Peyton jolted upright in her bed. She was shaking and sweating. She tried to take a deep breath to help her calm down but it didn't work. She wasn't in control of her body anymore. She hadn't been for the past couple of weeks. Peyton put her hand under her bed and patted the floor to she found it. When she was satisfied and finally able to concentrate she got up and changed into a tight long sleeve shirt and a thin pair of cotton shorts. When she was comfortable she got under the covers and drifted off once more.
The next morning Peyton awoke to the warm sun shining on her face. It was Saturday which meant she didn't have to go anywhere important. She could do whatever she wanted because Ricky wasn't around anymore. That thought put a smile on her face. Once the new set of scar healed she wouldn't have to worry anymore. Peyton swung her legs over the edge of her bed and headed into the bathroom. She did her usual every morning routine and then reached for her cover up. She applied the makeup until every mark had disappeared and then she did something she hadn't done in a while. She turned on her web cam. Then she did something else she hadn't done in a while, she practiced her cheers.
Lucas was in the habit of checking her site every morning just to see if maybe she had signed on. When he clicked on 'Punk and Disorderly' under his favorites menu he didn't even look at the screen. He turned around and grabbed his keys off his bed. He absentmindedly moved the mouse to click the 'x' in the corner and close her box but he stopped when his head saw the back of a curly blonde head. He watched her perform her cheerleading moves. She did her kicks and splits and then went over some routines. Lucas just sat and watched them all unaware of the smile on his face and the one on Karen's face as she stood in the doorway behind him. Karen shook her head at her son's actions and went back into the kitchen.
Lucas was amazed at how different her smile looked. It wasn't like it was the last time he watched her practice. Her smile wasn't fake and he could tell. But her whole demeanor had changed from when he saw her with Ricky. Her movements were lighter and flowed more. When she smiled her whole face lit up. He hadn't realized how forced her smile had been over the last month until now. But something else also caught his eye. He hadn't noticed it before because her clothes were never really that tight, but her body was smaller then he thought possible. She couldn't have weighed more then 100 pounds and the fact that she stood at 5'8 made her look skeletal.
Peyton abruptly stopped her cheering and turned to gaze into the camera with a look of bewilderment on her face. She walked over to the camera and leaned down. "Did you miss me?" She mouthed, pronouncing each syllable as clearly as possible. "I know you did." Peyton rolled her eyes slightly placing a devilish smile on her face.
Lucas forgot his worries and sat back in his chair amazed at everything she was doing. He watched her every move as he fell in love with Peyton Sawyer all over again. It wasn't that he ever didn't love her, but it started to fade. Peyton roamed through her closet and picked out a red three-quarter sleeve v-neck shirt and her usually hip huggers. He watched as she strolled into the bathroom giving the door a little kick so it would close behind her. He laughed lightly before closing down her sight and heading out the door.
Peyton got dressed and looked at herself in the mirror. She checked her face to make sure everything was hidden. She scanned her arms to make sure the other bruises and marks were all concealed by her shirt. Once satisfied she turned and walked back into her room. She looked around and spotted he sketch pad. She picked it and a pencil up and then walked out the door and headed to the park.
Once at the park Peyton found a tree and sat underneath it. She began drawing the lake scene in front of her. She leaned against the tree and felt very relaxed. Peyton felt her body gradually begin to grow tired. She ignored the feeling and continues drawing. As usual she was completely caught up in her work that she didn't notice someone watching her.
"It's gorgeous" came a voice from behind her causing her to finally break concentration. She turned her head to look back at the owner of the voice.
"Thanks Luke" She turned her around and continues drawing.
"Rumor mill goes fast around here. I heard you broke up with Ricky" He wanted to hit himself for being so blunt and idiotic. He couldn't think of anything to say and that was the first thing to come out.
"And what, you're looking to be a rebound or something, or did you just want a one night stand." Peyton didn't mean to come so bitchy, but her emotions were starting to run wild. Her body was getting aggravated and she needed more.
