A/N : Wow, so many reviews! You guys rock. Big thanx to you all; Ember91, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Spuffy2008, Spikez-babe91, spuffymonica, Ape18, souled-angel, wicked-angel413, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, funkydevil206, Casey, Inuyasha-xcgirl, bella-lover, spuffygrl, spiked-gurl, Lifes-Slayer, Brunettepet, Moluvsnumber17, Daniel Wesley Rydell, and Freezyboncoolipants. Trust me, there will be sweet Spuffy love in this fic... eventually!
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 17 - The Visitors

Spike had lay awake most of the night thinking about what had happened with Buffy. Of all the reactions he'd anticipated when he told her he loved her, what he got was not at all what he'd expected. It was bad enough when she'd laughed at him, as if it were some kind of ridiculous suggestion that he could ever love her and that she should love him back in turn. What had hurt more was her assumption that despite all they'd shared and all they knew about each other, she would assume that when it came to love and sex he was just another man who wanted to use her. Of course he was not like all the others she had come across, when he said he loved her it wasn't because he wanted to get her into bed.

Though obviously he'd thought about them getting that close eventually, Spike's attraction to Buffy was not purely physical. She was as beautiful on the inside as the outside, at least he knew she could be when she let her guard down and showed what he saw to be her true self, kind and compassionate and everything he ever wanted in a woman but didn't realise it til he met her.

Buffy had been hurt so badly by so many, it was little wonder that new situations led to her lashing out to hide her fear. Whilst she had spoken so strongly, telling him she expected nothing more than a sex-obsessed animal because he was male, Spike wondered if it was as simple as just that or whether she was just afraid as he'd surmised. If she did feel something real for him, as he did for her, and he could only wish such a thing were true, it would make sense for her to react as she had. To be scared was to be weak, or so Buffy seemed to think, and to cover for the fact he had worried her by telling her he loved her, she hurt him.

Spike sighed as he went over it all in his mind again, glad that Buffy wasn't telepathic or anything since she was sitting right beside him in the car. They were headed down to the hotel near the institution so they could visit Dru, stay over for one night then drive on to Giles' House. Buffy had not said two words since they left London and the only sounds were the hum of the engine as they went along and the music from the radio that played softly in the background, some pop tune that neither of them really wanted to hear.

With her eyes fixed out of the window, Buffy was in no hurry to look at Spike. She really hadn't slept at all last night, going over last night in her mind, again and again until it made sense, but it never did. She hated herself right now, and for more than one reason. First for putting herself in this insane situation, second for hurting William, and third for caring that she'd hurt him at all. If she believed in witchcraft she'd say he'd put a spell on her because just with a certain look from Spike these days she wasn't sure which way was up. When he kissed her last night, Buffy didn't have words to describe what that felt like, and yet when he'd said he loved her, he'd shattered it all.

Buffy wasn't certain why she'd laughed about it. Maybe because it had come as so much of a surprise, or maybe because she'd subconsciously been waiting to hear it and never really thought she would. More than both these reasons, Buffy knew the real answer was because she was scared. She was so afraid of the two options that lie before her - either Spike was lying about his feelings for her just to sleep with her, which as crazy as it sounded would break her heart in two, or he meant it when he said he loved her, and somehow that was almost worse.

She could deal with liars and cheats, she'd been doing that for years and Faith had taught her well. If a guy wanted sex, and you liked him enough to play, you went for it. If he spun you a line you just remembered it so you could laugh about how lame it was tomorrow, none of it really meant anything, it was just a good time, but this was different. Spike's lips on hers was like nothing Buffy could describe, his hands on her body made her shiver and burn for him at the same time, and when he'd said those three little words that should mean the world, she was petrified and reacted the only way she knew how.

Now everything was awkward, and possibly the worst part of the whole situation was that she'd lost a friend out of the deal. Buffy Summers didn't need friends, at least that's what she told people, but she was so lonely in her little world of solitude. There was Faith of course but she had precisely three topics of conversation; men, sex, and money, and also Angel but he was way more interested in Buffy's body than her conversation. Apart from them it was just a long line of males that she used and that used her in kind, until she came to England.

