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Chapter 13- Hard choicesIt was eight o' clock and Harry still lay in his bed. He didn't want to go to work today, so he could just stay confined to his room. He was afraid. Afraid of walking out and finding her gone.
Yeah he told her to leave and he heard the door shut sometime later. But walking out would only confirm what he new in his heart. Hermione was gone and Harry groaned as the sickest feeling washed over him.
He knew his life would very be the same.
Ron yawned as he reached for the coffee. Leaning over the counter he grabbed a cup catching the blinking light from the answering machine.
Smiling he remembered when Harry showed him how to use it after Luna insisted they had every muggle contraption known to mankind.
It took him a while but he eventually learned how to check messages. He frowned looking at the blinking light again. He didn't hear the phone ring last night. Of course he was sleeping and everyone knew he could sleep through a war without even knowing it.
Shrugging he pressed the button then turned back to pouring his coffee.
"You have one new message" the automated voice rang through the kitchen. "To hear your message press one"
Ron pressed the button and leaned back resting on the counter. "Ron, are you there? Pick up please" he tensed hearing Hermione's distraught voice blare through the phone.
"I guess your sleeping" Ron caught the sob she choked back "Call me as soon as you get this. I'm at the inn in Hogsmeade"
Ron's brow wrinkled in confusion, why was she in Hogsmeade. "I need to talk to you. Harry has asked me to leave the flat"
"End of messages. To save press seven," the automated voice said signaling the end of Hermione's message.
Spitting out his coffee Ron gasped "What the bloody hell?" he cried out. Wiping the coffee from his chin Ron scribbled a note to Luna and apperated to Hogsmeade.
Running as fast as he could he rushed into the inn grabbing onto the counter top as he stumbled "Hermione Potter" he said hurriedly to the woman behind the counter.
"Room five," she said sweetly.
Ron didn't bother saying thanks, he just charged up the steps making his way quickly to her room. Something was wrong he heard it in her voice.
He was worried, he didn't understand what could possibly be so bad for Harry to ask her to leave but he was about to find out. Ron only hoped it wouldn't leave him wanting to hurt his best friend.
Pounding on her door, he called her name "Hermione, its Ron, open the door"
Ron waited anxiously as she fiddled with the locks. His heart pounding. His face fell ashen as she opened the door and fell into his arms.
"Hermione" he whispered helping her into the room and closing the door. Glancing around he saw Ashlynn sleeping on the bed.
"Mione, what happened love" he asked as she sobbed into his chest. "Oh, Ronald I made a mess of everything" she cried clinging to his robes.
"Harry hates me. He never wants to see me again. It was all a misunderstanding. I tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen" she looked up at him with teary brown eyes.
"I tried Ron" she sobbed "I…" she broke off and sunk to the floor. Her shoulders shook violently as she cried. "Hermione, whatever happened he'll calm down and talk to you" he said.
"Harry isn't a prat Mione, he loves you and his little girl. Give him some time to calm down. You'll see everything will work out" he spoke softly gently rocking her.
"It's too late Ron. You don't know how wrong you are." She cried out in agony. "Hermione I don't know what happened but Harry loves you and Ashlynn" sighing he rubbed her back. "Surely you know that."
"Harry is never going to forgive me. My marriage is over Ron and it's all your sister's fault" Hermione spat.
Ron looked taken back "All Ginny's fault?" he repeated her words in confusion. "How is this Ginny's fault?"
Hermione's eyes darkened hearing him say Ginny's name. The magnitude of the betrayal almost made her choke herself. Ron thought he knew what this was all about.
"Mione" he chuckled "You don't think Harry's still interested in Ginny? Harry loves you, he would never turn his back on you and Ashlynn"
Hermione scoffed surprising Ron "I don't believe Harry wants Ginny or she wants him for that matter." Standing up she steadied herself as her knees felt the need to buckle.
Ron noticing her stumbles grabbed onto her arm to steady her should she fall. Angrily she jerked away from his hand. "You don't get it," she whispered.
"It runs deeper than that. Harry can and has turned his back on me" the words stung her throat and her heart. She struggled to catch her breath as her head spun out of control.
