A/N: Sorry about the third chapter being only the a/n...I don't know what happened...Anyway, here is the real chapter, heh
blah blah blah, don't own teen titans, or Disturbed...blah Story rated R for stuff....blah
Wicked
Temptation
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Laughing now I'm,
Stopping now I'm
Reaching out and I'm
Feeling nothing
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"She did it for me!" A lamp flew across the room, its pale green porcelain fame, painted in animals of the savanna, shattering beyond repair at the floor below. Beast Boys room was now thoroughly trashed, shards of broken objects littered the floor, the walls now bore claw marks when the changeling could no longer find anything worth breaking.
"If I wasn't so fucking weak, if I wasn't so small and-" He slumped down in a corner, pulling his knees to his bare chest. Rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, trying to stop the inevitable. "And so goddamn stupid everything would still be fine!" His head fell between his forearms, hands slowly running through his tousled hair.
'Its your fault that she ended up like this, Beast Boy, its all your fault,'
"No, there was nothing I could do!"
'You always promised yourself you would protect her, you would die for her…But you couldn't, you failed.'
"He would have raped her anyway, you know that!" Beast Boy began clenching his fist. His antagonist lie beyond his reach, somewhere in his mind. The voice had arrived not long after the Beast within him had been caged, and ever since had been plaguing the green boy with his accusations.
'You death could have empowered Raven, though she is helpless when frightened, you know she is unstoppable when she is angry…Remember Dr. Light?' So persistent, so fluid, a voice you could find yourself trusting.
"But what about after that? Don't you think she would have blamed herself?" Jaws clenching, Beast boy fought against hypnotic voice, he couldn't give in to the temptation of that adamant voice.
'You saw her, Beast Boy, she Cried. She let you touch her, hell, she let you kiss her,'
The voice was right. She had let him wipe away her tears, let him carry her to her room, let him kiss her. She had shown him yet another part of her he never knew, and she never meant to.
'Beast Boy, how will you pay for your sins?'
Beast boy snarled, his eyes wincing, he knew what was next, it was always next.
"I will pay for the sins of the flesh through the flesh." His voice was soft, so unlike the voice all the other Titans heard, sad. He turned his head, looking through bracing eyes at his mattress, where he kept his secrets. Moving slowly, he slid himself up the wall, his head craned back to watch the unmoving ceiling.
"Raven, I never meant…it wasn't supposed to happen this way. Something went wrong, somewhere, and I couldn't save you…" Whispering slowly, he reached beneath the box spring mattress, hands searching for something.
"Shit." His hand slipped against the sharp edges of the blade, blood seeping into the wood and pooling in the center of a knot.
"Don't suppose that would suffice…" Muttering to himself, knowing it would never be enough. He pulled the machete from below his bed. It was something he had gotten in Africa when he was a child, nothing more then a ceremonial goat slaughtering knife. It had been transformed over the span of the years into something darker, something nearly divine in its own right.
"For everything I've ever done to her," The broad end of the blade slipped over the flesh on his legs, the cold metal causing goose flesh to erupt all over.
"For every thing I've done," he twisted the blade, running over older, nearly invisible scars.
"For everything I've caused," The sharp side of the blade began to press into his skin, soon the resistance would stop.
"For everything that I've ever done to harm you Raven," The flesh puckered, muscle tensing, awaiting the burn.
"I'm sorry." He drew the blade silently over his leg, blood trailing only moments behind. The sweet sting took him away, beyond his guilt and beyond the voice.
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"Hey Rae, you interested in some breakfast?" Cyborg called from the kitchen, his melodic voice ringing through the living room, and drilling into her head.
"I'll pass, thanks." Raven had not anticipated any of the other Titans to be up yet, it was hardly nine thirty. Brushing past the whistling behemoth, she could not help but remark,
"Love the hat, though, Cy." As the cybernetic member of the team had donned a French chef hat that looked quite ridiculous atop the six and a half foot Cyborg.
"I know, it rocks!" Laughing to himself, he continued about cooking a feast of pancakes suited to each of the Titans taste.
Raven herself decided tea would suffice, hoping it would allow her to forget the eventful morning.
Setting some water to boil in a pan, for her Kettle had been used by Starfire to create some god-awful alien dish, and was now completely incrusted with mustard and blue mold, Raven retreated to her well worn corner of the Titans couch.
"Time to feed the demons…" She whispered spitefully under her breath, as she reached below the couch to retrieve a grungy looking comic book. Flipping the pages, she found her tattered bookmark, some generic piece of cardboard Robin had gotten her for Christmas last year bearing an anime character known as 'Vash'. Though she had never seen the show it advertised, the character was rather charming, so she kept it. Skimming along the first panel, she found where she had left off.
"Any pile of Stunted growth unaware that entertainment is just that and nothing more Deserves to doom themselves to some dank cell somewhere for having been so stupid!! Movies, Books, T.V., Music -they're all just entertainment, not guidebooks for damning yourself!" The abstract character on the page proclaimed. The black and white silhouette seemed mostly harmless, though Raven had been through this comic before and knew exactly where it was headed.
Two other titans had dragged themselves into the kitchen and were sitting at the table, looking half dead.
"Long night?" Cyborg asked, usually Star was more than willing to help with breakfast, or at least get in the way.
"Mhrgggg…" Robin mumbled half-heartedly, his face was mashed against the table, so any further sentiments were lost.
Starfire seemed to awaken a bit more, managing to glance about groggily before heading to the refrigerator for her favorite beverage, mustard.
"Robin had to explain to me the process of-" Pausing, she took a long drink of her mustard, "The birds and the bees, a most confusing allegory, as birds and bees cannot copulate." Smiling, she sat down across from the boy wonder, euphoric as she finished off the last of the bottle.
Snickering, both Cyborg and Raven glanced at Robin, who readily warded off any further discussion with a menacing glare.
The kettle began to scream, and Raven hurriedly tucked her comic back into the depths of the couch before tending to her breakfast.
"Has anyone seen friend Beast Boy?" Raven nearly dropped her cup as Star glanced around, searching for their missing comrade.
"Come to think of it…I haven't seen the little green dude all morning…" Cyborg replied, removing a heaping pile of pancakes from where they had been warming in the oven. "Just means more for me!" As the rest of the team began to eat, Raven silently took her leave. Beast boy never missed a chance to try and get them to eat tofu, no matter how many times he had failed before, not to mention he loved Cyborg's pancakes.
As the half demon walked through the corridors, she could sense something was amiss. The closer she came to Beast Boys room, the louder her heart beat. In her mind she reached out to him, but rather than the usual chaotic mind of her green friend, she found only darkness.
"Beast boy?" She knocked lightly on the door, if he was just sleeping, she didn't want to have to explain herself.
Nothing.
"Beast boy, open the door." Louder now, her voice was tinged with fear.
Silence.
"Beast boy!" Her light rapping had become full fisted knocking.
She stopped, did he just say something?
"Beast boy?" Softer now, she strained her ears to listen.
"Go away." Something was wrong, Raven could hear it in his voice.
"No, open the door."
"I said go away, Raven."
'Shit…what if he's killing himself in there?' Her emotions cried in unison.
'What'll make him open the door…'
"Beast boy…I need you."
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Yeah, you've created a rift within me,
Now there have been several complications
That have left me feeling nothing.
I might say,
You were wrong to take it from me,
Left me feeling nothing.
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