A/N : Big thanx to Moonjava, Spuffy6, Brunettepet, EMBER91, IsabelGuerin8888, demonica mills, XspikeXbuffyX, Daniel Wesley Rydell, funkydevil206, Ape18, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Spikezbabe91, BuffytheVampslayer, Moluvsnumber17, Freezyboncoolipants, and La Diosa, my latest fantabulous reviewers. Yeah so William is starting to show potential for turning Spike-ish, as many of you noticed, but we have quite a way to go yet...
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 7 - The Understanding
Giles was reading his newspaper at the table when William appeared. Breakfast was due to be ready in about five minutes and as usual both men were there promptly, though Giles was wondering if his nephew was feeling altogether well.
"I would say Good Morning, William, but you don't look as if you slept all that well" he commented, putting the newspaper aside. William sighed as he took his seat.
"I had things on my mind" he replied vaguely, "but I don't..." he stopped abruptly, surprised to see Buffy entering the dining room from the opposite door that he himself had come through. Giles looked equally stunned, but covered well and smiled at the girl.
"Ah, Buffy, so nice to have you join us, my dear" he told her as she walked towards the table. If they didn't know better William and his uncle would almost think she'd made an effort with her attire as her skirt came down to at least her knees and the top she wore covered far more flesh than any other they'd seen her in.
"It's no big" she shrugged when they stared at her, "I was just hungry is all" she told them as she took her seat and Willow arrived a moment later with serving dishes of bacon and eggs and other hot breakfast food.
"Er, are you quite happy to eat as we do Buffy?" Giles asked her, "Or is there something else you would prefer?"
"No, this is good" she half-smiled in the hope he might stop grinning at her and asking her things if she at least looked a little happy.
"Pass the salt" she asked William, adding 'please' all of a sudden despite the fact he'd already picked it up to hand to her. Giles almost choked when he heard her, wondering at how manners and semi-sensible clothing had landed on the girl over night. He wished he could ask but he daren't for fear of setting her off again as he had inadvertently done a few days ago.
Again he noticed how William seemed to have a problem keeping his eyes off the blonde across the table and Giles was truly starting to worry about what kind of relationship might be developing between his nephew and God-daughter. He loved them both, of course he did, but the girl was unruly at best and a nightmare at worse. William was terribly vulnerable and it would be all to easy for him to take a turn to the wilder side of life and become, to all intents and purposes, a carbon copy of his father, Ethan. Giles would hate to see that happen.
"Do you have plans for today, William?" he asked casually as possible, hoping against hope that anything the boy did have planned would not include Buffy.
"Not as such, no" the young man mumbled, pushing his food around the plate once more but not really attempting to put anything in his mouth, "Excuse me" he said suddenly, his knife and fork clattering as he set them down. He got up and left the table then, and Giles watched him go, a little stunned by his nephews behaviour.
Without a word Buffy also dumped her cutlery and hurried after William, leaving her God-father staring at the empty table before him.
"Hey" Buffy called as she saw William on his way up the stairs, "You okay?" she asked him. He stopped half way up and leaned over the banister to look at her.
"No" he said sadly with a shake of his head, and the girl was surprised by how bad she felt for him right now, "Would you..." he began, "I wondered...can we talk?" he finally spat out the question but Buffy couldn't seem to answer immediately.
Last night when they'd talked it was probably the first real conversation she'd had with anyone in years. He wanted to tell her things and when she talked he wanted to listen. She found she wanted, even needed to hear what he had to say too and the thought wouldn't leave her that it might be nice to have someone to share her secrets with, just for a little while, so long as she was here in this house.
She nodded slowly, following on up the stairs til she reached his side. He smiled slightly as they continued on up to the first floor and then the second, as he led her toward another staircase, Buffy looked back the way she'd come.
"Exactly where are we going for this talk?" she asked with a slight frown. It didn't bother her where they went but she was starting to wonder how high the building went and what they might find when they got to the top.
"Somewhere we won't be found" he smirked almost mischievously and Buffy felt like she might be a young child again, playing hide and seek. It was good to know she didn't have to keep up all her barriers with William. She wasn't quite ready to completely let him in, but he made her admit a lot of her cold behaviour was a screen to hide her pain. As pissed at him as she would like to be for this revelation, she found she was just kind of glad that someone paid her enough attention to notice.
"Wow" the gasp that escaped her throat surprised even her as William opened a door and she stepped through into what seemed to be part of the attic, though a large window let in much of the suns bright light preventing the space being dull and gloomy as the roof of a house should be. The wooden floor was polished so it reflected the light up into the room making it almost unbearably bright, but when Buffy glanced over and saw the view from the window, she realised it would be a beautiful way to be blinded.
