Peyton walked into her room feeling more aggravated then ever. She quickly reached under her bed and pulled out her small stash. She filled the needle and sat down on her bed ready to relive her pain and suffering. She put the needle to her arm and stopped just before she injected herself. Peyton needed to prove to Lucas that she had things under control. She also needed to prove it to herself. She lifted her self from the bed and placed the not full needle on her dresser. She was determined to find the will power to not take it.
Peyton could feel her skin crawling. Her heart was beating so fast that she was sure it might give out any minute. She needed her fix and she needed it bad, but she was adamant about getting clean and staying clean. She needed to get out of the house. She couldn't stand being cooped up anymore. She felt like tall the walls were closing in on her. She felt like screaming at the top of her lungs. She ran downstairs and out her back door. She stood up tall and tried to compose herself.
She looked out on the woods behind her house. Peyton walked off her deck and into the woods. As she walked her eyes seemed to pick up on everything around her as her eyes picked up on every sound. She wasn't used to feeling so cautions about things. Her whole body was on high alert but she didn't know why. She continued to stroll through the woods as a cool breeze ruffled her hair. It sent shivers up and down her spine. She clasped her hands around her shoulders in a failed attempt to calm herself.
Peyton started to feel lightheaded. The woods around her seemed to be spinning in every direction possible. The sound of the leaves was about 100 times louder to her surprisingly sensitive ears. She couldn't get her eyes to focus on one thing; they just continued shifting searching for some unknown thing. Peyton feel to her knees, unable to stand anymore. She brought her hand to her head and closed her eyes. She repeatedly told herself to calm down but nothing was working.
She opened her eyes as a single drop of water fell on her unsuspecting nose. She gazed up at the sky. The once blue clouds were now gray and dense with liquid. She closed her eyes as the water was finally released from the sky. The rain was subtle and relaxing to her racing mind. She opened her mouth to taste the sky's cool and fresh tears and enjoyed the feeling of the moisture on her face.
She stood up somehow feeling much better then before. Peyton spread her arms as if they were wings. She spun in circles like a little kid. She closed her eyes and tilted her head up towards the sky, opening her mouth to once again feel the smooth drops dance down her throat. She turned and looked in the direction of her house. She started to walk back to her house, now feeling more then relaxed.
"Raindrops are falling on my head
I'm just like a
guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin´ seems to fit
Those raindrops are
falling on my head, they keep falling"
She sang contently to the open forest around her. AS she continued she seemed to add a small skip to her step.
"So I just did me some talking to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleeping
on the job
Those
raindrops are falling on my head, they keep falling"
Peyton stopped at the edge of the woods staring at her open back yard. "What the hell am I doing?" she asked her self contorting her face to express her confusion. She hadn't skipped and sang through the woods since she was a little girl. She was shocked by the feeling that had overcome her body. But as she walked through her back door she was glad it happened. She was feeling better then she thought possible. She walked up to her room and shivered slightly. Until hat moment she had forgotten that she was soaked. She laughed at herself as she opened her draw and pulled out her most comfortable pajama pants and a large shirt. She threw them carelessly onto her bed. Peyton placed her hands at the edge of her shirt and prepared to pull it over her head, but she stopped as a message appeared on her computer screen. She stepped closer to read it.
-Your cam's still on. Just thought you'd like to know before you stripped for a bunch of pervs. - She bit her bottom lip and looked at the flashing light on her cam. She was so used to never having it on anymore that she completely forgot about it.
"Thank you Luke" she mouthed before turning off the cam. Lucas watched as the screen went black. He laughed. That was the Peyton he had fallen for and that was the Peyton he missed. He thought for a moment and wondered what had changed her mood from when he last saw her at the park. Then suddenly he remembered what first caught his attention when he came home. The needle sitting her desk, it explained how care free she was. He watched as her room came back into focus. He was mad at her for not being able to go a day without drugging herself, but it hurt him more to know that she had let her life spiral so far out of control. Lucas watched her dry her hair with a towel and began to get angry with himself. He couldn't believe that he had let her slip out his grasp as easy as he did, and he also couldn't believe that he watched her everyday and still didn't know that something was wrong.
-So you couldn't even last a day Peyt- he watched as confusion flashed across her face as she read his comment. –Turn around- he quickly typed. He watched her turn and stare at the syringe on her night stand.