Ron sighed; okay he still had no idea what was wrong. Whatever it was it had Hermione a mess. But he knew his other best friend and he was positive Harry wouldn't leave his wife and daughter.
"You his wife Hermione. Ashlynn is his daughter, he would…" Her sob stopped him from finishing his sentence. He moved to her. Ready to comfort her, as it seemed she needed.
Hermione turned to look at her daughter. She was asleep unaware of the events that took place after the toy store. She watched her daughter's contented face smile in her slumber.
Hermione wondered if she would ever see her daughter smile again. Once everything was out. Her whole world would be blown apart. She was only two still far too young to completely understand but she knew enough to notice Harry would not be coming around.
"Ashlynn isn't Harry's Ron" she whispered the words as if she didn't want to say them.
Ron was thankful he was next to a chair cause he certainly felt the need to sit down. "What" he asked in shock as Hermione turned to him with tears down her face.
"Harry is not her father. I was already pregnant when we got married" she told him. "But, you never said… I thought you and Harry were together… I don't understand" he fumbled with his words as a million questions ran through his mind.
"Make me understand," he demanded sounding hurt and confused. "Damn it Hermione, make me understand," he cried when she didn't say anything.
Her chest ached from the pain he was flash in his eyes. The same pain she saw in Harry's that dreadful night she confessed her sins. Now it was time she did the same for the other man most important in her life.
Her own betrayal washed over her again as she gulped. Would he forgive her? She certainly hoped he would but her heart reminded her Ron was never one who liked to be kept in the dark.
Her and Harry both would deal with his wrath at being left out. He didn't like it back at Hogwarts and he certainly wouldn't like it now.
Sighing she gathered all the strength she had left and explained how she entered a relationship which she kept secret from him and Harry. How the union had left her heartbroken and pregnant. How Harry offered to marry her and raise the baby as his own.
Ron sat there in silence as she explained every heartbreaking detail. His tried to hold back the anger he was feeling as she spoke of the lies she had told and the secrets she kept from him.
Ron felt betrayed, neglected. And stupid. Wasn't he her friend too? Didn't he get a right to help her with troubles?
He thought he did. After all he was her best friend too. He didn't speak as she finished he only sat there wondering when the golden trio became a duo.
"So my best friends didn't think to include me in any of this," he said, his voice radiating his hurt.
Hermione let out the breath of air she was holding "Ron, it wasn't that we didn't want to tell you. We wanted everyone to think she was Harry's daughter." She said trying her best to defend her actions.
"I was desperate," she whimpered, begging him to understand.
"Then why Harry? Why not come to me for help? Did you think I wouldn't have helped you?" He wanted to know. She gave him a small smile, still the same old Ron. She suspected he would always hate living in Harry's shadow.
"Ron, you and Luna had just got married, the last thing you needed was me laying my burdens on your shoulders" she sighed softly.
"Burdens I surely would have carried" he told her "I may have been married Mione but you still could have come to me" he sighed softly running his fingers through his red hair.
"I know that. You and Harry have always watched over me. I couldn't ask for better friends" she smiled wiping the tears. Ron held out his hand for her to take and she did.
"Then why not come to me," he asked holding her trembling hand.
"I wouldn't allow myself to put a damper on your new found happiness. Harry wasn't with anyone. He had nothing more important to focus on at the time," she told him sadly.
"Hey" he said grabbing her other hand and making her face him. "You are just as important as Luna. She is my wife and I share my life with her. But you have my focus too. I share my life with you as well."
Hermione's lip quivered as she stared in to the eyes of her best friend. She relaxed a little knowing he wasn't going to lash out on her. She lied and he still understood. She couldn't ask for a better friend.
"Well Harry has known and accepted this for two years now. So what could possibly be the problem with you two?" he asked.
"Is it work. I mean he hasn't been himself lately with Malfoy back in the picture" he paused searching her eyes he frowned.
"Who is Ashlynn's father?" he asked quickly.
Something told him he already knew. He just hoped for once his thoughts were wrong. Don't let it be malfoy. Don't you dare say Malfoy he kept saying to himself.
He groaned as she became uneasy. Everything seemed to fall into place. Harry hadn't been the same since Malfoy returned and Hermione seemed un nerved lately too.
