PLEASE READ:
AH! Sorry for not having updated! School starts monday (highschool), and I still don't know which one I will be attending... um yeah, big problem! But my story Busted is wrapping up, and Mediocre bad guys should be soon as well which means that I can focus on other stories. The thing is with school starting so soon I hesistate starting anything new in place of either of those, which means BASICALLY there is this and "Not Again", in the OC, but I don't update Not Again reguarly since it is sequal. Now I'm sorry to say that means for the people who read my OC fics I will only have this story going probably by the first week of september, while I have several One Tree Hill stories. It's kinda funny cause with OTH, I write Lucas and Peyton (leyton), and I don't even really like them as a couple. So while I think my OTH stories may be better (hence being updated more) my heart is with this show... lol, I know it's a big rant but needless to say I am not quite sure how invested I am in fanfiction at this point. I'm still going to write, but updates may be sparse between Junior year, church, lack of sanity, and year round soccer. If you give me new OC story ideas I'll try to think of something new.
BTW: This chapter has MAJOR Sum, Rissa bonding!
xoxo Jules
Chapter 10: "Ain't no kind of freedom"
Marissa awoke the next morning to find herself alone in bed. She glanced from side to side but Ryan was nowhere… Had something happened during the night?
The blinds in the pool house were drawn down. The sunlight practically blinded her as she stepped out of the pool house. She was wearing an old pair of her sweat pants, the drawstring pulled to an unimaginable amount in order to hold themselves up. An old t-shirt of Ryans hung loosely from her body.
Before she could even reach the door to the main house Summer came out.
"Hey Marissa!" She said with a smile.
"Hey Summer." Marissa didn't know why but she liked Summer. Maybe she was a little empty upstairs, spoiled, and therefore materialistic, but she wasn't really like anyone Marissa ever knew.
"Breakfast inside."
"Ok." Marissa said glancing out to the water.
"Hey, so I heard that you're probably staying." Summer said excitedly.
"Yeah, it seems that way." Marissa said turning back to the girl again.
"Well then I think that we need to have a girls afternoon for sure so I can give you the low down on the Newport scene. What do you think?" Summer suggested.
Marissa nodded her head. She had never had a "girls day," before but figured there could be less horrible things.
"Yeah. That sounds like fun." Marissa said her lips cracking into a small smile.
Right then Seth leaned his head out of the house.
"You girls coming in? Jace is totally beating the crap out of Ryan in Mortal Kombat."
Summer and Marissa rolled their eyes, and followed Seth inside.
"Haha! I gotcha!" Jace yelled as he jumped up and down in front of the screen.
"You are totally cheating!" Ryan argued back.
Marissa laughed as she watched the two.
"Good morning Marissa." Kirsten said from the table.
"Morning." Marissa said
"We have bagels, toast, eggs." Kirsten informed her.
"Thanks." Marissa said going into the kitchen. Everyone watched her out of the corner of their eyes curious about what she was going to do. She simply grabbed a cup of coffee and sat on one of the stools.
Kirsten tried not to look too disappointed.
"So, what are you kids planning on doing today?"
"We, are having a girls day. Marissa and I." Summer said in a matter of fact tone.
"I want to come to the girls day!" Seth whined
"Dude." Ryan said from where he was sitting playing.
--- Summer and Marissa entered a little diner later on that day. Marissa opened the menu and looked curiously through the pages. Summer just watched her and did the same.
"What do you want to get?" Summer asked as she closed her menu.
"I'm not really hungry." Marissa said putting down the menu and taking a long sip of water.
"Yeah, well I don't buy it. You're getting something." Summer said staring into Marissa's eyes.
"Summer, I told you that I didn't want anything." Marissa said becoming annoyed.
"Marissa look, I know we barely know each other and it's not really my place, but nobody else is saying anything."
"That's right Summer, and I don't need you to." Marissa said staring Summer dead in the eyes. Usually when she looked at people like that they backed off, but not Summer she was different.
"I don't think that you have any clue just how much you need it." Summer said standing up grabbing her purse.
"What are you doing?" Marissa asked curiously.
"It was a bad idea to do this here. Come on." Summer said heading towards the door leaving Marisa to follow her, which she did.
"Where are you going?" Marissa asked
"We're going to my house." Summer said hopping in her car, she pushed the door open on the other side for Marissa. Marissa hesitated. "Are you coming or not?"
Marissa looked around, what was her other option? She rolled her eyes and hopped into the passenger seat of Summers car.
They pulled up to a mansion that was even larger than the Cohens. Marissa's eyes nearly popped out of her head. She didn't know that places like this really existed.
"Well are you going to stand there and stare or are you going to come in?" Summer asked, her tone friendly and joking as she watched how Marissa was looking at her house.
She swung open the big double doors.
"Woah." Was all that Marissa could say.
"Come on." Summer said gesturing for Marissa to follow her up the stairs into her room. Summer closed the door behind her although nobody else was home. She took a seat on her bed. Marissa stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. "You can sit down." Summer said seriously looking up at her.