Giles was a nice enough guy, and pretty decent to take her in for the Summer. Even though she'd been pretty bitchy to start off with he'd only ever raised his voice to her once, and then it was only because he was worried for her safety when she dived in a filthy lake! And then there was William, the first person in so many years that Buffy actually felt like she could talk to about anything and everything, and that's just what she'd done. She knew his life story, he knew hers, and all in a matter of a couple of weeks. Though they made the oddest pair of friends, that was precisely what they were, or at least what they had been until last night. Now Buffy couldn't ever see a time when things would be okay between them and she looked forward to getting back to Giles' House where there were plenty of places to hide out of his way. Not that she was usually the run and hide type, she'd stand and fight anything that came at her, but she'd never felt this way before, and until she figured out how to deal with it she'd rather not be around William Rayne.

Her task of avoidance was obviously impossible for now as they shared the minimal space within the car and it seemed whilst Buffy was quite happy to ignore the awkward situation, the over-bearing silence had gotten the better of Spike.

"Buffy, I really think we should talk, pet" he told her with a sigh.

The blonde kept her eyes fixed out of the window.

"I don't" she snapped, hoping he would just shut up already.

"You know for a young woman who thinks she's so clever you're being incredibly childish" he snapped right back, knowing that little insult would definitely get her attention if nothing else - he was quite bored with seeing the side and back of her head every time he spared her a glance.

"Shut your mouth, Spike!" she yelled, "You don't know anything about me, so don't think for a second that you do!"

"I know enough" he retorted, eyes flicking between her and the road, "I know you're not the person you'd like me and the rest of the world to believe you are, and I know I liked you better when the real you started to show"

Buffy looked at him dumbly for a moment before she thought of an answer and voiced it.

"There is no other me" she said, folding her arms over her chest and staring straight ahead out of the windshield instead of the side window now, "This is it, what you see is what you get, and that's all"

"Then I'm almost glad last night went as it did" Spike told her in a more moderated tone as he pulled into the parking area outside the hotel and unbuckled his seat-belt, "because I'm sure it would have been a great disappointment for the both of us" he said somewhere been sad and nasty as he got out of the car. Buffy was too stunned to follow for a moment and when she did she deliberately stayed a few feet away from Spike. He hardly ever said anything that hurt her, very few people had the ability to cause her pain most especially with simple words. The fact that William Rayne could was only strengthening the argument that she cared more for him than she really ought to.

It was a couple of hours later that Spike drove them both to the institution to see Drusilla. As he turned off the engine in the parking lot, he turned to Buffy before she had a chance to vacate the car.

"When we get in there" he told her, "I don't want Dru knowing we've fallen out, it'll only upset her" he explained, "You can manage civility until we get out again, can't you, pet?" he checked, head tilted as he stared at her, "Well of course you can" he nodded absently as he answered his own question, "You've already proven to be quite the actress"

Buffy was seething as she got out of the car and they walked up to the doors. She'd love to yell right now, scream and rave and attempt to pull this guy limb from limb, but she wouldn't, not only because they were about to enter an insane asylum and she'd probably be admitted on sight, but also because feeling any kind of passion towards Spike, even the angry kind, worried her immensely that her feelings might run deeper than she ever thought possible.

As they arrived outside Drusilla's door and were told they could go in, both Buffy and Spike painted on fake smiles to greet her with. William had quite forgotten how perceptive his sister could be and Buffy had no idea til now.

"Ooh" Dru shivered as if cold as she hugged them both one after the other, "My dear brother and his girl bring the snow and ice in their hearts" she said, looking at them both with wide eyes, "And yet such heat and fire was there, all gone away... flames put out by smoky wisps of fear and..." her breath caught in her throat and Buffy was just about to worry about the dark haired girl when she suddenly burst out laughing.

Spike cracked a smile at the sound of the infectious giggling and even Buffy couldn't help but grin a little.

"Bloody hell, Dru" her brother commented, "You sound like a hyena in spasm, pet" he laughed.

"But it's so funny" she exclaimed, still giggling madly as she came towards him, "Look at my dear brother, all dressed up like a real man" she said, holding his hands in hers and spreading their arms wide so she got a proper view of his new clothes.

