Lucas opened his eyes to the bright, warm sun. For a moment he forgot where he was, until he looked at the shifting figure in his lap. He smiled at how calm she looked, but his smile quickly faded as he remembered why he was in her house, why he was holding her. He subconsciously tightened his grip around her waist as the events of the morning replayed in his head. Lucas gently kissed the top of Peyton's head.
"How cute" Lucas turned his head around to look at the figure leaning in the doorway. He couldn't make anything out with the sun glaring in his eyes. He didn't need to look though, he knew the owner of the edgy voice. His thoughts were confirmed as the figure stepped into the room and out of the blinding light.
"Look Brooke, now is not the time for this."
"Believe me I know. I didn't come her to bitch. Alright" She raised her eyebrow as she looked at him. The look of disgust slowly faded from her face as eyes drifted from Lucas face. She took note of the tearstained shirt and she looked at her former best friend. Brooke walked over to the edge of the bed and sat, not tearing her gaze from Peyton. Lucas watched as her eyes glazed over with tears. "How is she?" Lucas's own gaze softened as her quivering voice.
"I don't know" he blinked away his own forming tears as Brooke's silently escaped her eyes.
"You know, whoever said it gets easier doesn't know what the hell their talking about." Lucas looked at her uncertainly.
"What do you mean?"
"It's been 7 years," her gaze wondered up to meet Lucas's. "and I can still remember everything. It was like 12 o'clock at night and I woke up thirsty. So, I threw my comforter off and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, or at least I got ready to. I stopped and curled back into bed, scooting up as close to my head board as I could get." A smile tugged at the edge of her lips as she remembered how scared she was. "I was so petrified cause there was this curled up thing sitting by my bed in my almost pitch black room. But then the thing lifted its head and I saw those glowing hazel eyes and knew it was Peyton. I crawled down to the edge of the bed and craned my neck so I was staring directly into her eyes. The smile I had disappeared when I felt the moisture on my comforter, and I saw the tears streaming from her eyes." Lucas watched as Brooke reached out and griped Peyton's hand. "God, I remember pulling her up on my bed and lying down with my arm around her. When I asked what was wrong all she would say was that 'she's gone and she's never coming back'. I don't know how but I just knew she was talking about her mom." Brooke let out a deep breath and looked up towards the ceiling. "She cried all night. She cried till the tears wouldn't come anymore, and then she just whimpered. And the next day she was fine. It was like nothing had happened."
"That was when she first put up her walls, wasn't it" Lucas questioned, finally understanding.
"Yep. The only time I've seen her cry is on the anniversary of her mom's death. So I've always just been there for her, and by tomorrow it will be like nothing ever happened."
"How can you just forget something like this?"
"After 7 years you get used to it Lucas, you learn that you really can't do anything. She just won't let you. The more you try to help…"
"The more she shuts you out" he finished. His eyes traveled down to Peyton. He couldn't understand why she wouldn't let anyone help her. She was so determined to be independent. He looked back towards Brooke and suddenly felt bad for the things he had said about her. "You're the last person I expected to see here today."
"Yeah I know. It's just…as much as I don't want to, I care about her, she's still my best friends. I mean, I love her and I always will. I've always been there for her on this wonderful little day in her life, and I'm not about to abandon her now."
"Well, she'd appreciate it." Lucas watched as a fresh set of tears flowed fiercely from Brooke's eyes. "Brooke, she's gunna be okay. Peyton's a strong girl, she'll fight through this, and she has us." He wasn't sure whether he was trying to convince himself or Brooke. He hoped it was at least convincing Brooke, because it wasn't doing anything for him.
"Lucas I so scared. She gets worse every year. I mean the first time she just cried like she had that night. The next year she wouldn't get out of bad. Then she started looking like a ghost. Then she started running the red lights the day before."
"Wait, why would she run the red lights?" Lucas asked not understanding the point.
"Because, that's how her mom died. You didn't know that did you?" She watched Lucas shake his head. "Her and her mom got in a fight one night because she was supposed to stay home and read this book with her. They had this book they read every night, and her mom hadn't been there for the past week, so when she told Peyton that she had some meeting to go to, and she couldn't stay, Peyt got kinda pissed. She was more hurt then mad, cause she wanted to spend time with her mom, ya know. Well, Peyton told her mom that she hated her and she never wanted to talk to her again."