"No, I was just tryna start some kind of conversation. We haven't talked for a while and I was hoping for a little more then 'Hi'." Lucas looked down at the sitting figure. He watched as Peyton closed her book and stood up. She was oblivious to the fact hat she had dragged her sleeves up while closing the sketch pad. Lucas looked at her from head to toe. Her body was frail. She looked smaller then she had on the computer. "When was the last time you ate"
"Yesterday, not that it's any of your business." She glared at him. "If you're trying to get a date go look somewhere else because I'm not interested."
"Well actually I'm not trying to get a date Peyton." He said raising his voice slightly. "We used to be friends, so when you see a friend normally you say hi. But form the way it looks, were not friends."
"We haven't been for a long time Lucas." Peyton knew she should shut up but she was getting aggravated and her body was controlling her every action once again. She couldn't even seem to control what came out of her mouth. Her next statement only proved her point and she wished he slapped her as soon as the words left her mouth. "You were just some love sick wannabe upset because I didn't choose you. As far as I can see you haven't changed at all. You still running after me, going for something completely out of you league something, something you can't have."
Lucas had a look of utter shock on his face as did Peyton, neither believe what just came out of her mouth. However, Lucas recovered quicker then she did. "See you have things a little twisted Peyt. I could have you if I wanted you. Any freaking guy could, it really wouldn't be that hard to get you're into you pants. It never has been." Once again Lucas wanted to slap himself. Peyton was quick to retaliate.
"So your gunna sit here and lie to my face while you tell me you didn't act like a little lost lovesick puppy." Her anger was radiating through her whole body and she didn't know where it was coming from. She wasn't that mad at Lucas, but something was definitely getting to her. Lucas watched as her eyes started to wonder, looking around aimlessly.
"Yea maybe I was Peyton, but I'm not right now. You know why? Because the Peyton I feel in love with…" Lucas snatched her arm and extended it out right , causing her to drop her stuff. "She wasn't some heroine addict." Peyton pulled her arm back and quickly pulled her sleeve down covering the numerous needle marks along her inner arm.
"That's none of your God damn business Scott. I'm fine, I can handle myself." She yelled picking up her things.
"Fine whatever it's you life. But don't lie to yourself. Look at you! Your eyes are all shifty! You can't stand still! And did you hear the bull shit that just flew out of your mouth! Your need your fix Peyton and you need it bad. Last time I checked that wasn't handling yourself." Peyton just looked at him. She tried to compose herself just to prove him wrong but she couldn't keep it together. He noticed her attempt. "You wanna prove me wrong Sawyer, then go one week without touching the shit. Then we can TALK about being able to handle yourself, but until then you have no argument." Lucas looked at her waiting for a response. What he got shocked him. Her eyes started to tear. He suddenly felt guilty for what he just said to her.
Peyton turned away from him and walked over to the picnic table overlooking the lake. He was telling her the truth, and that was something she wasn't ready to hear. She wanted to take things one day at a time. She sat down on the table and let the warm wind blow through her hair. She felt Lucas's eyes on her. "How did you get into this shit Peyton." He asked sitting beside her. She simply let her head fall back as she inhaled deeply.
"I only did it three times, well four if you include this morning." She commented bring her head upright and looking over the lake. She turned to look at Lucas. "He was no good for me you know. He got me started on it one night. Said it was his way of apologizing, it would make me feel better. Didn't want to but I did it anyway. I figure lets try something new." "Your idea of trying something new is injecting yourself with heroine 'cause your boyfriend tells you to?" He saw a look of uncertainty flash in her eyes and then quickly disappear.
"Don't lecture me right now Lucas. What's done is done, it's in the past and it can stay there as far as I'm concerned."
"Look at you. It's obviously not in the past if it's affecting you right now." She could hear the genuine worry in his voice.
"One week." She said simple as she got up form off the table. She turned to look at him. "I will o one week without touching the stuff. I don't have any so it shouldn't be hard." She shrugged and walked away. Lucas watched her stroll over to her car and then get in. She gave him one last look before driving away. Lucas watched until he could see her car anymore. 'How did thing get like this?' he thought to himself as he slid off the table.