A/N : Thanx muxhly to the recent revewiers; spuffy-monica, Spuffy2008, spikegothicchick, Casey, Inuyasha-xcgirl, bella-lover, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Ape18, souled-angel, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Daniel Wesley Rydell, Ember91, Lifes-Slayer, spuffygrl/trufan, Brunettepet, spiked-gurl, and Moluvsnumber17. Oh and if it wasn't obvious, the mystery phone calls before were from Ethan. Hope you all like this new chapter!
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 19 - The Night (Part I)

Five days passed and the coldness between Buffy and Spike began to thaw. He couldn't be in the house with her and not spend time with her, it was impossible when he loved her so much as he knew he did. He made a point of keeping his distance from her though, when they played snooker or pool, he would explain how she should put her body instead of touching her, and when they talked they'd sit several feet apart and stick to neutral topics.

In some ways Spike hated it, having to make a conscience effort not to get too close. He wanted to learn to be Buffy's friend since that seemed to be what she wanted and it was better than nothing. Still, he couldn't help but wonder now and then if she was as indifferent to his feelings as she seemed. She was different since London, both in looks and attitude. She wore different clothes, the few she owned that covered her better. She talked more softly and listened more intently, no more headphones pounding loud punkish music in her ears, no more sliding down the banisters when she thought no one was looking.

Spike liked this side of her, and yet he did not like to think she was unhappy or for any reason not being herself. He loved her for what she was, he could accept all of it, the good and the bad. As crazy as it seemed, it was as if she was trying to be what he wanted now, and yet she could never be this way. She was what he wanted when she was herself alone, though Spike didn't tell her that, for fear he'd make a mistake and end up being laughed at again.

When he'd laid his heart on the line, it'd got spectacularly stepped on and unless he was absolutely certain things had changed in a major way, he would not be making such declarations again in a hurry.

Buffy herself was both loving and hating the time she spent with Spike as much as he was. Whilst she felt as if she lived for the moments they spent together, talking and laughing and being friends, it tore at her insides when she realised she could've had more than this, could've known what it was to be in a normal loving relationship. William loved her, probably still did, but the very idea of bringing up the subject made her feel sick to her stomach.

How did you tell a guy what you were feeling for him when you barely knew yourself? That was what Buffy really wanted to know. All she knew was how to show her wanting for a man but she didn't only want Spike in that physical way and she wouldn't want him to think that was all there was to her. As much as she craved his kiss and his touch, she so wanted him just to relax around her. Before, they'd been so easy with other, despite the fact they were so different, they'd found things they had in common and talked about everything. Sometimes their hands would find each other on the couch and they'd share a smile and it was just so... nice, was the only word Buffy could think to describe it but it was more than that.

Now it seemed as if everything had been lost, the true friendship that had formed between them as well as the possible romantic relationship they might've had if she hadn't been such an idiot before.

It was mid-afternoon and Giles had asked to speak to William who had obediently followed his uncle into his office. Buffy had watched him go, sighing to herself as she thought how gorgeous he looked again today. It was coming up for two weeks since his hair had been bleached and the brownish routes were starting to show through, somehow making him look even more sexy than before. Though he wore smarter clothes here, he stuck to black and dark colours, always looking kind of dangerous and predator-ish, Buffy thought. His looking so good did nothing to help her concentration on anything else, and she was standing outside Giles' office door, waiting for Spike to re-appear and day-dreaming about him when a hand landed on her shoulder and made her jump. She swung round fast, leg swinging out and almost taking Wesley's own out from under him.

"Bugger me" he gasped, jumping back and Buffy sighed as she realised it was only Wes and not someone trying to attack her. You could never be too careful in LA and she'd learnt a few moves over her time living there and attending some particularly seedy dives with her cousin.

"What's up, Wes?" she asked, not really caring what he was going to say to her and yet listening anyway.

"Willow was telling me about your trip to London" he explained, "Or at least what you and William... or should I say Spike" he smirked, "have told her about it"

"So?" Buffy prompted, thinking there had to be a point here somewhere and getting really bored waiting for it.

"Well, there aren't only night-clubs in London you know, Buffy" Wesley smiled, "There's a place just a few miles from the House, as good as any place in the capital"

Buffy opened her mouth to say no, she didn't want to go, but then a thought struck her. Things between herself and Spike were getting better but they were awkward at best and the stress of always being careful and sensible was starting to get to her. It might be good for the both of them, her and Spike, to blow off a little steam. There would be so many people at the Club they wouldn't have to be alone together if they didn't want to, although Buffy knew she did want to be alone with Spike as much as possible, in the vain hope that the night in London might re-create itself somehow.

"Er, when are you going?" she asked Wes, suddenly remembering he was there and still waiting for a response.

"I don't know really" he admitted, "I was thinking perhaps tonight. I was planning to go before, but Willow isn't keen and I thought perhaps if another girl were to come along..."

Buffy rolled her eyes as she realised she wasn't being invited to go out with him at all, she was just required to make the red-head feel better.

"Whatever" she sighed, "I'll come along, I guess, although I don't see Willow as the night-club type" she almost giggled at the very idea, just as the girl in question appeared behind them.

"Well, maybe I wanna be" she said, a little hurt by the comment, "I can do the whole clubbing thing, with the outfit and the dancing and the... stuff" she ended a little more lamely than she'd begun as Wes put his arm around her shoulders.