"Yeah, she told me that part, but she stopped after that"
"Well, her mom got really upset and let the house virtually in tears. So that night when her dad came in and told her that her mom had died instantly she ran to my house. Her mom had run a red light and some drunk driver rammed into the side of the car and killed her on impact. So Peyt started blaming herself. She said that if she hadn't been mad at her mom, if she hadn't said that she hated her, then maybe she would have been paying more attention. Every year she finds more reasons to blame herself for the whole thing. God, last year she was stressed herself out to the point of coughing up blood for almost an hour straight. That was the worse she had ever gotten. But Luke if her pattern continues, that means she's gunna be worse toady." The tears were now falling uncontrollably at the memories of her friends suffering. Lucas was now crying as well, as her realized how bad Peyton could get.
"Brooke I think we really need to get her to a hospital." His voice was unsure as Peyton shifted under the covers.
"We can't Luke. They're gunna ask about her dad, and then it's gunna be one big fucking mess. Plus, she would NEVER forgive me if I split her and her dad up, she loves him too much." She tightened her grip around Peyton's limp and now fragile fingers. Lucas took a deep breath understanding Brooke's point. He didn't know exactly what would be the best thing to do.
"Hmmm" The two looked down as Peyton moaned and began to lift her head. Her eyes remained mostly closed as she turned to look at Brooke. "I didn't think you would come today" They could barley make out what she was saying.
"That exactly what Lucas said" Brooked plastered a fake smile on her face as she squeezed Peyton's hand. She wanted Peyton to believe that she wasn't worried. She had to stay strong, strong for Peyton. She knew she couldn't do it. She had to get out of there, it was too much. "Look Peyt, I have to get back to school. I swear I'll come back as soon as it over." Lucas watched the emotion flood from Brooke's eyes. He was astounded by the loyalty she really had for Peyton. "I love you Peyt. And don't worry, I'm sure Lucas will take great care of you" she leaned down and kissed her damp forehead. "Be back soon as I can" Brooke stood up and turned her gaze from Peyton to Lucas, silently pleading for him to make sure Peyton got better. He nodded, understanding her look. She gave on last glance towards Peyton's pained figure and then turned and left.
"How are you feeling" Lucas asked, hoping for a good answer.
"Dizzy" she mumbled as she laid her head back down. Lucas felt her entire body heave as she coughed. She wheezed as she attempted to inhale, but it only caused her to cough more violently. Lucas felt the warm moisture that began seeping through his shirt. His whole body tensed as he watched the red stain grow on his shirt.
"Peyton!" he screamed, turning her body into the niche in his arm. He grabbed the end of his shirt and wiped her mouth the best her could. Her coughing slowly subdued and her eyes closed slightly.
"Lucas, don't leave me" she pleaded, sweat misting around her face.
"Peyt, I'm not going anywhere" He was taken back by her fear of desertion. He wished there was something, anything he could do to make her pain go away, to let her know that she really wasn't alone. But, he couldn't think of anything to her then to continue holding her as her eyes drifter shut again.
At three Brooke stopped by again. Her and Lucas sat in the room silently for 5 hours simply watching Peyton sleep. The was both relieved when she stopped gasping for breath and her fever broke. Once 8 o'clock came around Peyton seemed back to normal. It was as though the day's events had not occurred. However, neither Lucas nor Brooke could erase the images etched in their head of Peyton's misery.
"Lucas you should go, you've been here all day. Besides she's fine now and I'll stay with her." Brooke commented quietly as she looked at him.
"I know, but I just don't feel right leaving her,"
"Go home Luke, I'm fine." Lucas cringed slightly as the harshness in Peyton's voice as she lifted her head form his chest. He watched her roll onto the other side of the bed and prop herself up on the heel of her hand.
"When did you wake up?" Lucas asked quietly. Peyton had given him the feeling that she didn't want him there.
"Just now" she answered simply. "But you really don't need to stay, Brooke's here, I'll be fine. Thank you and goodbye." She raised an eyebrow as he rose from her bed. Peyton's guilt began to eat away at her again as she saw the hurt look on Lucas's face. However, she kept her expression serious. She ached for him to stay, but she wanted him gone just the same.
"Take care of her Brooke" Lucas said walking towards the door. He gave one last look at Peyton. He hadn't expected her walls to build up as fast as they did. They were also thicker then before. Lucas knew it was no use, so he took a deep breath as he turned and headed home. Peyton watched him leave, and when she heard the door close she turned to look at Brooke. Brooke understood why Peyton pushed him away, but it killed her to see the hurt on both her friends faces. She knew they hurt her, but she honestly wanted them to be happy. Watching them both turn away from each other only made the betrayal seem worse. She snapped out of her thoughts as she climbed under the cover with Peyton. Peyton shifted her body and buried her face into Brookes soft chestnut hair, and she cried. She had finally built up her tears again only to let them escape her eyes once more, only this time it wasn't because of her mother. It was because of the best friend she betrayed, who was still there by her side, loyal as ever in a time of need. She also cried because of the guy she continued to push out of her life. 'It's for the better.' She thought to herself as the two girls slowly drifted off into their nights rest.
