Part 11
They peeled off each other instantly. Beast Boy with his hand behind his head, Raven caught a little more awkward her hood off, her face red.
"Okay, now there is definitely something up!" Cyborg said hand finger raised in the air.
Starfire looked up, "A cloud?"
"Yeah there's just a cloud," Beat Boy agreed.
"No, no, no," Cyborg shook his head, "There's something up between you two," he pointed at the pair of Titans.
"There's nothing between us," Raven said in a deathly voice. A face of defeat quickly painted itself on Beast Boy's face but then quickly went away.
"Are you certain?" Robin asked.
"He just hugged me because he was happy I was okay, nothing more!" She crossed her arms in front of her chest, and then turned towards Beast Boy, "Got that cabbage head?"
Beast Boy gulped and nodded.
"How did you change back?" Robin looked over at Beast Boy, "I saw you change in the fight and carry Raven out, how did you turn back."
"Well um," Beast Boy scratched his chin, thinking, "I'm not quite sure."
Raven sighed, "When I tell him to change, he changes back."
"Why?" Starfire blinked.
Raven threw up her arms, "How am I supposed to know! I just know he does," she placed her arms back down and crossed them again.
"Beast Boy are you able to control when you want to change?" Robin crossed his arms now as well.
"I think so, but I think I'm going to need more experience to know for sure," he sat down on the concrete, "I don't understand much when I change."
Cyborg lifted an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"
"I mean that I just don't remember what I did or am doing while I'm you know… whatever," he laid his chin in his open palm, his elbow resting on his Indian style sitting knees.
"So you remember nothing then?" Starfire pondered.
The Changeling shook his head, "No I remember bits and pieces, at least I think I remember bits and pieces."
"Do you remember bits and pieces or not!" Raven shouted at him, and then quickly caught her anger and set it aside, she didn't want to be so mean to him, but she had to keep up the façade.
Beast Boy's fang was hidden as he bowed his head down and held it within his hands, "I don't know, it's all so confusing," he sounded on the verge of tears.
"Beast Boy what makes you so sad?" Starfire went over and placed a hand down on his small shoulder.
He shook his head; he couldn't tell them that it was partly because Raven was now mad at him. He couldn't tell them that it was because he was afraid of the Beast that was inside himself. That he didn't know half the things the Beast does or why it does it. He couldn't come off seeming so weak and naïve, but then again what was the point? He always came out looking dumb in the end, looking like the fool. Even know in all senses of seriousness he was coming out to look like the fool. He couldn't answer their questions clearly. He couldn't answer himself clearly. That's all he was, a muffled sounds of bad punch lines and banter. He sighed, and now suddenly full of anger he yelled back at his 'team', "Just leave me ALONE!" He stood up suddenly growling at them all.
He turned towards Raven and snarled at her, and she backed away slightly frightened by the sudden outburst, "Beast Boy you need to calm down! You know what will happen to you if you…"
"NO! I will do as I please! I don't need to be your fool anymore!" He turned into a hummingbird and became invisible as he flew up towards the sun and out of sight.
Cyborg and Starfire looked around and at the same time both questioned, "What just happened?"
Robin put a hand to his forehead rubbing his temple frustrated.
Raven stared up at the sky and gave a quiet murmur that no one could hear, it was the simple words, "I'm sorry."
--
Raven flowed in the middle of her room, aggravated at herself. Why did she have to act so mean? Why did she have to be so nasty? It was her fault.
Worst was that they didn't even realize it was her fault. She had put on such a show, she had been so mean that it was clearly evident that she didn't care for the little green guy, but she did, and that's why it hurt her so.
The others went out looking for him, but all they found was his communicator, they were afraid of him changing, Raven was afraid that he would change. Hurt some innocent people and end up in the jail, how ironic the hero going to jail. Though Beast Boy wasn't the most heroic person in the world, or graceful at least he tried. He tried his best to do what good he could, what did Raven ever do? Just suppress the evil she could unleash. She wasn't doing as much good as she was just preventing harm.