"It's not much of a place" William shrugged, closing the door behind himself, "but it was my sanctuary if you will, when I was a child"
The final words of his sentence stuck in Buffy's head as she turned back to look at her new friend. He really did look like such a little boy right now, and kind of lost really.
"I thought this whole house was like sanctuary-ville for you?" she said with a thoughtful look.
"Now it is" he agreed, walking over to the window and looking out, "but only since my father decided to stay away from here"
"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?" Buffy asked, sitting down cross legged on a large rug that covered part of the floor. In the absence of proper furniture it looked fairly comfortable.
"Possibly..." William began to answer as he turned back to see her sitting there, eyes closed and hands on her knees as if she were meditating. Trying to ignore the fact that crossing her legs made her skirt ride up, he took in the sight of her sitting there, the daylight shining all around her making her look like a strange sort of modern day angel.
"Do I bore you so much, Buffy?" he smirked, as he came to sit in front of her in a similar position, "Have I put you to sleep already?"
"If I was bored you'd know" she smiled, opening one eye and looking at him, covering her surprise well when she found he was no longer by the window but just a few inches in front of her, "Anyway, you said you wanted to talk so shoot" she told him, opening both her eyes and relaxing her body, leaning back a little on her hands.
William copied and sat staring at her for several moments, head tilting to one side as he did so. Just when she was about to ask him what the hell he thought he was looking at, he spoke.
"How many people have you ever talked to about your parents?" he asked her, looking seriously thoughtful about it. Buffy looked visibly startled by the question and not at all comfortable.
"What business is that of yours?" she snapped without thinking. He didn't mean to upset her or anything, she was sure, but it was like a reflex action to bite the heads off anyone that tried to get close to her, get behind the barriers she'd so expertly built after her Mom and Dad passed away.
"Buffy, last night I told you things that I never told anyone" he admitted softly, "and yet I'd promised myself that I wouldn't, just five minutes before you walked into my room"
"And what?" she shrugged, "It's my fault that you spilled your guts to me?"
"No" he was quick to answer, shaking his head in the negative, "You seem determined to start an argument with me" he sighed, "Perhaps this was a bad idea"
William got to his feet and Buffy hated that she felt bad for treating him as she was, but she couldn't seem to help herself.
"Look, you have to learn, Will" she told him with a tired sigh, as she scrambled to her feet and stood next to him as they both looked out of the window once again, "We're from different worlds, and just because last night got kind of intense with the sharing...it doesn't mean we're suddenly best friends" she told him as she turned to leave. In some ways, as crazy as it was, she thought she might like this guy for a friend. He wanted to talk to her, and that was a pleasant change, since most guys were more interested in jumping her than anything else. Still it was also sort of disconcerting that he hadn't tried to come onto her at all.
"Do you like me?" she asked suddenly, turning back from the door. He looked at her strangely then.
"What do you mean?" he checked, wanting to be very sure before he said something foolish.
"Do you like me?" she repeated, "Do you think I'm attractive?"
He coloured at the implications of the question and the way she'd almost struck a pose to show herself off, speech became an issue for poor William.
"I..I don't think that..." he stammered a little before he got the whole sentence out the way he wanted it, "I find it hard to believe that any man would not find you attractive"
"That wasn't what I asked" she told him with a sly smile. His failure to give a properly formed response was all the answer she needed really, but as much as she was starting to kind of like him, it was fun to watch him suffer a little bit.
With a deep breath William took a step towards her, reaching for the door handle slightly to her side.
"Yes, Buffy" he said in a soft tone, "I find you very attractive" he admitted, pulling the door open and causing her to move so he could exit the room.
As much as the blonde wanted to rejoice in both his admission and apparent discomfort that she had caused, she couldn't quite manage it. The look in his eyes when he'd told her that he liked her, there was attraction there, but behind a big dark cloud of something else. As she stood there for a brief moment considering it she realised what it was - disappointment.
With a mixture of hurt and fury running through her veins she stormed off after him. How dare he look at her like that, how her uncle looked at her, and Giles yesterday when she'd been swimming in the lake. What right did he have to find her disappointing? She didn't understand and she really wanted to hit something right now!
"Hey!" she yelled as she caught up to him, grabbing his arm and making him turn to face her half way along the landing, "What is up with you?" she demanded to know.
