CHAPTER 1

Scarlett wiped the sleep from her eyes, a serene grin on her face. Her grin, in times past, was one in which she'd melted hearts. It was her weapon. It was her defense mechanism. Early on in life, she'd learned how powerful she could be, simply by wearing that cheshire cat smile. And in most instances, she wore it with that purpose in mind, always had some ulterior motive in mind. But never, not at any time, had it appeared effortlessly. At least, not until today. Yes, she'd had happy times in her life. Before the war, that is. It hadn't been all that long ago. She was happy, or so she thought. She had every man in Clayton County at her fingertips, had them at her disposal. Sometimes she used them, sometimes she enjoyed them. But lingering there, always in the back of her mind, was the thought there must be something more.

And there was more, much more. Until today, however, she thought it all rested on Ashley and her much sought after attainment of him. That is, last night.

Why couldn't I see it? Mother taught me so much, but she left out much more. Were my parents ever this way? Did Mother ever wake up feeling like I do at this very moment? Scarlett chided herself for thinking so vulgarly. Her mother was a lady. She'd never think such things. But was it wrong to feel this way? The question perplexed Scarlett greatly. It simply wasn't ladylike to feel such things. She knew she was a lady. If she appeared otherwise it was simply due to the atrocities she'd been forced to endure. Others couldn't see it, some didn't want to see it, but she was a lady. What all her naysayers ignored was the fact she'd simply done what was required of her. That yes, she'd done some unladylike things, committed some unladylike acts, but it was for survival. She'd done those things, not only for her own survival, but for the survival of those she cared about. Some day they'd understand that. She hoped they would.

The war had hardened her, changed her. Unbeknownst to Scarlett, the war had effected her far more than she realized, especially in matters of the heart. Marriage was a duty, an obligation, a means of survival. And then there was this marriage, one she'd delved into more for convenience than anything else. Of course, the promise of fun was quite conducive in her decision to marry Mr. Rhett Butler.

Oh, it had been fun! She'd enjoyed herself immensely at the onset of their nuptials, had let herself go during their honeymoon in New Orleans. But, not unlike her husband, she hadn't entirely let herself go. Not until last night. Rhett had forced her into it, had left her with no choice. In that aspect, he was no different from Scarlett. And as for him, he'd been tempted before, had on many occasions nearly talked himself into giving himself entirely to her. And then, knowing no good could ever come of it, he'd brush aside those thoughts. It was at those moments he put on that sardonic grin of his, traded barbs with her, did something, anything to keep her at bay. Never, under any circumstances was she to ever know how he truly felt about her.

It was a circle, a never ending circle between the two of them. Never put oneself at risk of being hurt. If nothing else they shared that common divide. Until last night, they'd been successful at keeping it at bay. Last night.

On an emotional level, they were further from one another than they'd been the previous night during that horrible confrontation. While one was giddy, the other was regretful. Scarlett had finally found what she'd longed for. Feeling this way was so new...so unexpected. And for the first time in a long time, Scarlett felt she had something to look forward to.

Rhett's thoughts, however, did not echo hers. Quite the contrary, he cursed himself, called himself a fool. He'd wanted her so badly, had longed for her so. What he'd done, taking her, utilizing brute force in doing so...it was not how he'd intended things to play out between the two of them. Yes, she'd given to him what he'd sought after. But the manner in which she'd done so, it was far removed from the way he'd envisioned it.

Let her come to you...she will...give her time... He'd repeated that to himself countless times. And he'd been patient with her. Rhett had grown accustomed to it, from that first time he'd laid eyes on her at Twelve Oaks.

Don't give in to her...never let your guard down... Yet, he'd done just that! Scarlett would never forgive him, and he doubted he could ever forgive himself.

"I wonder where he's keeping himself...," Scarlett grinned to herself, steering her gaze toward the door. She sat up straight, enabling her to gaze at her reflection in the mirror. In doing so, she found herself in no need of rouge. Her cheeks were rosy. Her lips required no enhancement, for they were bright of their own accord. She was...blissful... "He'll be here any minute..."