that I always needed someone to go with and talk to. Before I came to hogwarts I had a neighbor who would join me. He was my age, and we would walk together. We were young, and care free, but somehow we still seemed to collect worries.

I knew well that none of the other girls in my house would join me in my late night adventure, though. Most of them would be too scared of perhaps breaking a nail or being eaten by one of the monsters rumored to be living in the forbidden forest. And that was one of the parts of my walks, to not be scared. If I was with someone that was in constant fear, it would ruin it.

Again, I needed someone to walk with, and not just a regular someone, someone I could confide it. The only other people I could consider friends, not just aquantinces, friends, in the school were the Marauders.

My first thought was Sirius. He was my brother after all, but what would happen if I slipped out the fact that James kissed me? Would he tell everyone the secret? I couldn't risk it.

Second was James, but this thought was only a split second. Why would I want to go with James again? It would probably make things more uncomfortable.

Third, was Peter Pettigrew. I knew he could keep a secret, he was always the quiet kid, but, then again, why would I want to go anywhere with him? He downright annoyed me.

Last, was Remus Lupin, and I couldn't believe I left him to last. He was perfect for the task. I knew I could confide any thing in him, almost everyone knew to go to him for advice. He was sweet and welcoming too. I also thought back to the first night I'd met him, how I knew he was hiding something. Maybe I could get that out of him.

It was already past cerfew when I set off to find him. I first checked the Common room, thinking he'd be working on late night homework like most students do at this hour, but he wasn't to be seen, I continued to the other end of the common room and set off up the staircase to the Gryfindor 6th years boys dormitory.

He was laying on his bed, staring at the top, and he was the only one in there. He sat up when I entered.

"Lily?" He questioned, puzzled as to why I had come in. "If your looking for Sirius he's gone to the Kitchens with James…"

"No, actually." I shook my head.

"Well, I'm the only one in here." He smiled politely. I nodded, and feeling as if I was stupid for even thinking to bring a Marauder on a walk with me, I turned to the door. As I grabbed the handle I mentally slapped myself. I needed this.

"Remus?" I asked. He was still watching me leave. He nodded. "I'm… going for a walk. Would you join me?"

"Erm…" He stood up and looked out the window. I assumed he was debating the weather. It was late September, it shouldn't be that cold. "Sure." He answered as he turned away.

5 minutes later we had carefully crept out of the castle and out onto the grounds of the school.

"I never imagined you as one to go out after hours, but I guess that's another reason why James loves you. Your full of mystery." He joked. I groaned, I didn't want to hear about James.

"Yeah." I rolled my eyes. "I needed to clear my mind."

"So really, what's it like living with Sirius? A hassle? Annoying? Fun?" He questioned me.

"Its…" I debated how I should answer. "complicated."

"How so?"

"Well… never mind." My steps got gradually heavier, as if the weight of my secret was pounding me into the ground. I knew I had to tell him.

"Remus can you keep a secret?" I said quickly, and I was surprised when he understood what had slipped out of my mouth.

"Of coarse."

"I… I'm not Sirius' sister. I'm not even related to him at all." I confessed, stopping my walking.

"But…" He took a step back from me. I felt tears in my eyes; I didn't want something so stupid to ruin a friendship, that's never what I wanted. "Then who are you?"

"I'm Lily Evans. I'm a muggle born, I'm stupid." I admitted.

"Why did you lie to everyone?" He asked next, I could tell that questions were swarming his brain.

"I don't know! I met James and Sirius at the platform on the first day of the first year and… I told them I was pureblood… things just went on from there. But that's not even the worst part."

"Then what is? What could be worse than you lying to the entire school?" His voice was disbelieving.

"I'm in love with James." I said, a tear finally pouring over the edge of my eye and down my cheek?

"Then go out with him! Its not like he hasn't given you plenty of opportunities!"

"I CAN'T! If I do… and Sirius finds out… He'll tell the whole school my secret. He'll tell everyone, Remus!"

Remus scratched his head, and then he did the last thing I ever expected him to do at that moment, he hugged me.

"Now can you keep a secret?" Remus asked after the hug. I nodded. "Only Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail know this."

I'd heard them use the codenames before, but I never knew what they meant.

"Lily…" He looked up at the moon, and then back down. "I'm a werewolf."

