A/N: I want to apologize for the wait on this chapter, aside from mid-terms and family troubles, I really procrastinated on this one. -; Go ahead, shoot me, I'm sorry! But its Five pages of 12pt font! Five! Ooh, and what originally was going to be two chapters was merged into one, since they flow right into one another, and if I had stopped where I planned...My tangibles would have killed me.
Shout outs:
Windup: Thanks for the great review, now, to answer the question about beast Boy's guilt. Have you ever been put into a situation that you couldn't change, no matter how hard you tried? There is a lot of guilt that accompanies the feeling of helplessness for most people.
I do love the word choice though, "...rolling around on the floor and gurgling." That really made my day
And thank you so much for your lavish praise, that always slicks the track for the next chapter.
Squeegee: That last scene was necessary, even if it seems mildly out of place, for a few reasons. It wasn't only anger that caused her to do this, it was something else, but I'm not allowed to tell. (Yay! This has got to be the, er, fifth sub-plot in the story!)
Mr Jellohead: So Glad you liked it And I'll make sure to send you e-mails when I update again!
Ebony: You are quite right about that. Many people cut because they feel it is the only way they can ask for help, and other people do it because they think it somehow makes them 'cool'. I'm sure this has to do with the whole 'Teenage angst' thing I'm always hearing about. The most unfortunate part about it is, that many times you cannot separate those who are really in need from those who seek attention or status.
Hanita-chan: Thanks and I'm sorry to keep you waiting for so long. You are so lucky to have that many instructors, even if they can't always get along. Thanks, and good luck to you too!
Manda/Kri: Me luvies, thank you so much for helping me to get this chapter right! Even though I can successfully put some of the delayed chapter blame on you! evil cackle
Tired...oh so tired...Z
Rating: R, just like all the other chapters, for stuff.
Disclaimer: If I owned tt, you just know there would be an episode dedicated to Beast Boy's hair. Its so cool and green!
Wicked
Beneath Skinned Knees
-
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen,
listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
-
Robin sat at the dining table, running a hand through his wet hair. Glancing at the clock, he sighed, pulling restlessly at the sleeves of his sweatshirt as he waited for the others to arrive. This was to be a 'boys only' meeting, he felt bad about not telling Star, but she had a way with letting things slip, and Robin knew that was something they could not afford. Beast Boy sauntered slowly through the door, tousled green hair in his eyes.
"Hey...Where's, um, Cy?" The changeling looked around, startled he had arrived before the meta-human. "I don't know...Guess he's still back in his room." Robin shrugged, pushing a chair out with his foot. Smiling drowsily, Beast boy turned the chair around, sitting backwards with his arms draped over the table.
"Remind me again...Why are we having a meeting in the middle of the night?" Before Robin could answer, the final member of their party arrived.
"Ok, Robin. Now you're going to let up on why you've got us out here in the middle of the night, and why we couldn't tell Rae and Star." Cyborg said, taking his seat across the table from Beast Boy. Robin sighed, rubbing his temples on either side of his mask. "Ok, Raven has been acting...weird lately, weirder than normal. Both of you've seen that, right?" Rhetorical question, the other boys knew not to interrupt.
"And I know you both probably have theories on why..." Rubbing the back of his neck, the Boy wonder stared at the table, trying to avoid having to elaborate. Beast boy sat silently, watching the far wall, popping his knuckles, 'How much does he know?' "And that letter we found, from Red"
"What letter?" Beast boy snapped, suddenly rigid in his seat. Eyeing him warily, Robin pulled the letter out of the large pocket, sliding it across the table.
"Like I was saying, the letter we found from Red X, I, uh...Found out what the letter was talking about..." Beast boy looked silently at the paper before him, unable to find the courage to look inside. Cyborg was watching the green boy, he had turned out Robin's meandering speech. The look of incredulity on his face in stark contrast with his usual cocky grin. "I really don't think I ought to be the one to tell you...I mean," The Boy Wonder carried on, his hands fluttering about as he talked at no one. Beast boy looked up, suddenly aware he was being watched. he unfolded the letter, cringing silently as flakes of dried blood crumbled off the edges.