All the meetings and confrontations with Malfoy, it made sense. He wanted more than ever to be wrong.
"Hermione?" he said breaking the silence. "Who is the father?" he repeated.
Holding back the tears by closing her eyes she sighed "Draco Malfoy" she whispered.
"For the love of god Malfoy!" he groaned "Mione, freaking Malfoy"
"Yes Draco Malfoy" she spat close to irritation. She knew it wasn't smart. Did everyone have to keep telling her over and over?
"You must hate me now?" she groaned covering her face. She had already lost Harry and now Ron would surely follow. Never in her life had she felt so alone.
"Hey, hey, hey. I may be surprised. And I damn sure don't agree with it but I could never hate you" he assured her wrapping into a hug. The simple gesture erased the fear she harbored since she left her house.
Feeling like the world was closing in on her she buried herself in his arms and cried.
"Shush" he whispered as he lifted her head to look at her "Everything is going to be okay I'm going to see Harry and fix this straight away" he said.
Hermione smiled weakly "Ron, it's no use. He wouldn't even listen to me. Don't waste your time"
"I don't want you getting wrapped up in my mess" she sighed looking at the floor.
Once again he lifted her head "It's too late for that" he smiled "I became wrapped up in your mess the day I rescued your arse from a troll"
She couldn't help herself and laughed.
His finger gently wiped away a tear before he cupped her face in his hand. "Hermione Jane Potter, you are my best friend and I love you. For once will you just lean on me"?
With watery eyes she searched his face. His eyes begged her to trust in him and she did. With a deep sigh she readied herself to say what he deserved to hear.
"Ron, I need your help"
Grinning he kissed her forehead "I thought you'd never ask"
Hermione sat down next to her sleeping daughter gently rubbing her forehead. She felt guilty for ruining her life. She knew Ashlynn wasn't the only one who would never get over this.
Ron knocked for the tenth time, as he stood in front of Harry's flat. Nobody was answering and Ron knew he was home. It wasn't time for work yet.
Growling he apperated in. Glancing around the house seemed to be empty. "Harry" he called out. No answer.
Walking up the steps he headed to the bedroom. "Harry" he called as he knocked. "Harry are you here?" he called again.
Ron didn't wait for an answer this time. Opening the door he enter the room empty. But the sheets where rumpled evidence that he was here earlier.
Ron was about to leave when Harry emerged from the bathroom, his hair wet and a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Hey, I just left Hermione. What the hell is going on?" he asked. Harry didn't say a word only glared as he made his way to the closet.
"Harry did you hear me?" he said standing in front of the closet.
"I don't want to talk about it Ron" Harry said dryly.
"You just sent your wife away and you don't want to talk about it" Ron scoffed
"Harry, she's not doing good. Don't you care?" He asked him. Harry jerked a shirt off the hanger and walked out the closet. Pulling the shirt over his head, he grabbed his glasses.
"Hermione is just fine," he told Ron gruffly but deep down inside he was worried about her.
"I just left her Harry and she's not fine. Ashlynn will wondered where you are" He seemed to capture Harry's attention by mentioning Ashlynn.
Harry stiffened, god he missed them. He wanted nothing more than both of them back at home with him but Hermione made her choice and it wasn't that.
"You guys were so happy." Ron said picking up a picture of them. "Yeah well looks can be deceiving" Harry snapped.
"I refuse to believe that. I saw the way you two were together. You love each other"
"Ron you have no clue about what I feel" Harry said. "Focus on your marriage cause mine is through"
Ron's eyes widen "What the heck is wrong with you? Your wife needs you right. How can you stand there and act like you don't care?"
"SHE IS THE ONE WHO DOESN'T CARE" he yelled. "TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU RON, SHE DOESN'T WANT ME. SHE NEVER HAS AND NEVER WILL" he panted looking at Ron with pure hate.
"What are you talking about? She wants you, don't be a fool. Are you really going to let her walk out of your life," he asked shocked.
Harry didn't grace him with an answer. "I hope you know what your doing" he said.
Slipping on his robes Harry nodded "I know exactly what I'm doing" he told him sharply.
His tone grew quiet when Ron next addressed Harry "Would you mind clarifying that for me, better? Or do you intend to keep that information to yourself?"