Peyton walked over to her dresser and picked up the unused needle. She walked back over to the computer with rage in her eyes. She couldn't believe that he had no faith in her. She held up the needle to the cam and pointed to the liquid heroine inside. She then dropped it in the garbage and stared back at the screen. "I didn't take it." She mouthed before walking downstairs. All the happiness slowly drained from her body as she collapsed onto the couch. Her body started to shake again as she closed her eyes letting the world around her fade to black.
Lucas sat in his room feeling guilty for jumping to conclusions. He should have known that she wouldn't give up that easily, it just wasn't in her. But then again, in order to turn to heroine you had to give up sometime. He began to think that maybe Peyton wasn't as strong as she let on. He wanted to believe that she could control herself but his mind continued to fill with doubt.
Peyton bolted straight up and nearly fell off the couch. She was covered in sweet and her entire body was shaking worse then before. She attempted to stand and began to feel nauseous. She quickly made her way to the downstairs bathroom and kneeled next to the toilet. Her whole body heaved as she threw up. Her stomach tightened causing her to purge herself once more. She hung over the toilet for about 10 minutes before finally feeling stable enough to stand. Peyton walked slowly up the stairs and into her room. As she turned off her web cam, she shivered as an invisible sheet of ice seemed to wrap itself around her, engulfing her entire body. She poured herself into bed and pulled the covers over her. Her body was shaking uncontrollably and her mind was racing with endless thoughts. Peyton lay there with her blanket wrapped tightly around, starting out into the dark night with blood shot eyes. She stayed like that all night, unable to sleep until a little past 6 o'clock.
Two hours Peyton rolled out of bed still feeling crappy, although it was much better then last night. She dragged herself into the bathroom and turned on the cold water in the shower. She shed her clothes and stepped in letting the water beat down onto her overheated skin. Her head was pounding but she ignored it the best she could as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. She walked into her room and scanned her draws until she found a pair of thin shorts and a plain red wife-beater. She changed and then turned to look in the mirror. The water had washed away all her make-up, revealing her marred skin. She toughed the spot under her eye where he had first hit her. She flinched at the pain the sensitive skin caused her. She turned her head and looked at the floor, wondering what had happened to the old Peyton. The old Peyton would never have stayed with someone like Ricky. She turned and headed out of her room and then out the back door of her house and towards the woods. The tree seemed to be calling her, and so she answered.
Upon her return home Peyton once again felt better, almost as good as she had yesterday. She spent the rest of the day lounging on her couch and watching TV. She experienced the same feeling that night as she had the night before, only the shaking was worse. The next morning she woke up early and went walking through the woods before covering her scars and heading to school. The whole thing became a routine for her over the next couple of days.
Lucas had watched her, intrigued by the way she was able to cope without the heroine. Only he didn't know that pain she suffered every night, or the trauma her body endured every morning in the bathroom. He would talk to her briefly during first period, making sure she wasn't happy because of drugs. He believed her because the puncture marks on her arms had almost disappeared. Lucas was happy that things were going well, but on Friday his doubts returned as he watched Peyton stroll into class was blood shot eyes. She looked like a zombie and didn't even acknowledge his presence like she had all week.
Peyton slumped down into her desk, barley able to keep her eyes open or move for that matter. She had gone for her walk in the woods but it didn't' help her any. Everyday the walk worked less and less. This morning it didn't have any effect on her at all. All day her teacher's voices aggravated her already splitting headache. Peyton wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there. At the end of the day she sat in her car trying to build up the energy to drive home.
"Peyton…Peyton…Peyt?" Lucas looked down at the deprived figure below him. He waved his hand in front of her face as he continued calling her name. She looked up at him, her eyes were shifty and lost. "Well I won't even bother asking whether you took anything this morning 'cause obviously…" Lucas paused to wave his hand and motion at her limp body. "you didn't."
Peyton just gazed at him not understanding a single thing he said. This withdrawal thing was kicking her sorry ass and there was nothing she could do. Lucas heart melted as he looked at her. He opened her car door and moved her over to the passenger side, seating himself in the driver's seat. "Whatareyoudoing?" Peyton mumbled, her words molded together.
"Taking you home." He said starting the car. "I'm not staying with you or anything, you got yourself into this mess, but I'm not about to let you drive hope in you…condition." He pulled out of the school on drove to her house. When he stopped the car in her driveway he noticed she had fallen asleep. He shook his head as he gently lifted her out of the car and carried her to her room. He place her on the bed and despite what his heart was telling him, he left and started his walk home.