Have you told the others about our little romp, my love?
Beast boy stood, his chair falling from beneath him, as he slammed the letter into the table. Dull pain throbbed in his fist as the parted flesh began to bleed. Robin glanced up, startled out of his ranting gracelessly.
"Beast...boy?" The boy stood above the letter, his soda dripping over the edge of the table, hiding his eyes behind his hair.
"How much do you know?" The usual blithe tones had faded, the Changelings voice had deepened. He glared darkly at the table, waiting for an answer. Cyborg and Robin exchanged glances, beast boy had only acted out like this once before.
"How much?" "She told me...Everything." He could hear the changeling groan, jaws tensing as the paper contorted in his hand. "There was nothing I could do...I was caught, you know? I was...Damn it"
"Beast Boy, its ok, Look...No one blames you, alright?" Robin leaned forward, trying to catch the green boys attention. Though rather clueless as to what they were talking about, Cyborg placed a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder.
"Yea, BB, just...Don' worry about it." "Don't tell me not to fucking worry about it! You can't hear her screaming, can you?" He Shrugged Cyborg's hand off, struggling against his anger, Glaring at the other Titans,
daring them to challenge him, daring one of them to speak.
"Fuck you Robin, she blames me. Are you too stupid to notice the way she acts around me now? Are you too blind to see the way she looks at me, the way she looks at all of us? Remember yesterday when we stayed behind? Half the time you were gone I spent trying to make her open up, the rest, I spent trying to fix my arm!" he pulled his sleeve away, revealing a jagged cut that stretched from his wrist to his elbow, it was crudely stitched, and the bandages were falling off, revealing the split skin. "I tried to hug her, you know. Just a hug. Next thing I know I wake up in the infirmary with her sobbing over me. I mean...Raven, crying.
"And its my fault, I should ha-"
"Friends"
All eyes shot across the room to the girl standing in the doorway. "Why is there all this mean-talking at an hour such as this? And Beast boy, when did you receive such grievous wounds?" The red head slowly rubbed one eye with her fist, as the boys gaped, all at a loss. "Uh, StarFire...We were...um"
"Just leaving." Beast Boy finished coldly. He pulled the shirt over his arm, struggling a bit as the gauze caught. "This stays between us, got it?" the boy added quietly, moving swiftly out of the room. "Cyborg, take care of that, ok?" Standing and running his hand through his hair again, Robin could feel a head-ache coming on. "Hey Star"
"Wait, Rob," Cyborg grabbed the edge of his sweatshirt, "Is anyone going to let me in on this"
"Just...go ask her yourself, but watch your back"
-
"Rae? Rae, are you in there?" Cyborg tentatively knocked, hoping like hell he wasn't waking Raven up. Beast Boy had raided the infirmary and locked himself in his room.
("I can deal with it myself, Cy)
Robin had run off to try and convince StarFire that everything was fine, leaving Cyborg with the night and a lot of questions.
Silence.
"I know you're in there Rae..." Leaning against the door, he crossed his arms, wondering if she would come to the door.
He checked his clock, 12:58, good of time as any. Silence.
Straining his ears, Cyborg thought he could hear something from in her room, it sounded ...Like crying.
"Raven?" Still no answer.
'She's going to kill me for this...' Cyborg punched in the key code to her room, taking a deep breath and wishing he was back in bed.
"Raven? Yo, Raven, are you ok?" Carefully stepping into the gloom, Cyborg was shocked to see the state of Ravens room.
He knew she wasn't a neat freak, everyone did, but what he saw appalled him. Books, clothing,
broken mirrors and fragments of drawers were everywhere. Candle wax dripped from shelves and onto the tiled floor, ashes of incense and paper swirled in corners. Cracks in her window whistled eerily as the wind picked up outside the tower.
That noise again, he could swear it sounded just like sobbing.
"Raven?" He called, hesitant to step into the girls room. Raven had forbidden anyone to enter her room after his and Beast Boy's excursion into her mind, and Cyborg knew that she trusted them to respect her space. Sidestepping the debris he moved further into the room, struggling to see through the dark.