"Nothing" he told her, pulling his arm free and rubbing it with his other hand. She had a hell of a grip for a girl, "Nothing you'd be interested in at least" he added almost nastily, walking away, but still Buffy followed.
"You don't make any sense!" she yelled, "You stand there and tell me I'm attractive and then you run away. Are you afraid of me, is that it?" she asked almost laughing at the concept, and loving it just a little bit too.
"I'm not afraid, Buffy" William assured her as they got to the bottom of another flight of stairs and stopped, "I'm...I don't believe I understand you" he frowned, "Yesterday you talked to me like a person, and today...why are your looks so important to you?" he asked eventually, "This image you have, these clothes you wear to catch attention..."
"I wear these clothes for me" Buffy argued, "I look this way because I want to, not for anyone else"
"To be honest Buffy" William sighed tiredly, "I don't care, I just can't...I was mistaken to think I could talk to you about my problems and for that I'm truly sorry but..."
"Problems?" the blonde girl interrupted him, looking a little stunned, "What problems?"
William looked at the floor and everywhere but at the girl before him. Her hand found his on the edge of the banister rail and though it surprised him it also made him smile slightly.
"It's Drusilla" he said huskily, watching Buffy's fingers squeezing his own, "but...you don't want to hear this" he turned away but her grip tightened on his hand and didn't let him leave.
"I'm not good at this" she admitted, "but if you wanna tell me, I'll listen"
William looked back her, smiling gratefully as he nodded in agreement. He did want to tell her, he really had no-one else to talk to. Though Giles cared, he was busy a lot and even when he were free to listen Will knew his uncle didn't really understand. He tried to, but unless you were a person who had been through the same pain and loss it was impossible for you to comprehend and sympathise in the manner that was needed.
Buffy looked awkwardly down at her hand over William's and pulled it away suddenly, running her fingers through her hair to cover her slight embarrassment. It was weird to her that he could make her feel so strangely vulnerable at times. Still, he also made her feel sort of special, especially now he wanted to talk to her. It meant that she mattered to him, that she was important enough to be told his secrets - he trusted her. No-one else ever really had.
They were soon sitting back in the attic room, and he began to tell her everything he'd planned to before.
"They called me yesterday, to tell me that perhaps I shouldn't visit this weekend" he explained, "That's why I was so worked up about it all before...She's having another of her turns for the worse"
"You visit every weekend?" Buffy checked.
"I try to" he nodded into his response, "And even though I'm here, I'm no further from the place. It's more-or-less in the middle between my home and here" he told her, so glad to know someone was interested in what he was telling them. He didn't talk to anyone about Dru. His father's mood only ever got worse when he tried to talk to him, and he didn't like to burden Giles with all his nancy-boy worries.
"She's lucky y'know" Buffy told him, making him look at her strangely, "I mean not for the...problems and stuff" she clarified, "but to have someone that really cares about her like that. I'll bet you're a really great brother"
"Perhaps" he smirked at that, not really knowing how to take it, and finding it endearing how Buffy was trying to be as she was - kind, caring, and considerate. These things he was sure would have come to her so easily if she'd had the love of her mother and father, or even her uncle and aunt, but no-one had ever cared enough to listen to her or be there for her, she put up walls to hide the pain and fear that no-one would help her get over, and so the girl before him now was made.
"Look, I dunno much about psychology or whatever" she admitted, "but if your sister isn't so good, wouldn't it help her to see you, someone she recognises?"
"I think so" William agreed, "and she does always know me...all the others she'll be oblivious to, but through it all she always knows me"
Tears came to his eyes as he spoke about it and he fought against them as his father had taught him to well. You do not cry in front of people, you do not appear weak and feeble. If you must give in to tears you do so in private and not make yourself look like anymore of a ponce than you already are.
"If you think it'll help then go and see her" Buffy's voice broke through his deep thoughts and painful memories, "I mean, she's your sister, it has to be your choice, right?"
"But they told me not to visit" William looked troubled, but she just rolled her eyes at him.
"God William, do you always do everything you're told to do!" she asked in frustration. She knew this guy was kind of the geek type and everything but did he really have to act like such a loser!
"You told me you didn't understand me, cos yesterday I'd talk to you and today I'm not so big with the listenage" she reminded him, "Well yesterday you were jumping-in-lakes guy and now you won't even face a couple of nurses to see your sister. What gives?"
"That's not me Buffy" he shook his head, "I'm not jumping-in-lakes guy as you would call me, I don't know how to be"
"Then I'll teach you" she smiled, eyes glittering with the promise of fun, "What do you say, Will? Wanna see what life's like on the other side?"
To Be Continued...