"Why did we come here?" Marissa asked gazing around the room, "not like it's a problem or anything!" She said quickly not wanting to sound rude.
"Well you obviously weren't gung hoe about the restaurant." Summer said watching Marissa begin to shift nervously. "Everyone knows that you have a problem Marissa."
"If everyone knows than why do you insist on bringing it up!" Marissa asked becoming angry.
"Because, like I said, nobody else is." Summer said seriously
"You don't know anything about this Summer."
"Like hell I don't! Look. Don't tell me what I know and what I don't know!"
Marissa was taken aback by the fact the Summer had just snapped at her like that.
"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Summer said bringing her voice back down.
"No, I shouldn't have snapped at you either." Marissa said dropping her head.
"It was sophomore year when I began to… I don't know, it was like I lost track of myself, what I wanted, who I was. My dad started going away a lot more… I got sad, more like depressed actually. I sat up in my room all day. Everything disgusted me, school, friends, life…" Summers voice began to quiver. "I didn't even realize that I was loosing the weight at first, it just kind of fell off, and then everything started to get better, but I had to hold onto one bit of pain, … food, or lack thereof for that matter." She said in an almost disbelieving tone.
"Wha- What made you stop?" Marissa stuttered
"I woke up one morning and looking in the mirror and hated what I saw. I hated the person I had become… I didn't know the person I had become…" Summer wiped her eye and then looked up to meet Marissas. "You ready to talk?"
Marissa shrugged.
"What's there to say?"
"I don't know, you tell me." Summer said winking
"Back home… or Chino, whatever, the main reason people lost a lot of weight how I did was like cocaine." Marissa said holding back tears. "I can't even tell you why it started or when even… I don't know…"
Summer just sat back and listened. Something in Marissa trusted the fact that Summer would be the last person to judge her about this.
"I love the feeling of it." Marissa confessed
"Of not eating?" Summer asked
"No, being empty. I like being empty." She said simply
Summer watched how she seemed to detached from the situation. It was kind of scary.
"You're not going to get better unless you want to." Summer said
"This is me. You have to understand, this is how I am." Marissa said staring at Summers light purple wall expressionless.
"I know it's hard coming here, big changes and all, but you have a chance to start over! You don't have to have this thing hanging over your head."
Marissa just continued to stare blankly.
"Fine." Summer said putting her hands up in the air. "But I'm not going to let this go. I don't want to see you in a casket."
Both girls sat on the bed thinking their own thoughts and contemplating the others, both soon fell asleep.
When Marissa woke up the sun was no longer shining, she stretched in the unfamiliar bed where Summer was still asleep. She stood up, and for the first time in what felt like so long glanced at herself in the mirror. Her face was pale and bony, every angle shot out, her body looked like it was about to give way.
She truly knew what it was like to look in the mirror and hate everything that you were, and grieve for everything that you never were, nor will ever be.
---- Ryan and Sandy sat in an awkward silence on the kitchen stools each reading a section of the newspaper. Ryans eyes kept on glancing back and forth from Sandy to the paper.
"Are you alright Ryan?" Sandy asked folding his section.
"I have to ask you a question." Ryan said looking anywhere but Sandy. "Well I more gotta tell ya something."
"Spit it out Ryan." Sandy said now becoming concerned
"I think that Marissa and I are in trouble." Ryan said his voice getting deep.
"What kind of trouble?" Sandy asked
---- Hours later when Marissa walked through the door Ryan and Sandy were involved in a deep serious conversation.
"What's going on?" Marissa asked
"Nothing!" Ryan said quickly.
Marissa just nodded and decided not to question the mens strange behavior.
"Jace is out with Seth and Kirsten." Sandy told Marissa.
"Alright." Marissa said nodding.
Things were still kind of awkward between she and Sandy, understandably. Marissa casually grabbed a bagel off of the counter and walked out to the pool house.
Sandy and Ryan looked at each other and then back at the girl who had just disappeared into the pool house.
"I don't think I've seen her eat since…" Ryan began, "never mind, I've never seen her eat…"
"I've never seen her touch food…" Sandy said.
Ryan stood up and walked out to the pool house and peeked through the window. Marissa sat on the center of the bed with the bagel in front of her. She was picking off the sesame seeds and crunching them between her teeth carefully, one at a time.
Ryan entered the pool house to find Marissa's eyes were clouded with unshed tears.
"Hey." Ryan said coming in sitting on the other side of the bed, the bagel now between them.
Marissa didn't say anything as her hands fumbled on top of the bagel…
"Are you alright?" Ryan asked. She didn't answer, she just continued to fumble with the food. Ryan then put his hand ontop of hers, squeezing it lightly. "It's going to be okay." He said assuringly.
Marissa tried not to look him in the eyes because she knew that the second she did the water works would begin.
Ryan looked at the girl in front of him… so fragile, so broken… She shouldn't have to worry about her family, Jace, this whole eating thing, and not to mention Rigo, Raul, and Luis. That is why he was taking care of it…
DUN DUN DUN.......
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xoxo Jules