It had only been several hours but she already missed him. She missed the arguing that should've been happening near the TV, or kitchen. She missed his knocking on her door and asking her to join him in some game or activity. She missed the way he felt and smelled. Wait, did she just think that? She did.
Come on Raven we can't do this. We cannot love Beast Boy, we can care for him, treat him like a precious piece of jewelry, we can treat him like a small doll and care for him, and we can be there for him because we can control him, but we cannot love him. You know what love does! It only causes pain! In the end it'll only cause pain. Beast Boy isn't the kind of person who can love, he's more an animal than a person that can love. We are only going out with him to solve his issue of the Beast. Once he figures it out completely he won't need us.
…. He won't need me. Suddenly Raven was no longer floating but sitting on the edge of her bed. She didn't know why, she didn't know if it was because he was gone or because she was simply alone, or the fact that at some point she'd be no use for Beast Boy but Raven did something that she hadn't done in a long time – She let a tear roll down her pale cheek and drop harmlessly onto her floor.
--
What are you doing? Beast Boy argued with himself. He jumped from rooftop to rooftop with no purpose in mind. His cheetah form allowing his body to go as fast as it could, away from the city, but what was the point?
Why was he so angry with the team? He's the one that got up and flew away. He's the one that got mad and angry, not his team.
No – Something inside was telling him. No they make us look like a fool. Every sentence they say is created in an effort to keep us from looking bright. We are made to look like the village idiot. We are mad to look stupid and helpless. We are made to look not as strong as them, but we are stronger then them! Yes, we are much stronger, much stronger indeed and one day they shall see how strong we are! Raven won't be able to treat us the way she does! No she will respect us! She will respect our power!
…Power- Beast Boy fought with his inner demons. His body was screaming to change but his heart and brain were doing its best to fight it. He didn't know what would happen if he changed, who he would hurt, what he would harm. He had to stop himself from changing; he couldn't allow himself to turn into the Beast. The Beast that he had no control over, at least not with Raven around, he missed her so much, how could she be so mean to him? No it was only an act, to throw off the others, but couldn't she have been a little nicer?
And why did they have to be kept a secret? Why did they have to act like Robin and Starfire and pretend that nothing was happening, when everyone would eventually figure out that it's just the opposite?
His thoughts on Raven and the team was all his body needed to change, it was the smallest distraction his inner demons needed to change his small frame into a massive Beast.
--
Cyborg got back to the tower, aggravated with finding nothing. Normally he would play video games but what was the point without fighting with Beast Boy on who gets to be first player? He made his way to the kitchen, but suddenly he didn't really feel hungry. He sighed and began to make his way to his room but he heard a noise. He couldn't pinpoint what it was but it was coming from Raven's room, they had let her be alone like she asked but what was going on? Was she in trouble? He knew that she didn't like anyone in her room, but what about just peering in?
Cyborg gulped and moved his robotic hand ever closer to the door console, and then in what seemed like slow motion he dialed the code and opened up her room.
"Raven," he watched the small girl who was shuddering.
"GET OUT!" Raven suddenly alarmed that someone was watching her wasn't aware that her emotions had gotten out of control.
"AH!" Cyborg got pushed into the hallway wall, denting it with his metallic body.
Raven gasped, "Sorry!" She got up and rushed to Cyborg's side, "I am so sorry, you just, you just" she wiped her eyes quickly, "You surprised me."
"It's alright Rae," He blinked several tmes to make sure, "Yeah think I'm alright. Um Raven, why are you crying?"
Raven bite her lip but then sighed, "Can you keep a secret?"
Cyborg shrugged, "Sure, I can lock secrets away into their own secret folder in my system."
Raven stared at him, "I'm kidding, what's wrong?"
"You can't tell anyone!"
Cyborg nodded.
She let out a deep breath, "I think that I, I think that I, well I, I think I like Beast Boy," she bowed her head, embarrassed. "No, I'm pretty sure," she admitted, in a sad tone.
-end of part 11