Harry's chin tipped up in an almost arrogant fashion. "Oh, believe me, I intend to make things unbelievably clear. To you, and Hermione"
"See you at work" Harry called before disappearing. Ron sighed; he was deeply worried about Harry. Sure Harry acted like he didn't care but he knew that wasn't the case. Now he had to figure out what to do next. He made a promise to Hermione and he intended to keep it.
Later that afternoon, Hermione walked down the hall toward Harry's office, a mixture of emotions mingling in her chest. She was nervous and yet hopeful. She received a message from his secretary earlier this morning. Evidently Ron's talk with Harry made he rethink talking to her.
She tried hard to fight the resentment she felt toward Harry, understanding his treatment of her was caused by his emotional state of mind. But she'd be lying if she didn't admit to feeling irritated.
She might understand how he felt, but damn it, he didn't even give her the chance to explain and he didn't have to take it out on her did he? Apparently, yes.
A deep sense of sadness rolled over her like a heavy, gray cloud. She missed Harry- missed spending time with him, missed feeling all those intimate emotions he conjured in her.
It was sad to think that just when their relationship had started to grow, there had been this awful mess with Draco and Ashlynn that killed off anything Harry may have felt for her.
And to be even more unfair the attraction she felt for him hadn't stopped one bit. The idea that she had done something to destroy the chance at love caused a mantle of hurt to rest on her shoulders.
Maybe if she just talked to him about what he thought he saw, if she tried to explain… She inhaled deeply. No she thought. She already tried to explain and he refused to listen.
That's what got her into this predicament to begin with.
Heaving another sigh, Hermione entered the open area where Harry's office sat. The door of his office was opened and he looked up and motioned her inside.
"I see you got my message. Glad you could come. I have something I need you to sign," he said.
The way he got straight down to business only heighten the sense of sadness that weighed on her heart.
"I need our signature on these papers. You'll be stipulating how much money will be transferred from my vault to one of your own. And that you agree to the terms"
He paused for a split second; his piercing emerald eyes studied her. "I think you will find I have been more than fair to you and Ashlynn"
Hermione wrinkled her brow in confusion. "I don't understand," she said.
He pushed some papers across the desk. Hermione glanced at him before picking them up and began reading.
"So" he finally said after she didn't speak, "Does everything sound okay with you?"
"These are divorce papers Harry," she whispered. "Your filing for a divorce?"
"Considering the circumstances I think it was the next logical step. Sign here" he instructed.
To hurt to speak and too numb to cry she picked up a pen and scrawled her name.
"And here" he turned the page and pointed at the blank line at the bottom. Again, she pushed the pen across the page.
He straightened the documents, tapping them on the desktop. "Thank you, Hermione"
There was dismissal in his voice- a dismissal that made tears surge forth and cloud her vision. Is this what their relationship had come down to? She wondered.
Cold, impersonal business. Where had the friendliness gone? The intimacy that had been so prevalent before?
The silent words only mocked her. She knew what happened between them, knew she was partly to blame. And that nearly killed her.
"Harry I don't like this. I don't want a divorce" the whispered words grated her throat.
His emerald eyes narrowed, his jaw tightened. "Don't," he said. "It's better if we don't talk about it"
"Better?" Her gaze widened with disbelief at his words "Better than what?"
Harry looked away, dragging his fingers through his dark hair. "Better than avoiding each other?" she continued. "Better than ignoring the family we have together? Better than…"
"Stop it" He stood with such force that his chair rolled back and smacked the wall. "I don't want to argue with you. It tears me up inside. I hate it please," his voice was ragged, "I just don't want to fight."
She searched his face. After a moment she said softly "We don't have to fight. I don't like arguing with you, either. But can't we at least talk? Can we at least find out what's going on here?"
Harry's face became a mask, an expressionless disguise that hid everything he was feeling. "It just isn't the right time," he said.
Sorrow welled up inside her so that her breath caught. Placing a hand on her heart, she looked at him with great difficulty. She knew every bit of the raw anguish inside her blatantly showed on her face, in her stance, in her eyes. She didn't care. She wanted Harry to understand her pain.
He came around the desk, but she noticed that he was very careful not to touch her.