His voice dropped to a whisper,
"Raven, where are you?" Her dark violet bed was empty, its sheets a tangled mass at its center, so too was her long closet, its only occupants the legions of familiar uniforms. The sobbing taunted him, echoing weakly through the room, its disembodied agony helpless and untouchable.
Cyborg walked slowly to the center of the room, shaking his head slowly. He had looked everywhere in the small room, and still he had yet to find the ethereal weeping.
Well, almost everywhere.
Cyborg turned, looking to the dark divan, a thin sheet covering the space between the frame and the floor. "Um...Raven?" She wouldn't hide under her bed...right?
The meta human kneeled beside the bed, the sobbing had slowed, but grown more distinct as he pulled away the sheet, revealing the darkness below.
"Raven...oh god."
"God...Raven..." She lie curled beneath her bed, clothes long shed, crying softly. Her back was a mass of scars creating a living tapestry, writhing as she gasped softly for air. Vicious white lines arched across her back, pock marks clustered around knotted flesh, fading bruises painted sickly yellow shadows over her skin. "Cyborg?" She rasped, twisting her head to look at him, her eyes were hazy and swollen, blood dripped down her nose.
'Just...another dream...' Cradling her head in her hands, she rolled to face him. Her violet hair stringy with sweat and tears, clinging to her pale face as she pulled her knees to her chest, watching him dully as she wept.
Cyborg sat, unable to find the will to break his paralysis. There lie Raven, the one who preached apathy, the one who didn't do emotion, breaking down before his eyes. She looked so small, so helpless, her eyes vacuous and heavy. "Why?..." Her tears had stopped, leaving only her whispering breath. "Raven...Ah god. C'mere, lets get you cleaned up." He reached out, motors whirring gently in the silence that had ensued as Raven steadied her breathing.
"Just another dream..." She whispered, but the haze that had clouded her mind was lifting. Extending a shaking hand, she felt like she was under water, every motion slow and labored as time passed inconsequentially. As her fingers touched the warm metal of his hand, alarms began to go off deep in her mind, something was very wrong here.
She peered curiously as her hand met resistance when it touched his. Squinting her eyes,
she pulled her legs closer to her chest, while running her fingers over the polished metal of Cyborg's palm.
This wasn't another dream.
"Shit."
Cyborg watched as Raven inspected his hand, dull sensations coming from her touch. She was so cold. Suddenly, her eyes opened completely, the haze gone now. Raven forced herself to breathe, then screwed her eyes shut.
'Please...Please don't let this be...' "Shit"
Cyborg frowned, now she was really scaring him. Whatever color was left in her face dropped, her hands clutching his, as she slowly turned her face up to his.
Raven began to scream.
Cyborg took a moment to realized just what had happened; One second, Raven was huddled under the bed, half dead and completely helpless, then next she was across the room, hugging cape to her chest and screaming at him to get out. All over her room things were exploding, while shards of glass flew at his head. Cyborg turned tail and ran. Scuttling around the ranting girl, he stumbled into the hall, slumping against the door as it closed sharply behind him.
"You got to be shitting me." Rubbing a hand over the back of his metal skull, Cyborg headed dejectedly back toward the Kitchen to grab an ice pack and some aspirin.
1:07 am. It was going to be a long day.
-
Out of the island, into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice,
but you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
-
A/N: I was going to end it, you know. Right after Cyborg said, 'Raven...Oh God,' But...I'm pushing my luck with these deadlines...Douglas Adams Liked deadlines, He liked the "Whoosh noise they made as the pass..." I like 'em too, Dougie, but I also like tacos and living to see another day, so I thought I would post this as soon as I finished! ;; please Review and restrain from harming the writer!
Dougie: My friends and I are Really big Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Fans Ok, we're geeks. But saying 'Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' takes thought and eloquence, and 'Hhg2tg' Is delving a bit too far into the fan-dom, though I do use TT to abbreviate Teen Titans -;; So we nick-named the book Dougie, after the Author. I have a Hhg2tg book too, but his name is Leggy (Don't ask, no one knows why).