My breathing and my heart both stopped for a moment. Compared to this, my secret seemed immaculate.

"Your… a…." I took a deep breath and then released it. "Wow."

"Yeah." He sort of laughed, and nodded at the same time.

"I get it… that's why they call you moony!" I thought aloud. Remus just stared at me, as if finding it unbelievable that that was all I was thinking of at the moment.

I looked up at the moon also, just to make sure it wasn't full. Feeling relieved that it was only half, I looked back at Remus.

"I guess were both just hidden behind our own masks." I said. He agreed silently.

"Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are all animugi." He added after a few moments silence.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack!" I joked.

"No. Its true, unregistered of coarse." Remus nodded. "When they found out about my… well, Sirius calls it my little problem, they became Animugi. It was very dangerous of coarse, but that's what friends are for. So that whenever I'm going to transform, they can bare the pain with me. Sirius is a dog, a huge black one at that, James is a stag and well… Peter… he's a… rat."

I laughed at the last comment.

"So, they're all hidden too."

"Yep. Birds of a feather."

"Uh-huh."

At this moment the world just seemed so surreal, and somehow the weight of everything was gone. It wasn't just me hiding a secret anymore, and perhaps everyone was.

We returned inside after a few moments, and when we entered the common room the only people still awake was the remainder of the Marauders, Romana, and Cyrena.

Romana was laying on Sirius chest, and her head perked up when we walked in. Peter was joyfully throwing things in the fireplace and watching them burn, Cyrena was bent over her homework, and James seemed to be staring off into space.

"Where've you too been?" Sirius question. Everyone turned to us.

"Walking." Remus answered, I nodded. We sat down by them, and I noticed James giving a hateful glare towards Remus.

Remus, on the other hand, seemed to be entranced by Cyrena, his eyes didn't leave her. I wondered if he hadn't confessed all he had.

I carefully kept my eyes on James, just to be sure he wouldn't kill Remus, but my thoughts were interrupted by Roma.

"Why don't you just go out with him, Lily? Or at least stop staring." I glanced up at her, and now everyone was staring at me.

"What?" I tried to play it off.

"You're staring at James." She said. "So stop toying with him and go out with him already."

I was stunned that she was saying this in front of everyone. I felt nearly betrayed, I then looked at Sirius, he had the same strict look on his face that he did the day we made the deal.

"I wasn't staring at him, Roma." I said. Through the whole conversation I kept my eyes away from James, but I could tell he was watching me.

"Oh whatever."

"I'm… going… to the library." I lied, stood up, and left the common room.

When I was halfway down the first staircase I heard the portrait hole open and close again behind me, and then someone rush to catch up to me.

I turned around to see Sirius.

"You know that rule, Lily." He said.

"Yea. I do."

"Don't even lead him on, it's pulling him down, he just needs to get over you. I've been telling him this for 5 years now."

"I think its hurting him as much as its hurting me."

"Its hurting you? Lily you could care less about James. If you cared about him, you wouldn't be doing this to him! You would have given up long ago!"

"I can't…"

"Your just… selfish, Lily Evans, and I'm so fucking glad you're not really my sister."

"Sirius…" I paused staring at him. I couldn't believe he was so mad, he'd always been like a best friend to me.

"What did you say?" Another voice came from the top of the stairs. It was James. I stood, horror struck, staring at him.

"Have her tell you." Sirius said angrily and then stormed up the stairs.

"Lily? What did he say?" James walked closer down the stairs towards me.

"Nothing, James." I began walking away.

"The library's closed Lily." He called after me, and I stopped. He had a point. I squeezed my eyes shut and wished this night just wouldn't have happened. But when I re-opened my eyes, the only thing different was that now James was in front of me. I decided to do the only thing I could think of at the moment.

"James… I can't tell you right now. But when the time comes, I promise I will. I… I just want you to know… I love you."

He seemed almost as surprised as I was when I saw him on the stairs.

"Then why wont you have me?"

"I can't." I said, again, tears were falling from my face. "It's really complicated. But if you knew what was right for you, you'd move on. There are plenty of other girls that would die for just one date with you. They're all great, have one of them."

"I can't Lily. Sure they're great. But they're not perfect, not like you."

"Well James, I have a confession. I'm not perfect either, and like everyone else in this school, I too have secrets."

My Life, a confessional.