"Not so sure about that" he sighed, "Different though. You approve, luv?" he checked and she nodded firmly.

"Better" she told him, "Better than butter, on scones for tea" she grinned, her eyes sparkling with real joy that Spike loved to see. He rarely saw such happiness in her, though she smiled it hardly ever reached her eyes, but today it did. It was strange to think that the one day he was out of spirits, she was full of the joys of spring.

"Hello, sister dear" Dru was still smiling as she crossed the room towards Buffy. Spike frowned at that.

"Dru, pet, this is Buffy remember?" he told her, wondering where the whole sister thing was coming from again.

"Hush, William. Bad dog" she shushed him, turning sharply to look at him and then back at Buffy, "He speaks out of turn" she told Buffy solemnly, "He doesn't understand yet, but he will"

"I'm sure he will" the blonde greed not knowing what else to say, "Er, how are you Dru? Is Miss Edith okay?" she asked, vaguely remembering the name of the doll Drusilla was so fond of and hoping to get the raven-haired girl of the subject of herself and Spike.

"We shall not speak of her" Dru whispered conspiritally, "She is a bad example, I took her cakes away"

"Oh, that's too bad" Buffy sympathised, looking so genuine, Spike wasn't entirely sure if she were acting or if she did genuinely care.

It had been her idea to leave London a day later so they could visitor Dru again on the way back to Giles' House but then last night had proven he didn't know the girl as well as he thought he had.

The time went on and Drusilla talked animatedly about things she'd been doing, and things she'd dreamt up, like skating on clouds and sliding down rainbows. Buffy took it all as if it made perfect sense, and never once treated Dru like anything other than an ordinary human being, in fact there were times when Spike thought his sister had been right in counting Buffy as sibling, she behaved almost as if she and Drusilla were just that.

"Must you go away so soon?" his sister said sadly as Spike told her they ought to be going, "Princess wanted you to stay longer" she pouted.

"Sorry, luv, but I don't fancy the hotel tonight and it's still a fair way try drive back to the house" he explained.

Buffy shot him a look, wondering what the sudden hurry was to get home. She guessed it had something to do with staying in hotels with her in the next room.

The three said their goodbyes, and Drusilla hugged first her brother then her new friend. As she did so she whispered in Buffy's ear.

"It's not over, it's only just beginning" she giggled, winking at the blonde as she went out of the door with a frown on her face.

Though the message was a little cryptic she certainly knew what she hoped it meant, that perhaps Spike's love for her was real and that if she let herself love him back as part of her so desperately wanted to, it might all be okay. Still, she wasn't certain enough of her feelings or his to test the theory just yet.

It was raining hard and getting dark when Spike pulled the car into the garage of Giles House. Buffy was out of the car in a flash, collecting her bag from the back seat and planning to make a run for it before Spike or anyone else decided to speak to her. There had been silence again in the car which suited her fine but Buffy wasn't so sure he would keep his peace now they were home. She was right she realised as she got to the door and he dodged in front, blocking her way.

"Move" she demanded, "Or I'll make you move"

"Like to see you do that, pet" Spike almost smirked as he looked down on her.

He had no doubt she was a tough little thing but he wasn't as weak as he looked and last night's incident in which he'd landed flat on his back when she pushed him was purely because she'd taken him by surprise.

After a moments glaring, Buffy was so determined not to talk to him, she turned and ran out the main entrance of the garage and into the pouring rain. She hurried round the side of the building, hampered a little by her high heeled boots, giving Spike a chance to catch up to her.

They arrived at the main doors together and she thumped on them to be let in. Willow was there in a moment and was stunned to see two black clad blonde's stumble in as she opened the door.

"Leave me the hell alone, Spike!" Buffy exclaimed only stopping in her big storming away moment when she realised two men were staring at her and Spike like they had a couple of extra heads each.

"William?" Giles gasped at the sight of his nephew complete with black leather coat and bleached blond hair.

"Spike?" Buffy said as she glanced between him and the other man who had locked gazes.

"Father" Spike sneered, eyeing the man with distaste.

"Hello, son" Ethan Rayne grinned, almost evilly, "What, no hug for your old man?"

To Be Continued...