Lucas somberly walked into his kitchen to find his mother sitting at the table drinking coffee. "Lucas, do you know what grounded is?"
"Mom I…" Karen abruptly cut him off.
"Cutting school Lucas. You're supposed to be pulling your grades up, not lacking off. What am I supposed to do? Should I take away basketball? Will that make it clear to you that school is you top priority right now?"
"Mom please just…" once again Karen cut him off.
"Just listen Lucas. You don't have an explanation for this. I highly doubt someone drugged Peyton's drink in the middle of a school day." The comment made Lucas blood boil. He didn't want to be remained of Peyton. His night was already going to be bad enough with the memories he had without the constant reminder. "You know what; I am interested in what you were doing today. Were you spending time with Peyton or Brooke? Those seem to be the two that get you in trouble a lot." Lucas couldn't take it anymore. His whole body was screaming. He couldn't forget anything. Every little detail was playing in his head. He knew Peyton didn't deserve what she was going through, and now his mom was trying to call her some kind of trouble maker. Deep down he knew it wasn't what Karen was saying, but part of him believed she thought Peyton deserved whatever she got. God knows everyone else always seems to. Lucas exploded.
"YOU KNOW WHAT MOM, I WAS WITH PEYTON. I WAS GETTING READY TO GO TO SCHOOL SHE BASICALLY PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR. SO I THOUGHT THAT MABYE, JUST MABEY IT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO GO OVER THERE AND MAKE SURE SHE WAS ALRIGHT THEN IT WAS TO GO TO SCHOOL." Lucas's tone grew shakier and quieter as the tears started to escape his now bloodshot eyes. "And you know what I found out when I got there. That she blames herself for her mother's death, which was 7 years ago today, just incase you didn't know. So you know what she did she laid on top of me and cried herself to sleep. Oh, but not before passing out and getting a fever. But, anyway, when she woke up she started coughing up blood, and then she went back to sleep, or maybe she passed out I really don't know, I was too scare to wake her up. But enough about me, Peyton slept for five hours straight while Brooke and I watched over her to make sure she kept breathing." The tears were falling so heard that Lucas couldn't stop them. His words were choppy in between his gasps for air. "And do you wanna know what happened when she woke up? Well I'll tell you…she told me to leave. She said I'm fine now. Thank you and goodbye. But you know what your right mom, I was grounded and I should have gone to school. I am so sorry for disobeying you." Lucas turned around and started to go to his room when he felt his mother hand on his shoulder.
"Lucas, I'm so sorry. You did the right thing, but why didn't you take her to the hospital?" Karen's own eyes were now beginning to fill with tears as she watched her son's pained face.
"Because I knew that she wouldn't let me help her if I did. She didn't want to go so she would've shut me out completely. But hey, she did that anyway." Karen pulled her son into a tight hug. He relaxed into his mother warm embrace, wanting to feel like a little kid again. He wanted to go back to when life was easy.
"Lucas, I'm sure Peyton's grateful. She's just having a really hard time right now. People have different ways of grieving…"
"But that's the problem mom, she's not grieving, she's just hurting."
"All you can do Luke is respect her boundaries. She'll come around, I promise. Just be there for her when she needs you to be. Don't bring it up with her. If you drop it, chances are she'll come to you. When she's ready she'll come to you alright."
"Thanks mom." Lucas stepped back and started to head to his room.
"Oh and Lucas." He turned around to face his mom. "From now on it's school, practice, and home." Lucas began to turn around again. "Unless Peyton needs you. I know it's not a normal condition for a grounding, but she sounds like she's about to break. So if she decides she's ready to talk be there for her. She could really use a friend right now. I'm trusting you Lucas to only hang out with Peyton."
"I know mom. And thanks for everything. I'm sorry I yelled, it's just that it's been a really stressful day."
"I understand. Go get some sleep, you need it." Lucas walked back to his mom and gave her a quick hug before finally turning in for the night. Lucas fell asleep worrying about Peyton, and hoping that she didn't do anything rash. He cared about her too much, and he didn't know what he would do if he ever lost her.