"Of course you can, darling" he told her, kissing the top of her head, "It'll be fun, I'm sure of it"

"I'm sure" Buffy nodded though the amused expression on her face led Willow to wonder if she wasn't being a little sarcastic. Although she felt sorry for the blonde in a lot of ways, what with her parents dying when she was so young and everything, she did not appreciate her attitude and sarcasm and general loudness. Still, even Willow had to admit Buffy had changed quite a lot since her trip to London with William.

"What's this then?" Spike smirked as he came out of the office door and made all three people outside of it jump, "Was I gone so long I needed a search party sent after me?" he asked with a tilt of his head, looking mostly to Buffy for an answer.

"Of course not" she scoffed, "like we were worried or anything, we just got talking is all"

"We're going to a night-club" Willow announced proudly as if she were five and she'd just learnt to spell her own name. Spike looked more pained than impressed.

"That's nice, luv" he told her as he made to walk away, "You have fun"

"We wanted you to come with" Buffy called after him and he stopped in his tracks for a second then turned back.

"Don't think so, pet" he told her with a shake of his head, "Not really my scene, is it?"

"Not mine either" Willow shrugged, liking the idea of him coming along so she wouldn't feel so out-numbered, "But it could be fun"

Spike took a long look at her almost begging face and then turned his attention to Buffy, who's eyes almost wore the same expression. She wanted him to go and as much as he told himself he shouldn't want to he really did want to say yes. If he didn't go, she'd probably get upset and when she did that, well, he knew her ways of making herself feel better and he couldn't stand the thought of another man touching her that way, not again, not now she knew how he felt, not when he was starting to let himself believe that she might... he never let himself finish those kind of thoughts, the ones where Buffy might have some kind of feelings for him, emotions that transcended friendship and went deeper into love. He'd been wrong before, he wouldn't risk another assumption of such proportions. Still, all that was being asked of him here was to go out with his friends and have some fun. That he thought he might be able to manage.

"Okay, I'll go" he nodded.

The smile that lit up Buffy's face in that moment, he realised, was worth whatever might go wrong this evening.

The club was jam-packed when the four young people arrived. Spike was back in his black T-shirt and jeans with his red shirt and long black leather coat from London. The memories it all brought back, both good and bad, spun through his mind, but he pushed them away. This wasn't London, he was not alone with Buffy, and he no longer laboured under the delusion that he and she would get a happy ever after ending somehow, she'd made it very clear before that it was not going to happen.

Giles had watched with a stunned expression when they'd all trooped down the stairs to go out. Buffy back in her more revealing attire, in fact the very same topand almost non existent skirt that she'd been wearing on that first day when she'd arrived at Giles House though with substantially less make-up to go with it. Then there was Spike in his black and leather, Wesley sporting a not dissimilar look, and finally Willow, who had been without doubt the biggest shock. Buffy had been stunned enough by the red-heads request to borrow something to wear, but she'd been even more shocked by just how hot the housekeepers daughter could look when she tried. In black leather pants and a frilly edged leather basque-style top, she was a completely different person and with a confident air she was glad to have found within herself.

Her mother and Xander would go crazy, she said, if they found out she'd dressed up like this and gone to a club, but everyone vowed not to say a word, even Giles, he liked the girl too much to get her into trouble, and despite the changes William had gone through, his Uncle trusted him to keep a careful eye on the rest of the group and let no harm come to any of them.

Drinks were bought from the bar on arrival, and Spike took a seat on a stool there as he sipped his bourbon. He'd become accustomed to the taste now and found he actually craved it every now and then. Buffy sat down on the stool beside him as Wes and Willow threw themselves into dancing - the little red-head had never looked so excited or free.

"What's up, pet?" Spike frowned as his eyes shifted to Buffy and he watched her stir her strange blue drink round and round with a straw, "Thought you'd be dancing within seconds of clearing the doors" he told her.

"Maybe later" she shrugged, "I thought we could, y'know, maybe talk"

"Done a lot of that lately, ain't we?" he said rhetorically, downing the rest of his drink, already feeling he was going to need it.

"We talk a lot" Buffy nodded in agreement, "but not about anything real, not like before" she said sadly.

"Before" Spike snorted a laugh, "Known each other two or three bleedin' weeks and already we've got a before and an after" he shook his head at how ridiculous it was. He felt as if so much had happened with him and Buffy, and it had really, but in such a short space of time it was insane.

"Same again please, luv" Spike said to the barmaid, holding out his glass to her, "Hey, don't I know you?" he checked, and Buffy felt very much the third wheel as the girl behind the bar glanced up at Spike, declared 'oh my God, William?' and laughed like a drain at the chance reunion.

Buffy grew increasingly bored and agitated as she listened to Spike catch up with Lydia, whom apparently had been an acquaintance of his at school years ago. She had also been kind of geekish back then, and yet here they were now, no longer book-worms William Rayne and Lydia Thompson, but dangerous-looking Spike and sexy barmaid Lydi. With nothing else to do but watch and listen, Buffy found that within her mind she could devise all manner of charming plans for how Lydi might have a terrible accident and lose her looks somehow. It kept her entertained to a certain degree as the barmaid laughed along with Spike, but nothing would quash the jealousy that invaded her whole being til she felt she would surely explode.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : This is another chapter that was getting too long so it got cut into two halves. Expect part two tomorrow night! In the meantime, please review and let me know what you think so far. Oh and spike-gurl, I promise I had this all planned out before I read your previous review!