"Don't you think I miss…" he seemed to search for words "What we had? Don't you think I hate the fact that Draco has come between us?"
A single tear trailed down her face. Only because you let him. The silent words screamed inside her head, but her throat felt swollen with emotion she couldn't get them out.
"I don't want us to be like this," he said. For a moment, Hermione was certain that he was going to reach out for her. But he didn't.
His shoulders squared "But at the same time, I cant help feeling hurt. You betrayed me Hermione. You sided with Draco. You did it with no regard for my feelings"
"I did no such thing. I've been trying to tell you. Draco did this" "I don't believe that" he said. "You argued Draco's case in the past to vigorously for me to believe that."
"But Harry I"
He cut her off. "Look, I know that in the end the whole thing may not be good for Ashlynn. I'd be foolish not to see it" he lifted his hand palm side up. "But she will move on and grow from this"
"I just need time" he said "But I will adjust"
There was something in the way he said those four words that made me lift her gaze. Something in his tone that scratched the outer layer of hopelessness that held her. Had she imagined the hint of optimism in his voice?
He stood a foot from her, his arms tucked tightly across his chest.
"I just need time" but this time when he made the statement the hopeful quality she'd just heard was completely gone, and she was left wondering if she even heard it at all. For a split second she thought that maybe he'd been trying to imply that, with the passage of time, their relationship might have another chance.
But now looking at his handsome expressionless face, she had to question if maybe it had been her own hope, her own desire, that had put some special inflection, some special meaning to his words.
She nodded vaguely, feeling more confused and frustrated than ever.
"One more thing, do you think that you could maybe let me know how Ashlynn's doing?"
Hermione wanted to say something to make this whole bad situation go away. God how she wanted to find the words to make everything right. But she couldn't get her tongue to form even one syllable.
"I'm sorry" Harry said, his eyes filling with tears "I know I'm asking too much" he shook his head "But she's my daughter Hermione. Ashlynn is my baby in here," he pointed to his heart. "It's going to kill me to just walk away from her"
Hermione nodded to afraid of her voice to speak. She had to get out of there and fast. Her heart was breaking more and more with every minute she stood with him. It was over and she was helpless to stop it.
She had lost him for good this time and just when she realized she needed him the most.
Harry watched Hermione run from the office. He wanted to go after her but something held him. She didn't want his love she made that clear from the beginning and he was fine with that. Hell he even agreed to the same terms; that is until he made the mistake of falling for her.
But she wanted Draco not him. As much as it killed him to let her go, it would kill him more if she weren't happy.
The thought made him angry. He had everything until Draco returned and took it all away. Looking at the papers piled nice and neat on the desk he growled.
"Damn you to hell Draco" he yelled throwing the papers across the room.
Hermione blinded by her tears charged down the stairs. She sobbed as she turned the corner only to bump into something or someone.
"Hermione" Draco said as she slammed into him coming close to falling he grabbed a hold of the rail to keep them both from falling.
"Hermione, are you okay?" he asked sounding worried.
Hermione jerked away from him as the mere touch of him sickened her. He pretended not to see the look of hatred in her eyes.
"Am I okay" she screeched wildly "Am I okay. No I'm not okay Draco. Harry has filed for a divorce. I've lost him for good and it's all your fault" she cried.
"I will never forgive you for this never" she whispered dangerously. And continued down the stairs running away from Harry, running away from Draco and wishing she could run away from herself.
Draco brushed past the others quickly heading toward Harry's office. Hermione left her clearly upset and he wanted to know what happened. He didn't like the fact that he hurt her. Shit he wasn't the nicest person in the world but he damn sure knew how you should treat your wife.
"What's your problem?" he demanded storming into Harry's office.
"You're my problem" he spat evilly. He wanted to rip his head off. He had to grab the desk to keep from lunging at him.
"Your problem is with Hermione not me," Draco told him.
"Don't you dare speak her name in front of me" Harry warned him dangerously low.
"Fine have it your way" he sighed "But you have better talk to Hermione from the heart. Before I do" He walked to the door, turning to look at Harry one last time.
"Cause if that happens, then I will be your problem"
There it is guy's chapter 13. Please review and left me know what you think.